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THE    REMINISCENCES 

OF  AN 
IRISH     LAND     AGENT 


THE   REMINISCENCES 

OF  AN 

IRISH   LAND   AGENT 


BEING  THOSE  OF 

S.   M.    HUSSEY 

Compiled   by 

HOME  GORDON 


WITH    TWO    PORTRAITS 

LONDON 

DUCKWORTH  <^ND   COM'P<iANY 

3    HENRIETTA    STREET,    W.C. 

1904 


'^10 

.  Ir66 


Edinburgh  :  T.  and  A.  Constable,  Printers  to  His  Majesty 


PREFACE 

Probably  the  first  criticism  on  this  book  will  be  that  it 
is  colloquial. 

The  reason  for  this  lies  in  the  fact  that  though  Mr.  Hussey 
has  for  two  generations  been  one  of  the  most  noted  racon- 
teurs in  Ireland,  he  has  never  been  addicted  to  writing, 
and  for  that  reason  has  always  declined  to  arrange  his 
memoirs,  though  several  times  approached  by  publishers 
and  strongly  urged  to  do  so  by  his  friends,  notably  Mr. 
Froude  and  Mr.  John  Bright.  If  his  reminiscences  are  to 
be  at  all  characteristic  they  must  be  conversational,  and  it 
is  as  a  talker  that  he  himself  at  length  consents  to  appear 
in  print. 

In  this  volume  he  endeavours  to  supply  some  view  of 
his  own  country  as  it  has  impressed  itself  on  '  the  most 
abused  man  in  Ireland,'  as  Lord  James  of  Hereford  charac- 
terised Mr.  Hussey.  How  little  practical  effect  several 
attacks  on  his  life  and  scores  of  threatening  letters  have  had 
on  him  is  shown  by  the  fact  that  he  survives  at  the  age 
of  eighty  to  express  the  wish  that  his  recollections  may  open 
the  eyes  of  many  as  well  as  prove  diverting. 

Possessing    a    retentive    memory,    he    has    been    further 


vi    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

able  to  assist  me  with  seven  large  volumes  of  newspaper 
cuttings  which  he  had  collected  since  1853,  while  the 
publishers  kindly  permit  the  use  of  two  articles  he  con- 
tributed to  Murray's  Magazine  in  May  and  July  1887. 
To  me  the  preparation  of  this  book  has  been  a  delightful 
task,  materially  helped  by  Mr.  Hussey's  family  as  well  as 
by  a  few  others  on  either  side  of  the  Channel. 

HOME  GORDON. 
13  OviNGTON  Square,  S.W. 


CONTENTS 


PREFACE,  ...... 

CHAP. 

I.  ANCESTRY,  .... 

II.  PARENTAGE  AND  EARLY  YEARS, 

III.  EDUCATION,       . 

IV.  FARMING, 
V.  LAND  AGENT  IN  CORK, 

VL  FAMINE  AND  FEVER, 
VII.  FENIANISM, 

VIII.  MYSELF,  SOME  FACTS,  AND  MANY  STORIES, 
IX.  THE  HARENC  ESTATE, 
X.  KERRY  ELECTIONS,      .... 

XL  DRINK,      .... 

XII.  PRIESTS,    ...... 

XIIL  CONSTABULARY  AND  DISPENSARY  DOCTORS, 
XIV.  IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS,     .... 

XV.  LORD-LIEUTENANTS  AND  CHIEF  SECRETARIES, 
XVI.  GLADSTONIAN  LEGISLATION, 


PAGE 
V 


30 

38 

SO 
60 

71 

82 

93 

lOI 

127 
140 
162 
179 


viii     REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 


XVII.  THE  STATE  OF  KERRY, 
XVIII.  A  GLANCE  AT  MY  STEWARDSHIP, 
XIX.  MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME, 
XX.  THE  EDENBURN  OUTRAGE, 
XXI.  MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES, 
XXII.  COMMISSIONS,    .             .             .             .             . 
XXIII.  LATER  DAYS, 


INDEX, 


PAGE 
194. 

202 

212 

235 

248 

268 

281 

305 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


PORTRAIT  OF  S.  M.  HUSSEY 
PORTRAIT  OF  MRS.  HUSSEY 


frontispiece 
at  p.  71 


REMINISCENCES    OF    AN    IRISH 
LAND    AGENT 

CHAPTER   I 

ANCESTRY 

'  My  father  and  mother  were  both  Kerry  men,'  as  the  saying 
goes  in  my  native  land,  and  better  never  stepped. 

It  was  my  misfortune,  but  not  my  fault,  that  I  was  born 
at  Bath  and  not  in  Kerry. 

However,  my  earliest  recollection  is  of  Dingle,  for  I  was 
only  three  months  old  when  I  was  taken  back  to  Ireland,  and 
up  to  that  time  I  did  not  study  the  English  question  very 
deeply,  especially  as  I  had  an  Irish  nurse. 

There  is  a  lot  of  Hussey  history  before  I  was  born,  and 
some  is  worth  preserving  here. 

It  is  a  thousand  pities  that  so  many  details  of  family 
history  have  been  lost,  and  to  my  mind  it  is  incumbent  on 
one  member  of  every  reasonably  old  family  in  this  generation 
to  collect  and  set  down  what  should  be  remembered  about 
their  ancestors  for  the  unborn  to  come. 

My  contribution  does  not  profess  to  be  very  exhaustive, 
but  it  will  serve  for  want  of  a  better. 

When  a  man  claims  to  be  descended  from  Irish  kings,  it 
generally  means  that  his  forbears  were  bigger  scoundrels  than 
he  is,  for  they  were   cattle-lifters  and  marauders,   whilst  his 

A 


2     REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

depredations  are  probably  disguised  under  some  of  the  many- 
insidious  forms  of  finance.  Just  as  every  Scotsman  is  not 
canny  and  every  American  is  not  cute,  so  every  Irishman  is 
not  what  the  Saxon  believes  him  to  be.  But  there  can  be 
little  doubt  what  type  of  men  these  ancient  Irish  sovereigns 
were,  and  I  regretfully  confess  I  cannot  trace  my  descent 
from  them. 

The  family  of  Hussey  was  of  English  extraction,  according 
to  that  rather  valuable  book  'The  Antient  and  Present  State  of 
the  County  of  Kerry ^  by  Charles  Smith,  1756 — the  companion 
volumes  dealing  with  Cork  and  Waterford  are  much  less 
precious.  Personally  I  always  understood  that  the  Husseys 
hailed  from  Normandy,  as  will  be  seen  a  few  pages  on,  but 
tradition  on  such  a  point  is  not  of  much  value. 

Anyway  the  family  of  Hussey  settled  in  very  early  times 
at  Dingle,  and  also  had  several  lands  and  castles  in  the  barony 
of  Corkaquiny. 

Dingle  was  the  only  town  in  this  barony,  and  it  was  incor- 
porated by  Queen  Elizabeth  in  1585,  when  she  granted  it  the 
same  privileges  which  were  enjoyed  by  Drogheda,  with  a 
superiority  over  the  harbours  of  Ventry  and  Smerwick.  The 
Virgin  Sovereign  also  presented  the  town  with  ^^300  for  the 
purpose  of  making  a  wall  round  it. 

The  Irish  formerly  called  Dingle  Daingean  in  Cushy,  or 
the  fastness  of  the  Husseys.  One  of  the  FitzGeralds,  Earl  of 
Desmond,  had  granted  to  an  ancestor  of  my  own  a  con- 
siderable tract  of  land  in  these  parts,  namely,  from  Castle- 
Drum  to  Dingle,  or  as  others  say,  he  gave  him  as  much  as 
he  could  walk  over  in  his  jackboots  in  one  day.  That  Hussey 
built  a  castle,  said  to  be  the  first  erected  at  Dingle,  the  vaults 
of  which  were  afterwards  used  as  the  county  gaol. 

There  is  mention  of  this  in  the  grant  of  a  charter  to  Dingle 


ANCESTRY  3 

by  King  James  i.  in  the  fourth  year  of  his  reign  :  '  The  house 
of  John  Hussey  granted  for  a  gaol  and  common  hall  to  the 
corporation.' 

A  grim  interest  lurks  in  the  fact  that  the  dedication  of 
Smith's  History  to  Lord  Newport,  Lord  Chancellor  of  Ireland, 
recites  that  '  this  Kingdom,  my  lord,  is  a  kind  of  Terra 
Incognita  to  the  greater  part  of  Europe,' 

Is  it  not  so  to  this  day  ? 

Do  I  not  meet  scores  of  people  who  tell  me  they  would 
love  to  go  to  Kerry,  but  they  have  never  been  nearer  than 
Killarney. 

That  is  the  sort  of  speech  which  makes  me  wonder  how 
geography  is  taught. 

It  is  on  a  par  with  the  remark  of  a  prominent  Arctic 
explorer,  that  he  had  never  been  to  Killarney  because  it  was 
so  far  off. 

People,  however,  who  go  there  apparently  like  it. 

The  chief  Elizabethan  settlers  in  Kerry  were  William  and 
Charles  Herbert,  Valentine  Brown,  ancester  of  the  Kenmares, 
Edmund  Denny,  and  Captain  Conway,  whose  daughter  Avis 
rnarried  Robert  Blennerhasset,  while  a  little  later,  in  1600, 
John  Crosbie  was  made  Bishop  of  Ardfert  and  Aghadoe. 

To-day  the  descendants  of  those  settlers  are  still  among 
the  principal  folk  in  Kerry,  though  that  is  more  due  to 
their  own  selves  than  to  the  support  they  had  from  any 
British  Government. 

This  Valentine  Brown,  who  was  a  worshipful  and  valiant 
knight,  wrote  a  discourse  for  settling  Munster  in  1584.  His 
plan  was  to  exterminate  the  FitzGeralds  and  to  protestantise 
Ireland ;  but  by  the  irony  of  fate  his  own  son  married  a 
daughter  of  the  Earl  of  Desmond  and  became  a  Roman 
Catholic. 


4     REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

In  the  Carew  Manuscript  it  is  recorded  that  he  estimated 
that  one  constable  and  six  men  would  suffice  for  Cork,  but 
for  Ventry,  '  a  large  harbour  near  Dingle,'  one  constable 
and  fifty  men  were  necessary  ;  so  he  evidently  had  a  clear 
apprehension  of  the  villainous  capabilities  of  the  men  of 
Kerry. 

It  is  also  recorded  that  in  the  parish  of  Killiney  is  a  strong- 
hold called  Castle  Gregory,  which  before  the  wars  of  1641 
was  possessed  by  Walter  Hussey,  who  was  proprietor  of  the 
Magheries  and  Ballybeggan.  Having  a  considerable  party 
under  his  command,  he  made  a  garrison  of  his  castle,  whence 
having  been  long  pressed  by  Cromwell's  forces,  he  escaped  in 
the  night  with  all  his  men,  and  got  into  Minard  Castle,  in 
which  he  was  closely  beset  by  Colonels  Lehunt  and  Sadler. 
After  some  time  had  been  spent,  the  English  observing  that 
the  besieged  were  making  use  of  pewter  bullets,  powder  was 
laid  under  the  vaults  of  the  castle,  and  both  Walter  Hussey 
and  his  men  were  blown  up. 

Prior  to  this,  'on  January  31,  1641,  Walter  Hussey,  with 
Florence  MacCarthy  and  others,  attacked  Ballybeggan  Castle, 
plundered  and  burnt  the  house  of  Mr.  Henry  Huddleston, 
and  did  the  same  to  the  house  and  haggards  of  Mr.  Hore, 
where  they  built  an  engine  called  a  saw,  having  its  three  sides 
made  musket-proof  with  boards.  It  was  drawn  on  four  wheels, 
each  a  foot  high,  with  folding  doors  to  open  inwards  and 
several  loopholes  to  shoot  through,  without  a  floor,  so  that 
ten  or  twelve  men  who  went  therein  might  drive  it  forwards. 
These  machines  were  set  against  castle  walls  whilst  the  men 
within  them  attempted  to  make  a  breach  with  crows  and 
pickaxes.' 

Infernal  machines  are,  after  all,  not  confined  to  our  own 
times,  and  this  same  rascally  ancestor  of  my  own  appears  to 


ANCESTRY  5 

have  had  predatory  habits  more  likely  to  be  appreciated  by  his 
followers  than  by  his  foes. 

Dingle  is  now  a  somewhat  dilapidated  town,  but  that  was 
not  always  the  case,  for  it  is  mentioned  in  my  dear  old  friend 
Froude's  History  of  England  that  the  then  Earl  of  Desmond 
called  on  the  ambassador  of  Charles  v.  at  his  lodgings  in 
Dingle.  The  old  records  of  the  place  would  be  worth 
diligent  antiquarian  research,  a  matter  even  more  difficult  in 
Ireland  than  elsewhere.  Should  all  be  brought  to  light,  I 
fancy  the  part  played  by  my  family  would  not  grow  smaller. 

The  Husseys  spread  away  over  the  county,  after  having 
their  lands  forfeited  under  both  Elizabeth  and  Cromwell, 
which  was  the  most  respectable  thing  to  suffer  in  those  times. 
In  the  reign  of  Queen  Anne,  Colonel  Maurice  Hussey  sold 
Cahirnane  to  the  Herberts,  and  there  is  a  garden  still  called 
Hussey's  Garden  in  the  property.  He  built  a  mortuary 
chapel  for  himself  on  the  top  of  a  small  hill  just  outside  the 
gates  of  Muckross,  where  his  own  grave  near  that  beautiful 
abbey  can  be  seen  to  this  day. 

This  Colonel  Maurice  Hussey  resided  for  some  time  in 
England,  and  appears  to  have  married  an  English  lady ;  and  it 
is  odd  that  though  a  Roman  Catholic  he  was  trusted  by  the 
Governments  of  both  William  and  Anne.  There  seems  to 
have  been  something  versatile  about  his  rather  mysterious 
career,  the  key  to  which  may  be  found  in  the  surmise  that 
until  the  accession  of  King  George  he  was  a  Jacobite  at  heart ; 
which  throwo  some  doubt  on  his  assertion  in  a  letter  that  there 
are  very  few  Tories — or  outlaws — in  Kerry,  where  the  Whig 
rule  was  never  enforced  with  great  severity.  He  was,  how- 
ever, committed  to  'Trally  jail'  {i.e.  Tralee)  on  the  fear  of  a 
landing  by  the  Pretender,  whence  he  wrote  pleading  letters,  in 
one  of  which  he  mentions  that  his  son-in-law,  MacCartie,  has 


6     REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

taken  the  oaths  of  abjuration  ;  and  later,  when  released,  he 
seems  to  have  been  disturbed  at  the  large  number  of  German 
Protestants,  driven  out  of  the  Palatinate  by  Louis  the  Four- 
teenth, who  settled  at  Bally  M'EUigott. 

Any  one  who  rambles  about  Dingle  and  investigates  the 
older  buildings,  so  carefully  examined  by  Mr,  Hitchcock, 
will  notice  how  frequent  is  the  emblem  of  a  tree  ;  and  that  is 
a  conspicuous  feature  of  the  Hussey  armorial  bearings. 

With  reference  to  the  allusions  made  in  Smith's  book  to 
my  ancestors,  it  may  be  pointed  out  that  he  repeated  the 
popular  tradition  at  the  very  time  when  the  Husseys,  like  the 
rest  of  their  fellow  Catholics  all  over  the  country,  were  dis- 
inherited and  depressed,  and  when  he  could  gain  nothing  by 
doing  them  honour. 

As  for  my  name,  it  seems  to  have  really  been  Norman, 
and  to  have  been  De  La  Huse,  De  La  Hoese,  and  later 
Husee,  Huse,  and,  finally,  Hussey. 

Burke  in  his  extinct  Peerage  states  that  Sir  Hugh  Husse 
came  to  Ireland,  17  Hen.  11.,  and  married  the  sister  of 
Theobald  Fitz Walter,  first  Butler  of  Ireland,  and  that  he  died 
seized  of  large  possessions  in  Meath.  His  son  married  the 
daughter  of  Hugh  de  Lacy,  senior  Earl  of  Ulster,  and  their 
great-grandson,  Sir  John  Hussey,  Knight,  first  Earl  of  Galtrim, 
was  summoned  to  Parliament  in  1374. 

Moreover,  the  State  Papers  in  the  Public  Record  Office, 
quoted  in  the  Journal  of  the  Royal  Society  of  Irish  Antiquaries  for 
September  1 893,  p.  266,  prove  beyond  question  that  Nicholas  de 
Huse  or  Hussy  and  his  father,  Herbert  de  Huse,  were  land- 
owners of  some  importance  in  Kerry  in  1 307.  Stirring  times  they 
must  have  been,  of  which  we  have  no  fiction  under  the  guise  of 
history,  though  then  men  had  to  fight  hard  to  preserve  their 
lives  and  maintain  their  dignity.     We  can  imagine  the  tussle. 


ANCESTRY  7 

even  in  these  degenerate  days  when  no  challenge  follows  the 
exchange  of  insults,  even  in  the  House  of  Commons,  and  when 
the  perpetration  of  the  most  cowardly  outrage  in  Ireland  has 
to  be  induced  by  preliminary  potations  of  whisky.  Of  course, 
those  old  times  were  bad  times,  but  the  badness  was  at  least 
above  board  and  the  warfare  pretty  stoutly  waged.  There  is 
some  sense  in  fighting  your  foe  hand  to  hand,  but  to-day  when 
a  battle  is  contested  by  armies  which  never  see  one  another, 
and  are  decimated  by  silent  bullets,  the  courage  needed  is  of  a 
different  character,  and  the  wicked  murder  of  such  combats  is 
obvious. 

But  let  us  quit  war  and  confiscation  for  the  equally  stormy 
region  known  as  politics,  wherein  it  may  be  noted  that  in  16 13 
Michael  Hussey  was  Member  of  Parliament  for  Dingle. 

Now  for  a  coincidence  in  Christian  names. 

Only  two  Husseys  forfeited  in  the  Desmond  Rebellion, 
and  they  were  John  and  Maurice. 

In  the  Irish  Parliament  of  James  11.,  when  Kerry  returned 
eight  members,  two  of  them  were  Husseys,  and  their  names 
were  John  and  Maurice. 

My  grandfather's  name  was  John,  and  his  father  before 
him  was  Maurice,  and  I  christened  my  two  surviving  sons 
John  and  Maurice. 

We  do  not  go  in  for  much  variety  of  nomenclature  in  our 
family. 

My  grandfather,  John  Hussey,  lived  at  Dingle,  his  mother 
being  a  member  of  the  well-known  Galway  family  of  Bodkin. 
He  was  an  offshoot  of  the  Walter  Hussey  who  had  been 
converted  into  an  animated  projectile  by  the  underground 
machinations  of  Cromwell's  colonels.  He  was  a  very  little 
man,  who  had  a  landed  property  at  Dingle,  did  nothing  in 
particular,  and    received  the  usual  pompous   eulogy  on    his 


8     REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

tombstone.  I  never  heard  that  he  left  any  papers  or  diaries, 
and  I  do  not  think  that  he  ever  went  out  of  Kerry — he  had 
too  much  sense. 

A  rather  diverting  story  in  which  his  sister  was  the  heroine 
may  be  worth  telHng,  if  only  because  it  was  so  characteristic 
of  the  period. 

In  those  days,  as  now,  Husseys  and  Dennys  were  closely 
associated,  and  both  my  great-aunt  and  Miss  Denny,  known 
locally  as  the  '  Princess  Royal,'  were  going  to  a  ball.  At  that 
time  it  was  the  fashion  for  the  girls  of  the  period  to  wear 
muslin  skirts  edged  with  black  velvet.  The  muslin  was  easily 
procured  ;  not  so  the  velvet,  which  was  eventually  obtained 
by  sacrificing  an  ancient  pair  of  nether  garments  belonging 
to  my  great-grandfather. 

After  the  early  dinner  then  fashionable,  each  of  the  damsels 
was  departing  for  the  Castle,  with  a  swain  at  the  door  of  her 
sedan-chair,  when  our  kinswoman.  Lady  Donoughmore,  who 
was  on  the  door-step  watching  them  off,  enthusiastically 
shouted  : — 

*  Success  to  the  breeches  !     Success  to  the  breeches  ! ' 

Imagine  the  horrified  confusion  of  the  poor  'Princess  Royal,' 
not  then  eighteen. 

This  episode  reminds  me  of  the  modern  Scottish  story  of  a 
tiresome  small  boy  who  wanted  more  cake  at  a  tea-party,  and 
threatened  his  parents  with  dire  revelations  if  they  did  not 
comply  with  his  demands.  As  they  showed  no  signs  of 
intimidation,  he  banged  on  the  table  to  obtain  attention,  and 
then  announced  : — 

'  Ma  new  breeks  are  made  out  of  the  winter  curtains.' 

An  incident  connected  with  one  of  the  earliest  private 
carriages  in  Kerry  is  worth  telling.  The  vehicle  in  question 
had  just  been  purchased  by  a  certain  Miss  Mullins,  daughter 


ANCESTRY  9 

of  a  former  Lord  Ventry,  who  regarded  it  on  its  arrival  with 
almost  sacred  awe.  A  dance  in  the  neighbourhood  seemed  an 
appropriate  opportunity  for  impressing  the  county  with  her 
newly  acquired  grandeur,  but  the  night  proving  wet,  she 
insisted  on  reverting  to  a  former  mode  of  progression,  and 
rode  pillion  behind  her  coachman. 

The  result  was  that  she  caught  a  violent  chill,  which 
turned  to  pneumonia,  and  as  her  relatives  were  assembled 
round  her  deathbed,  the  old  lady  exclaimed,  between  her  last 
gasps  for  breath  : — 

'  Thank  God  I  never  took  out  the  carriage  that  wet  night.' 


CHAPTER  II 

PARENTAGE  AND  EARLY  YEARS 

My  father,  Peter  Bodkin  Hussey,  was  for  a  long  time  a 
barrister  at  the  Irish  Bar,  practising  in  the  Four  Courts,  where 
more  untruths  are  spoken  than  anywhere  else  in  the  three 
kingdoms,  except  in  the  House  of  Commons  during  an  Irish 
debate.  All  law  in  Ireland  is  a  grave  temptation  to  lying,  and 
the  greatest  number  of  Courts  produced  a  stupendous  amount 
of  mendacity — or  it  was  so  in  earlier  times,  at  all  events. 

Did  you  ever  hear  the  tale  of  the  old  woman  who  came  to 
Daniel  O'Connell,  outside  the  Four  Courts,  as  he  was  walking 
down  the  steps,  and  said  to  him  : — 

'  Would  your  honour  be  so  kind  as  to  tell  me  the  name  of 
an  honest  attorney  ? ' 

The  Liberator  stopped,  scratched  his  head  in  a  perplexed 
way,  and  replied  : — 

'  Well  now,  ma'am,  you  bate  me  intoirely.' 

My  father  had  red  hair,  and  was  very  impetuous.  There- 
fore he  was  christened  '  Red  Precipitate '  by  Jerry  Kellegher. 

This  legal  luminary  was  a  noted  wit  even  at  the  Irish  Bar 
of  that  time,  a  confraternity  where  humour  was  almost  as 
rampant  as  creditors — irresponsible  fun,  and  a  light  purse  are 
generally  allied ;  your  wealthy  fellow  has  too  much  care  for 
his  gold  to  have  spirits  to  be  mirthful. 

The  tales  about  him  are  endless.  Here  are  just  a  few  I 
have  heard  from  my  father's  lips. 

10 


PARENTAGE  AND  EARLY  YEARS     ii 

Jerry  had  a  cousin,  a  wine  merchant,  who  supplied  the 
Bar  mess,  and  a  complaint  was  lodged  that  the  bottles  were 
very  small. 

To  which  Jerry  retorted  : — 

'  You  idiot,  don't  you  know  they  shrink  in  the  washing,' 
which  satisfied  the  grumbler.  And  that  always  seemed  to  me 
the  strangest  part  of  the  story. 

In  those  days  religious  feeling  ran  pretty  high — I  will  not 
go  so  far  as  to  say  it  has  entirely  died  down  to-day — and  the 
usual  Protestant  toast  was  : — 

'  The  Pope,  the  Devil,  and  the  Pretender.' 

Now,  Jerry  was  a  Roman  Catholic,  none  the  less  earnest 
because  he  had  a  merry  way  with  him.  On  a  certain  Friday 
he  was  seen  to  be  fasting  by  a  very  foppish  barrister,  who 
thought  a  great  deal  of  himself. 

He  remarked  to  Jerry,  with  unnecessary  impertinence  : — 

'  Sir,  it  appears  you  have  some  of  the  Pope  in  your 
stomach.' 

To  which  Jerry,  quick  as  a  pistol-shot,  retorted  : — 

'  And  you  have  the  whole  of  the  Pretender  in  your  head,' 
after  which  there  was  the  devil  to  pay. 

There  was  a  certain  Chancellor  in  Ireland  who  was  born  a 
few  years  after  his  father  and  mother  had  separated.  As  he 
did  not  like  Jerry,  he  used  to  make  a  great  fuss  about  how  he 
should  pronounce  his  name.  At  last  in  Court  one  day  he 
burst  out : — 

'  Pray  tell  me  what  you  wish  me  to  call  you  —  Mr. 
Kellegher,  or  Mr.  Kellaire  ? ' 

'  Call  me  anything  you  like,  my  lud,  so  long  as  you  call 
me  born  in  wedlock.' 

The  Chancellor  did  not  score  that  time. 

At  one  time  there  were  grave  complaints  made  about  the 


12    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

light-hearted  way  in  which  Jerry  handled  his  cases,  and  his 
practice  fell  off.  He  was  conversing  with  a  very  stupid 
judge,  lately  elevated  to  the  Bench,  and  observed  : — 

'  It 's  a  very  extraordinary  world  :  you  have  risen  by  your 
gravity,  and  I  have  fallen  by  my  levity.' 

He  had  a  son  who,  in  my  time,  had  a  large  practice  at  the 
Bar,  but  I  never  came  across  him,  nor  did  I  ever  hear  that 
there  was  anything  remarkable  about  him,  except  that  he  was 
not  so  witty  as  his  father,  which  was  not  wonderful. 

After  all,  as  Jerry  was  before  my  own  experience,  I  must 
not  delay  over  him,  so  I  will  only  give  one  more  tale  about 
him,  and  pass  on. 

When  Lord  Avonmore  got  his  peerage  for  voting  for  the 
Union,  he  had  his  patent  of  nobility  read  out  at  a  dinner-party, 
and  it  commenced,  '  George,  of  the  United  Kingdom  of  Great 
Britain  and  Ireland.' 

'  Stop,'  cried  Jerry,  '  I  object  to  that.  The  consideration 
is  set  out  too  early  in  the  deed.' 

This  long  digression  over,  I  revert  to  my  father  about 
whose  respectable  practice  at  the  Four  Courts  I  know  nothing 
except  that  he  allowed  others  to  become  judges,  and  did  not 
find  solicitors  putting  his  services  up  to  auction. 

By  the  death  of  his  elder  brother,  he  succeeded  to  a  pro- 
perty, near  Dingle,  on  which  he  went  to  live  and  then  got 
married,  which  was  the  wisest  thing  that  he  could  do. 

My  mother  was  Mary  Hickson,  and  her  descent  was  this 
wise. 

The  Murrays  were  said  to  have  come  to  Scotland  from 
Moravia  in  the  first  century  ;  and  a  pretty  bulky  history  of 
the  clan  reveals  as  much  truth  about  them  as  the  author  cared 
to  put  in  when  tired  of  inventing  less  probable  facts.  Sir 
Walter  Murray,  Lord  of  Drumshegrat,  came  to  Ireland  with 


PARENTAGE  AND  EARLY  YEARS     13 

Edward  de  Bruce  and  was  killed  in  battle,  leaving  three  sons, 
one  of  whom,  christened  Andrew,  settled  in  County  Down. 
Some  of  his  descendants  migrated  to  Bantry,  where,  in  1670, 
William  Murray  married  Ann  Hornswell,  and  was  succeeded 
by  his  third  son  George,  who  was  in  turn  succeeded  by  his 
eldest  son  William,  who  married  Anne  Grainger.  Of  the 
marriage,  there  was  only  one  daughter  Judith,  who  married 
Robert  Hickson,  heir  to  the  property. 

They  had  five  sons  and  two  daughters,  the  younger  of 
whom  married  Sir  William  Cox,  and  the  elder  my  father. 

The  superior  of  my  dear  mother  never  drew  the  breath 
of  life.  She  lived  until  I  was  twenty-five,  and  I  never  met 
any  man  who  could  say  more  than  I  could  for  my  mother, 
though  equalled  by  what  my  own  sons  could  say  of  theirs,  and 
she  too  came  of  the  same  stock,  for  I  married  my  first  cousin, 
Julia  Agnes  Hickson.  It  is  said  no  man  is  thoroughly  happy 
until  he  is  suitably  married,  an  opinion  I  absolutely  endorse  ; 
but  happiness  so  great  as  my  married  life  is  not  of  public 
interest,  and  if  it  were,  I  should  not  wear  my  heart  on  my 
sleeve  for  general  inspection.  Any  tribute  from  me  to  my 
dear  wife  would  be  superfluous  ;  the  devoted  love  of  our 
children  has  been  the  endorsement  by  the  next  generation 
of  the  feelings  which  I  have  always  felt  towards  her. 

She  was  the  daughter  of  my  mother's  eldest  brother,  John 
Hickson,  called  the  Sovereign  of  Dingle.  He  had  powers  to 
collect  customs,  to  hold  a  court,  and  to  try  cases  in  much  the 
same  way  that  a  lord  provost  had. 

On  one  occasion  when  a  case  was  to  be  tried,  two  attorneys 
appeared  from  the  town  of  Tralee,  about  thirty  miles  off. 
Now  John  Hickson  had  his  own  ideas  about  the  attorneys  of 
those  days — ideas  such  as  all  honest  men  had,  but  dared  not 
express.     So  he  sent  a   crier  through  the  town   to  say  that 


14    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

the  court  was  adjourned  for  a  fortnight.  When  the  appointed 
day  arrived,  the  attorneys  arrived  also,  so  again  the  melodious 
tones  of  the  crier  proclaimed  through  the  town  that  the  court 
was  adjourned  for  yet  another  fortnight,  Captain  Hickson 
remarking  to  his  wife  that  he  was  not  going  to  be  helped 
to  administer  justice  by  those  who  earned  their  living  on 
injustice.  The  attorneys  gave  it  up  in  despair,  leaving  Captain 
Hickson  to  lay  down  the  law  as  he  liked,  and  to  do  him 
justice,  his  ideas  were  more  conducive  to  peace  and  order  than 
the  arguments  of  Irish  attorneys  generally  are. 

He  was  loved  and  revered  by  the  people,  so  that  when  the 
cholera  raged  in  1833  and  1834,  and  the  constabulary  were 
ordered  to  go  into  the  houses  to  remove  the  corpses  (this 
to  prevent  the  people  '  waking '  the  dead,  and  so  spreading 
the  contagion),  they  dared  not  enter  the  cabins  unless  Captain 
Hickson  went  with  them,  as  the  people  were  so  enraged  at 
their  dead  being  molested  that  they  would  have  killed  the 
police.  Fortunately  Captain  Hickson  had  enough  moral 
influence  to  make  the  people  obey  the  law. 

In  the  eighties  he  would  have  been  shot  in  the  back  by 
some  scoundrel  who  had  primed  himself  with  Dutch  courage 
from  adulterated  whisky. 

He  raised  a  Yeomanry  Corps  at  the  time  of  the  Whiteboys 
to  guard  the  country  against  these  lawless  bands,  and  against 
the  dreaded  French  invasion.  This  regiment  was  called  the 
Dingle  Yeomanry,  and  the  tales  about  it  are  many. 

On  one  occasion  when  Captain  Hickson  was  in  London, 
the  general  from  Dublin  inspected  the  corps.  In  the  absence 
of  the  commanding  officer,  his  brother  was  ordered  to  parade 
the  battalion,  and  being  a  nervous  young  man,  he  completely 
forgot  all  the  words  of  command,  so  to  the  unconcealed 
amusement  of  the  old  martinet  from  the  capital,  he  shouted  : — 


PARENTAGE  AND  EARLY  YEARS     15 

'  Boys,  do  as  you  always  do.' 

It  says  well  for  the  discipline  of  the  regiment  that  they  did 
not  implicitly  obey  the  order. 

His  mother,  this  Mrs.  Judith  Hickson,  was  the  only  one 
of  my  grand-parents  I  ever  saw,  and  very  little  impression  she 
has  left  on  my  memory,  except  a  notion  that  she  had  less 
sense  of  humour  than  pertains  to  most  Irishwomen  by  the 
blessing  of  God  and  their  own  mother  wit. 

My  father  was  a  Roman  Catholic,  and  my  mother 
a  Protestant.  By  the  terms  of  the  marriage  settlement, 
we  were  all  brought  up  in  her  faith,  which  occasioned  a 
tremendous  row  at  that  time,  and  nowadays  would  never 
be  tolerated  by  the  priests. 

All  the  same  my  father  was  an  obstinate  man,  not  dis- 
posed to  care  much  for  the  whole  College  of  Cardinals,  and 
indifferent  if  he  were  cursed  with  bell  and  book.  Of  course 
he  was  not  a  good-tempered  man,  or  he  would  not  have 
justified  his  nickname  of  Red  Precipitate,  but  he  spared  the 
rod  with  me,  and  failed  to  keep  me  in  order.  I  was  the 
youngest  of  a  pretty  large  family  and  the  pet  into  the 
bargain. 

My  eldest  brother,  John,  was  drowned  at  St.  Malo.  He 
was  unmarried,  and  his  profession  was  to  do  nothing  as 
handsomely  as  he  could. 

James  was  in  the  13  th  Light  Dragoons,  and  subsequently 
in  the  nth.  He  saw  no  service,  and  was  an  excellent  soldier 
at  mess  and  off  duty.  I  am  not  qualified  to  speak  with 
authority  about  his  fulfilment  of  the  trumpery  trivialities 
which  fill  up  garrison  life,  but  here  is  one  anecdote  about 
him. 

Soon  after  Lord  Cardigan  took  command  of  the  13th 
Light  Dragoons,  a  great  many  of  the  officers  left  the  corps. 


1 6    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

and  a  man  wrote  to  the  papers  to  say  that  this  was  chiefly 
due  to  the  great  expense  of  the  mess. 

My  brother  retorted  in  print  that  for  his  part  the  reason 
was  due  to  its  being  '  incompatible  with  my  feelings  as  a 
gentleman  to  remain  in  the  regiment  as  it  is  equally  impossible 
to  exchange  out  of  a  regiment  that  has  the  undeserved  mis- 
fortune to  be  commanded  by  his  lordship.' 

Edward  lived  at  Dingle,  and  was  much  liked  by  the  people 
there.  He  was  an  active  magistrate  and  a  conscientious  man. 
He  married  and  left  two  sons,  one  in  the  Horse  Artillery 
and  the  other  a  colonel  in  the  Engineers.  They  have  all 
joined  the  great  majority. 

Robert,  who  chose  to  be  an  army  surgeon,  died  in  India, 
leaving  me  without  a  relation  in  the  world  of  my  own 
name. 

It  reminds  me  of  the  story  in  Charles  O'Malley  about  the 
old  family  in  which  it  was  hereditary  not  to  have  any  children. 
However,  I  altered  that  by  having  eleven  of  my  own,  two 
sons,  John  and  Maurice,  and  four  daughters  being  alive,  at  the 
present  time.  More  power  to  them  say  I,  in  the  current 
phrase  of  good-will  in  Kerry. 

My  sister  Mary  died  at  Bath  when  I  was  born.  It  was 
her  health  which  prevented  me  from  being  by  birth  what  I 
am  at  heart,  a  Kerry  man. 

Ellen  was  married  to  Robert,  elder  brother  of  the  late 
Knight  of  Kerry,  and  her  grand-daughter  is  married  to 
Colonel  Thorneycroft  of  Spion  Kop  fame. 

Ellen's  sister,  Julia,  married  Sir  Peter  FitzGerald,  Knight 
of  Kerry.  The  two  therefore  married  brothers,  and  if  there 
had  been  any  more  they  might  have  done  the  same. 

I  suppose  I  ought  to  give  the  date  of  my  birth,  but  despite 
all  the  efforts  of  those  in  Ireland,  who  loved  me  so  much  that 


PARENTAGE  AND  EARLY  YEARS     17 

they  became  active  agents  to  convey  me  to  heaven,  I  cannot 
yet  give  you  the  date  of  my  death. 

My  friend,  Mr.  Townshend  Trench,  is,  I  believe,  writing  a 
book  to  prove  the  world  will  come  to  an  end  in  about  thirty 
years'  time,  but  that  will  see  me  out,  and  those  then  alive  may 
discover  that  the  Great  Landlord  has  given  the  tenants  an 
extension  of  the  lease  of  the  earth. 

I  was  born  on  December  17,  1824,  and  I  have  none  of 
those  infantile  recollections  which  are  such  an  insult  on  the 
general  attention  when  put  in  print. 

Still  my  earliest  memory  is  so  characteristic  of  much  that 
was  to  follow  that  I  set  it  down. 

The  very  first  thing  I  remember  is  being  placed  on  the 
seat  of  a  trap  beside  the  local  R.M.  (Resident  Magistrate), 
and  thus  going  out,  escorted  by  a  party  of  soldiers,  to  collect 
tithes. 

I  clapped  my  hands  with  glee,  but  an  old  woman  by  the 
road-side  said  that  it  was  a  shame  to  take  out  that  innocent 
babe  on  such  bloodthirsty  work. 

I  could  ride  before  I  could  walk,  and  was  always  fond  of 
the  exercise.     What  Irishman  is  not  ^ 

My  taste  for  this  was  fostered  by  my  father,  who  had 
broken  his  leg  when  young,  and  not  only  disliked  walking, 
but  had  a  slight  limp,  which  did  not  prevent  him  being  in  the 
saddle  for  many  hours  each  day. 

As  a  child,  I  led  a  fresh,  natural,  out-of-doors,  healthy 
life,  exposed  to  wind  and  rain,  and  all  the  better  for  both. 
There  are  very  few  trees  about  Dingle,  and  I  quite  agree  with 
the  remark  of  an  American  that  it  was  the  most  open  country 
he  had  ever  seen. 

I  was  always  bathing,  but  I  never  got  drowned,  not  even 
in  liquor,  although  I  have  sat  with  some  of  the  best  in  that 

B 


1 8    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

capacity.  I  have  myself  been  pretty  temperate  in  everything, 
to  which  I  attribute  my  longevity.  And  yet  I  am  not  sure 
that  any  rule  can  be  laid  down  in  this  respect,  for  I  have 
known  men  who  saturated  themselves  in  alcohol  until  they 
ought  to  have  been  kept  out  of  sight  of  all  decent  people  live 
longer  than  those  that  have  kept  straight  in  every  way. 

In  proof  of  this,  let  me  quote  the  delightful  account  of  a 
centagenarian  out  of  Smith's  History  of  Kerry ^  a  book  already 
referred  to,  and  which  can  now  be  finally  put  back  on  its  shelf, 
dry  as  dust,  as  Carlyle  might  say,  '  but  pregnant  with  food  for 
thought,  ay,  and  for  grim  mirth,' — those  are  not  exactly  the 
words  of  the  Sage  of  Chelsea,  but  just  have  the  rub  of  his 
tongue  about  them. 

'Mr.  Daniel  MacCarty  died  in  February  1751,'  as  the 
account  said,  *  in  the  112th  year  of  his  age.  He  lived 
during  his  whole  life  in  the  barony  of  Iveragh,  and  buried 
four  wives.  He  married  a  fifth  in  the  eighty-fourth  year 
of  his  age,  and  she  but  a  girl  of  fourteen,  by  whom  he 
had  several  children.  He  was  always  a  very  healthy  man, 
no  cold  ever  affecting  him,  and  he  could  not  bear  the 
warmth  of  a  shirt  at  night,  but  put  it  under  his  pillow. 
He  drank  for  many  of  the  last  years  of  his  life  great 
quantities  of  rum  and  brandy,  which  he  called  the  naked 
truth ;  and  if,  in  compliance  to  other  gentlemen,  he  drank 
claret  or  punch,  he  always  took  an  equal  quantity  of  spirits 
to  qualify  those  liquors  :  this  he  called  a  wedge.  No  man 
ever  saw  him  spit.  His  custom  was  to  walk  eight  or  ten 
miles  in  a  winter's  morning  over  mountains  with  greyhounds 
and  finders,  and  he  seldom  failed  to  bring  home  a  brace  of 
hares.  He  was  an  innocent  man,  and  inherited  the  social 
virtues  of  the  antient  Milesians.  He  was  of  a  florid  com- 
plexion, looked  amazingly  well  for  a  person  of  his  age  and 


PARENTAGE  AND  EARLY  YEARS     19 

manners  of  life,  for   his   use  of  spirituous   liquors  was  pro- 
digious, a  custom  that  much  prevails  in  these  baronies.' 

Indeed,  no  one  who  was  slightly  acquainted  with  the 
characteristics  of  the  inhabitants  of  the  Kingdom  of  Kerry 
would  suggest  that  total  abstinence  was  even  to-day  their 
predominant  virtue. 

It  is  the  fashion  to  say  that  it  is  a  good  thing  to  be  one 
of  a  large  family.  From  a  financial  point  of  view  I  am  quite 
certain  that  the  reverse  is  preferable,  and  as  1  was  the  youngest 
of  nine — two  others  besides  those  I  mentioned,  James  and 
Anne,  coming  to  early  demises — I  received  as  many  kicks 
and  cuffs  from  my  brethren  as  I  did  halfpence  and  affection 
from  my  parents.  So,  like  Thackeray,  as  a  child  I  sympathised 
with  Lord  MacTurk  who  wished  to  cut  off  the  heads  of  his 
brethren.  Now  I  have  survived  them  all,  and  I  fondly  regret 
the  sounds  of  voices  that  are  still. 

But  as  I  sit  in  my  arm-chair  and  ruminate  over  the  past, 
which  every  old  man  must  do  in  the  intervals  of  reading 
the  Times,  going  to  the  club,  or  losing  his  money  by  careful 
attention  to  speculation,  I  have  the  consolation  of  remem- 
bering that  I  did  as  much  mischief  as  any  other  child.  To 
be  a  really  good  child  means  that  the  animal  is  a  prig  or 
unhealthy.  To-day  I  am  fond  of  all  my  grandchildren,  but 
the  one  1  like  best  is  the  one  which  proves  himself  or  herself 
the  naughtiest  for  the  moment. 

This  is  a  hard  saying  for  parents,  and  not  a  good  precept 
for  the  young,  but  there  is  soHd  truth  in  it  and  a  bit  of 
common-sense  too,  for  it  is  best  to  get  the  original  sin  out 
in  the  years  of  innocence. 


CHAPTER   III 


EDUCATION 


Perhaps  the  biggest  wrench  in  life  is  going  to  school.  It 
may  not  seem  so  very  much  afterwards — as  the  boy  said  of 
the  tooth  when  he  looked  at  it  in  the  dentist's  forceps — but 
the  wrench  is  really  bad. 

I  learned  my  letters  from  my  mother,  and  picked  up  a 
few  other  smatterings  before  I  had  daily  lessons  from  a  tutor 
at  Dingle.  Strange  to  say,  a  very  good  classical  education 
could  have  been  obtained  there  in  the  thirties,  better,  so  far 
as  I  can  estimate,  than  could  have  been  expected  from  a  town 
double  the  size  at  the  same  period  in  England. 

At  the  age  of  ten  I  was  sent  to  Huddard's,  then  a  very 
sound  school  in  Dublin.  I  was  well  enough  taught,  not  caned 
enough  for  my  deserts,  though  more  than  sufficed  for  my 
feelings,  and  sufficiently  fed,  but  at  the  end  of  two  years 
I  had  to  leave  owing  to  ill  health. 

An  apothecary,  who  selfishly  recollected  that  the  more 
medicines  I  took  the  better  for  him  if  not  for  me,  converted 
me  into  a  human  receptacle  for  his  empirical  abominations, 
but  another  surgeon,  who  was  rather  tardily  called  in,  packed 
me  off  to  the  country. 

One  of  the  leading  Dublin  physicians  certified  that  I  had 
only  one  lung ;  but  as  the  other  has  served  me  faithfully  for 
sixty-nine  years,  I  am  rather  sceptical  as  to  the  accuracy  of 
his  diagnosis. 


20 


EDUCATION  21 

I  remember  very  little  about  Huddard's,  except  that  it  was 
in  Mountjoy  Square,  and  about  a  hundred  boys  were  herded 
there  in  unsought  proximity.  We  boarders  always  fought 
the  town  boys,  but  also  had  to  cajole  them  in  humiliating 
ways  to  smuggle  us  in  contraband  articles  of  food.  The 
meals  at  Huddard's  were  fairly  good,  no  doubt,  as  school  fare 
goes,  but  the  sugary  stick-jaw  stuff  for  which  the  soul  of 
a  boy  longs  was  naturally  not  part  of  the  official  bill  of  fare. 
The  bullying  was  of  a  reasonable  nature,  or  at  all  events  I 
could  hold  my  own  with  the  best  of  them,  being  indifferent 
to  punishment  so  long  as  I  could  hit  out  effectively  from  the 
shoulder.  One  of  the  ushers,  a  dwarf  of  malignant  disposition, 
was  an  awful  tyrant,  and  we  always  had  an  ardent  desire  to  tar 
and  feather  him,  only  we  did  not  know  how  to  set  about  the 
operation  even  if  we  had  ventured  to  attempt  it. 

After  a  happy  interval  of  convalescence  at  home,  I  was 
sent  to  a  smaller  school  kept  by  Mr.  Hogg  at  Limerick. 
One  of  the  boys  there  subsequently  became  that  illustrious 
ornament  of  the  Bench,  Lord  Justice  Barry. 

He  was  a  very  eloquent  man,  counted  so  even  at  the  Irish 
Bar,  where  a  certain  high-flown  loquacity  is  pretty  prevalent, 
and  had  a  great  repute.  He  arrived  at  Cork  once,  and  had 
to  fight  his  way  through  a  dense  throng  to  get  into  court. 
On  inquiring  the  reason  of  the  crowd,  he  was  told  that  every- 
body wanted  to  hear  the  big  speech  that  was  expected  from 
Councillor  Barry. 

'  Well,  unless  you  make  way  for  me  it 's  disappointed  every 
mother's  son  of  you  will  be,  for  I  am  twin  to  Councillor 
Barry,  and  I  never  heard  tell  he  had  a  brother.' 

He  carried  on  the  old-fashioned  habit  of  after-dinner 
conviviality,  and  used  to  sit  drinking  three  hours  after  the 
wine   had   been   put   on   the   table,  which  was    why   I    never 


22    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

accepted  his  hospitality  in  after  years,  for,  as  I  said  before, 
I  am  a  man  of  moderation. 

In  my  young  days  it  was  the  regular  thing  to  bring  in 
whisky-punch  after  dinner  ;  and  for  many  years  I  regularly 
took  one  tumbler  and  never  had  a  second,  not  once  to  the 
best  of  my  recollection. 

There  is  a  good  deal  of  change  in  the  habits  of  life. 
When  I  was  a  boy  coffee  was  unknown  for  breakfast,  cocoa 
had  not  become  known  as  a  beverage,  and  tea  was  regularly 
drunk.  We  seldom  took  lunch,  nor  did  the  ladies,  and  after- 
noon tea  was  unheard  of.  Instead,  tea  was  brought  into  the 
drawing-room  about  eight  in  the  evening,  and  was  always 
drunk  very  weak  and  sweet.  In  those  times  it  was  invariably 
from  China  and  pretty  costly. 

We  dined  at  five.  Dinners  were  very  solid.  Soup  was  a 
pretty  regular  opening,  but  could  be  dispensed  with  without 
comment,  and  it  was  almost  always  greasy.  At  Dingle  fish 
was  pretty  plentiful,  but  sweets  were  regarded  as  a  great 
extravagance. 

I  remember,  when  grown  up,  dining  with  an  elderly  man 
near  Cahirciveen,  who  had  a  turbot  for  which  he  must  have 
paid  at  least  eight  shillings,  but  he  apologised  for  not  having 
a  pudding  on  account  of  the  necessity  for  economy,  though  a 
pudding  would  not  have  cost  him  eightpence. 

Made  dishes  were  very  few  and  badly  cooked.  The  food 
was  chiefly  joints,  and,  in  nine  cases  out  of  ten,  roast  mutton. 
Vegetables  were  not  so  much  eaten  as  now,  always  excepting 
potatoes,  which  were  consumed  in  large  quantities.  There 
was  practically  no  fruit,  except  a  few  apples  and  oranges  at 
Christmas. 

Men  sat  very  long  over  their  wine.  Sherry  used  to  be 
served  at  dinner  and  often   claret  afterwards,   but   the   great 


EDUCATION  23 

beverage  was  port.  I  am  Inclined  to  think  that  port  has 
sensibly  deteriorated  since  my  young  days.  It  was  as  a 
rule  more  fruity  then,  but  we  never  talked  of  our  livers,  as 
subalterns  and  undergraduates  do  nowadays. 

Port  used  to  come  direct  to  Dingle.  It  was  an  easy 
harbour  '  to  run,'  and  there  was  some  smuggling. 

On  one  occasion  some  soldiers  were  sent  to  protect  the 
gauger,  who  was  bent  on  making  an  important  seizure.  A 
few  of  the  inhabitants  of  Dingle  took  the  opportunity  of 
entertaining  the  officer,  and  whilst  he  slumbered  from  the 
effects  of  their  hospitality,  the  opportunity  for  making  the 
seizure  was  lost. 

There  is  no  particular  reason  why  I  should  tell  the  follow- 
ing story  here,  but  it  is  worth  recording,  and  I  don't  know 
any  other  part  of  my  reminiscences  where  it  is  more  likely  to 
slip  in  appropriately. 

In  Kerry  in  18 15,  the  farmers  had  been  an  extra  long  time 
fattening  up  their  pigs.  After  the  Peace,  prices  all  fell,  and 
though  the  farmers  were  reluctant,  they  had  to  yield  to  cir- 
cumstances. One  day  the  dealers  were  buying  at  extremely 
low  rates  in  Tralee  market,  when  the  postman  brought  the 
news  that  Napoleon  had  escaped  from  Elba. 

Instantly  all  the  farmers  broke  off  their  bargains,  and 
proceeded  to  start  homeward  with  their  swine,  shouting  : — 

'  Hurrah  for  Boney  that  rose  the  pigs.' 

My  mother  often  told  me  of  this  scene,  which  she  herself 
witnessed. 

There  was  always  a  distinct  sympathy  with  France,  owing 
to  the  smuggling  from  that  land,  and  after  the  English  had 
prohibited  the  exportation  of  wool,  it  was  smuggled  into 
France,  whence  were  brought  back  silks  and  brandy. 

The  geography  of  Kerry  is  ideal  for  landing  contraband 


24   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

store,  and  I  should  say  even  more  was  done  in  this  respect 
locally  than  on  the  coast  of  Scotland. 

There  is  a  certain  amount  of  good-will  between  people 
whose  mutual  interests  are  similar  until  they  fall  out,  and 
the  hope  of  a  French  landing  in  Ireland,  though  never 
very  serious,  always  fanned  the  native  disaffection  to  the 
Government  in  the  West. 

The  veracity  of  an  Irishman  is  never  considerable,  for  as 
a  rule  he  will  say  what  he  thinks  likely  to  please  you  rather 
than  state  any  unpleasant  fact.  Of  course  the  gauger — excise 
officer — was  an  especially  unpopular  personage,  and  I  doubt 
if  a  tithe  of  the  lies  told  to  him  were  ever  considered  worthy 
of  being  confessed  at  all. 

O'Connell's  family  made  much  money  by  smuggling, 
which  was  a  pursuit  that  carried  not  the  slightest  moral 
reproach.  Indeed  '  to  go  agin  the  Government '  in  any  sort 
of  way  has  always  been  an  act  of  super-excellence. 

The  most  lucrative  side  of  the  commercial  enterprises  of 
Morgan  O'Connell  was  his  trade  in  contraband  goods.  In 
Derrynane  Bay,  he  and  his  brother  landed  cargoes  which 
were  sent  over  the  hills  on  horses'  backs  to  receivers  in 
Tralee. 

Of  O'Connell  himself  most  stories  have  been  told,  but 
it  is  difficult  to  indicate  the  enormous  influence  he  had  over 
the  lower  classes  in  his  own  country. 

Years  before  George  iv.  had  aptly  expressed  the  situation 
amid  his  maudlin  tears  over  Catholic  emancipation. 

'  Wellington  is  King  of  England,  O'Connell  is  King  of 
Ireland,  and  I  suppose  I  'm  only  considered  Dean  of  Windsor.' 

As  an  advocate,  the  Liberator  had  many  of  the  attributes 
of  Kenealy,  and  his  popularity  was  so  great  that  he  was  often 
briefed  in  every  case  at  an  assize. 


EDUCATION  25 

There  is  no  doubt  that  he  bullied  judges,  was  allowed 
enormous  laxity  in  browbeating  opposing  counsel  and  wit- 
nesses, and,  like  Father  O'Flynn,  had  a  wonderful  way  with 
him,  so  far  as  the  jury  was  concerned. 

When  I  saw  him  in  Dublin,  I  at  once  realised  how  true 
must  be  the  bulk  of  the  stories  of  his  great  conceit.  He  has 
been  elevated  into  a  superhuman  being  by  the  posthumous 
praise  of  hundreds  of  blatant  mob  orators. 

Dan  had  two  brothers,  John  and  James.  The  latter  was 
the  first  baronet,  and  noted  for  his  witty  sayings. 

He  presided  at  a  dinner  given  for  the  purpose  of  present- 
ing an  address  to  the  manager  of  a  bank.  On  the  toast  of 
the  Army  and  Navy  being  proposed,  the  only  man  who  could 
return  thanks  for  the  former  was  a  solicitor  named  Murphy, 
who  said  that  if  he  were  forced  to  respond  to  the  toast,  it 
clearly  proved  what  a  peaceful  community  they  lived  in, 
adding  : — 

'  It  is  such  a  long  time  since  I  laid  by  the  sash  and  the 
sword,  that  I  have  forgotten  my  drill.' 

'  But  you  have  never  forgotten  the  charge,'  observed  the 
chairman,  who  had  a  long  bill  from  Murphy  in  his  pocket  at 
the  time. 

On  another  occasion,  a  lady  spoke  to  James  about  sub- 
scribing to  the  Roman  Catholic  Cathedral  at  Killarney. 

'  For  my  part,'  she  observed,  '  it 's  little  I  can  do  in  my 
lifetime,  but  I  have  left  all  my  money  for  the  good  of  my 
soul.' 

'  I  believe,  ma'am,'  says  James,  '  you  were  an  original 
shareholder  in  the  Provincial  Bank.  The  shares  are  now 
quoted  at  eighty  and  they  pay  six  per  cent.  That  is  very 
much  like  twenty-one  per  cent,  on  the  original  capital.' 

'  I  am  not  a  clever  man  like  you  at  making  these  calcula- 


26   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

tions,'  replies  the  lady ;  '  I  have  higher  and  holier  things  to 
think  about.' 

*  Don't  say  that  again  to  me,  ma'am,'  says  he.  *  I  put  my 
money  into  farms,  and  I  get  five  per  cent,  from  a  grumbling 
and  unsatisfactory  set  of  tenants.  And  what  are  you  getting  ? 
Twenty-one  per  cent,  in  this  world  and  salvation  in  the  next. 
It 's  the  most  damnable  interest  I  ever  heard  tell  of,  either  in 
this  world  or  any  other.' 

Yet  another  tale  about  him. 

He  had  received  an  unconscionable  bill  of  costs  from  an 
attorney,  and  happening  to  meet  a  Roman  Catholic  bishop  in 
Cork,  he  asked  him  if  an  attorney  could  ever  be  saved. 

'  Why  not .''  Even  an  extortioner  can  be  if  he  make 
ample  restitution  in  his  life-time,  and  dies  fortified  with  the 
rites  of  the  Church.' 

'  May  be  so,  my  lord,'  replied  Sir  James,  '  you  know  more 
about  these  things  than  I  do,  but  if  it  is  as  you  say,  you  are 
taking  a  confounded  amount  of  unnecessary  trouble  about  the 
rest  of  us.' 

The  bishop  was  not  a  bit  disconcerted. 

*  I  am  an  honest  labourer  striving  to  be  worthy  of  my 
hire,'  he  explained. 

And  at  that  Sir  James  left  it,  because  he  said  it  was  not 
respectful  to  ask  too  many  invidious  questions  about  a  man 
who  had  the  making  of  your  soul  at  his  own  will. 

All  this  is  a  digression  from  my  education,  which  was  as 
desultory  as  these  reminiscences. 

After  a  spell  at  Limerick  I  was  again  sent  home  ill,  and 
for  six  months  I  really  had  to  be  treated  as  an  invalid.  I  was 
always  very  fond  of  books,  notably  history,  and  I  think  I  have 
read  pretty  well  every  book  published  upon  the  history  of 
Ireland.     It  was  at  this  time  I  began  teaching  myself  a  bit. 


EDUCATION  27 

and  that  is  the  teaching  which  is  better  than  any  other,  except 
what  one  has  to  learn  against  one's  own  will  and  for  one's  own 
advantage  in  the  school  of  life.  Like  a  good  many  other  people 
I  was  led  to  history  not  only  by  a  shortage  of  lighter  books  at 
home,  but  also  by  curiosity  aroused  by  the  novels  of  Sir  Walter 
Scott.  In  the  way  of  promoting  better  reading,  I  believe 
Scott  has  been  far  more  beneficial  than  any  other  writer  of 
fiction  in  English. 

I  was  for  a  short  time  at  school  in  Exeter,  and  then  at  a 
rather  rough  establishment  at  Woolwich,  where  my  father 
wished  me  to  have  the  tuition  in  mathematics  which  could  be 
obtained  from  the  masters  in  the  Academy  at  irregular  times. 
By  all  accounts  the  fagging  and  bullying  in  that  establishment 
were  appalling.  The  headmaster  of  the  school  I  was  at  was 
an  able  fellow,  and  many  of  the  cadets  used  to  come  to  have 
a  grind  with  him.  Some  of  their  tales  were  '  hair-erectors,' 
as  the  Americans  say. 

One  new  boy  had  the  misfortune  to  sprain  his  ankle, 
and  to  incur  the  fury  of  the  head  of  dormitory  on  the 
same  evening.  The  latter  tied  his  game  ankle  up  to  his 
thigh,  and  fastening  him  by  the  wrist  to  the  bottom  of  the 
bed,  made  him  stand  the  better  part  of  the  night  on  his  bad 
ankle. 

This  reminds  me  of  the  story  of  a  certain  royal  prince 
going  to  an  educational  establishment  and  being  asked  who 
his  parents  were.  On  his  reply,  the  senior — or  '  John  ' — gave 
him  a  terrific  cuff  on  the  side  of  the  head  saying  : — • 

*  That 's  for  your  father,  the  prince.' 

And  before  the  half-stunned  boy  recovered,  he  received  a 
stinging  blow  on  the  other  ear  with  : — 

'  That 's  for  your  mother,  the  princess,  and  now  black  my 
boots.' 


2  8    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

His  Highness  could  say  nothing,  but  in  time  he  grew  to 
be  the  biggest  and  the  worst  bully. 

Then  the  younger  brother  of  his  former  tormentor  came, 
and  the  prince  sent  for  him,  and  telling  him  what  his  brother 
had  done  some  years  before,  made  him  bend  down  and  flogged 
him  so  unmercifully  that  he  had  to  go  into  hospital. 

Years  after,  when  in  an  important  position,  he  met  his 
former  victim,  now  a  general,  and  congratulating  him  on  his 
career  said  : — 

'  Perhaps  I  made  your  success  by  giving  you  that  tanning 
at  Sandhurst.' 

I  wonder  whether  there  was  murder  in  the  heart  of  the 
grim  old  warrior  at  the  recollection.  Of  course  that  would 
not  be  strange,  for  many  a  time  officers  have  been  actually 
shot  in  action  by  their  own  men. 

Here  is  a  perfectly  true  story,  only  neither  the  men  nor 
the  officer  need  be  specified. 

A  colonel  who  had  grossly  mismanaged  the  regiment  knew 
his  fate  was  sealed. 

So  when  the  men  paraded  for  the  engagement,  he  said : — 

'  I  know  you  mean  to  shoot  me  to-day,  but  for  God's  sake 
don't  do  so  until  we  have  won  the  battle.' 

This  was  greeted  with  a  cheer,  and  he  came  back  safe  to 
be  decorated  and  to  play  whist  at  his  club  as  badly  as  any 
member  in  it. 

I  am  not  sure  that  cards  ought  not  to  be  considered  part 
of  every  lad's  training.  If  a  man  goes  through  life  without 
touching  a  card,  he  probably  loses  a  good  deal  of  innocent 
amusement,  and  debars  himself  from  much  pleasant  society. 
If  he  learns  to  play  when  grown  up,  he  may  find  it  a  costly 
and  unsatisfactory  branch  of  education.  But  if  he  is  taught 
to  play  reasonably  well  as  a  boy,  and  is  shown  that  excellent 


EDUCATION  29 

games  can  be  had  without  gambling — I  do  not  consider  an 
infinitesimal  stake,  in  proportion  to  his  means,  gambling — he 
will  have  an  extra  amusement  made  for  him  and  a  relaxation 
after  his  day's  work. 

A  near  relative  of  my  own  gets  his  club  cronies  to  play 
bridge  with  his  son,  aged  eighteen,  and  pays  his  losses,  in 
order  that  he  may  be  thoroughly  grounded  in  the  game.  The 
lad  is  a  capital  boy,  and  all  the  better  for  his  early  association 
with  elder  men  on  their  own  level. 

One  of  the  resources  of  my  old  age  is  three  games  of 
picquet  every  night  after  dinner  with  my  wife,  and  very  much 
I  enjoy  them.  There  is  often  the  fashionable  bridge  played 
in  the  room  by  my  children  and  their  friends,  but  I  have  never 
taken  a  hand,  though  in  younger  days  I  derived  a  fair 
amount  of  diversion  from  whist. 


CHAPTER    IV 

FARMING 

My  years  of  schooling  having  come  to  an  end,  I  was  back  in 
Ireland  in  full  enjoyment  of  youth,  high  spirits,  and  thought- 
less carelessness.  These  holiday  times  were  delightful.  I 
could  be  in  the  saddle  all  day  if  I  liked,  was  free  to  shoot  or 
bathe  as  I  pleased,  had  dogs  at  my  disposal,  could  pass  the 
time  of  day  with  all  sorts  and  conditions  of  men — a  thing 
which  I  have  relished  all  my  life — and  in  fact  led  the  gay 
existence  of  the  younger  offshoot  of  an  Irish  squire. 

In  those  days  things  were  not  so  impecunious  in  Ireland 
as  they  subsequently  became,  but  there  was  always  a  vivacious 
Hibernian  scorn  for  false  pretension,  and  a  determination  to 
have  the  best  possible  time,  such  as  you  can  read  in  Lever's 
novels  of  old,  and  the  capital  tales  of  those  two  clever  ladies, 
Miss  Martin  and  Miss  Somerville,  to-day. 

It  is  perfectly  true  that  there  are  many  Irish  landlords  in 
sporting  counties  who  cannot  have  three  hundred  a  year,  and 
yet  all  their  sons  and  daughters  manage  to  hunt  four  days 
a  week. 

This  would  be  impossible  out  of  Ireland,  and  is  absolutely 
incomprehensible  even  there  ;  but  the  fact  remains  that  it  is 
done,  and  all  one  can  remark  is  to  echo  the  patter  of  the 
conjuror : — 

'  Wonderful,  isn't  it } ' 

I,  however,  was  not  destined  to  be  left  a  derelict  at  home, 

30 


FARMING  31 

as  falls  to  the  hapless  lot  of  far  too  many  good  fellows  in 
Ireland. 

There  were  a  good  many  family  counsels,  and  the  authori- 
ties could  not  make  up  their  minds  what  to  do  with  me. 
However,  I  thought  farming  was  the  idlest  occupation,  and 
suggested  it  should  be  my  profession — an  idea  hailed  with 
rapture,  principally  because  it  saved  everybody  the  trouble  of 
racking  their  brains  about  me. 

Personally,  I  have  often  regretted  that  what  in  modern 
phrase  may  be  called  the  '  Stevenson  boom '  did  not  coincide 
with  my  search  for  a  career.  Big  posts  were  in  due  time 
going  for  engineers  ;  and  those  young  men  who  had  the  stamp 
of  apprenticeship  to,  or  association  with,  the  great  man  could 
get  almost  anything  in  the  days  of  the  fever  for  railway 
construction. 

Even  later  than  the  period  I  am  now  recalling,  the  journey 
from  Dublin  to  Dingle  would  take  more  than  two  days,  and, 
so  far  as  I  can  recollect,  it  certainly  took  five  from  Dingle 
to  London.  Those  coaching  journeys  were  terrible  experiences 
in  wet  weather,  for  you  were  drenched  outside  and  suffocated 
inside,  whilst  you  paid  more  than  three  times  the  present 
railway  fare  for  the  miserable  privilege  of  this  uncomfort- 
able means  of  transit. 

The  old  posting  hotels  used  to  be  uncommonly  good  and 
comfortable,  whilst  they  did  a  thriving  trade.  The  coach 
purported  to  give  you  ample  time  to  breakfast  and  dine 
at  certain  capital  hostels,  but  by  a  private  arrangement 
between  mine  host  and  the  guard  and  driver,  the  meals 
used  to  be  abruptly  closured  in  order  to  save  the  landlord's 
larder. 

On  the  way  down  from  Dublin,  a  thirty  minutes'  pause  was 
allowed  at  Naas  for  breakfast ;  but  on  the  occasion  of  my  story. 


32    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

as  well  as  on  every  other,  after  a  quarter  of  an  hour  the  waiter 
announced  the  coach  was  just  starting. 

Everybody  ran  out  to  regain  their  seats,  except  one  com- 
mercial traveller,  who  picked  up  all  the  teaspoons  and  put 
them  in  the  teapot  before  calmly  resuming  his  meal. 

Back  came  the  waiter  with  : — 

*  Not  a  moment  to  spare,  sir.' 

'  All  right,'  said  the  traveller  ;  '  which  of  the  passengers 
has  taken  the  teaspoons  ? ' 

The  waiter  gave  one  glance  of  horror,  and  then  pro- 
ceeded to  have  every  one  on  the  coach  examined  for  the 
missing  articles. 

By  the  time  that  the  commercial  traveller  had  calmly 
finished  a  hearty  meal  there  was  nearly  a  riot,  and  then  he 
emerged  from  the  coffee-room,  and  suggested  that  the  waiter 
had  better  look  in  the  teapot. 

By  the  way,  I  don't  fancy  that  he  regularly  travelled  on 
that  road,  for  he  would  have  been  a  marked  man  at  Naas  for 
years  to  come. 

I  was  seventeen  at  the  time  when  I  had  decided,  with 
parental  acquiescence,  to  be  a  farmer,  and  I  was  sent  to  learn 
my  profession  to  the  south  of  Scotland,  to  a  farmer  named 
Bogue. 

I  there  acquired,  at  all  events,  one  curious  fact,  which  has 
stuck  in  my  head  ever  since,  and  it  is  thus  : — 

Scotland  and  Ireland  are  governed  by  the  same  Sovereign, 
Lords,  and  Commons.  Scotland  is  the  best  farmed  country 
in  Europe,  and  Ireland  about  the  worst. 

One  pair  of  horses  in  Scotland  were  then  supposed  to 
cultivate  fifty  acres  of  tillage,  and  in  Ireland  the  average  was 
one  horse  to  five  acres.  Indeed  it  is  in  both  cases  much  the 
same  to-day. 


FARMING  33 

In  reality  a  farm  is  a  workshop  from  which  you  turn  out 
as  much  produce  as  possible.  But  on  an  Irish  farm  it  is  the 
habit  to  squeeze  out  the  last  possible  ounce  without  putting 
anything  in,  for  it  is  not  run  with  an  eye  on  future  years, 
but  only  in  a  hand-to-mouth,  beggar-the-soil  kind  of  way, 
without  a  thought  beyond  contemporary  exigencies. 

There  were  several  other  pupils  with  Bogue,  but  I  stuck 
to  the  business  more  than  the  rest,  who  were  perpetually  galli- 
vanting into  Kelso,  or  even  going  up  to  Edinburgh,  where 
they  learnt  nothing  which  taught  them  their  trade  or  put 
money  into  their  pockets.  Therefore  it  happened  that  I  was 
selected  by  Bogue  to  have  an  excellent  practical  demonstration 
of  farming,  after  this  wise.  He  had  a  pretty  sharp  illness, 
and  left  me  for  a  short  time  full  management  of  all  his  six 
hundred  acres,  and  that  bit  of  responsibility  made  a  man  of  me 
once  and  for  all,  I  stepped  out  of  boyhood  instantly,  and 
became  an  adult  in  feelings  and  bearing  ;  but  to  this  day  I 
hope  my  sense  of  fun  is  only  keener  than  it  was  as  a  lad. 

I  acquired  a  good  deal  of  common  sense  in  Scotland,  and 
learnt  to  observe  for  myself,  a  thing  many  men  never  acquire, 
and  on  their  deathbeds  they  will  never  be  able  to  enumerate 
the  opportunities  they  have  consequently  lost. 

As  I  was  to  be  a  farmer,  I  thought  it  was  no  use  to  confine 
my  attention  to  the  one  I  was  on,  but  contracted  the  habit, 
when  work  was  at  all  slack,  of  going  about  to  pick  up  what 
wrinkles  I  could  from  other  proprietors,  as  well  as  to  make 
observations  on  my  own  account. 

Subsequently  I  have  made  two  agricultural  tours  through 
Scotland  for  the  same  purpose,  getting  as  far  north  as 
Sutherland,  in  order  to  find  out  how  the  Highland  farmer 
dealt  with  more  barren  soil  under  a  less  propitious  climate.  I 
have  noted  more  improvement  in  farming  in  Ayrshire  in  the 

c 


34   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

interval  than  in  any  other  county.  Yet  there  is  a  letter  in 
existence  by  Burns  in  which  he  observes  that  Ayrshire  lairds 
are  getting  English  and  East  Lothian  notions  about  rents,  and 
raising  them  so  high  that  it  will  soon  be  a  wilderness. 

The  fact  is  that  the  Scotsman  is  a  farmer  by  nature,  but 
the  Irishman  is  a  farmer  by  inclination. 

An  Irishman  tries  to  exist  on  land  cultivated  by  the 
minimum  amount  of  labour,  and  does  not  farm  a  bit  better  if 
his  land  is  cheaper. 

Every  farmer  in  Scotland  and  England  is  laying  down  his 
land  in  grass,  and  giving  up  tillage  as  fast  as  he  can.  It  is 
notorious  that  Ireland  is  more  suitable  for  pasture  than  tillage, 
and  yet  the  Government  have  constituted  a  Board  to  break  up 
the  rich  grazing  lands  in  Ireland  and  divide  them  into  small 
tillage  farms,  on  which  the  tenants  could  not  get  a  decent 
living  even  if  they  had  it  free  of  rent  and  taxes. 

Old  Bogue  was  a  bachelor  by  profession,  and  his  poly- 
gamistic  tendencies  were  duly  concealed,  though  pretty 
generally  known,  as  most  things  are  in  the  country.  He 
had  as  housekeeper  a  woman  so  skinny  that  it  made  you  feel 
cold  to  look  at  her,  and  her  disposition  was  on  a  par  with  her 
appearance.  Of  course,  it  suited  the  national  thrift,  par- 
ticularly congenial  to  Bogue,  to  feed  us  meanly,  but  we  did 
not  relish  her  parsimonious  economies. 

There  was  one  thing  none  of  us  might  shirk,  and  that  was 
regular  attendance  at  kirk  on  Sunday,  I  have  been  a  church- 
going  man  all  my  life — in  my  late  years  in  London  I  have 
especially  appreciated  the  beautiful  services  at  St.  Anne's, 
Soho — but  the  kirk  has  always  been  the  breaking  of  precious 
ointment  over  an  unworthy  head,  so  far  as  I  am  concerned. 
The  improvised  prayer,  that  is  always  so  carefully  prepared, 
and  is  often  one  delivered  in  regular  rotation,  always  seems  to 


FARMING  2S 

me  rather  humbugging  for  that  reason,  and  the  tremendously- 
long  sermons,  which  have  a  minimum  of  three  quarters  of  an 
hour,  no  matter  what  the  text  or  the  ability  of  the  preacher, 
are  to  me  a  vexation  of  spirit.  I  have  occasionally  heard  good 
sermons  in  kirk,  but  I  think  the  standard  of  Scottish  preaching 
has  always  been  overrated. 

Moreover,  I  agree  in  the  main  with  the  American  critic  of 
sermons,  who  said  if  a  preacher  can't  strike  ile  in  ten  minutes 
he  has  got  a  bad  organ,  or  he  is  boring  in  the  wrong  place. 
It  is  always  unfair  to  bore  in  the  pulpit,  because  the  congre- 
gation have  no  means  of  retaliation  except  by  subsequently 
staying  away,  and  in  the  country  that  is  not  compatible  with 
the  public  worship  of  their  Maker. 

We  have  all  heard  the  traditional  stories  about  the  divines 
who,  having  found  the  sand  of  the  hour-glass  exhausted,  calmly 
reversed  it  and  continued  for  a  second  spell,  to  the  complete 
satisfaction  of  the  congregations.  But  in  my  experience  only 
one  preacher  could  have  done  that  without  unendurably  pro- 
voking me,  and  he  was  Archbishop  Magee,  of  whom  I  shall 
have  something  to  say  when  I  am  dealing  with  County  Cork. 

For  the  Scots  in  character  I  conceived  much  respect  and 
little  enthusiasm.  If  there  is  anything  more  remarkable  than 
the  hard-working  powers  of  the  Scottish  farmer  it  is  his  capacity 
for  hard  drinking.  But  that  only  makes  him  offensive  in  his 
brief  conviviality  and  morose  in  the  long  subsequent  sulkiness. 
Whereas  I  defy  you  to  be  seriously  angry  with  a  drunken 
Irishman,  if  you  have  a  due  sense  of  humour — and  without 
that  you  have  lost  the  salt  of  life.  To  my  mind  there  is 
something  austere  in  the  better  characteristics  of  the  Scot, 
and  also  something  hypocritical  about  his  morality.  You 
always  hear  that  professed  in  Scotland,  and  never  in  Ireland. 
But    in    the    latter    fewer    illegitimate    children    are    born 


-,6   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 


J 


than  in  any  other  country  in  Europe,  and  in  Scotland — notably 
Glasgow — the  high  percentage  has  become  sadly  proverbial. 
Yet,  despite  these  adverse  points,  the  Scottish  character  has  a 
native  grandeur  which  must  provoke  admiration,  though  all 
my  warmth  of  feelings  goes  to  my  own  oft-erring  countrymen. 

I  returned  to  Ireland  in  1843  with  the  intention  of  farming 
in  Kerry  on  the  scientific  system  I  had  learned  in  Berwickshire. 
However,  I  found  the  land  so  subdivided  that  it  was  not  only 
difficult,  but  impossible,  to  obtain  a  farm  of  sufficient  size  to 
return  a  reasonable  percentage  on  the  necessary  outlay.  The 
population  of  Kerry  was  then  293,880,  and  the  land  was 
divided  into  25,848  farms,  the  holders  of  which,  I  may  say, 
entirely  depended  for  existence  on  26,030  acres  of  potatoes. 
To  give  an  example  of  the  intense  love  of  subdivision,  I 
knew  a  case  where  one  horse  was  the  property  of  three 
*  farmers,'  and  as  they  differed  as  to  who  was  to  pay  for 
the  fourth  shoe,  they  sold  the  horse,  which  was  bought  by 
an  uncle  of  mine. 

Few  farmers  ate  meat  except  at  Christmas.  They  wore 
homespun  flannel  and  frieze,  and  their  only  luxury,  whisky, 
was  obtainable  at  a  quarter  of  its  present  price.  A  young 
couple  were  considered  ready  to  start  in  married  life  when 
they  had  obtained  a  '  farm,'  consisting  of  a  couple  of  acres  for 
potatoes  and  a  mud  hovel  for  themselves  ;  and  thus  a  popu- 
lation, dependent  on  a  precarious  root,  increased  very  rapidly. 
It  was  thicker  near  the  sea  coast  than  inland.  The  rents  then 
were  about  double  what  they  are  now  (though  half  what  they 
had  been  at  the  beginning  of  the  nineteenth  century),  yet,  with 
good  potato  crops,  people  seemed  content  and  times  were  fairly 
good.  I  should  say  there  was  not  such  general  drunkenness 
as  in  later  times,  and  very  little  porter  was  consumed  in  those 
days — at  all  events  outside  Dublin.     What  schools  there  were 


FARMING  37 

were  shockingly  bad,  and  reading,  not  to  say  writing,  was  an 
exceptional  accomplishment,  not  only  among  the  labouring 
classes,  but  among  those  who  held  their  heads  much  higher. 
This  of  course  impressed  me  coming  straight  from  Scotland, 
where  a  really  grand  education  has  been  the  national  birth- 
right for  generations. 

I  began  to  farm  about  sixty  acres  near  Dingle,  and  gave 
my  entire  time  to  it,  an  assiduity  I  have  compared  in  my 
mind  to  that  of  the  Norwegian  reclaiming  the  little  arable 
spots  on  the  mountain.  We  both  worked  pretty  hard  for 
very  scanty  results.  I  did  not  even  live  on  my  tiny  property, 
but  with  my  mother — my  father  had  died  after  I  returned 
from  my  English  schools  and  before  I  went  to  Kelso. 

Still  matters  were  not  long  satisfactory,  owing  to  the 
failure  of  the  potato  crop  in  1845,  when  the  mortaUty  became 
fearful  in  consequence. 

So  at  the  very  end  of  the  year  I  migrated  from  Kerry 
to  become  an  assistant  land  agent  in  Cork,  and  thus  really 
embarked  on  the  profession  of  my  life — one  which,  on  the 
whole,  I  have  most  thoroughly  and  heartily  enjoyed. 

I  hoped  then  that  I  had  not  done  with  my  beloved  Kerry, 
and  my  association  with  that  great  kingdom  has  indeed  been 
lifelong.  I  have  always  understood  the  feeling  of  the  Irish 
emigrants  who  have  had  sods  of  their  native  earth  sent  out  to 
them  to  the  New  World,  Heimweh  is  after  all  a  good  thing, 
and  Kerry  to  me  would  always  seem  to  be  appealing,  however 
far  I  had  roamed. 


CHAPTER   V 


LAND    AGENT    IN    CORK 


Had  I  been  able  to  obtain  a  reasonably  large  farm  near 
Dingle,  I  should  never  have  become  a  land  agent,  and  I 
most  certainly  should  never  have  given  evidence  before 
any  Commission, 

In  default  of  adequate  land  accommodation,  I  embarked 
on  my  profession  by  becoming  assistant  land  agent  to  my 
brother-in-law,  the  Knight  of  Kerry,  who  was  agent  to  Sir 
George  Colthurst.  I  lived  with  the  Knight  at  Inniscarra  in 
County  Cork,  not  far  from  Blarney. 

From  that  time  onward  I  worked  steadily,  and  as  I  take 
my  ease  at  the  Carlton  to-day,  I  really  feel  I  have  done  as 
much  honest  labour  in  my  career  as  has  any  man. 

In  proof  I  may  cite  a  day's  record  some  years  later,  taken 
almost  at  random  from  my  diary. 

I  began  with  an  hour  in  my  Cork  office,  went  by  train  to 
Killarney,  a  journey  of  three  and  a  half  hours,  where  I  spent 
three  hours  in  my  office,  and  then  by  train  on  to  Tralee,  a 
further  one  and  a  quarter  hours,  where  I  had  an  hour  and  a 
half  in  my  office  in  that  town,  and  then  drove  out  to  Edenburn, 
seven  miles,  to  sleep.  That  done  fairly  often  makes  a  decided 
strain  on  endurance  and  mental  concentration,  because  the 
affairs  at  each  place  were  of  course  for  different  landlords  and 
needed  the  memorising  of  a  fresh  section  of  business  all 
absolutely  intrusted  to  me,  whilst  the  train  service  in  Kerry 


38 


LAND  AGENT  IN  CORK  39 

then  and  now  is  not  calculated  to  promote  mental  tranquillity 
or  facilitate  business. 

Having  alluded  to  my  diary,  I  had  better  explain  that  I 
kept  no  journal  until  1852,  and  subsequently  to  that  year 
it  consisted  merely  of  bald  memoranda  of  my  movements  ; 
therefore  it  has  not  been  of  the  least  use  in  preparing 
these  reminiscences. 

In  1846  I  became  a  Government  Inspector  of  Land 
Improvements  and  Drainage  Works,  and  in  that  capacity 
went  to  Bantry,  where  I  saw  the  appalling  destitution  caused 
by  the  famine,  with  which  I  shall  deal  in  the  next  chapter. 

I  had  made  application  for  this  post  before  I  left  Kerry, 
directly  I  had  found  my  farm  too  small  for  my  requirements, 
and  I  received  the  appointment  from  the  Chairman  of  the 
Irish  Board  of  Works.  Practically  speaking  the  pay  was 
about  a  pound  a  day  with  allowances. 

This  post  in  no  way  interfered  with  my  duties  as  a  land 
agent  then,  but  I  afterwards  resigned  it  owing  to  the  increasing 
exigencies  of  my  profession. 

It  may  be  as  well  to  detail  for  readers  other  than  Irish 
what  are  the  avocations  of  a  land  agent,  especially  as  the  class 
in  Ireland  will  probably  soon  be  as  extinct  as  the  dodo. 

The  duties  of  an  Irish  land  agent  comprise  a  great  deal 
of  office  work,  drawing  up  agreements  with  tenants,  receiving 
rent,  superintending  agricultural  and  all  landlords'  improve- 
ments, sitting  as  magistrate  and  representing  the  landlord 
when  the  latter  is  absent  at  poor-law  meetings,  road  sessions, 
and  on  grand  juries. 

With  very  rare  exceptions  the  salary  has  been  five  per 
cent,  on  the  rents  received.  So  the  agent  has  been  paid  five 
per  cent,  on  all  the  money  he  has  put  into  the  landlord's 
pockets,  whilst  an  architect  has  always  received  five  per  cent. 


40   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

on  all  he  took  out  of  them,  an  arrangement  which  in  the  latter 
instance  has  not  worked  at  all  well  for  the  landlords. 

The  tendency  has  gradually  been  to  consolidate  and 
amalgamate  land  agencies,  for  as  the  difficulty  of  getting  rents 
increased,  more  competent  men  of  experience  and  judgment 
were  needed  by  the  landlords.  As  a  proof  of  the  trust  reposed 
in  me,  I  may  mention  that  at  one  time  I  received  the  rents  of 
one-fifth  of  the  whole  county  of  Kerry — and  that  in  the  worst 
times. 

Such  a  task  is  not  one  to  be  envied,  however  joyously  a 
man  may  take  up  the  burden  of  his  daily  toil,  and  of  course 
the  agents  as  the  outward  and  visible  signs  of  the  distant  or 
absentee  landlords  obtained  the  greater  share  of  the  hatred  felt 
for  the  latter. 

In  the  worst  period  Lord  Derby  received  threats  that  if  he 
did  not  reduce  his  rents,  his  agent  would  be  murdered. 

He  coolly  replied  : — 

'  If  you  think  you  will  intimidate  me  by  shooting  my  agent 
you  are  greatly  mistaken.' 

That  is  exactly  the  reply  the  agents  desired  the  landlords 
to  make,  but  it  did  not  conduce  to  making  their  own  existences 
any  the  more  secure  or  enviable. 

Of  course  in  the  due  working  out  of  the  Wyndham  Act, 
land  agents  will  be  utterly  ruined. 

There  are  no  openings  for  them  because  they  are  too  old 
to  commence  learning  another  profession,  and  they  will  not 
get  employment  under  the  County  Council  because  they 
belong  to  the  landlord  class  and  have  unflinchingly  fought 
the  battles  of  the  landlords. 

The  agents  are  a  class  who  have  devoted  their  time  and 
risked  their  lives  in  order  to  get  in  the  rents  due  to  their 
employers,  and  there   is   not  the   smallest  chance — save  in  a 


LAND  AGENT  IN  CORK  41 

few  isolated  and  exceptional  cases — of  their  being  kept  on 
when  the  landlords  will  have  only  their  own  demesne  in  their 
own  hands  and  employ  some  underling,  such  as  a  bailiff  in 
England,  to  collect  the  stray  rents  of  the  few  cottagers  who 
may  still  chance  to  be  tenants. 

Judge  Ross  stated  that  there  was  no  more  deserving  or 
painstaking  class  in  Ireland  than  the  land  agents,  and  he  con- 
sidered it  a  great  hardship  that  under  the  Wyndham  Act 
they  obtain  no  compensation. 

By  agreement  in  most  cases  they  receive  three  per  cent,  of 
the  purchase  money,  but  that  is  a  very  poor  sinking  fund  to 
provide  for  a  middle-aged  gentleman,  who  has  probably  a 
family  to  support ;  and  absolute  bankruptcy  must  be  the  result 
if  there  is,  as  on  several  large  properties,  an  agent  with  a 
couple  of  assistants. 

When  the  Ashbourne  Act  was  passed  in  1885,  it  was 
never  contemplated  that  the  purchases  would  be  on  a  whole- 
sale scale.  As  a  matter  of  fact  only  a  few  estates  were  sold, 
and  on  the  purchase  price  of  one  of  those  for  which  I  was 
agent  I  received  two  per  cent.  It  should  be  also  borne  in 
mind  that  the  profession  of  a  land  agent  in  Ireland  is 
on  a  far  higher  social  plane  than  in  England.  In  many 
cases  the  younger  son  or  brother  of  the  landlord  is  the 
agent  for  the  family  property ;  and  in  some  instances  this 
has  worked  uncommonly  well.  In  other  cases,  gentlemen 
by  birth  conducted  the  business,  or  else  the  administration 
of  several  estates  was  consolidated  and  carried  on  from  one 
office.  * 

In  every  case  the  billet  was  regarded  as  one  for  life,  only 
forfeited  by  gross  misconduct,  and  the  relations  between  land- 
lord and  agent  have  been  nearly  always  of  an  intimate  and 
cordial  character.     Each  agent  began  as  an  assistant,  obtaining 


42    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

an  independent  post  by  selection  and  influence,  and  few  entered 
the  profession  unless  they  had  reasonable  prospects  of  a  definite 
post  on  their  own  account  in  due  course. 

In  my  time  the  landlord  was  the  sole  judge  of  the  agent's 
qualifications,  but  the  profession  has  become  a  branch  of  the 
Engineering  Surveyor's  Institution. 

As  may  be  imagined,  there  are  now  remarkably  few 
candidates  for  the  necessary  examinations,  because  it  is  virtually 
annihilated. 

Things  were  very  different  when  I  embarked  without 
mistrust  on  a  career  which  has  landed  me  comfortably  into 
my  eighties,  although  under  Government  every  appointment 
has  to  be  compulsorily  vacated  at  the  age  of  sixty-five.  No 
one  starting  now  could  anticipate  any  such  result  in  old  age, 
and  so  without  affectation  I  can  say  autres  temps  autres  m^urs, 
which  may  be  freely  translated  as  '  present  times  much  the 
worst.' 

More  pleasant  is  it  to  turn  to  a  few  brief  memories  of 
Cork.  It  was  a  cheerful  place  at  the  time  I  am  speaking 
of,  for  there  was  plenty  of  entertaining  and  truly  genial 
hospitality.  The  general  depression  caused  by  famine,  fever, 
and  Fenians  hardly  affected  the  great  town,  and  after  those 
funereal  shadows  had  once  passed,  Cork  was  as  gay  as  any 
one  could  reasonably  desire. 

The  townsfolk  are  very  witty  and  clever  at  giving  nick- 
names, as  the  following  little  tales  will  show. 

When  a  citizen  in  Cork  makes  money,  he  generally  builds 
a  house,  and  the  higher  up  the  hill  his  house  is  situated,  the 
more  is  thought  of  him. 

Mr.  Doneghan,  a  highly  respectable  tallow  chandler,  built 
a  fine  residence  early  in  the  nineteenth  century,  which  he  called 
Waterloo. 


LAND  AGENT  IN  CORK  43 

The  populace  said  it  should  have  been  named  Talavera 
(i.e.  Tallow-vera),  and  as  that  it  is  known  to  this  day. 

Mr.  Maguire,  who  was  Member  for  Cork,  and  Lord 
Mayor  of  the  City  into  the  bargain,  was  very  influential  in  the 
promotion  of  a  gas  company.  With  the  money  he  made  out 
of  it,  he  reared  a  rather  lofty  mansion,  which  was  promptly 
christened  the  Lighthouse. 

All  butter  in  Cork  is  sold  at  the  wharves,  and  the  casks 
are  branded  with  the  quality  of  the  butter  they  contain.  One 
man  made  a  fortune  out  of  the  first  class  butter  on  its  merits, 
and  out  of  the  sixth  class  butter,  which  he  put  in  the  first  class 
casks  and  sold  on  the  testimony  of  the  brand  on  the  wood. 
This  became  in  time  notorious  to  most  people  except  the  more 
unsophisticated  of  his  clients,  and  when  he  embarked  on  bricks 
and  mortar  his  house  was  generally  known  as  Brandenburg. 

One  more  and  I  have  done  with  these  baptismal  sobriquets. 

A  lady  on  a  Queenstown  steamer  had  put  her  foot  down 
the  bunker's  hole,  and  broke  her  ankle  through  the  accident. 
She  brought  an  action  against  the  company,  duly  proved 
negligence  on  the  part  of  the  employes,  and  obtained  sub- 
stantial damages.  These  considerably  assisted  her  in  erecting 
a  rather  attractive  mansion,  which  she  decidedly  resented  being 
called  Bunker's  Hill. 

Some  people  have  their  own  ideas  about  the  definition  of 
a  gentleman,  as  a  certain  rather  diminutive  racing  man  found 
to  his  cost. 

It  was  at  a  meeting  close  to  Cork,  and  he  was  standing 
next  a  burly  farmer  close  to  the  rails  when  the  horses  were 
nearly  ready  to  start. 

Pointing  to  one  disreputable -looking  ruffian  about  to 
mount,  he  observed  :  — 

'  That  fellow  has  no  pretensions  to  be  a  gentleman-rider.' 


44   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

The  farmer  caught  him  by  the  collar  of  his  coat  and  the 
seat  of  his  breeches,  and  shook  him  as  a  mastiff  would  a  rat. 

*  Mind  yourself,  small  man,'  said  he,  *  that 's  a  recognised 
gentleman  in  these  parts.' 

There  was  a  mighty  shindy,  and  when  the  farmer  was  told 
his  victim  was  a  prominent  English  peer,  he  retorted  :  — 

'  Well,  that  won't  make  him  a  judge  of  an  Irish  gentleman.* 

In  the  last  chapter  I  mentioned  that  the  preacher  I  most 
admired  was  Archbishop  Magee.  I  had  the  privilege  of 
frequently  hearing  him  in  Cork,  where  he  drew  crowded 
congregations  to  a  temporary  church — the  cathedral  being 
under  repair. 

I  never  heard  any  one  who  so  magnetised  me  from  the 
pulpit,  and  I  am  by  no  means  prone  to  admire  sermons.  There 
was  a  sort  of  mesmerism  in  the  very  eloquence  of  Magee  which 
kept  my  eyes  riveted  on  his  lips — rather  big,  bulgy  lips  in  an 
expressive,  sensitive  face.  An  hour  beneath  him  sped  mar- 
vellously fast,  and  more  than  once  in  Cork  I  have  heard  him 
preach  for  that  length.  The  impression  he  made  on  me  has 
never  been  effaced,  and  it  was  with  no  surprise  I  learnt  in  due 
course  that  he  became  Archbishop  of  York. 

The  late  Lord  Derby  said  that  the  most  eloquent  speech 
he  ever  heard  in  or  out  of  the  House  of  Lords  was  Magee's 
speech  on  the  Church  Act,  the  peroration  of  which — quoting 
from  memory  after  many  years — ran  : — '  My  Lords,  I  will 
not,  I  cannot,  and  I  dare  not  vote  for  that  most  unhallowed 
bill  which  lies  on  your  Lordships'  table.' 

Have  all  Magee  stories  been  told  ? 

I  am  afraid  so.  Yet  in  the  hope  that  a  few  may  be  new  to 
some,  though  old  to  others — who  are  invited  to  skip  them — 
here  are  just  a  small  batch. 

When  he  was  a  dean,  he  one  day  attended  a  debate  on 


LAND  AGENT  IN  CORK  45 

tithes  in  the  House  of  Commons,  and  was  subsequently 
putting  on  his  overcoat,  when  a  Radical  Member  courteously- 
assisted  him,  whereupon  he  remarked  : — - 

'  I  am  very  much  obliged  to  you,  sir,  for  reversing  the 
policy  of  your  friends  inside,  who  are  taking  the  coats  off  our 
backs.' 

This  was  equalled  by  the  wife  of  an  Irish  landlord  who 
lost  her  purse  in  the  Ladies'  Gallery  of  the  House  of 
Commons. 

Mrs.  Gladstone,  who  had  been  sitting  next  her,  after 
kindly  assisting  in  the  ineffectual  search,  observed  : — 

'  I  hope  there  was  not  much  in  it.' 

'  No,  it  was  a  nice  little  purse  I  had  had  for  a  long  time, 
but  thanks  to  your  husband  there  was  nothing  in  it.' 

An  Irish  story  of  Magee's  concerns  an  Orange  clergyman 
in  Fermanagh,  who  asked  leave  to  preach  a  sermon  by  Magee. 
Now,  this  clergyman,  who  was  an  ambitious  man,  was  rather 
ashamed  of  his  mother,  and  would  not  let  her  live  at  the 
parsonage,  but  had  taken  lodgings  for  her  in  the  town. 
Magee,  moreover,  always  a  moderate  man,  did  not  like  Orange 
sermons,  and  most  certainly  had  never  composed  one.  As  he 
good  naturedly  did  not  want  to  offend  the  other,  he  said  he 
would  give  him  a  capital  sermon  to  deliver  if  he — Magee— 
might  select  the  text. 

'  Of  course,  of  course,'  assented  the  other  ;  '  what  is  it.?  ' 

'  "  From  that  time  His  disciple  took  her  to  his  own  house."  ' 

Even  this  was  hardly  so  cutting  as  his  remark,  when  a 
bishop,  to  a  clergyman  of  whom  he  did  not  think  highly,  but 
who  upbraided  him  for  not  giving  him  a  living. 

'  Sir,  if  it  were  raining  livings,  the  utmost  I  could  do 
would  be  to  lend  you  an  umbrella.' 

Mention  of  Magee  suggests  an  ecclesiastical  tale  concerning 


46    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

a  most  convivial  attorney — George  Faith  by  name — who  had 
rather  a  red  nose,  which  he  explained  was  caused  by  wearing 
tight  boots. 

His  father  in  old  age  got  married  a  second  time,  and 
George  was  asked  why  his  stepmother  was  like  Dr.  Newman. 

The  answer  was  because  she  had  embraced  the  ancient 
Faith. 

Among  old  time  Irish  members,  Joe  Ronayne,  M.P.  for 
Cork,  was  among  the  most  diverting. 

He  was  a  railway  contractor,  and  much  wanted  some 
additional  ground  at  the  terminus  of  the  line,  which  the 
proprietor.  Lord  Ventry,  would  not  sell. 

The  size  of  the  coveted  patch  was  only  seven  feet  long  by 
three  broad.     Mr.  Ronayne  grimly  retorted  : — 

'  That 's  very  strange,  for  it  is  exactly  the  amount  of 
ground  I  'd  like  to  give  him,'  i.e.  for  his  grave. 

Another  experience  of  Ronayne's  was  to  the  following  tune. 

He  had  obtained  advances  from  a  local  bank  for  his  rail- 
way contract  to  the  satisfaction  of  both  parties,  and  when 
asked  by  the  manager  for  some  wrinkles  about  the  making 
of  a  railway,  replied  : — 

'  The  best  thing  is  to  run  it  into  a  soft  bank.' 

He  was  a  plucky  chap  as  well  as  a  witty  one,  for  owing  to 
some  internal  malady,  from  which  he  died,  he  had  to  have  his 
leg  amputated,  at  the  same  time  resigning  his  seat  for  Cork. 

Addressing  the  surgeon,  he  observed  : — 

'  I  cannot  stand  for  the  borough  any  longer,  but  I  shall 
certainly  stump  the  constituency  as  a  county  candidate.' 

Poor  fellow,  he  was  all  too  soon  an  accepted  candidate  for 
his  passage  over  to  the  great  majority. 

A  certain  attorney  named  Nagle  used  to  do  most  of  his 
work. 


LAND  AGENT  IN  CORK  47 

Speaking  of  another  attorney  this  Nagle  remarked  : — 

'  He  has  the  heart  of  a  vulture.' 

'  I  know  what 's  worse,'  was  Ronayne's  comment. 

' Indeed  ! ' 

'  Yes ;  the  bill  of  an  aigle '  (which  is  the  broad  Cork 
pronunciation  of  eagle). 

This  Nagle  was  not  remarkable  for  the  extent  of  his 
ablutions. 

At  one  period,  when  he  was  becoming  an  ardent  Radical, 
an  obsequious  toady  said  : — 

'  You  '11  become  a  second  Marat.' 

'  There 's  no  fear  that  he  will  die  in  the  same  place,' 
promptly  came  from  Ronayne. 

On  another  occasion  the  two  were  waiting  for  the  judges 
outside  their  lodgings  during  the  Assizes. 

Suddenly  Ronayne,  in  the  hearing  of  a  number  of  acquaint- 
ances, called  out : — 

'  You  had  better  come  away  at  once,  Nagle.* 

'  Why  should  I .'' '  indignantly. 

'  If  you  stop  five  minutes  longer  there  's  a  shower  of  rain 
coming  on  and  you  might  get  washed.' 

On  a  third  occasion,  Nagle  told  Ronayne  he  was  going  to 
invest  some  money  In  a  mining  exploration. 

'  Explore  your  own  landed  property,  my  dear  fellow,'  was 
Ronayne's  advice. 

'  But  you  know  I  have  not  got  any.' 

*  Good  Heavens,  you  don't  mean  to  say  you  have  cleaned 
your  nails  ? ' 

Though  he  was  an  out-and-out  Fenian,  Ronayne  was  as 
honest  a  man  as  I  ever  met,  and  he  was  considered  one  of  the 
most  amusing  men  in  the  House  of  Commons. 

The  attorneys  in  Cork  at  one  time  formed  quite  a  small 


48    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

coterie,  who  divided  all  the  business  until  it  grew  too  much  for 
them,  one,  Mr.  Paul  Wallace,  being  especially  harassed  with 
briefs. 

At  length  a  barrister  named  Graves  came  down  from 
Dublin,  and  was  introduced  to  Wallace  by  another  attorney 
with  the  remark  : — 

'  Counsel  are  very  necessary.' 

'  Yes,'  said  Wallace  ;  *  as  a  matter  of  fact,  we  are  all  being 
driven  to  our  graves.' 

At  Kanturk  Sessions,  Mr.  Philip  O'Connell  was  consulted 
by  a  client  about  the  recovery  of  a  debt.  He  at  once  saw 
that  the  defence  would  be  a  pleading  of  the  statute  of  limita- 
tions, so  he  told  his  client  that  if  he  could  get  a  man  to  swear 
that  the  debtor  had  admitted  the  debt  within  the  last  six  years, 
he  would  succeed,  but  not  otherwise. 

O'Connell  went  off  to  take  the  chair  at  a  Bar  dinner  to  a 
new  County  Court  judge. 

As  the  dessert  was  being  set  on  the  table,  a  loud  knock 
came  at  the  door,  which  was  immediately  behind  the  chairman. 

'  What  is  it  ^ '  cried  O'Connell. 

A  head  appeared,  and  the  voice  from  it  explained  : — 

'  I  'm  Tim  Flaherty,  your  honour,  as  was  consulting  you 
outside,  and  I  want  you  to  come  this  way  for  a  while.' 

'  Don't  you  see  I  am  engaged  and  cannot  come  ? ' 

'  But  it 's  pressing  and  important.' 

'  I  tell  you  I  won't  come.' 

Then  at  the  top  of  his  voice  Tim  yelled  : — 

'  Will  a  small  woman  do  as  well,  your  honour .'' ' 

The  members  of  the  Bar  present,  quite  unaware  of  the 
previous  conversation,  exploded  in  a  shout  of  laughter,  and  it 
was  long  before  O'Connell  heard  the  last  of  the  invidious 
construction  they  put  on  the  affair. 


LAND  AGENT  IN  CORK  49 

One  of  the  interesting  people  I  came  across  in  the 
vicinity  of  Cork  was  Mr.  Jeffreys,  who  up  to  his  death  in 
1862  was  the  most  enterprising  and  experimental  landed 
proprietor  in  the  county.  He  imported  Scottish  stewards, 
and  people  from  far  and  near  came  to  see  his  farms. 

I  should  say  that  in  the  fifties  he  did  more  for  agriculture 
than  any  other  one  man  who  could  be  named  in  Ireland. 

He  often  said  to  me  : — 

*  The  system  of  small  farms  will  not  last  long  in  Ireland, 
for  the  occupiers  are  sure  to  strike  against  rents.' 

He  did  not  live  to  see  the  fulfilment  of  his  prophecy,  but 
its  effects  were  felt  by  his  grandson,  Sir  George  Colthurst, 
who  inherited  his  property. 

Most  of  his  stories  were  very  improper,  but  their  wit 
excused  them. 

In  the  Kildare  Street  Club  one  day  he  saw  a  very  pompous 
individual,  and  asked  who  he  was. 

*  That 's  So-and-So,  and  the  odd  thing  is  he  is  the  youngest 
of  four  brothers,  who  are  all  married  without  having  a  child 
between  them.' 

'  Ah,  that  accounts  for  his  importance — he  is  the  last  of 
the  Barons.' 

,  Finding  him  very  meditative  in  the  County  Club  at  Cork 
one  Friday,  I  asked  him  what  was  the  matter. 

'  I  am  making  my  soul,'  said  he.  '  I  began  my  dinner 
with  turbot  and  ended  with  scollops.' 


CHAPTER    VI 


FAMINE     AND    FEVER 


It  is  now  necessary  to  revert  to  that  terrible  page  of  Irish 
history,  the  famine,  which  culminated  in  what  is  still  known  as 
*  the  black  forty-seven.' 

I  have  often  been  asked,  '  How  is  it  that  Ireland  could 
formerly  support  a  population  of  eight  millions  as  compared 
with  only  five  now  ?  ' 

The  answer  is  simple  :  Eight  millions  could  still  exist  if  the 
potato  crop  were  a  certainty,  and  if  the  people  were  now 
content  to  exist  as  they  did  then.  But  to  the  then  existing 
population — living  at  best  in  a  light-hearted  and  hopeful,  hand- 
to-mouth  contentment — there  was  a  terrible  awakening. 

The    mysterious    blight,    which    had    affected    the    potato 
in    America   in    1844,   had   not   been  felt    in    Ireland,   where 
the    harvest   for    1845    promised   to   be   singularly   abundant. 
Suddenly,  almost  without  warning,   the  later  crop  shrivelled - 
and  wasted. 

The  poor  had  a  terribly  hard  winter,  and  the  farmers 
borrowed  heavily  to  have  means  to  till  a  larger  amount  of 
land  in  1846. 

Once  more  the  early  prospects  were  admirable,  and  then  in 
a  single  night  whole  districts  were  blighted. 

This  is  how  Mr.  Steuart  Trench  described  the  cata- 
strophe : — 

'On  August   I,   1846,   I   was  startled  by   a   sudden  and 


50 


FAMINE  AND  FEVER  51 

strange  rumour  that  all  the  potato  fields  in  the  district  were 
blighted,  and  that  a  stench  had  arisen  emanating  from  their 
decaying  stalk.  The  report  was  true,  the  stalks  being 
withered  ;  and  a  new,  strange  stench  was  to  be  noticed  which 
became  a  well-known  feature  in  '  the  blight '  for  years  after. 
On  being  dug  up  it  was  found  that  the  potato  was  rapidly 
blackening  and  melting  away.  The  stench  generally  was  the 
first  indication,  the  withered  leaf  following  in  a  day  or  two.' 

The  terrible  sufferings  which  ensued  were  complicated  by 
some  blunders  of  British  statesmen. 

In  1845  Sir  Robert  Peel  was  Prime  Minister.  He 
imported  Indian  meal,  and  established  depots  in  the  country, 
where  it  was  sold  to  the  people  at  the  lowest  possible  price, 
thus  putting  a  complete  check  on  private  enterprise. 

In  1846  Lord  John  Russell  was  Premier.  He  declined  to 
follow  the  example  of  Sir  Robert  Peel,  because  he  considered 
that  it  interfered  with  Free  Trade,  and,  reversing  the  policy  of 
his  predecessor,  announced  that  he  left  the  importation  of  meal 
to  private  enterprise. 

But  capitalists  having  been  alarmed,  meal  was  not  imported 
in  sufficient  quantities,  with  the  result  that  Indian  corn  rose  to 
eighteen  pounds  a  ton,  when  it  might  have  been  laid  in   at 
•  the  rate  of  eight  pounds  a  ton. 

Had  Lord  John  Russell's  policy  come  first,  and  that  of 
Sir  Robert  Peel  subsequently,  the  result  would  have  been  very 
different. 

The  fight  over  the  Corn  Law  question  in  England  at  the 
time  was  decidedly  an  injury  to  Ireland,  because  the  Pro- 
tectionists minimised  the  danger  of  famine  in  the  winter  of 
1845  for  fear  of  the  calamity  being  made  a  pretext  for 
Free  Trade. 

Dealing  with  an  unforeseen  calamity  of  such  stupendous 


52    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

magnitude  at  long  range  from  Downing  Street  entailed 
delay ;  and  public  relief,  waiting  until  official  investigation 
had  tardily  reported  the  hardships,  suffered  in  the  truly 
distressful  country. 

The  state  of  things  round  Bantry,  of  which  I  had  accurate 
knowledge,  was  appalling.  I  knew  of  twenty-three  deaths  in 
the  poorhouse  in  twenty-four  hours.  Again,  on  a  relief  road, 
two  hours  after  I  had  passed,  on  my  ride  home  I  saw  three  of 
the  poor  fellows  stretched  corpses  on  the  stones  they  had  been 
breaking. 

The  Registrar-General  for  Ireland,  Mr  William  Donelly, 
officially  stated  that  five  hundred  thousand  one-roomed  cabins 
had  disappeared  between  the  census  before  the  famine  and  the 
one  after  it. 

Whole  families  used  to  starve  in  their  cabins  without  their 
plight  being  discovered  until  the  stench  of  their  decaying  corpses 
attracted  notice. 

Some  superstition  also  prevented  even  the  children  from 
eating  the  myriads  of  blackberries  which  ripened  on  the 
bushes. 

Directly  the  calamity  was  comprehended,  the  English 
poured  money  into  the  country  with  unbounded  generosity, 
but  the  management  was  bad. 

The  relief  works  organised  by  the  Government  took  the 
form  of  draining  and  road-making.  This  entailed  delay, 
owing  to  the  preliminary  surveying,  and  when  employment 
could  be  given,  the  people  were  too  emaciated  and  feeble  to 
work.  All  over  Ireland  unfinished  roads  leading  half  way  to 
places  of  no  consequence  are  to-day  grass-grown  memorials 
of  that  ghastly  effort  of  State  assistance. 

Almost  the  earliest  of  the  private  soup-kitchens  for  the 
relief  of  the  sufferers  was  that  opened  at  Dingle  under  the 


FAMINE  AND  FEVER  53 

joint  initiative  of  Lady  Ventry,  Mrs.  Hickson,  my  future 
mother-in-law,  and  Mrs.  Hussey,  my  mother.  So  as  not  to 
pauperise  the  people,  subscriptions  of  one  penny  a  week  were 
asked  from  every  house  in  the  town.  At  ten  in  the  morning 
those  who  wanted  it  could  get  a  pint  per  head  of  really 
excellent  soup  for  themselves  and  their  families.  Those  who 
were  known  to  be  able  to  pay  had  to  contribute  a  penny  ;  the 
really  destitute  had  gratuitous  relief. 

So  bad  was  the  famine  that  people  coming  in  from  the 
country  fell  in  the  street  never  to  rise  again.  One  woman 
was  found  lying  on  the  outskirts  of  the  town  almost  dead 
from  starvation,  her  three  children  having  succumbed  beside 
her,  and  had  she  not  been  carried  to  the  soup-kitchen  she 
would  not  have  survived  them  many  hours. 

My  wife  well  remembers  another  case.  One  day  her 
mother  emerged  from  a  cabin  carrying  what  looked  like  a  big 
bundle  of  clothes.  It  was  the  form  of  an  emaciated  woman, 
whose  four  children  and  husband  had  all  starved.  My 
mother-in-law  took  her  to  her  own  house,  fed  her  at  first 
with  spoonsful  of  soup,  and  kept  her  there  until  she  had  rebuilt 
her  once  vigorous  constitution. 

My  wife  subsequently  recollects  her  as  a  hale,  buxom, 
young  widow  coming  to  say  good-bye  before  emigrating  to 
America. 

Very  soon  all  the  coffins  had  been  exhausted,  and  in  many 
places  the  dead  were  taken  to  the  graves  and  dropped  in 
through  the  hinged  bottom  of  a  trap-coffin. 

After  soup  had  been  introduced,  Indian  meal  stirabout 
proved  efficacious,  and  it  was  distributed  from  large  iron 
boilers  set  up  by  the  roadside  to  the  gaunt,  cadaverous  wretches 
who  scuffled  for  the  sustenance. 

Even  more  terrible   than  those  privations  was  the  fever 


54   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

which  supervened.  Apart  from  the  Jack  of  food,  a  great 
cause  of  mortality  lay  in  the  change  of  diet.  Potatoes  form  a 
bulky  article  of  food,  and  stirabout,  unless  very  carefully 
made,  used  to  swell  after  it  was  consumed.  Many,  too,  ate 
raw  turnips  from  sheer  destitution,  and  these  also  caused 
swelling  of  the  stomach  as  well  as  a  dysentery  almost  always 
fatal  in  a  few  days. 

Numbers  of  starving  Catholics  had  gone  to  Protestant 
clergymen  and  offered  to  become  converts  in  return  for  food, 
and  when  some  of  these  sickened  with  the  fever,  the  priests 
declared  it  was  a  judgment  on  them,  and  religious  hostility 
became  intensified. 

At  Dingle  Lady  Ventry  and  her  helpers  were  denounced 
from  the  pulpits  as  '  benevolent  sisters  bent  on  superising  the 
poor ' — to  superise  being  the  improvised  verb  for  Protestant- 
ising, a  thing  they  decidedly  did  not  attempt. 

A  very  early  instance  of  the  open-air  cure  never  before 
recorded  took  place  at  Lismore.  When  every  possible  place 
in  the  hospital  had  been  filled  with  fever  patients,  a  number 
had  to  be  lodged  in  a  disused  quarry  near  the  Blackwater,  and 
of  the  latter  not  a  single  sufferer  died,  though  the  mortality 
within  doors  was  excessive. 

I  remember  one  rather  quaint  incident. 

A  large  amount  of  sea  biscuit  was  brought  into  a  house 
for  distribution  by  a  benevolent  gentleman.  His  daughter, 
aged  seven,  surreptitiously  stole  a  biscuit  for  the  purpose  of 
eating  it.  But  at  the  first  attempt  to  bite  the  tough  thing, 
out  came  a  loose  tooth.  She  howled  with  fright,  thinking  it 
a  judgment  on  her  for  her  misdeed,  and  went  in  tears  to  tell 
her  mother. 

I  have  always  hoped  the  latter  had  enough  sense  of 
humour  to  laugh  at  the  incident,  but  my  shrewd  suspicion 


FAMINE  AND  FEVER  S5 

is  that  she  improved  the  occasion — an  error  for  which  there 
is  always  temptation,  and  on  which  there  is  often  the  retri- 
bution of  the  few  words  having  the  opposite  effect  to  that 
intended. 

The  conduct  of  the  landlords  during  the  famine  and  fever 
has  been  much  discussed  and  variously  represented.  But 
many  of  the  Nationalists  themselves  have  -declared  that  the 
diatribes  of  their  comrades  have  been  thoroughly  undeserved. 
Absenteeism  apart — for  which  no  excuse  need  be  attempted — 
the  Irish  landlords  did  their  best,  gave  of  their  substance,  and 
imperilled  their  own  lives  for  the  sake  of  the  sufferers.  Mr. 
Richard  White  of  Inchiclogh,  near  Bantry,  fell  a  victim  to  the 
fever.  Two  other  landlords  who  gave  their  lives  for  others 
were  Mr.  Richard  Martin,  M.P.,  and  Mr.  Nolan  of  Ballin- 
derry.  The  conditions  of  tenure  did  not  admit  of  lavish 
financial  generosity,  but  as  one  of  their  sharpest  critics  in  later 
times  admitted,  the  vast  majority  '  went  down  with  the  ship.' 

The  survivors  of  this  terrible  time  numbered  heroes  drawn 
from  all  classes  of  life  ;  and  it  would  have  been  well  if  the 
lesson  of  universal  charity  then  practically  demonstrated  had 
been  allowed  to  sink  into  all  hearts. 

Instead  I  will  quote  the  following  extract  from  John 
Mitchel's  History  of  Ireland,  a  thick,  paper-bound  volume, 
which,  at  the  price  of  eighteenpence,  has  circulated  enormously 
among  the  Irish,  not  only  at  home,  but  in  Glasgow  and 
America. 

On  page  243  : — '  That  million  and  a  half  of  men,  women, 
and  children  were  carefully,  prudently,  and  peacefully  slain  * 
[the  italics  are  those  of  Mitchel]  *  by  the  English  Government. 
They  died  of  hunger  in  the  midst  of  abundance  which  their 
own  hands  created  ;  and  it  is  quite  immaterial  to  distinguish 
those  who  perished  in  the  agonies  of  famine  itself  from  those 


56    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

who  died  by  typhus  fever,  which  in  Ireland  is  always  caused 
by  famine. 

*  Further,  this  was  strictly  an  artificial  famine — that  is  to 
say,  it  was  a  famine  which  desolated  a  rich  and  fertile  island 
that  produced  every  year  abundance  and  superabundance  to 
sustain  all  her  people  and  many  more.  The  English,  indeed, 
call  that  famine  a  dispensation  of  Providence,  and  ascribe  it 
entirely  to  the  blight  of  the  potatoes.  But  potatoes  failed  in 
like  manner  all  over  Europe,  yet  there  was  no  famine  save  in 
Ireland.  The  British  account  of  the  matter,  then,  is  first  a 
fraud  ;  second,  a  blasphemy.  The  Almighty,  indeed,  sent  the 
potato  blight,  but  the  English  created  the  famine.' 

Such  pestilential  perversion  of  truth  is  freely  circulated  and 
firmly  believed,  for  contradiction  never  penetrates  to  those 
gulled  by  these  lies.  In  America  the  gutter  press  section  of 
journalism  is  esteemed  at  its  true  worth,  and  is  as  harmless  as 
a  few  squibs.  In  Ireland  what  is  seen  in  bad  print  is  always 
believed,  and  is  corroborated  by  the  lower  class  of  priest. 
When  I  say  so  much  I  am  simply  indicating  a  national  sore,  but  it 
needs  a  wiser  physician  than  myself  to  apply  a  successful  remedy. 

Perhaps  with  the  spread  of  education  may  arise  the  same 
power  to  discriminate  between  the  true  and  false  published  in 
the  papers  that  is  a  characteristic  of  both  the  English  and 
Scottish.  As  it  is,  the  Irishman  believes  whatever  he  reads  in 
print  ;  and  in  most  cases  the  solitary  paper  that  he  reads  is  one 
full  of  treason  and  untruths. 

When  the  famine  took  place,  the  Irish  fled  as  from  a 
plague  to  America,  and  when  they  landed  there  both  men  and 
women  were  the  prey  of  every  blackguard  without  a  single 
person  to  advise  or  protect  them. 

Had  the  Government  taken  the  movement  in  hand  and 
employed  agents  at  New  York  to  provide  for  them  until  they 


FAMINE  AND  FEVER  57 

obtained  employment,  and  to  direct  them  where  to  apply  for 
it,  England  would  to-day  probably  have  had  a  grateful  nation 
on  the  other  side  of  the  Atlantic.  Instead,  we  have  a  hostile 
multitude  which  neglects  no  opportunity  of  voting  for  any 
politician  hostile  to  Great  Britain  ;  and  this  disaffection  sadly 
militates  against  that  union  of  Anglo-Saxon  hearts,  which  is 
so  freely  accepted  by  journalists  and  politicians  as  a  sort  of 
millennium. 

Miss  Cobbe  related  a  story  about  a  steady-going  girl  who 
had  received  money  from  her  sister  who  was  doing  well  in 
New  York  to  pay  her  passage  money  out. 

She  told  Miss  Cobbe  how  she  had  been  to  an  emigration 
office  and  booked  her  passage. 

'  Direct  to  New  York,  of  course.' 

'  Well  no,  Miss.  But  to  some  place  close  by,  New  some- 
thing else.* 

'  New  something  else  near  New  York  ? ' 

'  Yes  ;  I  disremember  what  it  was,  but  he  said  it  was  quite 
handy  for  New  York.' 

'  Not  New  Orleans,  surely  ? ' 

*  Yes,  Miss,  that  was  it.  New  Orleans,  quite  near  New 
York,'  he  said. 

The  scoundrelly  agent  had  taken  her  passage  money  and 
sent  her  off  absolutely  friendless  to  New  Orleans,  where  she 
died  of  a  fever  in  less  than  a  year. 

Many  of  the  three  million  emigrants  after  the  famine  must 
have  been  as  easily  duped. 

A  considerable  time  ago  (but  if  I  were  in  Kerry  I  could 
give  the  date  from  my  diary,  because  I  met  the  man  at  a 
dinner  given  at  the  St.  James's  Club  by  Lord  Kenmare's 
son-in-law,  Mr.  Douglas)  one  of  the  big  New  World  railway 
companies  sent  over  an  emissary  to  the  British  Government. 


58    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

He  was  charged  to  offer  to  take  every  distressed  man  in 
Ireland,  with  his  priest — if  he  would  go — piper,  cat,  wife, 
sister,  mother,  and  children,  to  the  land  through  which  the 
great  railway  ran.  Each  man  was  to  be  given  a  log-house 
with  three  rooms,  one  hundred  and  sixty  acres,  ten  of  them 
under  cultivation,  and  no  residence  was  to  be  more  than  ten 
miles  from  a  railway  station.  All  that  was  asked  in  return 
was  a  loan  for  ten  years  without  interest  to  cover  the  expenses 
of  transportation. 

I  rather  think  Mr.  Chichester  Fortescue  was  the  Chief 
Secretary.  Anyhow,  whoever  occupied  that  post  urged  the 
Cabinet  to  accept  the  offer.  The  conclave  wavered,  but 
Mr.  Gladstone  firmly  vetoed  the  idea.  He  was  afraid  the 
plan  would  be  unpopular  with  the  priests,  who  would  see 
themselves  bereft  of  the  favourite  members  of  their  con- 
gregations. 

Instead  of  this  admirable  scheme,  we  have  ever  since  had 
the  pitiable  sight  of  the  parents,  the  sisters,  and  the  sweetheart 
crooning  over  the  emigration  of  the  best  able-bodied  young 
men  from  Ireland. 

No  one  who  has  heard  the  keening  and  wailing,  say  at 
Limerick  Junction,  over  Paddy  going  over  the  water  will 
forget  the  appealing  sorrow  of  the  scene,  the  sound  of  which 
rings  long  in  one's  ears  after  the  train  has  gone  out  of  sight. 

The  emigrant  has  been  the  theme  of  song  and  story.  He 
has  also  been  one  of  the  finest  recruits  of  the  United  States, 
whilst  he  is  a  stigma  on  English  politics,  and  a  drain  on  the 
land  which  in  all  Europe  can  least  afford  to  spare  him. 

Mr.  Wyndham's  new  Act  will  not  arrest  emigration,  indeed 
it  will  probably  increase  it. 

At  present  the  landlord  is  often  able  to  put  pressure  on 
his  tenants  to  give  employment  to  respectable  men.     But  the 


FAMINE  AND  FEVER  59 

small  farmer  is  certain  to  use  as  few  men  as  possible.  You 
can  see  the  analogy  in  contemporary  France.  Therefore  more 
families  will  see  the  pride  of  their  cabins  starting  for  the  New 
World. 

Perhaps  what  I  am  proudest  of,  was  being  called  in  an 
address  in  Kerry  '  the  poor  man's  friend,'  for  it  is  what  I  have 
always  striven  to  be. 

But  if  I  were  to  be  a  young  man  to-morrow,  instead  of 
a  day  older  than  I  am  to-day,  I  should  be  powerless  to  merit 
such  a  title  in  years  to  come. 

And  the  reason,  as  I  have  just  indicated,  is  the  fault  of  the 
Government. 

I  sometimes  think  the  canniest  man  of  whom  I  ever  heard 
was  the  old  Scottish  minister  who  was  accustomed  to  preface 
his  extempore  petition  with  the  words  : — 

*  My  britheren,  let  us  noo  pray  that  the  High  Court  of 
Parliament  winna  do  ony  harm.' 


CHAPTER   VII 


FENIANISM 


I  AM  quite  aware  the  opinion  I  am  about  to  deliver  will  cause 
great  surprise,  but  I  give  it  after  mature  consideration,  sup- 
ported by  all  my  knowledge  of  Ireland. 

It  is  this  : — 

The  old  Fenianism  was  politically  of  little  account,  socially 
of  no  danger,  except  to  a  few  individuals  who  could  be  easily 
protected,  and  has  been  grossly  exaggerated,  either  wilfully  or 
through  ignorance. 

Matters  were  very  different  after  Mr.  Gladstone,  by 
successive  acts,  of  what  I  maintain  were  criminal  legislation, 
deliberately  fostered  treason  and  encouraged  outrage  in 
Ireland. 

Irish  agitation  would  never  have  reached  genuine  im- 
portance unless  it  had  been  steadily  assisted  in  its  noisome 
growth  by  the  so-called  Grand  Old  Man,  at  whose  grave  may 
be  laid  every  calamity  which  has  affected  Ireland  since  it  had 
the  misfortune  to  arouse  his  interest,  and  the  ill  effects  of 
whose  demoralising  interference  will  bear  fruit  for  many  years 
to  come. 

This  is  set  down  in  sober  earnest  and  in  as  unprejudiced  a 
spirit  as  it  is  possible  for  any  sincerely  patriotic — using  the 
word  in  its  true  and  not  in  its  debased  meaning — Irishman  to 
feel  when  he  is  thoroughly  acquainted  with  all  the  niceties  of 
the  national  history  for  the  past  sixty  years. 


60 


FENIANISM  6 1 

I  am  far  from  saying  that  subsequent  British  cabinets  have 
always  understood  the  Irish  questions,  but  they  are  at  least 
only  reaping  the  whirlwind  where  Mr.  Gladstone  sowed  the 
wind. 

I  would  broadly  characterise  as  Fenian  every  Irish  out- 
break or  ebullition  in  the  nineteenth  century  up  to  the  time 
of  the  baneful  influence  of  the  man  who  conducted  the 
Midlothian  campaign. 

Half  the  tumultuous  efforts  of  the  earlier  movements 
would  have  been  rendered  ridiculous  had  it  been  possible  to 
have  them  contemporaneously  examined  by  a  few  special  cor- 
respondents. I  can  imagine  the  representative  of  the  Daily 
Mail  finding  material  for  very  few  sensational  headlines  in 
the  Whiteboys  Insurrection. 

As  for  the  tales  of  single-handed  terrorism,  these  in  Ireland 
did  nursery  duty  to  alarm  imaginative  children,  just  as  the 
adventures  of  Dick  Turpin  and  Jack  Sheppard  or  the  kid- 
napping of  heirs  by  gipsies  serve  as  stories  to  thrill  English 
little  ones. 

Of  course  in  1789  to  have  killed  three  Protestants  was 
counted  a  passport  into  heaven  in  the  vicinity  of  Vinegar 
Hill.  But  Father  Matthew's  temperance  crusade  was  worth 
more  salvation  to  the  nation,  and  mere  threatening  letters 
count  for  nothing.  I  have  had  over  one  hundred  in  my  time, 
yet  I  '11  die  in  my  bed  for  all  that. 

My  father-in-law  had  a  pretty  solid  contempt  for  the 
Whiteboys — not  the  original  breed,  but  those  who  assumed 
the  title  in  Kerry  early  in  the  nineteenth  century. 

He  was  told  that  these  miscreants  had  a  plan  to  surround 
his  house  that  night  and  to  shoot  everybody  in  it,  and  at  that 
very  moment  they  were  confabulating  at  a  certain  farmhouse. 

Refusing  to  be  escorted  or  guarded,  he  made  his  way  to 


62    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

that  farm,  and  walking  into  the  kitchen,  rated  the  lot  of  them 
in  unmeasured  terms. 

Cowed  and  abashed  they  listened  to  him  as  he  threatened 
the  law,  hell,  and  the  devil  alone  knows  what  beside.  Finally, 
pistol  in  hand,  he  bade  them  produce  their  arms  and  put  them 
in  his  dog-cart. 

This  they  actually  did — for  they  had  imbibed  no  liquor 
to  give  them  false  pluck — and,  with  a  final  curse,  he  whipped 
up  his  horse  and  drove  away  '  with  all  their  teeth '  to  the 
barracks,  where  he  left  a  very  useful  arsenal,  and  was  never 
troubled  by  one  of  them  again. 

To  thus  obtain  complete  immunity  by  sheer  coolness  is  as 
much  a  matter  of  personal  magnetism  as  anything  else.  An 
instance  of  this,  which  impressed  me  much,  occurred  in  a  coiner- 
ghost  story  told  by  Mr,  T,  P.  O'Connor,  which  I  venture  to 
quote, 

'  The  hero  was  no  less  a  person  than  Marshal  Saxe.  One 
night,  on  the  march,  he  bivouacked  in  a  haunted  castle,  and 
slept  the  sleep  of  the  brave  until  midnight,  when  he  was 
awakened  by  hideous  howls  heralding  the  approach  of  the 
spectre.  When  it  appeared,  the  Marshal  first  discharged  his 
pistol  point-blank  at  it  without  effect,  and  then  struck  it  with  his 
sabre,  which  was  shivered  in  his  hand.  The  invulnerable  spectre 
then  beckoned  the  amazed  Marshal  to  follow,  and  preceded 
him  to  a  spot  where  the  floor  of  the  gallery  suddenly  yawned, 
and  they  sank  together  through  it  to  sepulchral  depths.  Here 
he  was  surrounded  by  a  band  of  desperate  coiners  who  would 
forthwith  have  made  away  with  him  if  the  Marshal  had  not  told 
them  who  he  was,  and  warned  them  that  if  he  disappeared  his 
army  would  dig  to  the  earth's  centre  to  find  him,  and  would 
infallibly  find  and  finish  every  one  of  them. 

'"If  I  am  reconducted  to  my  chamber  by  this  steel-clad 


FENIANISM  63 

spectre  and  allowed  to  sleep  undisturbed  until  morning,  I 
promise  never  to  relate  this  adventure  while  any  harm  can 
happen  to  you  by  my  telling  it." 

'  To  this  the  coiners  after  consultation  agreed.  He  was  led 
back  to  bed,  and  next  morning  ridiculed  all  spectral  stories  to 
his  officers.  It  was  not  until  the  world  of  coiners  was  finally 
broken  up  that  he  related  his  experiences.' 

In  that  story  I  wonder  who  went  bail  for  the  Marshal's 
truth.  Veracity  and  gallantry  may  not  have  gone  hand  in 
hand,  or  perhaps  they  were  affianced,  and  therefore  took  care 
not  to  come  near  one  another. 

Another  sort  of  gallantry  was  noteworthy  in  what  was 
known  as  Young  Ireland,  for  in  '  the  set '  were  several  ladies, 
Eva,  Mary,  and  Speranza,  all  prone  to  write  seditious  verse. 
Eva  was  Miss  Mary  Kelly,  daughter  of  a  Galway  gentleman, 
who  promised  her  lover  to  wait  while  he  underwent  ten  years 
penal  servitude,  and  kept  her  word,  marrying  him  at  Kings- 
town two  days  after  his  release.  '  Mary '  was  Miss  Ellen 
Downing,  whose  lover  was  also  a  fugitive  after  the  out- 
break ;  but  he  proved  unfaithful,  and  she  was  one  of  the 
last  I  heard  of  who  died  of  pining  away.  It  used  to  be  much 
talked  of  in  my  young  days.  Perhaps  now  that  it  is  not,  it 
more  often  occurs.  '  Speranza '  was  Lady  Wilde,  a  fluent 
poet  and  essayist,  who  survived  her  husband  the  archasologist. 
One  of  her  children  inherited  much  of  her  talent,  but  bears  a 
chequered  fame.  I  always  thought  the  wit  of  Oscar  Wilde 
anything  but  Irish,  and  was  always  glad  it  possessed  no 
national  attributes — unless  impudence  was  one. 

At  one  of  his  own  first  nights  in  London  (I  think  it  was 
on  the  occasion  of  the  production  of  y^n  Ideal  Husband  at  the 
Haymarket)  he  was  summoned  before  the  curtain  by  the 
customary  shouts  for  '  Author,  author.' 


64   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

He  stood  there  for  a  moment  amid  the  cheering,  and  then, 
in  response  to  cries  for  a  speech,  calmly  took  a  cigarette  case 
out  of  his  pocket,  selected  one  of  the  contents,  and,  having 
very  deliberately  lighted  it,  said  : — 

'  Ladies  and  gentlemen,  I  do  not  know  what  you  have 
done,  but  I  have  spent  a  very  pleasant  evening  with  my  own 
play.     Good  night.' 

His  brother,  known  as  '  WufFalo  Will '  among  his  friends, 
is  the  hero  of  many  stories. 

Once  he  went  up  to  a  policeman  and  said  : — 

'  Which  is  the  way  to  heaven  .? ' 

'  I  don't  know,  sir  ;  better  ask  a  parson.' 

'  What  do  you  think  I  pay  taxes  for  ?  It 's  your  business 
to  be  able  to  tell  me  the  way  to  heaven.  As  for  the  bally 
parsons,  they  don't  understand.' 

A  broad  smile  came  over  the  constable's  face. 

'  Were  you  asking  where  you  could  get  blind  drunk 
comfortably,  sir  ?  because  if  so ■' 

And  out  came  the  hint  with  a  wink. 

Wilde  was  fond  of  that  tale  at  one  time. 

The  affair  of  '  '48 '  was  a  farce.  Stimulated  by  the 
French  Revolution,  John  Mitchel  wrote  rabid  sedition,  but 
received  short  shrift  at  the  hands  of  the  Government,  who 
arrested  him,  sentenced  him  to  fourteen  years'  transportation, 
and  almost  from  the  dock  he  was  taken  manacled  in  a  police 
van,  escorted  by  cavalry,  and  put  on  board  a  steamer,  which 
at  once  put  out  to  sea. 

Smith  O'Brien  was  the  leader  of  this  feeble  insurrection. 
He  had  boasted  he  would  be  at  the  head  of  fifty  thousand 
Tipperary  men.  Instead  his  army  consisted  of  a  few  hundred 
half-clad  ragamuffins,  which  attacked  a  squad  of  police  who 
took  refuge  in  a  farmhouse,  and  easily  routed  the  rabble. 


FENIANISM  65 

Smith  O'Brien  proved  himself  an  arrant  coward.  He  hid 
in  a  cabbage  garden,  and  is  still  believed  to  have  made  his 
temporary  escape  from  the  police  in  the  habit  of  an  Anglican 
sisterhood,  of  which  his  sister,  Hon.  Mrs.  Monsell,  was 
Mother  Superior. 

The  bigger  outbreak  was  not  a  bit  more  serious.  It  was 
all  trumped  up  by  the  Irish  in  America,  and  their  reliance 
upon  help  from  American  soldiers  was  destroyed  after  the 
war.  This  agitation  was  the  one  known  as  the  work  of  the 
Phoenix  Society,  and  the  object  was  the  separation  of  Ireland 
from  England  and  the  confiscation  of  Irish  property. 

The  leaders  were  James  Stephens,  who  had  nearly  escaped 
being  shot  by  a  policeman  in  the  Smith  O'Brien  campaign,  and 
that  indomitable  scoundrel  O'Donovan  Rossa.  It  was  at  this 
time  we  began  to  hear  of  mysterious  strangers.  In  this  case  it 
was  Stephens  ;  later  Parnell  wrapped  himself  in  strange  isolation  ; 
and  subsequently  Tynan,  who  was  known  as  'Number  One.' 

Cork  and  Kerry  were  the  chosen  parts  of  Ireland  for  the 
new  Fenianism  to  come  to  a  head,  and  a  certain  amount  of 
enrolling  and  drilling  did  take  place, 

I  was  then  residing  within  two  miles  of  the  city  of  Cork, 
arid  one  night  the  Fenians  came  out  and  encamped  all  round 
my  house,  without  offering  the  slightest  molestation  or  injury 
to  anybody. 

Two  Fenians  walked  into  the  house  of  my  stableman,  about 
a  quarter  of  a  mile  from  my  own,  and  asked  for  food,  saying 
they  were  ready  to  pay  for  it. 

The  woman  replied  that  she  had  no  food  in  the  house,  but 
the  breakfast  of  her  brother  Charles,  which  she  was  about  to 
take  to  him  in  the  stables. 

They  wanted  to  pay  her  a  shilling  for  it,  but  she  declined, 
and  then  they  went  away  quietly. 


ee    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

The  principal  outbreak  was  to  be  in  Killarney,  and  they 
plotted  to  attack  the  police  barrack  at  Cahirciveen,  because 
they  had  an  ally  in  the  son  of  the  head  constable. 

But  a  man  in  the  town,  to  whom  he  had  shown  kindness, 
warned  the  head  constable  of  the  attack,  which  in  the  end 
consisted  of  a  few  shots  fired  by  a  ragged  rabble  of  about  three 
hundred,  half  of  whom  were  half-hearted,  and  the  other  half 
half-drunk. 

The  coastguards  manned  their  boat  and  rowed  off  to  a 
gunboat  in  the  harbour  to  ask  for  some  marines  ;  and  the 
moment  this  was  known  to  the  besiegers  they  dispersed. 
Some  of  them  marched  rather  downcast  towards  Killarney, 
and  on  the  road  they  met  a  mounted  policeman  riding  to  warn 
Cahirciveen  of  the  attack  which  was  to  be  made  against  the 
barracks,  for  every  movement  of  this  silly  rebellion  was  known 
to  the  Government. 

They  called  on  the  man  to  stop  and  deliver  up  his 
despatches.  He  declined  to  do  so,  and  so  soon  as  he  had 
ridden  on  they  shot  him  in  the  back,  wounding  him  badly. 

He  recovered,  but  was  very  shabbily  treated  by  the 
Government,  who  only  awarded  him  a  miserably  small  pen- 
sion, a  niggardly  act  which  aroused  much  dissatisfaction. 

The  Roman  Catholic  Bishop  of  Killarney,  Doctor 
Moriarty,  protested  strongly  against  the  cowardice  of  the 
Fenians,  who  were  afraid  to  face  one  armed  man,  and  waited 
until  his  back  was  turned  before  they  shot  him. 

However,  as  I  have  indicated,  the  Fenian  movement  was 
very  insignificant,  and  was  known  in  all  its  aspects  to  the 
Government,  which  dealt  pretty  roughly  with  it. 

It  is  a  singular  fact  that  in  the  Fenian  councils  Killarney 
should  have  been  selected  for  the  outbreak. 

This  is  a  town  where   nearly   all  the  landed  proprietors 


FENIANISM  67 

were  Roman  Catholics,  where  there  was  a  Catholic  Bishop,  a 
monastery  and  two  convents,  while  one  half-ruined  Protestant 
church  sufficed  to  accommodate  the  few  worshippers  who  sat 
under  a  dreary,  inoffensive  vicar  on  a  very  small  salary.  All 
reasonable  folk,  moreover,  know  that  Killarney  is  the  town  to 
which,  more  than  any  other  in  Ireland,  it  is  important  to  attract 
British  tourists. 

It  was  well  known  that  some  of  the  promoters  and 
instigators  of  the  movement  betrayed  it  before  its  very 
inception  to  the  Government  ;  and  Bishop  Moriarty,  from 
his  pulpit,  in  his  sermon  alluded  in  no  measured  language  to 
those  criminals  who  instigated  the  innocent  peasants  to  play  a 
part  in  this  mock  insurrection,  and  then  betrayed  them. 

He  concluded  : — 

'  It  may  be  a  hard  saying,  but  surely  hell  is  not  too  hot 
nor  eternity  too  long  for  the  punishment  of  such  villainy.' 

Yet  the  whole  of  Irish  history  is  disfigured  by  the 
poisonous  trail  of  the  insidious  informer. 

I  was  in  Kerry  at  the  time  of  the  Cahirciveen  fizzle,  in  the 
neighbourhood  of  Dingle,  and  it  was  rumoured  that  the 
insurrection  was  to  be  general. 

That  was  not  my  opinion,  for  I  travelled  on  an  open  car 
by  myself,  with  a  large  quantity  of  money,  and  no  other 
weapon  than  an  umbrella. 

It  was  a  very  different  state  of  affairs  in  the  distress  caused 
by  Mr.  Gladstone's  legislation,  for  then  I  never  travelled 
without  a  revolver,  and  occasionally  was  accompanied  by  a 
Winchester  rifle.  I  used  to  place  my  revolver  as  regularly 
beside  my  fork  on  the  dinner-table,  either  in  my  own  or  in 
anybody  else's  house,  as  I  spread  my  napkin  on  my  knees. 

And  yet  it  is  strangely  difficult  to  see  any  other  cause  than 
Mr.  Gladstone's  Acts  for  such  ill-feeling. 


68    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

As  my  sworn  evidence,  on  which  I  was  cross-examined  in 
the  Parnell  Commission,  showed,  I  had  only  ten  evictions  in  six 
years  among  two  thousand  tenants. 

I  should  like  to  ask,  in  what  class  of  life  is  there  not  more 
than  one  in  twelve  hundred  that  gets  into  financial  troubles  in 
a  year  ? 

In  the  insurance  world  such  a  ratio  of  claims  to  premiums 
would  make  a  perfect  fortune  to  the  companies. 

The  tenants  were  not  associated  with  the  Fenian  move- 
ment at  all,  the  outbreak  being  solely  confined  to  the  towns- 
folk, which,  in  Ireland,  helped  to  make  it  a  feeble  affair.  I 
did  not  know  one  bona  fide  farmer  that  was  connected  with  the 
movement,  and  though  the  arms  were  mainly  smuggled  in  from 
America,  mighty  little  hard  cash  came  to  the  pockets  of  any 
but  the  leaders. 

Stephens  was  the  original  '  Number  One,'  and  he  was  let 
out  of  Kilmainham  by  the  chief  warder's  wife.  No  one  knew 
where  he  was  to  be  found,  but  the  police,  who  were  well  aware 
that  he  was  devoted  to  his  own  wife,  kept  a  strict  watch  on 
her,  and  eventually  caught  him  through  his  opening  communi- 
cations with  her. 

When  the  hue  and  cry  was  loudest,  it  was  reported  he  had 
come  to  Cork  to  foster  the  Fenian  movement,  and  that  he  was 
disguised  in  feminine  garb. 

One  day  my  wife  found  her  steps  dogged  by  a  man  in  the 
most  aggravating  way,  for  he  followed  her  into  three  shops 
without  attempting  to  speak  to  her,  his  only  desire  being  to 
shadow  her,  which  he  was  doing  in  the  most  clumsy  manner. 

I  was  away  at  Dingle  for  the  day,  so  my  wife  went  into 
the  establishment  of  the  leading  linen-draper,  and  sending  for 
the  head  of  the  firm,  asked  him  to  speak  to  the  man,  who  was 
then  pretending  to  buy  some  tape. 


FENIANISM  69 

It  turned  out  that  he  was  a  detective  fresh  from  Dublin,  who 
had  taken  it  into  his  head  that  she  was  Stephens,  and  was  most 
apologetic,  as  well  as  crestfallen,  at  his  error. 

Some  time  after  this  Fenian  fizzle,  my  coachman  saw  a 
number  of  people  being  chased  by  the  police  for  drilling  ;  and 
about  two  years  later,  when  I  sent  him  to  the  Cork  barracks 
on  private  business,  he  told  me  that  he  there  noticed  some  of 
the  very  people  who  had  been  routed  by  the  constabulary, 
but  this  time  they  were  being  drilled  by  the  Government 
as  militia. 

I  have  always  had  a  theory  that  Ireland  was  created  by 
Providence  for  the  express  purpose  of  bothering  philosophers, 
and  preventing  them  or  politicians  from  thinking  themselves 
too  wise. 

At  the  time  when  the  Fenian  scare  was  damaging  Killarney 
as  a  tourist  resort.  Sir  Michael  Morris — as  he  then  was — was 
staying  at  Morley's  Hotel  in  London,  and  saw  in  the  Ameri- 
can paper  lying  on  the  table  a  vivid  account  of  how  the  Fenian 
army  had  attacked  a  British  garrison,  and  would  have  easily 
captured  the  stronghold  had  not  an  overpowering  force  of 
English  cavalry  and  artillery  hurried  up  to  deliver  the  besieged. 

Of  course,  the  facts  were,  that  in  County  Limerick 
several  hundred  '  patriots,'  led  by  a  man  in  a  green  calico 
uniform,  attacked  a  police  barrack  in  which  were  five  constables. 
Keeping  as  much  out  of  range  of  the  constabulary  fire  as 
possible,  they  had  exchanged  a  few  shots  when  a  District 
Inspector  of  Police,  who  resided  some  eight  miles  off,  arrived 
with  ten  constables  on  a  couple  of  cars,  at  the  sight  of  which 
stupendous  relieving  force,  the  whole  corps  of  young  Irishmen 
bolted. 

Morris  gave  the  waiter  a  shilling  for  the  paper — and  took 
it  off  his  tip  at  leaving,  no  doubt — and  carefully   treasured 


70   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

the  journal  until  he  went  to  hold  the  next  assizes  at  Limerick, 
when  he  found  the  bulk  of  the  attacking  army  in  the  dock 
before  him. 

When  the  D.  I.  was  giving  evidence,  Morris  asked  him : — 
'  Where  were  the  British  cavalry  ? ' 
'  What  cavalry,  my  lord  ?     Why,  there  was  none,* 
'  Oh  ho,'  says  the  judge.     '  And  where  was  the  artillery.'' ' 
'  Faith,  my  lord,  there  was  as  much  artillery  as  there  was 
cavalry,  and  that  would  not  get  in  the  way  of  a  donkey  race.' 

Then   Morris,   with   appropriate   solemnity,   proceeded  to 
read  out  the  newspaper  account  for  the  benefit  of  the  audience. 
The  whole  Court  was  convulsed  with  laughter,  in  which  the 
prisoners  in  the  dock  heartily  joined. 

After  the  trial  was  over,  a  parish  priest  came  to  congratu- 
late Morris,  and  said  to  him  : — 

*  My  lord,  you  have  laughed  Fenianism  out  of  Limerick.' 


•^li^S^Wi 


CHAPTER   VIII 

MYSELF,    SOME    FACTS,    AND    MANY    STORIES 

In  1850  I  became  agent  to  the  Colthurst  property,  which 
consisted  of  most  of  the  parish  of  Bally  vourney,  one  estate  alone 
containing  about  twenty-three  thousand  acres.  The  rental 
was  then  over  ^4600.  There  were  only  three  slated  houses 
on  the  property,  hardly  any  out-buildings,  only  seven  miles  of 
road  under  contract,  and  about  twenty  acres  planted. 

By  1880  the  landlord  had  expended  _^ 30,000  on  improve- 
ments, there  were  over  one  hundred  slated  houses,  about  sixty 
miles  of  roads,  and  over  four  hundred  acres  planted. 

Under  the  Land  Act  of  1881  the  rent  was  reduced  to 
^3600. 

That  was  the  encouragement  officially  given  to  the  land- 
lord for  assisting  in  the  improvement  of  his  property. 

From  the  time  of  Moses  downwards,  the  policy  of  all 
Governments  has  been  to  give  relief  to  the  debtor.  By  the 
Encumbered  Estate  Act,  which  was  passed  just  after  the 
famine,  special  relief  was  given  to  the  creditor. 

What  the  English  view  was  may  be  taken  from  the  Times : — 

'  In  a  few  years  more,  a  Celtic  Irishman  will  be  as  rare  in 
Connemara  as  is  the  Red  Indian  on  the  shores  of  Manhattan.' 

That  is  to  say,  English  capital  was  at  last  to  flow  into 
Ireland  for  the  purchase  of  encumbered  estates,  but  the 
anticipation  of  course  was  erroneous. 

English  capital  was  placed  for  preference  in  Turkish  and 

71 


72    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

in  Egyptian  bonds,  to  the  great  loss  of  all  concerned.  As  for 
Ireland,  out  of  the  first  twenty  millions  realised  by  the  new 
Court,  over  seventeen  was  Irish  money  ;  and  at  the  outset 
there  was  an  inevitable  downward  tendency  of  prices  which 
involved  heavy  depreciation. 

Credit  was  destroyed  in  Ireland,  and  every  man  who  owed 
a  shilling  was  utterly  ruined.  Had  the  Government  given 
loans  at  a  reasonable  rate  of  interest,  which  would  have  amply 
repaid  them,  all  this  could  have  been  saved.  As  it  was,  pro- 
perties were  sold  like  chairs  and  tables  at  a  paltry  auction,  and 
in  thousands  of  cases  the  judge  expressed  himself  satisfied  that 
the  rent  could  have  been  considerably  increased. 

I  knew  one  unfortunate  shopkeeper  who  paid  ^6000 
for  a  property  under  these  circumstances ;  and  in  place  of  an 
increase  of  rent,  the  confiscators — that  is  to  say  the  com- 
missioners imposed  by  Mr.  Gladstone — took  a  third  of  the 
rental  off  him. 

Those  purchasers  who  were  English  conceived  when  they 
bought  properties  that  they  would  get  as  much  from  them  as 
the  solvent  tenants  were  willing  to  pay.  The  legislation  of 
Mr.  Gladstone  in  coalition  with  the  blunderbuss  soon  put  an 
end  to  the  pleasing  delusion.  It  was  one  more  of  the  English 
mistakes  about  Ireland,  where,  when  the  tenant  is  content  to 
pay,  the  British  Government  and  the  Land  League  both  com- 
bine to  prevent  him  from  offering  a  reasonable  rent  to  a 
landlord. 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  even  the  most  seditionary  organs 
confessed  that  the  tenants  gained  little  and  lost  much  by  the 
change  from  the  old  type  of  landlord  to  the  new,  for  the  latter, 
being  practical  men,  had  no  sympathy  for  the  man  who  was 
permanently  behindhand  with  his  rent.  And  no  one  can  say 
that  this  habitual  arrear  was  a  healthy  stimulus  to  the  moral 


MYSELF,  SOME  FACTS,  AND  MANY  STORIES     73 

wellbeing  of  the  tenant  himself,  though  he  felt  aggrieved  at 
its  being  checked. 

There  is  not  the  least  need  to  sketch  how  I  gradually 
became  one  of  the  largest  land  agents  in  Ireland.  It  has  been 
published  in  other  books,  and  would  only  prove  wearisome  if 
set  out  in  detail  in  this  volume.  So  I  will  merely  observe  that 
only  two  years  after  the  big  Fenian  rising,  as  it  was  called — 
which  I  should  describe  as  being  composed  of  a  rabble  of  less 
importance  than  the  ragamuffins  led  by  Wat  Tyler — so  little 
was  I  impressed  by  its  magnitude  that  I  went  to  live  at  Eden- 
burn.  There  I  laid  out  a  lot  of  money  in  rebuilding  the 
house,  spending  over  ^^2000  in  additions.  This  was  most 
idiotic  of  me,  because  I  had  not  counted  on  the  infernal 
devices  of  Mr.  Gladstone  to  render  Ireland  uninhabitable  for 
peaceful  and  law-abiding  folk. 

When  I  first  settled  down  there,  labourers  were  working 
at  eightpence  or  tenpence  a  day.  Now  the  lowest  rate  is  two 
shillings.  The  labourer  rectified  this  rate  by  emigration,  and 
if  the  farmers,  who  could  more  advantageously  have  emigrated, 
had  done  so,  the  cry  for  compulsory  reduction  would  never 
have  arisen. 

Thus  far  I  have  dealt  with  facts  and  myself  as  concerned  in 
them,  but  I  propose  now  to  relate  a  few  stories,  a  thing  more 
congenial  to  my  temperament  than  any  other  form  of  conver- 
sational exercise.  Whether  it  will  equally  commend  itself  to 
the  reader  is  a  matter  on  which  I,  as  an  aged  novice  in  litera- 
ture, though  hopeful,  am  of  course  uncertain. 

Indeed  I  am  in  exactly  the  predicament  of  a  farmer's  wife 
who  was  asked  by  the  Dowager  Lady  Godfrey,  after  a  month 
of  marriage,  how  she  liked  her  husband. 

'  I  had  plenty  of  recommendation  with  him,'  was  the  reply, 
*  but  I  have  not  had  enough  trial  of  him  yet  to  say  for  sure.' 


74   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

There  is  a  story  about  a  honeymoon  couple  at  Killarney 
which  is  worth  telling. 

The  bridegroom  had  a  valet,  a  good,  faithful  fellow,  long 
in  his  service,  but  talkative,  a  thing  his  master  loathed.  He 
said  to  him  : — 

'  John,  I  've  often  told  you  to  hold  your  tongue  about  my 
affairs.  This  time  I  emphatically  mean  it.  If  you  tell  the 
people  in  the  hotel  that  I  am  on  my  honeymoon,  I  '11  sack  you 
on  the  spot.' 

So  John  promised  to  be  as  silent  as  the  grave,  but  on  the 
third  afternoon,  as  the  happy  pair  were  ascending  the  stairs 
of  the  Victoria  Hotel,  they  saw  by  the  giggles  and  smirks  of 
the  chambermaids  that  their  secret  had  been  discovered. 

The  bridegroom  rang  his  bell  and  went  for  John  in  a 
towering  passion,  but  the  fellow  held  his  ground. 

'  Is  it  not  unfair  the  way  you  are  taking  on  ?  Sure  the 
other  servants  did  ask  me  if  you  were  on  your  honeymoon, 
but  I  was  even  with  them,  for  I  told  them  "  devil  a  bit, 
your  honour  was  not  going  to  marry  the  lady  until  next 
month."  ' 

I  do  not  know  how  that  alliance  turned  out,  but  the  happy 
pair  left  the  hotel  early  next  morning. 

I  can  tell  rather  more  about  the  matrimonial  experiences 
of  an  Archdeacon  at  Cork,  who  married  firstly  a  woman  who 
was  very  fond  of  society.  She  died,  and  he  then  married 
another,  who  grew  very  stout.  She  also  died,  and  the  inde- 
fatigable cleric  married  as  his  third  experiment  a  widow  cursed 
with  a  very  violent  temper. 

He  was  one  day  chaffed  on  the  practical  demonstration  he 
had  given  to  the  Romish  doctrine  of  the  celibacy  of  the 
Church,  when  he  said  : — 

'  After  all  they  were  a  trial,  for  I  married  the  world,  the 


MYSELF,  SOME  FACTS,  AND  MANY  STORIES     75 

flesh,  and  lastly  the  devil,  and  now  I  tremble  whenever  I  think 
of  recognition  in  eternity.' 

This  Cork  story  comes  naturally,  because  at  that  time  1 
was  living  near  Cork  and  very  happily  too. 

Now  and  again  we  took  trips  up  to  Dublin  when  I  had 
business  there. 

I  am  not  much  of  a  playgoer,  but  in  Dublin  we  always 
went  to  the  theatre  on  the  chance  of  hearing  some  of  the 
proverbial  wit  of  its  gallery. 

On  one  occasion,  a  lady  in  the  play,  when  her  lover  had 
had  some  doubt  of  her  fidelity,  exclaimed  : — 

'  Would  there  were  a  mirror  in  my  side  that  you  could  see 
into  my  heart.' 

Whereupon  a  voice  from  the  gods  shouted : — 

*  Would  not  a  pain  [i.e.  pane]  in  your  stomach  do  as  well. 
I  have  one  myself.' 

Lord  Chancellor  Brady  was  of  a  notoriously  convivial 
temperament,  which  did  not  prevent  him  being  an  admirable 
lawyer  when  he  would  allow  his  wits  to  get  their  heads  above- 
water,  so  to  speak,  though  it  was  little  enough  that  he  used  to 
dilute  his  spirits. 

When  Jenny  Lind  sang  in  some  Italian  opera,  he  occupied 
a  seat  in  the  vice-regal  box,  and  gazed  at  her  through  a  porten- 
tously enormous  lorgnette. 

This  was  too  much  for  a  wag  in  the  gallery,  who  yelled  : — 

*  Brady,  me  jewel,  I  'm  glad  to  see  you  're  fond  of  a  big 
glass  yet.' 

At  the  time  of  the  Crimean  War,  John  Reynolds,  a  very 
energetic  citizen,  was  perpetually  raising  the  question  about 
the  dangerous  practice  of  driving  outside  cars  from  the  side 
instead  of  the  box — in  which  he  was  undoubtedly  right. 

When  he  went  to  the  theatre,  a  gallery  boy  shouted  : — 


76   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

'  Three  cheers  for  Alderman  John  Reynolds  the  hero 
of  Kars.' 

The  Lord  Mayor  of  the  period  who  sat  beside  him  was  a 
tallow  chandler,  and  the  same  spokesman  shouted  out  :  — 

'  Three  cheers  for  his  grease  the  Lord  Mayor  just  back 
from  the  races  at  Tallagh.' 

That  sort  of  thing  seems  to  be  particularly  indigenous, 
the  only  parallel  being  when  undergraduates  or  medical 
students  get  gathered  together. 

The  eloquence  of  Irish  members  in  the  House  of 
Commons  has  really  nothing  to  do  with  my  reminiscences, 
but  I  remember  one  occasion  when  it  was  uncommonly  well 
excelled  by  a  stolid  Englishman. 

Fergus  O'Connor — an  Irishman,  as  his  name  betrays — was 
an  ardent  Chartist,  and  before  the  Reform  Bill  was  introduced 
he  said  in  the  House  that  he  had  been  accused  of  being  a 
personal  enemy  of  King  William's.  This  was  quite  untrue, 
for  if  there  were  only  good  laws  he  did  not  care  if  the  devil 
were  King  of  England. 

Sir  Robert  Peel  replied  : — 

'  When  the  honourable  member  is  gratified  by  seeing  the 
sovereign  of  his  choice  on  the  throne  of  these  realms,  I  hope 
he  will  enjoy,  and  I  am  sure  he  will  deserve,  the  confidence  of 
the  Crown.' 

Whilst  I  am  anecdotal,  perhaps  I  had  better  say  something 
about  books  into  which  my  stories  have  been  pressed.  I  was 
always  given  to  telling  tales,  but  of  course  my  great  time  was 
when  Lord  Morris  and  I  would  sit  trying  to  cap  one  another. 
If  he  were  ever  too  idle  to  remember  an  anecdote  of  his  own, 
he  would  reel  off  one  of  mine  :  as  for  his  own  fund  of  stories 
and  humour  ever  approaching  exhaustion,  that  was  not  to  be 
thought  of.     He  was  far  and  away  the  wittiest  man  I  ever 


MYSELF,  SOME  FACTS,  AND  MANY  STORIES    77 

met,  and  if  I  do  not  quote  one  of  his  tales  on  this  page  it  is 
because  no  single  sample  can  show  the  superb  richness  of  his 
vintage,  and  more  than  one  of  his  brand  will  be  found  scattered 
in  the  present  volume. 

I  gave  a  good  many  anecdotes  to  my  dear  old  friend 
Mr.  W.  R.  Le  Fanu — cheeriest  of  fishermen,  kindest  of  jolly 
good  fellows — for  his  garrulous  book.  He  observes  in  his 
preface  that  he  makes  his  first  attempt  at  writing  in  his 
eight-and-seventieth  year.  I  am  nearly  twenty-four  months 
his  senior  when  thus  far  on  the  road  of  these  reminiscences. 
I  also  echo  another  phrase  of  his  : — 

*  I  trust  I  have  said  nothing  to  hurt  the  feelings  of  any  of 
my  fellow-countrymen.' 

Just  one  quotation — and  only  a  little  one — which  is  not 
mine,  but  the  warning  which  Sheridan  Le  Fanu,  author  of 
that  capital  novel  Uncle  Silas^  gave  in  the  Dublin  University 
Magazine  against  matrimony  : — 

'  Marriage  is  like  the  smallpox.  A  man  may  have  it 
mildly,  but  he  generally  carries  the  marks  of  it  with  him  to 
his  grave.' 

And  very  true  too  in  his  division  of  an  Irishman's  life  into 
three  parts  : — 

*  The  first  is  that  in  which  he  is  plannin'  and  conthrivin' 
all  sorts  of  villainy  and  rascality  ;  that  is  the  period  of  youth 
and  innocence.  The  second  is  that  in  which  he  is  puttin'  into 
practice  the  villainy  and  rascality  he  contrived  before  ;  that  is 
the  prime  of  life  or  the  flower  of  manhood.  The  third  and 
last  period  is  that  in  which  he  is  makin'  his  soul  and  preparin' 
for  another  world  ;  that  is  the  period  of  dotage.' 

Shakespeare's  seven  ages  of  man  may  have  been  more 
poetical,  but  it  does  not  betray  a  closer  grip  of  the  Irish 
temperament. 


78    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

My  other  appearance  as  a  literary  ghost  or  rather  as  an 
anonymous  contributor  was  when  I  supplied  Mrs.  O'Connell 
with  stories  for  The  Last  Count  of  the  Irish  Brigade.  That  was 
about  twenty  years  ago,  and  therefore  long  after  the  death  of 
the  hero  who  was  uncle  to  the  Liberator, 

The  writer  was  a  daughter  of  Charles  Bianconi,  the 
originator  of  all  the  mail-cars  in  Ireland,  who  owned  at  one 
time  sixteen  hundred  horses,  and  always  laughed  at  the  idea 
of  any  violence  on  the  part  of  the  peasantry,  pointing  out  that 
though  his  cars  daily  covered  four  thousand  miles  in  twenty- 
tv/o  counties,  no  injury  was  ever  done  to  any  of  his  property. 

Mrs.  O'Connell  was  married  to  a  nephew  of  the  great 
Dan,  and  he  represented  Kerry  in  Parliament  for  nearly  thirty 
years.  He  was  an  intimate  friend  of  Thackeray's,  and  gave 
him  all  the  idioms  of  his  delightful  Irish  ballads.  This 
O'Connell  was  a  clever,  amusing  fellow,  and  precious  idle 
into  the  bargain. 

I  remember  one  story  he  told  me. 

Mrs.  MacCarthy,  near  Millstreet,  had  a  son,  a  small 
proprietor,  and  he  got  married.  The  mother-in-law  lived 
with  the  daughter-in-law,  who  had  rather  grand  ideas,  and 
set  up  as  parlour-maid  in  the  house  a  raw  lass  just  taken 
from  the  dairy. 

One  afternoon  old  Mrs.  MacCarthy  saw  the  parish 
priest  coming  to  call,  and  told  the  girl  if  he  asked  for 
Mrs.  MacCarthy  to  say  she  vvas  not  in  but  the  dowager 
was. 

Now  the  maid  had  never  heard  the  word  dowager  in  her 
life,  but  thought  she  would  make  a  shot  for  it,  so  when  his 
reverence  asked  if  Mrs.  MacCarthy  was  at  home,  she  blurted 
out  : — 

'  No,  sir,  but  the  badger  is.' 


MYSELF,  SOME  FACTS,  AND  MANY  STORIES     79 

And  to  her  dying  day  the  relic  of  deceased  MacCarthy 
went  by  the  name  of  '  the  badger.' 

Now  it  is  really  time  I  related  how  my  own  beauty  was 
spoilt,  by  breaking  my  nose  in  1858. 

I  was  racing  the  present  Knight  of  Kerry  and  a  young 
gunner  named  Hickson — no  relation — on  the  Strand,  when 
the  horse  of  the  latter  collided  with  my  own,  and  they  both 
fell  at  the  same  time.  He  was  a  loose  rider,  and  being  shot 
off  some  distance  from  his  animal  picked  himself  up  unhurt. 
I  had  always  a  tight  grip,  so  I  got  entangled  in  the  saddle 
which  twisted  round,  and  my  mare  almost  literally  tore  off  my 
face  with  her  hind  hoof. 

I  walked  back  a  quarter  of  a  mile,  trying  to  hold  my  face 
on  to  my  head  with  my  hand  ;  and  in  a  month's  time  I  was 
able  to  get  about  again,  which  the  doctor  said  was  one  of  the 
quickest  cases  of  healing  he  had  ever  known. 

But  I  was  absolutely  unrecognised  by  my  acquaintances 
when  I  reappeared,  and  Mr.  Dillon  the  R.M.  actually  took 
me  for  a  walk  in  Tralee  to  see  the  town,  thinking  I  was  a 
stranger,  a  situation  the  fun  of  which  I  heartily  appreciated. 

Before  that  infernal  gallop  I  had  a  hooked  nose  like  the 
Duke  of  Wellington  ;  and  it 's  lucky  I  got  married  when  I 
did,  for  no  one  would  have  had  me  afterwards,  though  my 
own  wife  always  says  *  for  shame '  if  I  make  the  remark  in  her 
presence,  God  bless  her. 

When  I  went  to  the  Abbey  of  St.  Denis,  near  Paris,  I 
told  the  verger  I  was  very  anxious  to  see  the  likeness  of  the 
saint  who  had  walked  for  six  miles  with  his  head  in  his  hand, 
because  I  was  the  nearest  living  counterpart,  having  walked  a 
quarter  of  a  mile  with  my  face  in  mine. 

Hickson  was  universally  congratulated  on  his  lucky  escape. 
He  went  out   to   India    and   was  dead   in   eighteen    months. 


8o   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

and  here  am  I  at  eighty  with  half  my  face  and  some  of  my 
health  still  in  spite  of  the  attentive  care  of  my  family  and 
the  doctor. 

My  present  doctor  is  a  capital  fellow,  and  when  he  comes  to 
see  me  he  laughs  so  much  at  my  stories  that  I  always  think  he 
ought  to  take  me  half  price.  Instead  of  that  he  regards  me  as 
an  animated  laboratory  for  his  interesting  chemical  experi- 
ments ;  but  I  had  the  best  of  him  last  time  I  was  laid  up,  for  I 
made  him  take  a  dose  of  the  filthy  compound  he  had  ordered 
for  me  the  previous  day. 

First  he  said  he  wouldn't,  then  he  said  he  couldn't,  but  I 
said  what  was  not  poison  for  the  patient  could  not  hurt  the 
physician  ;  and  in  the  end  he  had  to  swallow  the  dose,  making 
far  more  fuss  over  its  nasty  taste  than  I  did.  But  I  noted 
that  he  at  once  wrote  me  a  new  prescription,  which  was  as 
sweet  as  any  advertised  syrup,  and  further,  that  he  arranged 
his  next  visit  should  be  just  after  I  finished  the  bottle. 

However,  that  is  years  and  years  after  the  time  of  which  I 
am  treating. 

Yet  I  am  tempted  to  anticipate,  because  the  mention  of 
Edenburn  earlier  in  this  chapter  suggests  a  quaint  individual 
about  whom  a  few  observations  may  be  made. 

Bill  Hogan  was  our  factotum.  He  was  stable-boy,  steward, 
ladies'-maid,  and  professional  busybody,  as  well  as  a  bit  of  a 
character,  though  he  possessed  none  worth  mentioning. 

When  we  were  packing  up  to  leave  Edenburn,  my  wife 
was  watching  him  fill  two  casks,  one  with  home-made  jam,  the 
other  with  china. 

Called  away  to  luncheon,  she  found  on  her  return  both 
casks  securely  nailed  down. 

*Oh,  you  should  not  have  done  that.  Bill,'  she  said,  'for 
now  we  shan't  know  which  contains  which.' 


MYSELF,  SOME  FACTS,  AND  MANY  STORIES    8i 

'  I  thought  of  that,  ma'am,'  replies  Bill,  '  so  I  have  written 
S  for  chiney  on  the  one,  and  G  for  jam  on  the  other.' 

Bill's  orthography  was  obviously  original. 

So  was  the  drive  he  took  with  a  certain  cheery  guest  of 
mine  one  Sabbath  morning. 

The  said  guest  desired  more  refreshment  than  he  was 
likely  to  get  at  that  early  hour  at  Edenburn,  so  he  drove  into 
Tralee,  ostensibly  to  church,  and  told  Bill  to  have  the  car 
round  at  the  club  at  one. 

'  Well,'  narrated  Bill  afterwards,  '  out  came  the  Captain 
from  the  club,  having  a  few  drinks  taken,  and  up  he  got  on 
the  car  with  my  help,  but  at  the  corner  of  Denny  Street  he 
pulled  up  at  the  whisky  store,  and  said  we  must  drink  the 
luck  of  the  road.  Well  we  drank  the  luck  at  every  house  on 
the  way  out  of  the  town,  and  presently  in  the  road  down 
came  the  mare,  pitching  the  Captain  over  the  hedge,  and 
marking  her  own  knees,  as  well  as  breaking  the  shaft.  At  last 
we  all  got  home  somehow,  and  there  in  the  yard  was  the 
master,  looking  us  all  three  up  and  down  as  though  he  were 
going  to  commit  us  all  from  the  Bench.  Then  a  twinkle 
came  into  his  eye,  and  he  said  as  mild  as  a  dove  to  the 
Captain,  "  I  see  by  the  look  of  her  knees  you  've  been  taking 
the  mare  to  say  her  prayers." ' 


CHAPTER   IX 


THE    HARENC    ESTATE 


So  large  a  part  has  the  purchase  of  this  estate  made  in  my 
more  public  appearances,  owing  to  the  fact  that  I  have  been 
brought  into  general  notice  through  offensive  legal  pro- 
ceedings, that  a  brief  account  of  the  matter  must  form  part 
of  my  reminiscences. 

Prior  to  1878,  a  gentleman  named  Harenc,  the  owner  of  a 
large  extent  of  landed  property  in  the  north  of  Kerry,  died. 

Who  the  estate  subsequently  belonged  to  I  am  uncertain. 
Anyhow,  according  to  the  title-deeds,  it  was  somehow  divided 
among  ten  or  twelve  individuals  before  the  property  came  into 
the  Land  Estate  Courts  for  sale. 

This  circumstance  suggested  to  a  large  number  of  the 
tenantry  that  it  might  be  an  opportunity  to  avail  themselves 
of  the  provisions  of  the  Bright  Clauses,  and  become  pretty 
cheaply  the  owners  of  the  land  on  which  they  lived. 

After  they  had  offered  the  sum  of  ^75,000  for  the 
estate,  for  the  purpose  of  splitting  it  up  into  small  holdings, 
it  was  found  that  the  trustee  had  privately  agreed  to  sell 
it  to  Mr.  Goodman  Gentleman,  the  agent  for  the  late  Mr. 
Harenc,  for  ^65,000. 

The  tenants  were  not  going  to  be  frustrated  by  that — 
being  Irishmen  and  litigious,  which  is  one  and  the  same 
thing.  So  they  appealed  to  the  Landed  Estates  Court,  and 
induced  Judge  Ormsby  to  make  an  order  annulling  the  deed 


82 


THE  HARENC  ESTATE  83 

of  sale,  and  directing  that  the  property  should  be  put  up  in 
lots  suitable  to  the  purposes  of  the  tenants. 

Several  of  the  tenants  who  did  not  want  the  property  split 
up  approached  me  to  suggest  I  should  buy  the  property,  and 
appeared  by  counsel — the  present  Judge  Johnson — in  support 
of  me. 

I  met  the  tenants,  and  stated  that  if  it  fell  to  me  I  would 
give  each  of  them  a  lease  of  thirty-one  years,  and  indemnify 
myself  for  the  purchase-money  by  a  rise  on  the  entire  rental 
of  five  per  cent,  on  the  valuation  of  each  estate,  according  to 
current  estimates,  at  which  they  showed  every  sign  of  satis- 
faction. 

I  then  offered  ;^ 8  0,000  for  the  whole  estate,  and  was 
declared  the  purchaser.  A  large  bonfire  was  lighted  on 
February  20th,  1878,  by  the  tenants  at  Aghabey,  near 
Luxnow,  on  their  being  apprised  I  had  become  their  land- 
lord. 

Another  section  of  tenants,  however,  were  anxious  that 
the  property  should  be  bought  by  Messrs.  Lombard  and 
Murphy,  private  individuals  I  never  met. 

The  judge  of  the  Landed  Estate  Court,  Judge  Ormsby, 
gave  them  the  property. 

I  appealed  against  this  decision,  and  the  Court  of  Appeal 
unanimously  reversed  the  verdict  of  Judge  Ormsby,  the  three 
judges  being  the  Lord  Chancellor  of  Ireland,  the  Master  of 
the  Rolls — who  said  it  was  one  of  the  most  important  cases 
decided  since  the  foundation  of  the  Land  Court — and  Lord 
Justice  Deasy.  I  have  been  told  on  most  excellent  authority 
that  Lord  Justice  Christian  declined  to  sit  because,  as  he  told 
the  Lord  Chancellor,  he  felt  so  strongly  in  my  favour  that  he 
could  not  hear  the  case  with  an  unbiassed  mind. 

There  had  been  a  demonstration  at  the  previous  decision, 


84   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

but  it  paled  before  the  great  rejoicings  over  my  success  among 
all  the  tenantry  over  whom  I  was  agent.  There  were  more 
than  fifty  bonfires  blazing  that  night  in  Kerry,  so  that  the 
county  looked  as  though  it  were  signalling  the  advent  of 
another  Armada,  as  in  the  fragment  Macaulay  left.  The  only 
place  where  any  opposition  was  exhibited  was  in  Castleisland, 
whence  the  Lombard  family  originally  sprang  ;  and  there  the 
lighted  tar-barrels,  which  had  been  placed  on  the  ruins  of  the 
old  castle,  were  extinguished,  to  avoid  unpleasant  contact  with 
a  gang  of  rowdy  roughs. 

Messrs.  Lombard  and  Murphy  had  stated  that  they  were 
buying  on  behalf  of  the  tenants.  So  I  served  them  with  notice 
that  if  they  undertook  to  sell  to  every  tenant  his  own  holding 
they  might  have  the  property. 

This  they  very  wisely  declined,  and  left  me  in  the  position 
that  in  1879  I  finally  purchased  a  property  on  what  was  called 
an  indefeasible  Parliamentary  title,  under  the  approval  of  Her 
Majesty's  Judges,  and  in  188 1  an  Act  of  Parliament  practically 
took  one-third  of  it  from  me. 

In  188 1  I  wrote  a  letter  to  Mr.  Gladstone,  asking  him  to 
take  my  property  and  give  me  back  my  money. 

To  this  he  returned  an  evasive  answer,  declining  my  offer. 

If  the  tenants  had  themselves  bought  the  Harenc  property 
at  that  time  they  would  by  this  time  all  be  paupers,  for  they 
could  only  get  two-thirds  of  the  money  from  Government, 
and  would  have  had  to  borrow  the  other  third  at  a  heavy  rate 
of  interest. 

One  man,  Mr.  Hewson,  bought  one  of  the  farms  for 
^13,500,  and  under  Mr.  Gerald  Balfour's  Act  of  1896  it  was 
compulsorily  sold  to  the  tenants  for  about  ^^6000.  I  have  the 
exact  figures  at  Tralee,  but  these  are  approximate  enough  for 
the  purpose  of  demonstration. 


THE  HARENC  ESTATE  85 

Several  of  the  other  tenants  took  me  into  Court. 

I  had  a  piece  of  reclaimable  ground  on  my  own  hands 
which  I  let  for  eight  shillings  an  acre.  The  adjoining  tenant, 
with  exactly  the  same  nature  of  land — which  he  swore  on  oath 
he  had  paid  more  than  the  fee-simple  in  improving — had  his 
rent  fixed  by  the  County  Court  at  four  shillings  an  acre. 

To  be  sure,  if  the  County  Court  valuer  had  not  done  so, 
he  would  have  quickly  lost  his  employment.  The  position  is 
one  incompatible  with  honesty,  and  the  value  of  land,  apart 
from  what  you  can  get  for  it,  is  a  very  disputable  matter. 

My  relations  with  my  Harenc  tenantry  were  always 
good. 

After  the  purchase  in  1879  J  had  no  trouble  with  them, 
and  on  the  contrary  received  the  warmest  thanks  from  the 
parish  priest  for  my  conduct  as  a  landlord. 

I  drained  soil  and  imported  seed  potatoes,  besides  executing 
other  improvements.  The  estate  was  not  in  good  order  when 
I  purchased  it,  and  I  know  from  other  sources  that  the  tenants 
were  well  satisfied  with  me. 

1  may  as  well  mention,  that  having  no  agencies  on  the 
Listowel  side  of  Kerry,  I  was  never  on  the  Harenc  property 
before  the  question  of  purchasing  arose,  and  it  had  on  it  no 
house  in  which  I  and  my  family  could  reside. 

Until  1 881  no  tenant  made  any  hostile  move,  but  one 
fellow,  who  took  me  into  the  Land  Court  after  the  Land  Act, 
presented  a  very  curious  case. 

This  man,  whose  rent  was  sixty-five  pounds  a  year,  applied 
to  the  Court  for  reduction.  There  was  a  press  of  business 
at  the  time  which  necessitated  an  adjournment,  but  in  the 
end  the  Court  fixed  the  new  rent  at  the  same  amount  as  the 
old  rent. 

The  tenant  appealed  ;  but  though  the  Appeal  Court  valuers 


86   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

attested  that  it  was  worth  seventy-five  pounds  a  year,  still  the 
rent  was  unchanged. 

In  other  words,  the  Government  sold  me  a  farm  and 
parliamentary  title  at  sixty-five  pounds  a  year  which  one  set 
of  Commissioners  thought  fair  and  the  other  thought  cheap, 
and  yet  I  had  to  spend  more  than  half  a  year's  rent  in  defend- 
ing my  title  to  it. 

There  is  no  appeal  as  to  value,  except  to  the  head 
Commissioners.  They  appoint  two  other  Sub-Commissioners 
to  inspect  the  land,  and  they  of  course  avoid  disagreeing  with 
their  brethren. 

It  is  very  like  Mr.  Spenlow  in  David  Copperfield,  who 
said,  '  If  you  are  not  satisfied  with  Doctors'  Commons  you  can 
go  to  the  delegates,'  and  being  asked  who  the  delegates  were, 
he  replied  that  they  came  from  Doctors'  Commons. 

I  bought  the  Harenc  property  as  a  speculation,  and  it 
turned  out  a  confoundedly  bad  one. 

Once  I  had  a  conversation  with  a  Land  Leaguer  on  the 
subject.     He  said  : — 

'  You  bought  a  stolen  horse,  and  must  take  the  conse- 
quences.' 

'  If  that  were  so,'  I  retorted,  '  I  would  have  an  action 
against  the  Government  which  sold  me  the  horse.' 

I  had  a  correspondence  on  the  subject  with  Mr.  Chamber- 
lain, which  elicited  some  remarkable  letters  ;  but  as  he  marked 
all  of  his  private  and  confidential,  they  of  course  cannot  be 
published. 

Now  for  a  few  anecdotes,  just  to  show  that  I  have  not 
exhausted  my  stock. 

It  would  be  cruel  to  specify  the  individual  of  whom  I  can 
truthfully  say,  he  was  the  biggest  fool  that  ever  disfigured  the 
Irish  bench. 


THE  HARENC  ESTATE  87 

He  had  been  tutor  to  the  children  of  a  great  peer,  and  his 
patron  subsequently  pressed  the  Prime  Minister  to  do  some- 
thing for  him. 

*  I  can't  make  him  a  County  Court  judge,'  said  the  Prime 
Minister,  'for  he  would  never  decide  rightly.' 

'  Well,'  said  another  Minister,  *  we  are  going  out,  and  have 
not  the  ghost  of  a  chance  of  ever  getting  in  again  in  our  time. 
Let  him  be  Solicitor-General  for  Ireland  during  the  last  weeks 
we  hold  office.' 

So  this  was  done  out  of  sheer  good-nature  ;  but  after  the 
election  the  Government  found  themselves  saddled  with  him, 
for  in  those  days  holders  of  high  office  were  not  shelved  at 
the  caprice  of  Premiers,  whilst  the  country  had  unexpectedly 
returned  the  old  gang  to  power. 

It  has  always  been  averred  by  the  Irish  Bar  that  an  office 
was  specially  created  for  the  purpose  of  shunting  this  legal 
luminary  into  it,  but  as  an  historical  fact  I  will  not  vouch  for 
the  truth  of  the  sarcasm.  The  account  of  the  Cabinet  con- 
clave came  to  me  on  excellent  authority. 

When  Chief  Justice  Monaghan  died.  Lord  Morris,  who 
was  then  a  Puisne  Judge  of  Common  Pleas,  observed  that 
he  himself  had  a  good  chance  of  the  post. 

*  What  about  Keagh  and  Lawson  ? '  asked  his  acquaint- 
ance, they  being  brother  judges. 

*  Very  good  men,'  replied  Lord  Morris,  *  but  as  they  were  not 
appointed  by  the  Tories,  I  don't  think  they  '11  promote  them.' 

*  And  how  about  Ormsby  ? '  continued  the  other. 

*  Ah  now,'  said  Morris,  '  you  are  getting  sarcastic' 
There  is  a  cheery  story  about  Judge  Keagh,  who  has  just 

been  mentioned. 

A  number  of  brothers  were  before  him,  charged  with 
killing  a  man  at  Listowel. 


88    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

The  judge  was  most  anxious  to  ascertain  from  an  import- 
ant witness  what  share  each  of  the  accused  had  in  the  murder. 
'  What  did  John  do  ?  ' 

*  He  struck  him  with  his  stick  on  the  head.' 
'  And  James  ? ' 

'  James  hit  him  with  his  fist  on  the  jaw.' 
'  And  Philip  ? ' 

'  Philip  tried  to  get  him  down  and  kick  him.' 
'  And  Timothy  ?  ' 

*  He  could  do  nothing,  my  lord,  but  he  was  just  walking 
round  searching  for  a  vacancy.' 

Which  reminds  me  that  fair  play  is  not  always  recognised 
as  essential  in  these  matters,  as  the  following  anecdote  shows. 

There  was  a  faction  feud  between  the  Kellehers  and  Leehys 
near  Sneem. 

One  of  the  Leehys  had  a  bad  leg,  and  was  therefore  bound 
apprentice  to  a  shoemaker  in  Sneem. 

On  a  fair  day  a  solitary  Kelleher  ventured  into  the  town, 
and  very  speedily  the  Leehys  had  half-killed  and  beaten  him 
as  well  as  their  numbers  would  allow. 

Suddenly  there  was  a  shout,  and  the  poor  lame  Leehy  came 
hobbling  down  the  street  as  fast  as  his  wooden  leg  would 
permit. 

*  Boys,  for  the  love  of  mercy,'  says  he,  '  let  a  poor  cripple 
have  one  go  at  the  black-hearted  varmint.' 

One  of  the  counsel  engaged  in  the  Harenc  case  was  Mr. 
Murphy,  who  was  a  near  relative  of  Judge  Keagh,  and  he  was 
a  man  of  ready  wit  into  the  bargain. 

There  was  a  company  promoter  from  London,  who  had 
induced  several  people  to  take  shares  in  a  bogus  concern,  and 
was  consequently  defendant  in  an  action  brought  against  him 
in  Cork. 


THE  HARENC  ESTATE  89 

He  thought  he  would  make  an  impression  on  the  wild 
Irish  by  being  overdressed  and  gorgeously  bejewelled. 

When  Murphy  arose  to  address  the  jury,  he  said  : — 

'Gentlemen  of  the  jury,  look  at  the  well-tailored  impostor 
without  a  rag  of  honesty  to  take  the  gloss  off  his  new  clothes.* 

Another  counsel  in  the  case  was  Mr.  Byrne.  He  was 
always  in  impecunious  circumstances  despite  his  legal  eloquence, 
but  the  lack  of  a  balance  at  his  banker's  never  troubled  him. 

Once  he  took  Chief  Justice  Whiteside  to  see  his  new  house 
in  Dublin,  which  he  had  furnished  in  sumptuous  style. 

'  Don't  you  think  I  deserve  great  credit  for  this  ?  '  he 
asked  at  length. 

'  Yes,'  retorted  Whiteside,  '  and  you  appear  to  have  got 
it.' 

Lord  Justice  Christian,  who  had  declined  to  sit  on  the 
Appeal,  was  considered  one  of  the  soundest  opinions  in  Ireland. 
When  he  ceased  to  be  sole  Judge  of  Appeal,  he  had  addressed 
the  Bar  after  this  fashion  : — 

'  As  this  is  the  last  time  I  sit  as  sole  Judge  of  Appeal,  it 
is  an  opportune  time  for  me  to  review  my  decisions.  By  a 
curious  coincidence,  I  have  been  thirteen  years  in  this  Court, 
and  I  have  decided  thirteen  cases  which  have  been  taken  to 
the  House  of  Lords.  Eleven  of  my  decisions  were  confirmed, 
one  appeal  was  withdrawn,  and  the  last  was  a  purely  equity 
case.  The  two  equity  lords  went  with  me,  the  two  common 
law  lords  were  against  me,  and  when  I  inform  the  Bar  that  my 
judgment  was  reversed  on  the  casting  vote  of  Lord  O'Hagan, 
I  do  not  think  they  will  attach  much  importance  to  the 
decision.' 

Judge  Christian's  allusion  to  the  Land  Act  is  most  note- 
worthy, for  he  said  : — 

*  The  property  of  the  country  is  confided  to  the  discretion 


90   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

of  certain  roving  commissioners  without  any  fixed  rules  to 
guide  and  direct  them.  In  fact,  we  have  reverted  to  the 
primitive  state  of  society,  where  men  make  and  administer  the 
laws  in  the  same  breath.' 

Reverting  to  the  Harenc  estate,  a  rather  amusing  account 
was  once  perpetrated  by  a  Special  Commissioner. 

'  Never  heard  tell  of  Ballybunion  ? '  said  his  carman  to  the 
journalist  as  on  the  road  they  met  the  carts  laden  with  sand 
and  seaweed  from  that  place.  '  Why  it 's  a  great  place  intirely 
in  the  season,  when  quality  from  all  parts  come  for  the  sea- 
bathing.' 

As  he  evidently  regarded  it  as  the  first  watering-place 
in  the  world,  the  Special  Commissioner  thought  he  had  better 
see  the  place,  and  here  is  his  description : — 

'  A  village  perched  on  the  summit  of  a  cliff,  an  ancient 
castle  of  the  Fitz- Maurice  clan,  wonderful  caves,  and  a  little 
hotel  are  the  leading  features  of  the  place. 

*  The  morning  after  my  arrival,  I  experienced  a  wish  to  see 
the  cliffs  and  caves,  and  no  sooner  were  the  words  spoken  than 
a  figure  bearing  an  unlit  torch  appeared  at  the  door. 

*  It  was  Beal-bo  (which  may  be  translated  into  a  somewhat 
Sioux  cognomen — the  Yellow  Cow).  A  figure  in  rags  with 
an  inimitable  limp,  and  a  fashion  of  closing  one  eye  that 
reminds  one  of  Victor  Hugo's  Quasimodo  of  Notre  Dame. 
A  more  intimate  acquaintance  proved  there  was  much  instruc- 
tion, and  a  good  deal  of  amusement,  to  be  derived  from  this 
strange  character. 

'  The  grand  cave  is  Beal-bo's  special  source  of  revenue. 
He  regards  it  as  his  own  property,  and  takes  a  pride  in  it 
accordingly.  This  is  the  theatre  of  the  many  wiles  he  prac- 
tises upon  unsuspecting  strangers.  When  he  has  lured  them 
into  the  bowels  of  the  cave,  he  turns  down  a  gallery,  and 


THE  HARENC  ESTATE  91 

informs  them  that  they  cannot  get  out  unless  they  cross  a 
pool  about  five  feet  wide.  When  he  has  his  victim  upon  his 
back,  he  seizes  the  opportunity  to  levy  blackmail,  for  the 
pool  is  a  quicksand  and  he  suddenly  affects  great  fear.  After 
he  has  sunk  to  the  knees  in  the  yielding  sand,  the  tourist  is 
glad  enough  to  give  him  a  shilling  to  hurry  across. 

'  In  another  gallery  it  is  necessary  for  the  stranger  to 
cross  a  pool  on  a  plank  which  Beal-bo  provides  for  the  occasion, 
and  on  this  he  charges  a  toll.  He  used  to  let  the  water  in  to 
deepen  the  pools  before  the  tourists  came  through,  in  order  to 
bring  his  plank  into  requisition. 

'  Suspended  on  a  cliff  between  heaven  and  sea,  one  hundred 
feet  above  the  water,  on  all  sides  were  piled  the  immense 
masses  of  masonry,  the  ruins  of  which  are  all  that  remains  of 
the  once  proud  Castle  of  Doon.  Gazing  in  awe  down  the 
horrid  depths  of  the  "  Puffing  Hole,"  Beal-bo  informed  us : — 

*  "  Twas  there  Brian  used  to  sleep  in  the  day,  and  come  out 
at  night  to  milk  the  cows  up  in  the  Killarney  hills,  he  and  his 
dog."' 

The  Special  Commissioner  looked  incredulous,  but  Beal-bo 
was  confident : — 

*  "  May  I  never  be  saved,  sir,  if  I  haven't  seen  him  meself, 
many  a  night,  sir,  as  he  climbed  the  cliffs  backwards  to  rob 
the  hawks'  nests." ' 

How  can  even  a  Special  Commissioner  dispute  an  eye- 
witness ? 

Still  the  knowledge  that  I  own  a  harbour  of  refuge  for 
Brian  will  hardly  repay  me  for  all  the  expense  and  anxiety 
the  Harenc  property  has  caused  me. 

Before  quitting  the  subject,  I  can  conclude  with  a  more 
gratifying  fact. 

At  the  time   of  the  Tralee  election,  when  I   stood  as  a 


92   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Conservative,  a  small  clique  of  mob  orators  and  amateur 
politicians  tried  to  make  political  capital  out  of  the  history 
of  the  Harenc  estate,  and  a  priest,  Father  M.  O'Connor,  rode 
the  jaded  topic  to  death.  The  unkindest  cut  of  all  to  him  was 
the  direct  contradiction  by  the  tenants  themselves  of  every 
assertion  that  their  self-constituted  champions  made  on  their 
behalf. 

'  We,  the  tenants  of  the  Harenc  estate,  think  it  our  duty 
to  state  that  since  Mr.  S.  M.  Hussey  became  purchaser  of 
the  above  estate,  he  has  in  every  respect  treated  us  kindly. 
He  was  good  enough  to  give  us  seed  potatoes  for  half  the 
price  they  cost  himself;  he  also  drained  our  portions  of  the 
land  at  two  and  a  half  per  cent.,  employed  all  the  labourers, 
and  paid  them  good  wages  while  so  employed  by  him.  As  a 
landlord  we  find  him  liberal  and  generous.' 

To  this  were  appended  fifty  signatures,  and  the  best  part 
of  all  is  that  the  whole  of  the  manifesto  was  absolutely  un- 
solicited by  me,  proving  an  unexpected  source  of  pleasure. 


CHAPTER   X 


KERRY    ELECTIONS 


An  election  in  most  places  is  an  occasion  for  breaking  heads, 
abusing  opponents,  and  other  similar  demonstrations  of  ardent 
local  philanthropy.  Such  opportunities  are  never  lost  by  Kerry 
men,  whose  heads  are  harder  and  whose  wits  are  sharper  than 
those  of  the  average  run  of  humanity.  If  you  are  a  real 
Kerry  man  of  respectable  convictions,  and  self-respecting  into 
the  bargain,  you  will  never  let  the  man  who  is  drinking  with 
you  entertain  any  opinions  but  your  own  at  election  times. 
If  he  contradicts  you,  it 's  up  with  your  stick  and  a  crack  on 
his  skull,  and  as  that  only  tickles  him  up — having  much  the 
effect  of  a  nettle  under  a  donkey's  tail — you  then  go  outside 
and  mutually  destroy  as  much  of  each  other  as  can  be  effected 
in  a  fight.  Some  weeks  later,  when  the  vanquished  is  able  to 
crawl  away  from  the  dispensary  doctor,  and  so  save  his  own 
life  amid  the  dire  forebodings  of  that  physician,  who  refuses 
to  answer  for  the  consequences,  you  begin  to  drink  with  him 
again  just  to  show  there  is  no  ill-feeling  ;  which  of  course 
there  is  not,  if  you  and  he  are  both  real  Kerry  men. 
Naturally,  if  you  get  a  sullen,  revengeful,  calculating  Pro- 
testant from  the  North,  it 's  another  matter,  for  he  '11  be  far 
too  friendly  with  the  constabulary  and  won't  hold  with  the 
good  old  local  ways  approved  by  every  Kerry  Papist  and 
tolerated  by  most  of  the  priests. 

In  1 85 1  there  was  a  Kerry  election.     A  Protestant  candi- 


93 


94   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

date  stood,  and  so  did  one  who  in  those  days  was  a  Whig. 
I  went  stoutly  for  the  Protectionist,  but  the  priests  plumped 
for  the  Free  Trader,  and  their  congregations  have  been 
regretting  it  ever  since. 

One  tenant  was  driving  in  a  gig  with  me  to  the  poll  when 
a  priest  passed  me  on  the  road  and  said  to  my  tenant  : — 

*  May  the  blast  of  the  Almighty  be  upon  you,  for  I  know 
you  are  being  taken  to  vote  the  wrong  way.' 

The  tenant  got  very  nervous,  for  in  those  times  it  was 
generally  believed  that  the  priests  had  power  to  change  men 
into  frogs  and  toads,  a  superstition  by  no  means  obsolete  even 
now  in  lone  districts.  However,  I  took  him  along  very  easily, 
giving  him  the  benefit  of  the  roll  of  my  tongue  as  to  what 
he  should  do,  and  before  he  reached  the  polling-booth  he 
recovered  and  voted  for  the  Tory. 

A  Mr.  Scully  from  Tipperary  was  the  Whig  candidate,  and 
the  family  was  not  popular  in  its  own  county. 

A  Cork  man,  making  inquiries  of  a  Tipperary  man  about 
him,  was  answered  : — 

*  I  don't  know  this  gentleman  personally,  but  I  believe  we 
have  already  shot  the  best  of  the  family.' 

Mr.  Scully  was  a  very  amusing  man,  and  in  the  House 
of  Commons  he  used  to  go  by  the  nickname  of  '  old 
Skull.' 

Lord  Monk  accosted  him  by  this  name  one  night,  and 
Mr.  Scully  replied  : — 

'  If  you  have  taken  the  '*  e  y  "  off  your  own  name,  my  lord, 
it  is  no  reason  you  should  do  it  off  mine.' 

Here  is  another  story  of  him. 

Mr.  Dillwyn  said  to  him,  a  Roman  Catholic  : — 

'  I  have  lived  sixty  years  in  this  world,  and  I  don't  yet 
know  the  difference  between  the  two  religions.' 


KERRY  ELECTIONS  95 

*  Bydad,'  retorted  Scully,  '  you  will  not  have  been  five 
minutes  in  the  other  without  finding  it  out.' 

Shortly  after  the  franchise  was  enlarged — which  threw 
Imperial  Parliament  at  the  mercy  of  the  ignorant — old  Lord 
Kenmare  died  and  the  present  peer  was  called  up  to  the 
House  of  Lords. 

Lord  Kenmare  was  the  most  popular  landlord  in  Kerry, 
and  he  selected  a  Roman  Catholic  cousin  of  his,  Mr.  Dease, 
to  stand  for  the  county,  Mr.  Roland  Blennerhasset,  a  young 
Protestant  landlord,  being  started  against  him  in  support  of 
Home  Rule  principles. 

The  Roman  Catholic  bishop  and  most  of  the  priests  backed 
Mr.  Dease,  but  the  Home  Rule  candidate  beat  him  by  three 
to  one.  Some  of  the  priests,  who  were  very  obnoxious  to  the 
people,  supported  Mr.  Blennerhasset,  and  were  then  idoHsed, 
whilst  a  very  popular  parish  priest,  who  canvassed  for  Mr. 
Dease,  had  to  run  for  his  life. 

From  thenceforth  no  one  but  a  Home  Rule  candidate  had 
any  chance  in  Munster,  and  Mr.  Roland  Blennerhasset,  having 
seen  the  error  of  his  ways,  afterwards  became  a  Unionist 
candidate  in  England.  He  is  a  very  clever  man,  who  was 
quite  young  then,  but  has  now  blossomed  into  a  K.C.  in 
London,  and  is  mighty  shrewd  about  speculations. 

The  election  was  great  fun  except  for  the  stones  and 
bricks,  of  which  enough  were  thrown  about  to  build  a  city 
without  foundations.  Mr.  Dease  got  a  blow  on  his  ribs  at 
Castle  Island,  which  told  on  his  health,  and  he  died  soon 
afterwards.  He  was  a  brother  of  Sir  Gerald  Dease,  and  a 
man  very  much  liked. 

It  was  during  this  election  that  I  was  fired  at  one  night 
at  Aghadoe,  returning  from  Puck  Fair  at  Killorghin. 
A  rumour  was   started  that  it  was  the  work  of  one  of  the 


96   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

tenants  on  Sir  George  Colthurst's  Cork  estates,  and  the  Tralee 
correspondent  of  the  Examiner  telegraphed  his  belief  in  this, 
adding  *  so  repugnant  are  Kerry  men  to  these  dastardly 
outrages.' 

They  took  to  them  as  greedily  as  a  duck  to  water  in  later 
times,  as  all  the  world  knows  ;  and  in  the  light  of  subsequent 
events  it  is  delightful  to  remember  that  the  Freeman  stated, 
*  All  condemn  this  dastardly  act,  for  Mr.  Hussey  is  universally 
respected.' 

It  atoned  for  this  lapse  into  truth  by  subsequently  taking 
my  name  in  vain  hundreds  of  times  in  the  bad  periods  that 
were  ahead. 

There  had  been  a  libel  case  between  the  Rev.  Denis 
O'Donoghue,  parish  priest  of  Ardfert,  and  myself.  The 
address  of  this  cleric  in  proposing  Mr.  Blennerhasset  at  the 
nomination  had  annoyed  those  he  assailed  intensely.  Up 
to  that  point  I  had  been  utterly  indifferent,  but  after  that  I 
strained  every  nerve  to  defeat  Father  O'Donoghue's  nominee. 

This  is  an  extract  from  his  speech  at  Ardfert  : — 

*  Sam  Hussey  is  a  vulture  with  a  broken  beak,  and  he  laid 
his  voracious  talons  on  the  consciences  of  the  voters.  (Boos.) 
The  ugly  scowl  of  Sam  Hussey  came  down  upon  them.  He 
wanted  to  try  the  influence  of  his  dark  nature  on  the  poor 
people.  (Groans).  Where  was  the  legitimate  influence  of  such 
a  man  ?  Was  it  in  the  white  terror  he  diffused  ^  Was  it  not 
the  espionage,  the  network  of  spies  with  which  he  surrounded 
his  lands  }  He  denied  that  a  man  who  managed  property  had 
for  that  reason  a  shadow  of  a  shade  of  influence  to  justify  him 
in  asking  a  tenant  for  his  vote.  What  had  they  to  thank 
him  for  '^.  ' 

A  voice  :  '  Rack  rents.' 

*  They  knew  the  man  from  his  boyhood,  from  his  gossoon- 


KERRY  ELECTIONS  97 

hood.  He  knew  him  when  he  began  with  a  collop  of  sheep  as 
his  property  in  the  world.  (Laughter.)  Long  before  he  got 
God's  mark  on  him.  It  was  not  the  man's  fault  but  his 
misfortune  that  he  got  no  education.  (Laughter.)  He  had  in 
that  parish  schoolmasters  who  could  teach  him  grammar  for 
the  next  ten  years.  The  man  was  in  fact  a  Uriah  Heep 
among  Kerry  landlords.      (Cheers.)' 

The  result  of  this  and  other  incentives  to  irritability  was 
that  the  voters  for  Mr.  Dease  had  to  be  escorted  by  troops 
and  constabulary. 

The  sporting  proclivities  had  already  been  shown  over  a 
race.  In  tlje  County  Club  at  Tralee  there  was  an  altercation 
between  Mr.  Sandes  and  a  leading  '  Deasite '  as  to  the  rival 
merits  of  a  bay  mare  belonging  to  one  and  a  chestnut  horse 
owned  by  the  other. 

Quoth  Mr.  Sandes  : — 

'  I  '11  run  you  a  two  mile  steeplechase  for  a  hundred 
guineas  if  you  like,  and  I  '11  call  my  horse  Home  Rule — do 
you  call  yours  Deasite  ;  each  to  ride  his  own  horse.' 

No  Kerry  man  could  refuse  such  a  challenge,  and  the  race 
excited  more  interest  than  the  election. 

Mr.  Sandes  won,  leaving  '  Deasite '  nowhere,  and  this 
helped  Mr.  Blennerhasset  to  head  the  poll. 

More  than  one  man  is  asserted  to  have  voted  for  : — 

'  Him  you  know  that  me  landlord  wants  me  to  vote  for.' 

But  I  should  say  several  dozen  voted  for  : — 

*  Him  you  know  that  the  priest,  God  bless  him,  tells  me 
to  vote  for.' 

The  libel  over  which  the  action  arose  was  alleged  to  have 
been  published  in  the  Cork  Examiner^  and  the  words  com- 
plained of  were  pretty  sturdy. 

The   jury    returned    a    verdict    of  one   farthing   for   the 


98    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

plaintiff  priest,  and  I  do  not  think  he  derived  as  much 
advertisement  out  of  it  as  Miss  Marie  Corelli  obtained  from 
a  similar  coin  of  the  realm. 
;  '  Of  course  all  this  should  have  shown  me  that  I  had  in  my 
own  interests  better  keep  clear  of  Kerry  politics,  but  after  I 
had  bought  the  Harenc  estate,  I  stood  for  Tralee  as  a  Tory 
against  The  O'Donoghue,  who  was  a  Nationalist.  I  never 
supposed  I  was  going  to  get  in,  but  I  really  had  a  capital 
run  for  the  Parliamentary  Handicap,  though  I  was  weighted 
by  political  convictions  and  penalised  by  my  creed.  The 
priests  made  a  most  active  set  against  me.  There  were  only 
fifty  Protestants  on  the  register,  and  yet  I  managed  to  get  one 
hundred  and  thirty  votes,  for  which  suffrages  some  eighty 
honest  men  must  have  been  well  worrited  in  the  confessional. 

The  O'Donoghue  polled  one  hundred  and  eighty  votes, 
and  I  believe  a  good  many  of  his  supporters  had  strong  views 
on  the  currency  question,  and  he  was  backed  by  a  wealthy 
merchant.  The  constituency  is  now  merged  into  the  county, 
and  the  remotest  chance  of  returning  a  rational  member  is 
now  at  an  end. 

The  O'Donoghue  did  not  stand  after  the  merging  of  the 
constituency,  though  he  was  well  used  to  electioneering  work 
and  had  fought  me  very  pleasantly,  with  as  much  devil  about 
him  as  would  make  an  angel  palatable. 

I  did  not  much  care  for  the  whole  thing.  Still  I  was 
always  a  bit  of  a  stormy  petrel  rejoicing  in  a  gale,  and  my 
capacity  has  not  waned  even  in  my  eightieth  year. 

The  mob  indulged  in  some  lively  work.  A  good  many 
windows  of  houses  belonging  to  my  supporters  were  broken 
and  a  man  stabbed. 

The  polling  day  was  made  the  occasion  of  a  public 
holiday,  which  meant   that  the   bulk   of  the   population   was 


KERRY  ELECTIONS  99 

imbibing  a  great  deal  more  than  was  compatible  with  the 
laws  of  equilibrium.  Some  amusement  was  caused  by  the 
panic  of  The  O'Donoghue's  supporters  at  the  votes  I  was 
getting,  and  presently  they  brought  up  in  cars  one  poor  man 
in  an  advanced  stage  of  consumption,  and  another  unable  to 
walk  from  old  age. 

It  was  a  wearisome  day  to  me  ;  but  before  its  close  it 
became  abundantly  evident  that  if  the  electors  were  allowed 
to  exercise  a  free  discretion  and  vote  according  to  their  con- 
sciences, I  should  have  headed  the  poll  by  a  large  majority. 
However  in  Ireland  man  proposes  and  the  priest  disposes. 

At  a  meeting  of  the  Conservative  electors  in  Cork,  Mr. 
Standford  read  a  telegram  announcing  the  return  of  The 
O'Donoghue  in  Tralee,  which  was  received  with  hisses.  He 
said  the  reason  I  had  stood  there  was  a  requisition,  signed  by 
Sir  Henry  Donovan,  in  the  presence  of  nine  grand  jurors  of 
the  County  of  Kerry,  calling  on  me  to  do  so.  Sir  Henry 
Donovan  had  since  turned  over  to  The  O'Donoghue  from 
the  man  he  had  forced  into  the  field.  Now  that  would 
teach  them  not  to  be  fooled  by  Liberal  promises.  It  almost 
made  him  believe  no  truth,  no  honour,  and  no  sincerity  existed 
among  their  opponents. 

This  was  received  with  applause,  which  was  renewed  with 
laughter  when  Mr.  Young  observed  : — 

*  I  will  make  one  remark.  I  think  Sir  Henry  Donovan 
and  The  O'Donoghue  are  well  met.' 

To  show  that  strong  views  in  my  favour  were  not  confined 
to  Protestants,  I  may  quote  the  following  letter  written  from 
the  Augustinian  Convent  in  Drogheda  by  J.  A.  Anderson, 
O.S.A.  :— 

*  If  the  electors  of  Tralee  return  Mr.  O'Donoghue  {alias 
The    O'Donoghue)    as    their    representative    in   the    coming 


lOo  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Parliament,  they  will  be  false  to  Ireland,  false  to  the  men  that 
galvanised  the  dead  body  that  Gavan  Duffy  left  on  "  the  dis- 
secting table  "  before  starting  for  Australia,  and  they  will  have 
the  honour  (?)  of  returning  to  Parliament  the  greatest  political 
renegade  to  Irish  nationality  that  this  generation  has  known.' 

A  lady  has  recently  drawn  my  attention  to  a  footnote  in 
Mr.  Lecky's  History  of  Ireland^  where  is  quoted  from  a  letter 
of  my  ancestor,  Colonel  Maurice  Hussey,  the  following 
opinion  : — 

'  It — i.e.  Tralee — was  a  nest  of  thieves  and  smugglers,  and 
so  it  always  will  be  until  nine  parts  of  ten  of  O'Donoghue's 
old  followers  be  proclaimed  and  hanged  on  gibbets  on  the 
spot.' 

So  when  O'Donoghues  have  troubled  me,  it  is  a  case  of 
history  repeating  itself,  and  if  the  percentage  of  the  followers 
of  the  modern  chieftain  had  been  'removed' — as  the  modern 
phrase  in  Ireland  ran — according  to  the  manner  advocated 
by  my  ancestor,  I  could  have  voted  in  Parliament  against 
dismembering  the  Empire  to  gratify  the  eagerness  of  an  old 
man  to  truckle  to  the  traitors  of  the  country  intrusted  to 
his  care. 


CHAPTER   XI 


DRINK 


Of  course  one  of  the  great  troubles  in  Ireland  is  drink.  I 
am  no  advocate  for  teetotalism,  for  I  think  a  man  who  can 
enjoy  a  moderate  glass  is  a  better  one  than  his  brother  who 
has  to  drink  water  in  order  that  he  may  not  yield  to  the  over- 
powering '  tempitation  ' — to  quote  Mr.  Huntley  Wright — to 
get  drunk  !  But  for  my  fellow-countrymen  I  can  see  that 
drink  is  a  terrible  curse,  one  which  is  the  cause  of  half  the 
crime,  half  the  illness,  and  more  than  half  the  misery  that 
exists  there. 

Of  all  Irish  benefactors,  possibly  Father   Mathew  was  the 

.greatest ;  but  in  my  boyish  days,  when  it  became  known  that 

men,  not  yet  in  a  lunatic  asylum,  had  taken  up  the  notion 

that  human  life  was  possible  without  alcoholic  drinks,  the  wits 

of  Kerry  and  Cork  were  heartily  diverted  at  the  bare  idea. 

It  used  to  be  the  stock  joke  after  dinner,  even  when  Father 
Mathew  was  in  the  zenith  of  his  triumph. 

In  Cork  if  you  laugh  at  a  thing  you  can  generally  suppress 
it,  for,  whereas  all  Irishmen  are  keenly  susceptible  to  ridicule, 
the  Cork  folk  are  even  more  so. 

The  cold  water  business  furnished  endless  jests,  but  it 
survived  them. 

Perhaps  the  strangest  thing  of  all  was  the  clergyman  who 
preached  against  it  as  being  irreligious,  taking  as  the  text  of 
his  sermon,  '  Wine,  that  maketh  glad  the  heart  of  man.' 


101 


102  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

I  like  a  man  who  is  disinterested,  therefore  I  wish  to 
remind  the  present  generation  that  Father  Mathew  came  of  a 
stock  of  distillers,  and  his  family  was  among  the  first  to  suffer 
by  his  preaching. 

It  was  probable  there  would  be  a  reaction  after  his  death  ; 
and  when  that  event  took  place,  after  the  famine  and  fever, 
none  really  took  his  place  to  warn  the  diminishing  population, 
in  sufficiently  effective  fashion,  of  all  the  ills  that  drink  was 
laying  up  for  them. 

Wherever,  in  my  work,  I  found  Government  relief  works, 
within  a  stone's  throw  of  every  pay  office  a  whisky  shop 
started  into  operation. 

New  Ireland  arose  from  the  famine,  and  she  has  never 
since  shown  much  sign  of  temperance.  Indeed,  an  excessive 
amount  of  money  is,  and  has  ever  since  then  been,  spent  on 
liquor  in  Ireland. 

At  Castleisland,  the  scene  of  so  many  outrages,  the  popula- 
tion of  the  town  is  thirteen  hundred,  and  the  number  of  whisky 
shops  is  fifty-two.  Very  nearly  the  same  proportion  can  be 
noticed  in  several  other  towns. 

There  never  was  an  outrage  committed  without  an  empty 
whisky  bottle  being  found  close  to  the  scene  of  the  murder. 

In  the  worst  time  a  moonlighter  slept  for  a  fortnight  close 
to  the  house  of  an  Irish  landlord,  who  was  well  aware  that  he 
was  there  for  the  express  purpose  of  shooting  him,  but  he 
never  even  attempted  it. 

'  Time  after  time  I  lay  in  a  ditch  to  have  a  go  at  him,  but 
he  would  ride  by,  looking  for  all  the  world  as  if  he  would 
shoot  a  flea  off  the  tail  of  a  shnipe,  so  that,  with  all  the 
whisky  in  the  world  to  help  me,  I  dared  not  do  it,'  was  his 
explanation  before  he  left  for  America. 

Did  you  never  hear  the  parish  priest's  sermon  ? 


DRINK  103 

'  It 's  whisky  makes  you  bate  your  wives  ;  it 's  whisky 
makes  your  homes  desolate ;  it 's  whisky  makes  you  shoot 
your  landlords,  and ' — with  emphasis,  as  he  thumped  the  pulpit 
— '  it 's  whisky  makes  you  miss  them.' 

There  is  as  much  truth  in  that  sermon  as  in  any  that  was 
preached  last  Sunday  between  Belfast  and  GlengarifF. 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  the  profits  to  the  drink  retailer  are  not 
so  enormous  as  might  be  imagined,  owing  to  the  competition. 

In  the  neighbourhood  of  Castleisland  there  is  one  group  of 
twelve  houses  and  nine  of  these  are  whisky  booths.  However 
anxious  the  population  may  be  to  consume  immoderate  amounts 
of  the  fiery  liquor,  and  however  large  the  traffic  on  the  road 
— never  a  big  thing  in  Ireland,  except  on  market-day — the 
division  of  the  local  receipts  by  nine  is  apt  to  diminish  the 
profits  in  each  case. 

It  has  been  suggested  to  me  by  a  lady  who  knows  Kerry 
well,  that  the  consumption  of  drink  might  be  diminished  if  a 
law  were  passed  forcing  the  publicans  to  sell  food.  As  she 
very  truly  remarks,  it  is  often  impossible  for  the  country  folk, 
even  on  market-day,  when  coming  into  a  town,  to  get  food  for 
immediate  consumption. 

However,  I  do  not  think  this  would  have  any  effect. 
When  away  from  his  cabin  the  Irishman  and  the  Irishwoman 
want  drink,  not  food,  for  there  are  a  few  potatoes  at  home 
which  will  provide  all  the  solid  sustenance  most  of  them 
desire. 

If  her  proposal  were  made  law,  each  publican  would  keep  a 
loaf  in  his  window,  and  there  it  would  stay  for  a  year. 

That  reminds  me  of  the  man  who  was  waiting  in  Water- 
ford  Station  on  March  12th,  and  to  pass  the  time  had  a  ham 
sandwich  at  the  bar. 

After  one  mouthful  he  asked  the  astonished  barmaid  for 


I04  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

another,  made  of  February  bread,  because  he  really  felt  that  it 
was  time  January  bread  might  have  a  rest. 

To  give  an  example  of  how  Irishmen  crave  for  drink,  I  will 
relate  an  incident  connected  with  the  Parnell  Commission. 

Three  of  Lord  Kenmare's  tenants  had  been  sent  over  in 
charge  of  an  experienced  and  reliable  man  to  give  evidence, 
and  on  their  return  journey,  when  they  arrived  at  North 
Wall— the  hour  being  6  a.m. — the  conductor  said: — 

'  There  is  cold  meat,  or  bread  and  cheese.  Now,  what 
will  your  fancy  be  ^ ' 

Far  from  wanting  nutrition  after  an  all  night  journey, 
or  even  the  soothing  solace  of  a  cup  of  tea,  it  was  half  a  pint 
of  whisky  apiece  that  they  all  asked  for. 

Just  as  much  drinking  exists  among  the  Protestants  as 
among  the  Roman  Catholics,  only  there  is  a  trifle  more 
geniality  in  the  bibulous  propensities  of  the  latter.  Much  less 
affects  an  Irishman  than  a  Scotsman.  The  latter,  when  he 
has  absorbed  all  the  whisky  he  can  assimilate  in  a  bout — and 
no  bad  amount  it  is,  let  me  observe — will  go  quietly  to  sleep. 
But  an  Irishman's  joy  is  incomplete  unless  he  knocks  some- 
body down,  which  may  account  for  the  fact  that  the  Irish  are 
the  best  soldiers  in  the  world. 

One  redeeming  feature  in  the  liquor  traffic  is  the  increasing 
consumption  of  porter,  for  that  at  least  has  some  nourishment 
in  it,  and  is  reasonably  wholesome,  whereas  the  whisky  is  vilely 
adulterated,  not  only  by  the  publicans  before  it  reaches  the 
consumer,  but  also  in  some  of  the  factories. 

Puck  Fair  is  the  great  annual  fete  and  mart  of  Killorglin  ; 
and  it  is  so  called  because  a  goat  is  always  fastened  to  a  stave 
on  a  platform,  and  gaily  bedizened.  Formerly  the  animal  was 
attached  to  the  flagstaff  on  the  Castle.  To  this  fair  all  Kerry 
for    many    miles    congregates,    and    the    neighbouring    roads 


DRINK  105 

towards  evening  are  literally  strewn  with  bibulous  individuals 
of  either  sex. 

On  one  occasion  a  Killorglin  publican  was  in  jail,  and  his 
father  asked  for  an  interview  because  he  wanted  the  recipe  for 
manufacturing  the  special  whisky  for  Puck  Fair,  It  has  been 
a  constant  practice  to  prepare  this  blend,  but  the  whisky  does 
not  keep  many  days,  as  may  be  gathered  from  the  recipe, 
which  the  prisoner  without  hesitation  dictated  to  his  parent : — 

A  gallon  of  fresh,  fiery  whisky.  A  pint  of  rum.  A  pint 
of  methylated  spirit.  Two  ounces  of  corrosive  sublimate. 
Three  gallons  of  water. 

An  Irishman's  constitution  must  be  tougher  than  that  of 
an  ostrich  to  enable  him  to  consume  much  of  the  filthy  poison. 
Temperance  orators  are  welcome  to  make  what  use  they  like 
of  the  recipe  of  this  awful  decoction,  annually  sold  to  a  con- 
fiding population. 

It  is  not  considered  etiquette  to  come  out  of  Killorglin 
sober  on  Puck  Fair ;  and,  judging  by  the  state  of  the  people 
in  the  vicinity  in  the  evening,  this  social  custom  is  rigidly 
observed. 

They  are  wonderfully  particular  in  Kerry  in  attending  to 
exactly  what  is  congenial  to  them,  and  if  it  were  not  for  the 
thickness  of  their  heads  a  good  many  lives  would  be  lost. 

There  was  a  gauger,  in  a  central  county  in  Ireland,  killed 
by  a  blow  on  the  head  from  a  stick. 

The  man  who  struck  him,  in  his  defence,  stated : — 

'  I  did  not  hit  him  a  very  hard  blow,  and  why  the  devil 
did  the  Government  make  a  gauger  of  a  man  that  had  a  head 
no  thicker  than  an  egg-shell  t ' 

Mighty  few  of  the  Killorglin  folk  have  egg-shell  heads, 
and  the  bulk  of  these  do  not  come  to  maturity. 

The  avowed  fact  that  lunacy  is  largely  on  the  increase  in 


io6  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Ireland  has  been  pronounced  by  the  committee  which  sat  on 
the  question  in  Dublin  to  be  mainly  due,  not  only  to  excessive 
drinking,  but  to  the  assimilation  of  adulterated  spirits. 

Though  the  foregoing  recipe  furnishes  a  pretty  fair  example, 
I  certainly  would  not  wager  that  it  could  not  be  beaten  else- 
where in  Ireland. 

For  a  long  time  the  priests  were  entirely  apathetic  on  the 
subject,  but  latterly  they  are  bestirring  themselves,  and  are 
doing  their  best  to  put  down  wakes,  which  simply  mean  one 
or  more  nights  of  disgusting  intemperance  in  the  immediate 
vicinity  of  the  corpse. 

Keening,  by  the  way,  is  dying  out,  and  what  remains  of 
this  curious,  mournful  waiting  is  now  almost  entirely  in  the 
hands  of  old  women  who  are  experts  in  the  art,  and  get 
remunerated  not  only  in  drink  but  also  in  cash. 

It  is,  however,  possible  that  when  I  am  deploring  the 
alcoholic  tendencies  of  the  Irishman,  that  these  may  be  due  to 
his  more  vegetarian  dietary,  and  not  to  any  undue  natural 
craving  for  alcohol.  This  is  borne  out  by  the  fact  that  no 
Irishman  will  willingly  drink  alone,  and  that  his  potations  are 
in  the  shops  where  whisky  and  porter  are  sold  for  consumption 
on  the  premises,  or  at  fairs,  markets,  weddings,  or  wakes,  to 
the  diminishing  number  of  which  I  have  just  called  attention. 

The  parish  priest  of  Dingle  recently  stated  in  court  that 
in  a  population  of  seventeen  hundred  there  were  over  fifty 
licensed  houses,  and  he  rightly  declared  that  all  dealings  in 
licences  should  for  the  present  be  only  by  transfer,  and  that 
for  five  years  at  least  no  new  licences  should  be  granted. 
The  argument  so  often  heard  against  stopping  licences  is 
that  then  more  illicit  drinking  will  ensue,  but  this  does  not 
convince  me  that  the  redundant  licences  should  be  renewed. 

My  remedy  would  be  to  increase  all  renewals  of  licences 


DRINK  107 

to  fifty  pounds  apiece,  and  to  apply  the  diiFerence  as  com- 
pensation to  unrenewed  licences.  If  a  man  fits  up  his  house 
as  a  shebeen,  and  has  conducted  it  tolerably,  he  ought  to 
receive  just  compensation  when  his  licence  is  cancelled  owing 
to  there  being  too  many  in  a  district. 

If  this  is  not  done,  he  would  be  the  victim  of  as  great  a 
robbery  as  was  perpetrated  on  the  unfortunate  landlords  by 
the  Land  Act. 

I  have  a  yarn  or  two  on  the  subject  of  drink  which  may  be 
appropriately  related  here. 

Old  David  Burus,  the  steward  at  Ardrum,  County  Cork, 
was  a  great  character  who  had  got  inextricably  confused 
between  the  Council  of  Trent  and  the  Trant  family  in  the 
vicinity,  and  no  amount  of  explanation  could  ever  enlighten 
him.     Directly  he  had  begun  to  be  jovial,  he  used  to  say  : — 

'  My  blessing  on  Councillor  Trent,  who  put  a  fast  on 
meat,  but  not  on  drink.' 

And  he  proved  the  devoutness  of  his  gratitude  by  con- 
scientiously getting  drunk  every  Friday. 

That  recalls  to  my  mind  the  case  of  the  illustrious  gentle- 
man— also  a  fellow-countryman,  I  regret  to  say — who  committed 
burglary  and  murder  when  there  was  an  opportunity,  but  re- 
ligiously refrained  from  eating  meat  on  Friday. 

Reverting  to  David  Burus  :  on  one  occasion  I  remonstrated 
with  him  on  the  amount  of  whisky  he  drank. 

'  I  did  drink  a  great  deal  of  whisky,  and  I  would  have 
drunk  more,'  was  his  reply,  '  if  I  had  known  it  was  going  to 
be  as  dear  as  it  is  now.' 

He  evidently  regretted  not  having  thoroughly  saturated 
himself  with  alcohol.  It  was  the  only  way  in  which  he  could 
have  possibly  increased  his  consumption. 

He  was  wont  to  say  that  if  he  had  known  the  trick  Mr. 


io8  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Gladstone  was  going  to  play  on  honest,  God-fearing  men, 
with  sound  stomachs  and  a  decent  appetite,  by  imposing  a 
ten  shilling  duty  on  every  gallon  of  whisky,  he  would  have 
drunk  his  fill  beforehand,  even  if  delirium  tremens  had  been 
the  penalty. 

Such  hard  drinking  as  his,  and  so  calmly  avowed,  must, 
even  in  the  south  of  Ireland,  be  fortunately  rare,  for  few  con- 
stitutions can  stand  conversion  into  animated  whisky  vats. 

There  was  a  farmer  at  Kanturk  railway  station  who  con- 
fided to  the  stationmaster  that  he  himself  on  the  previous 
evening  had  been  as  drunk  as  the  very  devil. 

A  parson  on  the  platform,  overhearing  him,  said : — 

'  You  make  a  mistake,  my  friend,  the  devil  does  not  drink. 
He  keeps  his  head  cool  for  the  express  purpose  of  watching 
such  as  you.' 

The  countryman  replied  : — 

'  You  seem  to  be  very  well  acquainted  with  the  respected 
gentleman's  habits,  your  riverince.' 

And  then  they  walked  ofF  different  ways. 

Which  reminds  me  of  another  clerical  incident. 

A  parish  priest  within  twenty  miles  of  Tralee,  who  sub- 
sequently left  the  Church — I  will  not  say  on  account  of 
his  thirst,  though,  as  that  was  unquenchable,  it  no  doubt 
conduced  to  his  retirement — came  into  the  parlour  of  the 
manager  of  the  bank  with  two  farmers  to  have  a  bill  dis- 
counted. 

The  manager,  having  ascertained  the  farmers  were  good 
security,  cashed  the  bill  and  gave  the  proceeds  to  the  priest. 
He  was  very  much  surprised  on  the  following  day  at  the  two 
farmers  walking  into  his  room  with  the  money. 

'  What 's  the  meaning  of  this  .? '  says  he. 

'  Well,  your  honour,  we  could  not  stay  in  the  parish,  if  we 


DRINK  109 

refused  to  join  his  reverence  in  the  deal,  which  was  sure  to 
be  a  very  bad  one  for  us.  So  we  thought  the  best  thing  to 
do  was  to  get  him  a  little  hearty  at  his  own  expense  on  the 
way  home.  And  then  we  picked  his  pocket  and  have  brought 
the  money  to  your  honour,  whilst  he  is  cursing  every  thief 
outside  his  parish,  and  will  probably  ask  the  congregation  to 
make  up  the  amount  next  Sunday.' 

And  that  is  a  true  story,  and  as  illustrative  of  the  Irish 
peasant  as  any  you  could  ever  get  told  to  you. 

A  coffin-maker  named  Sullivan  thrived  in  Tralee.  He 
received  an  order  for  a  coffin  for  a  man  living  about  six  miles 
away  from  the  town.  It  was  not  called  for  for  a  week,  and 
so  he  went  out  to  the  house  where  the  man  lay  dead  to  inquire 
the  cause. 

When  he  came  back  to  Tralee,  he  said  to  a  friend  : — 

'  Who  do  you  think  I  saw,  Mick,  but  that  scoundrel  of  a 
corpse  sitting  in  a  ditch  eating  a  piece  of  pig's  cheek.' 

That  reminds  me  of  another  coffin  story. 

A  man  who  lived  in  Cork  was  notorious  for  being  always 
behind  time  for  everything.  He  knew  his  failing,  and  was 
rather  touchy  about  it. 

One  night,  stumbling  out  of  a  whisky  shop,  he  lurched  into 
a  yard,  fell  against  a  door,  which  gave  way,  and  finished  his 
slumbers  peacefully  in  the  shed,  which  was  the  storehouse  of 
an  undertaker. 

In  the  morning  he  awoke,  rubbed  his  eyes  in  astonishment 
at  the  strange  surroundings  amid  which  he  found  himself,  and 
after  recollecting  his  own  pet  proclivity,  as  he  ruefully  surveyed 
all  the  empty  coffins,  ejaculated  : — 

'  Just  my  usual  luck.     Late  for  the  Resurrection.' 

Which  recalls  another  tale  : — 

A  man  was   dead  drunk,   so    some   friends,  for   a  lark, 


no  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

brought  him  into  a  dark  room,  lit  a  lot  of  phosphorus,  and 
made  up  one  of  their  party  in  the  guise  of  a  devil  before  they 
flung  a  bucket  of  water  over  their  victim. 

'  Where  am  I  ? '  asked  the  fellow,  looking  round  '  skeered.' 

'  In  hell,'  retorted  the  devil,  with  exaggerated  solemnity. 

'  Heaven  bless  your  honour,  as  you  know  the  ways  of  the 
place,  will  you  get  me  a  drop  of  drink  ? ' 

But  a  mere  drop  does  not  suffice  as  a  friend  of  mine 
found  out. 

He  was  wont  to  reward  his  car-driver  with  a  glass  of 
whisky,  and  gave  it  to  him  in  an  antique  glass,  which  did 
not  contain  as  much  as  cabby  wished  for. 

'  That 's  a  very  quare  glass,  captain,'  says  he. 

'  Yes,'  replied  Captain  Stevens  ;  '  that 's  blown  glass.' 

'  Why,  Captain,'  says  the  carman,  '  the  man  must  have 
been  damned  short  in  the  breath  that  blew  that.' 

This  would  no  doubt  have  been  the  opinion  of  a  Dublin 
carman  who  was  in  the  habit  of  bringing  a  present  to  an 
acquaintance  of  mine  from  a  lady  living  at  some  distance,  and 
being  recompensed  with  a  glass  of  grog.  By  degrees,  how- 
ever, the  water  grew  to  be  the  predominant  partner  in  the 
union  within  the  glass,  so  at  last  he  burst  out  in  disgust  : — 

'  If  you  threw  a  tumbler  of  whisky  over  Carlisle  Bridge, 
it  would  be  better  grog  than  that  at  the  Pigeon  House.' 

Which  being  interpreted  into  cockneyism  would  read,  '  If 
you  threw  a  glass  of  whisky  over  Westminster  Bridge  it 
would  be  better  grog  than  that  at  Greenwich  Pier.' 

Still  all  consumption  of  liquor  is  not  confined  to  Ireland, 
and  I  well  remember  when  I  was  with  Bogue  in  Scotland, 
that  one  night  he  had  a  fellow-farmer  of  the  very  best  type 
to  dine  with  him,  and  about  ten  o'clock,  with  much  difficulty, 
my  man  and  I  hoisted  him  into  the  saddle. 


DRINK  1 1 1 

An  hour  afterwards  we  heard  a  knock  at  the  door,  and  a 
voice  rather  quaveringly  inquired  : — 

'  Pleash,  can  you  tell  me  the  way  to  X.,  I  have  lost  my 
way  ? ' 

The  tracks  next  morning  revealed  he  had  been  riding 
round  and  round  the  house  without  once  quitting  the  vicinity, 
which  was  almost  as  bad  as  Mark  Twain's  famous  nocturnal 
perambulation  with  his  pedometer,  when  he  went  on  a  tramp 
abroad  ! 

Of  potation  stories  I  could  tell  scores  more,  and  the  Tralee 
Club  has  seen  enough  whisky  imbibed  within  its  walls  to 
drown  all  the  members. 

A  quaint  character  named  MuUane  was  at  one  time 
steward,  and  decidedly  astonished  a  member,  who  was  a 
total  abstainer,  by  charging  him  in  his  bill  for  three  tumblers 
of  punch. 

'Well,'  explained  Mullane,  'it's  this  way.  Some  take  six 
tumblers,  and  some  takes  none,  so  I  strikes  an  average — and 
to  tell  you  the  truth,  it 's  mighty  convenient  for  the  great 
majority.' 

A  quaint  member  of  the  club  was  Mr.  Edward  Morris. 
He  was  extremely  diminutive,  and  he  wore  an  eyeglass.  One 
evening  he  was  standing  on  the  first  landing,  pondering  in 
a  bemused  state  whether  he  could  get  downstairs  without 
falling,  when  a  pursey  little  doctor  trotted  past  him  without 
even  touching  the  bannister. 

This  inspired  Morris  with  courage,  so  he  let  go  his  hold 
of  the  balustrade,  whereupon  he  promptly  fell  on  the  physician, 
and  both  rolled  to  the  bottom  of  the  stairs. 

Thence  in  hiccuping  tones  were  heard  : — 
'  Waiter  !     Waiter,  put  the  glass  in  my  eye,  and  let  me 
see  who  the  scoundrel  was  who  struck  me.' 


112  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

On  another  evening  in  the  club,  when  he  had  imbibed 
very  freely,  he  ordered  an  additional  glass  of  grog,  and  began 
to  moralise  aloud,  addressing  it  after  this  fashion  : — 

'  Glass  of  grog,  if  I  drink  you  now,  you  '11  cut  the  legs 
from  under  me.  And  yet  I  want  you,  and  I  will  not  do 
without  you.  So  I  know  what  I  will  do.  I  '11  go  to  bed 
and  I  '11  drink  you  there,  for  I  don't  care  a  damn  what  you 
do  to  me  then.' 

The  indifference  of  a  drunken  man  to  subsequent  conse- 
quences was  rather  quaintly  shown  by  that  weird  individual 
Dr.  Tanner,  when  he  went  up  to  Sir  Ellis  Ashmead  Bartlett 
in  the  lobby  of  the  House  of  Commons,  and  abruptly 
observed  : — 

'  You  're  a  fool.' 

Sir  Ellis  fixed  him  with  his  eyeglass,  and,  in  disgusted 
tones,  replied  : — 

*  You  're  drunk.' 

'  I  suppose  so,'  retorted  the  Irishman,  '  but  then  I  '11  be 
sober  to  -  morrow ' — in  the  most  plaintive  tone,  then  in  a 
crescendo  of  scorn — '  whereas  you  '11  always  be  a  fool.' 

Moreover  as  he  slouched  down  the  lobby,  he  was  heard  to 
say  : — 

'  If  I  do  get  a  headache,  I  've  a  head  to  have  it  in,  not  a 
frame  on  which  to  hang  an  eyeglass.' 

That  is  a  political  amenity  on  which  I  will  not  dwell. 

Very  little  money-lending  is  to  be  heard  of  in  the  south  of 
Ireland,  and  in  all  my  experience  I  only  remember  one  case 
in  Kerry.  Tenants  in  Ireland,  however,  have  great  horror  of 
breaking  bulk,  and  many  of  them  will  do  a  bill  for  a  neighbour 
when  they  have  deposits  in  the  bank  for  themselves.  As  it  is 
a  point  of  honour  never  to  refuse  a  friend  in  this  respect,  you 
can  easily  imagine  the  amount  of  '  paper '  which  is  fluttering. 


DRINK  113 

Even  when  a  farmer  has  a  tidy  sum  of  money  on  deposit 
with  the  bank  at  one  per  cent.,  if  he  wants  to  employ  a  sum 
for  a  short  time,  say  for  the  purchase  of  cattle,  he  prefers  to 
raise  the  money  on  a  bill  at  six  per  cent. 

That  is  to  say,  the  bank  is  lending  him  his  own  money  at 
five  per  cent. — a  truly  Hibernian  trait,  which  it  would  be 
difficult  to  beat  anywhere. 

A  bill  for  drink  is  not  recoverable,  but  occasionally  an 
insidious  publican  will  take  a  man's  I.O.U.  and  sue  on  that. 

One  applied  to  me  to  help  him  to  get  the  money  from  a 
tenant. 

*  You  must  show  me  the  account,'  said  I. 

As  1  suspected,  there  was  whisky  in  it,  and  I  declined  on 
the  spot. 

All  drink  in  Ireland  is  on  cash  down  terms  only. 

If  they  gave  tick,  they  would  never  recover  the  money, 
and  if  every  Irishman  is  a  knowing  scoundrel,  the  publican  is 
a  trifle  more  knowledgable  than  the  customer,  whose  brains 
are  besodden. 

A  man,  who  had  been  a  servant  of  mine,  started  a  public 
near  Tralee,  and  thinking  he  would  get  customers  from  the 
other  whisky  stores,  he  gave  tick.  His  popularity  lasted  just 
as  long  as  the  tick  did,  and  a  week  later  he  was  broke.  I  do 
not  say  so  much  about  Tralee  being  able  to  support  one 
hundred  and  sixty  liquor  shops,  because  there  is  a  little  shipping, 
but  how  Cahirciveen  can  enable  fifty  publicans  to  thrive  is  a 
melancholy  mystery  to  me. 

I  was  animadverting  once,  at  Dingle,  on  the  topic,  when 
one  of  my  labourers  remarked  : — 

*  It 's  the  gentry  does  the  drinking.' 

'  Now  that 's  very  curious,'  said  I,  *  for  as  there  are  only 
two  of  us,  and  as  I  never  touch  spirits,  the  other  must  have 

H 


114  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

such  a  thirst  that  he  'd  consume  the  bay  if  only  it  were  made 
of  whisky.' 

In  these  democratic  days,  it  is  as  well  to  resist  any  undue 
aspersion  on  the  upper  classes. 

To  pass  any  aspersion  on  the  bibulous  propensities  of  a 
tenant  of  mine  named  Flaherty  would  be  impossible.  When 
he  was  buying  his  farm,  I  told  him  the  Government  ought  to 
take  him  on  very  easy  terms,  when  they  became  his  landlords. 

'  And  for  why  ? '  he  asked. 

'  Because,'  I  replied,  '  the  duty  you  pay  on  the  whisky  you 
drink  is  more  than  twenty  times  your  annual  rent.' 

I  had,  however,  one  personal  illustration  of  the  drinking 
propensity  in  Scotland,  which  I  think  is  worth  preserving. 
It  is  some  years  now  since  I  went  to  see  a  certain  farmer  who, 
his  wife  told  me,  on  noticing  my  approach,  was  compelled 
to  go  upstairs  to  cool  his  head  as  it  was  after  dinner.  She 
said  this  much  in  the  same  casual  tone,  as  I  should  mention 
that  my  wife  had  gone  up  early  to  dress  for  that  meal. 

Next,  I  heard  heavy  splashing  of  water,  and  then  a  crash 
which  portended  that  the  farmer  had  fallen  over  the  washstand, 
making  a  fearful  clatter. 

In  rushed  the  drab  of  a  servant  maid,  perfectly  indifferent 
to  my  presence,  shrieking  : — 

'  O  missus,  come  up,  come  up,  the  maister  is  just  miracu- 
lous among  the  chaney  ! ' 


CHAPTER   XII 

PRIESTS 

I  HAVE  been  asked,  since  my  friends  became  aware  that  I  am 
perpetrating  my  reminiscences,  whether  I  was  going  to  write 
anything  supplemental  to  Mr.  MacCarthy's  Priests  and  People^ 
and  Five  Tears  in  Ireland. 

My  reply  was  : — 

'  Certainly  not.' 

To  begin  with,  I  have  many  friends  among  Roman 
Catholics,  and  plenty  of  cheery  acquaintances  among  the 
priests.  Secondly,  the  state  of  feud  and  hostility  on  which 
Mr.  MacCarthy  dilates  is  more  likely  to  be  found  in  Ulster  and 
Leinster  than  in  Kerry,  where  the  Roman  Catholics  form 
more  than  nine-tenths  of  the  population. 

On  one  occasion,  when  a  distinguished  Englishman  was 
staying  at  Killarney  House,  I  told  him  that  he  should  go  to 
the  north  to  see  the  strangest  sight  in  the  world — two  races 
hating  one  another  for  the  love  of  God. 

It  is  not  my  business  to  estimate  what  would  happen  in 
Kerry  if  a  few  thousand  rabid  Orangemen  were  plumped  down 
among  the  present  inhabitants  ;  but  according  to  existing 
circumstances  creeds  are  not  torn  to  tatters  nor  religion  dis- 
figured by  strife  and  slander. 

All  the  same,  I  am  bound  to  say  that  the  Roman  Catholic 
priests,  when  I  was  young,  were  much  superior  to  those 
>of  to-day.     They  were  drawn   from  a  better  class,  because, 

115 


ii6  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

having  to  be  educated  at  Rome,  or,  at  least,  as  far  away  as 
St.  Omer,  entailed  some  considerable  outlay  by  their  relatives. 
Moreover,  they  brought  back  from  their  continental  semin- 
aries broader  ideas  than  can  be  acquired  in  purely  Irish 
colleges.  Their  interest  had  been  stimulated  at  the  most 
impressionable  age  in  much  of  which  the  farmers  and  labourers 
had  na  conception.  Therefore  the  priest  could  address  his 
flock  with  authority,  and  was  invariably  looked  up  to  as  well 
as  obeyed. 

The  parish  priest  at  Blarney  erected  a  tower  in  commemora- 
tion of  the  battle  of  Waterloo,  and  a  public  house  in  the  vicinity 
bears  the  name  to  this  day. 

What  parish  priest  would  raise  a  memorial  to  any  English 
victory  in  the  twentieth  century  ? 

The  greatest  curse  to  the  Irish  nation  has  been  May- 
nooth,  because  it  has  fostered  the  ordination  of  peasants^ 
sons.  These  are  uneducated  men  who  have  never  been  out 
of  Ireland,  whose  sympathies  are  wholly  with  the  class  from 
which  they  have  sprung,  and  who  are  given  no  training  cal- 
culated to  afford  them  a  broader  view  than  that  of  the  narrowest 
class  prejudice. 

As  for  the  much  discussed  Irish  university,  I  do  not  myself 
believe  it  will  be  founded. 

Should  even  an  English  Government  be  blind  enough  to 
allow  it,  an  Irish  university  could  only  become  a  hot-bed  of 
treason,  and  practically  all  educated  members  of  the  Roman 
Catholic  community  would  avoid  sending  their  sons  to  such  a 
seminary  of  sedition,  where  the  influence  would  be  insidiously 
directed  to  make  the  undergraduates  even  more  hostile  to 
England  than  they  already  are  by  inherited  instincts  and  by  all 
they  have  been  told  in  their  own  homes. 

On  the  very  day  this  page  is  written,  I  have  mentioned  the 


PRIESTS  1 1.7 

question  of  an  Irish  university  to  two  Protestants  in  the 
Carlton,  both  Members  of  Parliament,  and  both  approved  of 
the  idea  in  a  languid  way.  I  have  also  mooted  the  topic 
this  afternoon  to  two  leading  Roman  Catholics,  and  both 
vehemently  disapproved,  alleging  that  it  will  work  endless 
mischief. 

As  far  back  as  1872  Dr.  Macaulay  wrote : — 

*  The  Irish  university  question  has  been  put  off  from  year 
to  year,  and  at  length  presses  for  settlement.' 

In  the  best  interests  of  Ireland,  may  the  same  thing  be 
written  thirty  years  hence  ! 

If  the  Roman  Catholics  of  England  send  their  sons  to 
Oxford  and  Cambridge,  why  should  not  more  Irish  Roman 
Catholics  send  theirs  to  Trinity  College,  Dublin  .?  Only  a  very 
few  do,  although  the  education  is  said  to  be  quite  as  good  as 
at  either  of  the  -great  English  Universities.  A  far  tighter 
hold  is  kept,  however,  on  the  Roman  Catholic  laity  in  Ireland 
than  in  England.  It  always  surprises  English  people  to  learn 
that,  in  Ireland,  Roman  Catholics  are  not  allowed  to  enter 
Protestant  churches  to  attend  either  funerals  or  weddings. 
Nor  do  I  think  there  is  much  probability  of  these  restrictions 
being  removed. 

Of  course,  in  the  years  of  outrage  and  terror  in  Ireland, 
many  of  the  priests  from  the  altar  denounced  loyal  members 
of  the  congregation,  or  incited  their  hearers  to  deeds  of 
wickedness  by  their  inflammatory  sermons.  These  facts  are 
among  the  blackest  in  the  history  of  any  creed,  and  I  do  not 
hesitate  to  class  the  work  of  some  of  the  priests  who  disgraced 
their  Church  with  the  worst  perpetrations  of  the  Spanish 
Inquisition. 

Fortunately  all  priests  were  not,  and  are  not,  after  this 
style.     I   have   known   many   good   and  worthy   men   among 


ii8   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

them,  as  well  as  capital  fellows,  fond  of  a  joke.  Moreover, 
the  Roman  Catholic  Church  did  not  always  take  the  side  of 
the  Land  League. 

For  example,  the  bishops  and  parish  priests  laboured 
assiduously  to  get  Lord  Granard  his  rents  from  his  estates 
in  Longford. 

Why.? 

Because  Maynooth  held  a  great  mortgage  on  the  property. 

In  the  famous  De  Freyne  case,  the  parish  priest  energeti- 
cally assisted  the  landlord  in  every  way  in  his  power,  because 
the  property  was  heavily  mortgaged  with  Roman  Catholic 
charges. 

These  are  two  facts  that  occur  to  me  on  the  spur  of  the 
moment,  and  probably  other  people  could  supply  similar 
instances. 

As  for  the  Episcopacy,  it  was  the  violence  of  Dr.  Walsh, 
the  Archbishop  of  Dublin,  which  prevented  him  from  obtain- 
ing the  coveted  cardinal's  hat.  This  was  given  to  Dr.  Logue, 
the  Archbishop  of  Armagh  and  Primate  of  Ireland,  a  witty, 
capable,  clever  man,  who  had  such  an  inveterate  habit  of 
taking  snuff  that  he  did  so  even  when  conversing  with  Queen 
Victoria. 

*  It  prevents  me  from  sniffing  out  heresy,'  he  explained, 
with  a  twinkle,  *  and  so  gives  me  an  excuse  for  shutting  my 
eyes  to  the  different  views  of  my  neighbours.' 

The  Queen  was  much  amused,  but  the  remark  conveyed  a 
true  view  of  Irish  Catholicism. 

The  fact  is,  his  bishop  can  do  very  little  with  a  treasonable 
man  when  once  he  has  been  inducted  a  parish  priest  ;  and  the 
curate  who  obtains  irregular  fees,  of  course,  panders  even  more 
to  the  taste  of  his  congregation.  A  bishop  will  haul  up  a 
tonsured  subordinate  mighty  sharp  for  any  breach  of  ecclesi- 


PRIESTS  119 

astical  duty,  but  when  it  comes  to  politics  and  instigation  to 
crime,  he  finds  it  far  more  difficult  to  keep  a  tight  hand. 

As  a  broad  rule  it  may  be  stated  that  the  bishops  are  well 
selected,  and  are  of  a  much  higher  type  than  the  average  priest. 

Of  the  bishops  of  Killarney,  Moriarty  put  down  Fenianism 
with  no  light  hand,  preaching,  as  I  have  already  shown,  in  the 
most  manly  and  emphatic  style — which  could  have  been 
emulated  with  advantage  in  other  Episcopacies  in  my  country. 
MacCarthy  was  a  bookworm  from  Maynooth,  who  played  the 
deuce  with  the  diocese,  allowing  all  the  priests  to  run  wild, 
and  by  his  laxity  becoming  criminally  responsible  for  much  of 
the  terrible  condition  of  Kerry.  Higgins  was  the  nominee  of 
a  friend  of  Moriarty,  and  he  worked  hard  to  suppress  out- 
rages, by  which  course  he  certainly  did  not  add  to  his  popularity 
among  his  flock.  In  his  upright  and  courageous  conduct  he 
has  been  worthily  emulated  by  his  successor,  Coffey,  whose 
demise  occurred  only  in  the  present  year, 

Kerry  possesses  one  bishop,  fifty-one  parish  priests  and 
administrators,  sixty-nine  curates,  and  eleven  priests  occupied 
in  tuition. 

There  are  six  religious  houses  for  males,  and  seventeen 
convents,  representing  about  five  hundred  inhabitants,  as  well 
as  three  hundred  students,  which,  with  the  occupants  of 
subsidiary  sacerdotal  establishments,  is  estimated  to  make  up 
1265  persons. 

In  1 87 1,  when  the  population  of  Kerry  was  196,586,  there 
were  337  priests  and  nuns.  In  1901,  when  the  population 
had  become  reduced  to  165,726,  the  priests  and  nuns  had 
increased  to  546. 

And  these  statistics  bring  me  to  a  salient  point  : — 

The  one  reality  above  all  others  in  Irish  life  is  the  grip  of 
the  Church. 


I20   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

In  the  last  book  which  I  have  received  from  the  library 
— Paddy-Risky^  by  Mr.  Andrew  Merry — one  of  the  stories  is 
that  of  a  poor  widow  beggaring  herself  in  order  to  provide  the 
parish  chapel  with  a  bell,  and  that  is  the  kind  of  thing  you 
hear  of  everywhere. 

The  Roman  Catholic  Church  presides  over  every  function 
in  the  life  of  each  member  of  its  community,  and  the  priest 
charges  heavily  for  administering  the  rites. 

At  a  wedding  he  does  not  take  a  prescribed  fee,  but 
makes  a  bargain,  usually  with  the  family  of  the  bride.  I 
have  known  as  much  as  twenty-five  pounds  paid  to  a  priest  at 
a  small  farmer's  marriage ;  and  the  sum  obtained  is  very  often 
out  of  all  proportion  to  the  dowry  of  the  bride,  or  even  to 
the  funds  of  the  happy  pair. 

An  example  may  be  cited — the  case  of  a  labourer  in  my 
own  employ,  who  received  forty  pounds  as  his  wife's  fortune, 
and  had  to  pay  eight  to  the  parish  priest. 

It  is  the  same  thing  with  funerals,  over  which  a  ridiculous 
amount  is  still  spent,  although  the  wake  is  falling  into  dis- 
repute under  the  ban  of  the  Church,  and  women  are  now 
rarely  hired  to  '  keen.'  There  is  a  craze  to  have  a  number  of 
priests  attending  the  service,  and  a  good  many  of  them  do  go, 
very  well  pleased,  as  to  a  picnic. 

In  parishes  where  the  poverty  is  something  appalling  the 
members  of  the  congregation  not  only  contribute  Peter's 
Pence,  but  you  cannot  go  into  the  chapel  without  seeing  some 
tiny  candles  lighted  before  the  altar  of  Mary,  which  must 
literally  represent  the  scriptural  mites  of  the  widow  and 
orphan. 

Before  I  relapse  into  a  few  stories,  let  me  say  something 
about  the  Protestant  clergy. 

They  are   nearly  always  recruited  from  the  ranks  of  the 


PRIESTS  121 

smaller  Irish  gentry,  and  whilst,  perhaps,  richer  in  proportion 
than  many  of  the  curates  and  incumbents  in  England,  there 
are  no  '  fat '  livings,  and  all  are  distinctly  poorer  since  the 
Disestablishment. 

The  average  in  Kerry,  and  over  most  of  the  south  of 
Ireland,  is  a  stipend  of  two  hundred  pounds  a  year,  which 
involves  reading  services  in  two  churches  each  Sunday,  and 
therefore  puts  the  clergyman  to  the  expense  of  keeping  a 
horse  and  trap. 

About  1820  the  district  around  Castleisland  was  divided 
into  three  parishes — Castleisland,  Ballincushlane,  and  Killeen- 
tierna — the  joint  revenues  of  which  were  eighteen  hundred 
a  year.  These  were  vested  in  the  Lord  Bandon  of  the  time, 
who  lived  in  the  lovely  cottage  on  the  upper  Lake  of 
Killarney. 

He  allowed  a  curate  fifty  pounds  a  year  to  do  the  joint 
duties,  and  I  hardly  think  the  man  was  worth  the  money. 
He  subsequently  obtained  a  Government  living  and  was  in 
the  habit  of  asking  his  congregation,  as  they  went  into  church, 
whether  they  wanted  a  sermon  or  not.  The  general  concensus 
of  opinion  was  a  polite  negative — to  the  relief  of  all  parties. 

The  method  of  electing  a  vicar  in  Ireland  since  the 
Disestablishment  is  both  sensible  and  practical. 

Three  parish  nominators,  one  lay  diocesan  nominator,  two 
clerical  diocesan  nominators,  and  the  bishop,  between  them, 
choose  the  new  incumbent.  By  the  constitution  of  this  Court 
of  Election,  it  is  certain  that  no  one  will  be  appointed  to  whom 
the  parish  objects,  whilst  if  the  parish  desires  the  nomination 
of  an  incompetent  man,  that  is  checked  by  the  diocesan  voters 
in  conjunction  with  the  bishop. 

In  fact  it  is  an  admirable  system,  far  better  than  the 
patronage  plan  still  rampant  in  England. 


122  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

The  Irish  bishops  are  also  chosen  by  nominators  drawn 
from  the  clergy  and  laity  of  the  diocese,  provided  a  two-thirds 
majority  be  obtained  for  any  one  candidate.  If  not,  the 
Irish  bench  of  bishops  jointly  selects  the  new  wearer  of 
lawn  sleeves. 

This,  again,  works  with  perfect  smoothness  and  never 
arouses  the  ill-feeling  aroused  by  the  selections  nominally 
made  by  the  Prime  Minister.  To-day  the  Foundations  of 
Belief  may  not  be  an  essay  which  causes  confidence  in  the 
ability  of  the  author  to  pick  the  best  bishops,  and  all  the 
much-vaunted  religious  convictions  of  Mr.  Gladstone  did 
not  make  his  nominations  to  the  Episcopacy  particularly 
successful.  It  is  now  no  secret  that  Lord  Cairns  used  to 
choose  bishops  for  Disraeli  and  that  Lord  Shaftesbury  often 
was  consulted  by  Prime  Ministers  who  knew  more  about 
sport  than  clericalism. 

So  far  as  I  can  recollect,  among  all  the  Irish  clergy  I  have 
met  not  one  was  an  Englishman,  though  there  are  plenty  of 
Irish  in  the  English  Established  Church. 

All  the  Disestablished  Church  of  Ireland  is  exceedingly 
anti-ritualistic. 

'  I  do  not  want  Mock- Turtle,  when  I  am  so  near  real 
Turtle,'  said  Sir  George  Shiel,  when  asked  to  visit  St.  Alban's, 
Holborn,  one  of  the  Ritualistic  temples — an  observation  which 
represents  the  feeling  animating  clergy  and  laity  in  Ireland, 
though  they  are  none  the  better  pleased  that  out  of  the  funds 
of  the  Disestablishment,  Maynooth  should  have  received  a 
capitalised  sum  equal  to  the  previous  annual  grant  from 
Government. 

And  now  for  just  a  few  clerical  tales. 

A  man  was  dying  and  the  priest  was  with  him. 

'  Ah,   Father   Philip,'   said   the    poor   fellow,    *  I   am   sure 


PRIESTS  123 

the  likes  of  you  would  never  be  deceiving  a  poor  man  and 
him  on  his  deathbed.     Tell  me  straight,  is  my  soul  all  right  ? ' 

*  It  is,  my  son,  and  in  a  very  short  time  you  '11  be  in  the 
company  of  the  Blessed  Saints.' 

'In  that  case,  Father,  I'll  tell  the  devil  he  may  just  kiss 
my  toe  and  bad  luck  to  him  for  all  the  trouble  I  have  had  to 
get  out  of  his  clutches,'  and  the  priest  noticed  his  last  sigh  was 
one  of  complete  satisfaction — no  doubt  anticipatory. 

Purgatory  forms  the  foundation  of  many  stories. 

A  certain  very  poor  widow  was  paying  the  priest  money 
for  the  soul  of  her  son,  who  was  killed  in  a  faction  fight, 

'  And  it 's  more  masses  you  must  have  Mrs.  Murphy,  for 
Paddy  has  only  got  his  red  hair  out  of  purgatory.' 

Later,  when  she  was  asked  for  further  contributions : — 

'  It 's  his  mouth  which  is  out  now,  and  he  sends  his  mother 
on  earth  messages  to  have  prayers  said  to  get  him  to  heaven.' 

A  third  time  did  Widow  Murphy  give  the  priest  what  she 
could  not  in  the  least  afford. 

Yet  again  he  reported  progress. 

'  Now  you  must  make  a  great  effort,  for  his  head  and 
shoulders  are  out  of  purgatory.' 

'  Then  it 's  devil  another  penny  of  mine  will  go  for  masses, 
for  if  my  Pat  has  his  head  and  shoulders  out,  I  can  safely 
reckon  he  '11  soon  wriggle  himself  away  entirely,  God  bless 
the  poor  darling.' 

Another  purgatory  tale,  this  time  concerning  Father  Batt. 

A  fellow-priest  came  to  see  him,  and  over  a  friendly 
glass  : — 

'  And  what 's  the  news  ? '  asked  Father  Batt. 

'  None  that  I  know  on  earth,  but  I  do  hear  tell  that  the 
floor  of  purgatory  has  given  way  and  all  the  inhabitants  have 
fallen  into  hell.' 


124  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

*  Oh,  the  poor  Protestants,  that  will  be  all  crushed  by  the 
weight  atop  of  them,'  was  Father  Batt's  rejoinder. 

Few  priests  in  Kerry  have  been  better  known  or  more 
beloved  than  he,  almost  the  last  of  the  old-fashioned  school, 
and  he  was  always  warm  friends  with  his  Protestant  colleague 
in  Milltown,  where  he  resided. 

Father  Batt  invariably  took  a  few  tumblers  of  hot  whisky 
punch  after  dinner,  and  having  got  ill  was  advised  by  the 
doctor  to  give  it  up  and  take  to  claret. 

When  the  bishop  met  him  some  time  later,  he  said  : — 

'  Well,  Father  Batt,  I  am  afraid  you  do  not  like  claret  so 
well  as  the  whisky.' 

'It's  this  way,  my  lord,'  he  replied.  'I  don't  object 
to  the  taste  so  much  as  I  thought  I  should,  but  I  find  it 
very  tedious.' 

It  is  with  some  diffidence  that  I  venture  upon  a  convent 
story.  To  begin  with,  I  am  a  Protestant,  and  secondly,  in 
relation  to  one  of  these  ladies'  clubs  under  sacerdotal  patronage 
I  feel  like  Paul  Pry,  always  apologetic  when  putting  in  an 
appearance. 

Still,  the  tale  is  quite  innocent  and  is  absolutely  true. 

The  convent  is  in  Kerry  and  up  to  recently  the  order  had 
been  an  enclosed  one.  But  a  papal  edict  arrived  one  day, 
bidding  the  nuns  go  out  to  teach,  and  to  collect,  as  well  as  to 
relieve,  the  suffering  in  their  own  homes. 

The  Mother  Superior  was  exceedingly  wroth. 

'  What  ! '  quoth  she.  '  Does  the  Holy  Father  want  to  be 
interfering  with  me  after  I  have  been  within  these  walls  for 
the  last  eight-and-twenty  years .?  I  am  not  going  to  begin 
tramping  the  roads  at  my  time  of  life,  not  for  the  Holy  Father 
himself,  no,  nor  all  the  Cardinals  too.  A  pretty  state  of  things 
indeed.     Why,  he  '11  be  telling  me  to  ride  a  bicycle  next  ! ' 


PRIESTS  125 

The  county  of  Cork  was  at  one  time  so  notorious  for 
cattle-stealing  that  a  Roman  Catholic  bishop  went  down 
specially  to  admonish  them. 

When  telling  one  parish  priest  to  be  firm  with  his  con- 
gregation on  the  subject,  the  bishop  observed  : — 

'  Nothing  is  more  clearly  laid  down  in  the  Bible  than  that 
if  a  man  has  possession  of  another  man's  property  he  can  never 
enter  the  kingdom  of  heaven.' 

'  The  Saints  preserve  us,'  exclaimed  the  priest ;  *  there  '11 
be  plenty  of  empty  houses  there.' 

It  is  not  uncommon  for  a  priest  to  get  a  bit  of  truth  by 
accident  or  by  cunning  from  one  of  his  flock. 

The  parish  priest  was  congratulating  a  man  who  had 
married  three  wives  upon  getting  a  bit  of  money  with  each, 
and  received  this  answer  : — 

'  Well,  your  reverence,  I  did  not  do  badly  at  all,  but 
between  the  weddings  and  the  funerals,  your  reverence  took 
care  it  was  not  all  clear  profit.' 

There  is  plenty  of  hard  barter  about  the  terms  of  these 
ceremonies,  and  on  one  occasion  at  Brosna,  when  the  curate 
stood  out  for  three  pounds  as  his  fee  for  performing  the 
marriage  service,  the  would-be  bridegroom  held  out  a  thirty 
shilling  note,  saying  : — 

'  Marry  yourself  to  this,  your  reverence,  and  we  '11  be 
happy  with  your  blessing.' 

As  the  persuasive  eloquence  of  another  man  could  not 
abate  the  price  which  his  priest  demanded  for  a  funeral,  he 
blurted  out  : — 

'  Why,  the  blessed  corpse  in  purgatory  would  shiver  at 
the  thought  of  costing  so  much  to  put  away,  and  we  but  poor 
folk,  with  the  pig  that  contrary  we  don't  know  whether  the 
litter  will  survive.' 


126  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Here  is  a  fish  story  connected  with  a  member  of  my  own 
family,  Miss  Clarissa  Hussey,  who  was  my  aunt,  and  also  a 
pious  Roman  Catholic.  She  used  to  hospitably  entertain  her 
confessor  Father  Tom,  a  priest  with  a  keen  appreciation  of 
the  good  things  of  the  table.  Among  his  parishioners  it  was 
known  that  he  indicated  the  value  he  put  on  the  coming  fare 
by  the  length  of  his  preliminary  grace. 

On  a  certain  Friday  in  Lent  he  dined  with  her,  and  on 
a  huge  dish  being  put  down  in  front  of  his  hostess,  he  expected 
a  fine  salmon,  and  shutting  his  eyes  proceeded  to  pronounce 
a  benediction  the  length  of  which  greatly  gratified  my  aunt. 
On  the  cover  being  removed,  however,  his  face  fell,  and  in 
severe  tones  he  rebuked  her : — 

*  Was  it  for  hake,  ma'am,  that  I  offered  up  the  full 
grace  ?  ' 

Nor  could  he  be  appeased  all  through  the  meal. 
That  leads  me  to  relate  the  funeral  sermon  delivered  by  a 
clergyman  on  a  lady  who  had  died  suddenly  at  her  morning 
meal : — 

'  You  all,  dear  brethren,  well  know  the  loss  we  have 
sustained  in  our  departed  sister.  She  was  ever  alert  and 
kindly,  ever  bountiful  though  without  extravagance.  To  the 
last  she  preserved  her  characteristics.  On  the  fatal  morning 
of  her  removal  from  among  us,  she  rose  as  usual  and  came 
to  the  family  breakfast-table.  With  no  premonition  of  what 
was  to  come  she  took  her  egg-spoon  and  cracked  her  egg, 
an  egg  laid  by  one  of  her  own  hens.  In  another  moment 
failure  of  the  heart  transferred  her  to  a  higher  sphere.  She 
began  that  egg  on  earth,  she  finished  it  in  heaven.' 


CHAPTER    XIII 

CONSTABULARY    AND    DISPENSARY    DOCTORS 

An  Englishman  once  asked  me,  if  I  could  suggest  any  way 
by  which  all  Ireland  could  be  made  loyal.  I  inquired  if  he 
thought  the  Irish  constabulary  a  loyal  body. 

*  Most  decidedly,'  said  he,  without  hesitation. 

'  Then,'  I  replied,  '  if  you  will  pay  every  Irishman  seventy 
pounds  a  year  for  doing  nothing,  but  look  after  other  people's 
affairs — a  thing  by  nature  congenial  to  him  as  it  is — you'll 
have  the  most  loyal  race  on  earth.' 

That  Englishman  went  away  thoughtful,  but  I  had  shown 
him  the  solution  of  one  Irish  problem  which  may  be  stated 
thus  : — 

"  Why  do  one  half  of  the  sons  of  farmers  in  Ireland,  who 
have  been  or  are  members  of  the  Irish  constabulary,  represent 
a  body  of  men  unequalled  for  their  respectability,  loyalty,  and 
courage,  while  a  large  proportion  of  the  other,  at  least  in  the 
eighties,  made  up  the  bulk  of  the  ignoble  army  of  moonlighters, 
cattle  maimers,  and  cowardly  assassins  crouching  behind  stone 
walls  to  shoot  at  an  unsuspecting  victim  in  the  opening  ? 

The  answer  is  £  s.  d.^  not  an  agreeable  one,  but  truth  is 
not  always  composed  of  sweetstuff. 

The  constabulary  are  recruited  from  the  sons  of  peasants 
and  farmers.  They  are  drilled,  disciplined,  well  fed,  well 
clothed,  well  paid,  and  show  themselves  well  conducted. 
During   all  the   bad  times,  there  was  not  a  single  case  of  a 

127 


128  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

disaffected  man,  though  every  sort  of  inducement  must  have 
been  brought  to  bear  on  them.  The  prevailing  characteristic 
of  all  ranks  has  been  the  high  sense  of  duty,  so  that  they 
composed  the  most  mobile  and  the  most  effective  corps  in 
Europe. 

As  detectives,  they  have,  however,  proved  quite  ineffective, 
because  the  peasant  has  everywhere  been  too  shrewd  for  them  ; 
'  yet  the  relative  position  of  the  police  to  the  people,  and 
the  intimate  connection  with  America,  marked  it  out  as  a  force 
peculiarly  adapted  to  the  prevention  and  detection  of  crime 
committed  in  Ireland,  but  often  inspired  from  America.'  So 
wrote  one  of  the  most  experienced  resident  magistrates,  Mr. 
Clifford  Lloyd,  afterwards  Minister  of  the  Interior  in  Egypt, 
and  subsequently  Lieutenant  Governor  of  the  Mauritius  and 
Consul  at  Erzeroum,  where  he  died  at  the  age  of  forty-seven. 

The  constabulary  are  enlisted  without  any  consideration 
of  creed,  but  when  Sir  Duncan  MacGregor  was  at  the  head  of 
the  force  he  arranged  that  of  the  five  men  in  every  police 
barrack,  two  should  be  Protestant,  and  three  Roman  Catholic, 
or  vice  versa.  This  check  has  subsequently  been  swept  away, 
by  no  means  to  the  advantage  of  the  service. 

Very  recently  the  Inspector  General,  and  the  Assistant 
Inspector  General  retired,  and  their  places  were  filled  by  an 
Englishman  and  an  Irishman,  neither  of  whom  had  been  in  the 
force,  which  gave  rise  to  great  and  well-founded  dissatisfac- 
tion. One  of  the  pair  is  a  warm  friend  of  my  own,  but  that 
is  no  reason  why  I  should  approve  of  the  appointment. 

While  the  bulk  of  the  officers  are  Irish  gentlemen,  educated 
in  Ireland,  Englishmen  are  also  to  be  found  among  them. 
Officers  enter  by  nomination  after  passing  an  examination 
designed  to  show  that  they  are  not  '  crammed,'  but  the  per- 
versity of  the  examiners  has    always   thwarted  this  excellent 


CONSTABULARY  AND  DISPENSARY  DOCTORS    129 

intention.  That  is  like  the  admirable  purpose  of  Cabinet 
Ministers,  bent  on  reforming  their  different  departments,  but 
dexterously  *  blocked  '  by  the  permanent  officials. 

Before  the  reduction  commenced  by  Mr.  Wyndham,  the 
Constabulary  numbered  10,679,  ^^^  ^^^^  ;C^'39'^'9^7-  ^^ 
my  opinion  it  will  be  found  necessary  in  the  future,  not  only 
to  keep  the  force  up  to  its  full  strength,  but  to  materially 
increase  its  number  so  soon  as  the  Government  becomes  the 
sole  landlord  in  Ireland,  especially  now  that  they  are  going  to 
have  Volunteers  in  the  country. 

The  existence  of  this  force  merely  means  that  landlords 
will  be  shot  at  half  price  ;  so,  for  the  sake  of  their  own  skins, 
the  latter  had  better  get  clear  of  the  country  before  the 
recruits  have  had  much  musketry  instruction.  The  badness 
of  the  shooting  saved  many  a  landlord  in  the  eighties,  and  if 
that  is  remedied,  why  they  will  be  popped  as  easily  as  my 
grandson  knocks  over  rabbits. 

There  is  a  story  of  an  English  tourist  seeking  for  informa- 
tion about  the  distressful  country,  he  being  at  Tallaght  near 
Dublin. 

He  asked  his  carman  whether  there  were  many  Fenians 
about. 

'  A  terrible  lot,  your  honour,'  replied  the  fellow. 

'  I  suppose  a  thousand  ? '  the  tourist  suggested,  somewhat 
apprehensively. 

'  That  is  so,  and  twenty  thousand  more,'  answered  the 
carman  without  hesitation. 

'  Are  they  armed  ? '  was  the  next  question. 

'  They  are  that,  and  finely  into  the  bargain.' 

'  And  are  they  prepared  to  come  out  ^ '  the  tourist  being 
much  perturbed,  and  thinking  it  would  be  his  duty  to  write 
to  the  Times. 


I30  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

'  Prepared  to  come  out  in  the  morning,  your  honour.' 

'  And  why  don't  they  do  so  ? '  with  English  common  sense. 

'  Begorra,  because  maybe  if  they  did,  the  constabulary 
would  put  them  in  jail.' 

So  the  constabulary  have  some  value  after  all,  in  spite  of 
the  sneers  of  Home  Rule  members  in  the  House  of  Commons. 

Half  a  dozen  Kerry  priests  screeched  with  laughter  when 
I  told  them  that  story  in  the  train,  having  met  them  on  a 
journey  to  Farranfore. 

Here  is  another  I  also  gave  them  on  that  occasion. 

A  couple  of  policemen  were  discussing  the  state  of  Ireland 
once  upon  a  time. 

Says  Dan  to  Mick  : — 

'  Sure  we  '11  niver  get  peace  and  quiet  in  the  blessed 
country  until  we  fetch  Oliver  Cromwell  up  from  hell  to 
settle  the  unruly.' 

Replies  Mick  to  Dan  : — 

'  Have  done,  you  fool,  isn't  he  a  deal  quieter  where  he  is  ? ' 

Judge  Keagh  thought  worse  of  his  fellow  countrymen  than 
do  other  men  with  less  than  his  great  experience,  and  although 
a  Roman  Catholic,  he  had  to  be  escorted  by  two  constables 
wherever  he  went. 

He  was  told  that  he  ought  to  be  guarded  by  four  police- 
men, because  the  two  might  be  attacked. 

But  he  knew  the  man  that  said  it  wanted  to  make  the 
protection  more  conspicuous,  so  he  replied  : — 

'  Sir,  I  have  the  most  implicit  confidence  in  the  invincible 
cowardice  of  my  fellow  countrymen.' 

That  recalls  an  observation  of  my  own. 

On  one  occasion,  a  telegram  was  sent  from  the  Chief 
Inspector  of  Constabulary  in  Kerry  to  the  Scotland  Yard 
authorities  to  say  there  was  to  be  an  attempt  to  murder  me 


CONSTABULARY  AND  DISPENSARY  DOCTORS    131 

in  London,  and  in  consequence  a  gentleman  from  the  depart- 
ment for  providing  traffic  directors  in  metropolitan  streets 
called  at  my  house  in  Elvaston  Place,  to  inquire  what  police 
protection  I  wanted. 

'  None,'  said  I,  '  for  if  a  man  shoots  me  in  London  he  '11 
be  hung,  and  every  Irish  scoundrel  is  careful  of  his  own 
neck.  It 's  altogether  another  matter  in  Ireland,  where  Mr. 
Gladstone  has  carefully  provided  that  he  shall  be  tried  by  a 
jury,  the  majority  of  which  are  certain  to  be  land  leaguers.' 

I  brought  out  the  same  idea  on  a  more  important  occasion. 

Once,  in  Mr.  Froude's  house.  Professor  Max  Miiller — 
who  was  a  great  admirer  of  Mr.  Gladstone — remarked  that 
after  all  I  had  not  much  reason  to  complain,  because  I  had 
had  plenty  of  police  protection  in  Ireland. 

'  I  should  prefer  equal  laws,'  said  I. 

'  What  inequality  of  law  have  you  to  find  fault  with  ^ ' 
he  asked. 

'  Well,'  I  replied,  '  if  a  land  leaguer  shoots  me  in  Ireland, 
he  will  be  tried  by  a  jury  of  land  leaguers.  If  I  shoot  one 
of  them,  I  would  require  that  I  be  tried  by  a  jury  of  landlords, 
and  if  that  be  granted  I  '11  clear  the  road  for  myself  of  all 
suspicious  characters,  and  ask  for  no  more  police  protection 
than  you  require  at  Oxford. 

He  subsided  at  that,  and  Froude  laughed  at  him  so 
heartily,  that  he  had  not  another  word  to  say  on  the  subject 
all  day. 

Did  you  ever  hear  the  rhyme  about  moonlighting  ?  It 
runs  as  follows  : — 

'The  difference  betwixt  moonlight  and  moonshine 
The  people  at  last  understand, 
For  moonlight's  the  law  of  the  League 
And  moonshine  is  the  law  of  the  land.' 


132  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

That  would  have  clinched  my  argument  beyond  all  dispute, 
but  the  expressive  poem  was  not  written  at  that  time. 

Reverting  to  the  topics  of  this  chapter,  it  is  needless  to 
observe  that  there  is  a  bond  of  connection  between  con- 
stabulary and  dispensary  doctors,  for  the  latter  are  needed 
on  many  occasions  to  attend  to  the  wounds  of  those  just 
arrested. 

The  dispensary  doctors  do  not  form  a  satisfactory  feature 
of  Irish  life,  simply  because  the  farmers  elect  individuals  out  of 
friendship. 

A  dispensary  doctor  had  to  be  appointed  at  Farranfore, 
and  I  was  most  anxious  to  get  the  best  man  for  the  position. 
So  I  proposed  that  the  candidates'  papers  should  all  be  sub- 
mitted to  Sir  Dominic  Corragun,  a  Roman  Catholic  physician 
of  high  standing  in  Dublin. 

I  could  not  even  get  a  seconder  to  my  motion,  which 
therefore  fell  stillborn,  and  I  wrote  to  Lord  Kenmare  that  if 
Gull  or  Jenner  had  been  suggested,  neither  of  them  would 
have  obtained  three  votes. 

Virtually  the  appointment  of  the  dispensary  doctor  is 
vested  in  the  dispensary  Committee,  which  is  a  local  body, 
usually  consisting  of  one  or  more  guardians,  and  four  or  five 
specially  elected  ratepayers.  In  the  same  way  are  chosen 
all  the  local  sanitary  authorities,  who  are  of  course  under  the 
District  Council. 

You  remember  that  Punch  called  the  sanitary  inspector 
the  insanitary  spectre,  but  the  beneficent  climate  of  Ireland 
fortunately  averts  all  the  evils  his  authority  would  not  be 
able  to  arrest  if  it  came  to  really  checking  filth. 

I  remember  the  occasion  of  the  election  of  another  dispen- 
sary doctor,  when  I  was  curtly  told  that  only  a  moonlighter 
could  hope  to  be  appointed. 


CONSTABULARY  AND  DISPENSARY  DOCTORS    133 

My  reply  was  : — 

'  I  suppose  it  is  easier  for  him  to  poison  people  when  he 
is  drunk  than  to  shoot  landlords  when  in  an  inebriated 
condition.' 

I  do  know  that  a  dispensary  doctor  not  thirty  miles  from 
Killarney  was  thrown  out  of  his  trap,  because  he  drove  the 
horse  through  his  own  front  door,  when  he  was  under  the 
intoxicated  impression  he  was  entering  his  stable  yard. 

He  broke  his  leg,  and  as  there  was  no  one  to  set  it, 
he  told  his  nephew  to  get  a  pail  of  plaster  of  Paris,  and  he 
himself  would  tell  him  how  to  manage  the  operation. 

First  they  had  a  glass  of  whisky  to  fortify  them  for 
the  ordeal,  and  then  another,  and  after  that  a  third  to  drink 
good  luck  to  the  broken  leg. 

Finally,  when  they  set  about  it,  the  nephew  spilt  the  whole 
pail  of  plaster  of  Paris  over  the  bed  in  which  his  uncle  lay, 
and  then  fell  in  a  drunken  stupor  into  the  mess.  There  they 
both  stayed  all  night  until  they  were  hacked  out  with  a  chisel 
in  the  morning. 

It  is  strange  that  the  Irish,  who  are  brimful  of  shrewd 
sense,  use  no  more  discretion  about  appointing  schoolmasters 
than  dispensary  doctors. 

The  petty  pedagogues,  who  are  the  Baboos  of  Ireland, 
are  drawn  from  the  small-farmer  class.  There  is  great  com- 
petition among  the  incompetent  to  get  lucrative  posts  in 
my  native  land :  they  probably  appreciate  the  Hibernian 
eccentricity  of  giving  important  positions  to  the  men  whose 
claims  in  any  other  country  would  never  obtain  a  moment's 
consideration. 

There  was  a  schoolmaster  near  Castleisland,  who  died  of 
sparing  the  rod  but  not  sparing  the  potation.  His  family 
were  anxious  his  nephew  should  be  appointed. 


134  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

As  he  was  an  utter  ne'er-do-weel,  the  parish  priest  justly 
considered  him  unfit  for  the  situation,  and  brought  from  a 
neighbouring  county  a  schoolmaster  highly  recommended  by 
the  National  Convention. 

They  had  a  quiet  way  of  expressing  their  feelings  in  Kerry 
in  those  days,  and  the  moonlighters  fired  by  night  through 
the  windows  of  every  one  who  sent  their  children  to  the 
nominee  of  the  parish  priest. 

The  District  Inspector  thought  he  had  better  look  into 
the  matter  himself,  for  it  was  stated  they  had  always  fired  high 
with  the  sole  purpose  of  intimidating  the  occupants  of  the 
various  cabins. 

However,  when  this  inspecting  authority  found  a  bullet- 
hole  in  a  window-sill  only  three  feet  from  the  ground,  he 
observed : — 

'  Well,  that  shot  was  meant  to  kill.' 

One  farmer  standing  by  remarked  : — 

'  It  was  not  right  to  fire  into  a  house  where  there  were 
a  lot  of  little  children.' 

'  Begorra,'  cried  another,  in  a  tone  of  virtuous  indignation, 
*  the  careless  fellows  might  have  killed  the  poor  pig  ! ' 

That  was  sworn  before  me. 

Here  is  another  incident,  also  sworn  to  in  my  presence. 

I  must  explain  that  the  first  poor  rate  was  in  1848,  and 
half  was  made  up  by  local  subscription,  while  the  rent  was 
added  by  the  presentment  of  the  county,  and  not  paid  out  of 
the  rates.  It  was  in  those  days  a  common  practice  for 
dispensary  doctors  to  put  down  on  the  list  imaginary  sub- 
scriptions from  friends,  so  as  to  draw  more  from  the  county. 

A  young  fellow,  whose  name  had  thus  been  used,  fired  into 
a  Protestant  doctor's  house,  and  threatened  to  murder  every- 
body unless  he  was  given  some  money. 


CONSTABULARY  AND  DISPENSARY  DOCTORS  135 

He  obtained  half  a  crown,  with  which  he  bought  a  pint  of 
whisky  and  a  mutton  pie  ;  but  just  as  he  was  putting  his  teeth 
into  the  crust  of  the  latter,  he  paused  in  horror. 

*  I  was  near  being  lost  for  ever,  body  and  soul,'  says  he, 
'  this  being  Friday,  and  me  so  close  on  tasting  meat.' 

The  woman  in  the  place  where  he  bought  the  provisions  pro- 
posed to  keep  the  mutton  pie  for  him  until  the  following  day. 

He  thanked  her  civilly,  and  went  away,  but  had  the  mis- 
fortune to  mistake  the  police  barracks  for  the  rival  whisky 
store,  and  was  promptly  arrested  for  threatening  with  intent 
to  do  injury. 

The  next  day  he  asked  to  be  allowed  to  eat  his  pie,  which 
is  how  the  story  came  out. 

The  dispensaries  are  often  worked  with  more  attention  to 
the  pocket  of  those  on  the  premises  than  is  compatible  with 
the  principles  of  honesty,  as  recognised  outside  the  legal  and 
medical  professions.  At  one  dispensary  in  Kerry  the  Local 
Government  Board  was  horrified  at  the  consumption  of 
quinine — an  expensive  medicine.  Tndeed,  so  much  dis- 
appeared that,  if  it  had  not  been  for  the  chronic  aversion 
of  any  low-born  Irishman  to  outside  applications  of  liquid, 
it  might  have  been  surmised  that  the  patients  were  taking 
quinine  baths.  The  matter  was  privately  put  into  the  hands 
of  the  police,  who  within  a  week  arrested  the  secretary  getting 
out  of  a  back  window  with  a  big  bottle  of  quinine,  which  he 
meant  to  sell. 

That  man,  for  the  rest  of  his  life,  inveighed  against  the 
petty  and  mischievous  interference  with  private  industry 
tyrannically  waged  by  public  bodies. 

I  should  like  to  claim  for  Kerry  the  honour  of  being  the 
land  where  the  following  hoary  chestnut  originally  was  per- 
petrated, the  exact  locality  being  Castleisland. 


136  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

A  landlord,  who  had  returned  in  a  fit  of  absent-mindedness 
to  his  property  after  a  sojourn  in  England,  was  condoling  with 
a  woman  on  the  death  of  her  husband,  and  asked  : — 

'What  did  he  die  of?' 

'Wishna,  then,  did  he  not  die  a  natural  death,  your 
honour,  for  there  was  no  doctor  attending  him  ?  ' 

A  not  dissimilar  story  is  that  which  concerns  a  Scotch 
laird  who  had  fallen  very  sick,  so  a  specialist  came  from 
Edinburgh  to  assist  the  local  murderer  in  diagnosing  the 
symptoms. 

The  canny  patient  felt  sure  he  would  not  be  told  what 
was  the  matter,  so  he  bade  his  servant  conceal  himself  behind 
the  curtains  in  the  room  where  the  doctors  talked  it  over,  and 
to  repeat  to  him  what  they  said. 

This  is  what  the  faithful  retainer  brought  as  tidings  of 
comfort  to  the  alarmed  invalid  : — 

'  Weel,  sir,  the  two  were  very  gloomy,  one  saying  one 
thing  and  the  other  another  ;  but  after  a  while  they  cheered 
up  and  grew  quite  pleasant  when  they  had  decided  that  they 
would  know  all  about  it  at  the  post-mortem.' 

That  recalls  to  my  mind  Sidney  Smith's  definition  of  a 
doctor  as  an  individual  who  put  drugs  of  which  he  knew  very 
little  into  a  body  of  which  he  knew  considerably  less. 

There  is  a  rare  lot  of  truth  in  some  witticisms. 

For  some  illogical  reason  only  known  to  my  own  brain — 
perhaps  with  the  desire  of  keeping  up  the  fashion  for  incon- 
secutive and  rambling  observations  common  to  all  books  of 
reminiscences  —  the  foregoing  stories  suggest  to  my  mind 
the  excuse  made  to  me  by  a  wary  scoundrel  for  not  paying 
his  rent. 

'  I  had  an  illegant  little  heifer  as  ever  your  honour  cast  an 
eye  over,  and  who  is  a  better  judge  than  yourself,  God  bless 


CONSTABULARY  AND  DISPENSARY  DOCTORS  137 

you  ?  But  the  Lord  was  pleased  to  take  her  to  Himself,  and 
it  would  be  flat  heresy  for  me  not  to  say  He  is  not  as  good 
a  judge  as  your  honour's  self.' 

There  was  an  action  brought  against  a  veterinary  surgeon 
for  killing  a  man's  horse. 

Lord  Morris  knew  something  of  medicine,  as  he  did  of 
most  things,  and  asked  if  the  dose  given  would  not  have  killed 
the  devil  himself. 

The  vet.  drew  himself  up  pompously,  and  said  : — 

'  I  never  had  the  honour  of  attending  that  gentleman.' 

'  That 's  a  pity,  doctor,'  replied  Morris,  '  for  he 's  alive 
still.' 

The  Government  introduced  into  the  House  of  Lords  an 
additional  bill  for  the  complication  and  confiscation  of  landed 
property  in  Ireland. 

Lord  Morris  said  it  reminded  him  of  the  bill  a  veterinary 
surgeon  sent  in  to  a  friend  of  his,  the  last  item  of  which 
ran : — 

'  To  curing  your  grey  mare  till  she  died,  los.  6d.' 

Never  was  the  Irish  question  more  happily  expressed  than 
in  his  famous  reply  to  a  lady  who  asked  him  if  he  could 
account  for  disaffection  in  Ireland  towards  the  English. 

'  What  else  can  you  expect,  ma'am,  when  a  quick-witted 
race  is  governed  by  an  intensely  stupid  one  ^ ' 

Lord  Morris  told  many  stories,  but  for  a  change,  here  is 
one  told  of  him. 

A  Belfast  tourist  was  riding  past  Spiddal,  and  asked  a 
countryman  who  lived  there. 

'  One  Judge  Morris,  your  honour ;  but  he  lives  the  best 
part  of  his  time  in  Dublin.' 

'Oh  yes,'  says  the  other,  'that's  Lord  Chief  Justice 
Morris.' 


138  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

'  The  very  dead  spit  of  him,  your  honour  ;  and  I  was  told 
he  draws  a  thousand  a  year  salary.' 

'  He  has  five  thousand  five  hundred  a  year.' 

'  Ah,  your  honour,  it 's  very  hard  to  make  me  believe 
that.' 

'  Why  don't  you  believe  it  ?  ' 

'  Because  when  he 's  down  here  he  passes  my  gate  five 
days  in  the  week,  and  I  never  saw  the  sign  of  liquor  on 
him.' 

Evidently  the  bigger  salary  the  bigger  profit  to  the  whisky 
distiller  was  the  rustic's  theory. 

I  have  forgotten  how  the  story  came  to  my  ears,  but  I  told 
it  to  Lord  Morris,  who  much  appreciated  it. 

Another  Kerry  story,  not  unlike  one  narrated  earlier  in 
this  chapter,  runs  thiswise  : — 

Two  men  came  to  order  a  coffin  for  a  mutual  friend  called 
Tim  O'Shaughnessy. 

Said  the  undertaker  : — 

'  I  am  sorry  to  hear  poor  Tim  is  gone.  He  had  a  famous 
way  with  him  of  drinking  whisky.      What  did  he  die  of? ' 

Replied  one  of  the  men  : — 

'  He  is  not  dead  yet  at  all  ;  but  the  doctor  says  he  will  be 
before  the  morning  ;  and  sure  he  should  know,  for  he  knows 
what  he  gave  him.' 

Sometimes,  however,  the  patient  is  quite  as  clever  as  the 
doctor, 

A  physician  in  Dublin  had  a  telephone  put  in  his  bedroom, 
and  when  he  was  rung  up  about  half-past  one  on  a  freezing 
wintry  night,  he  told  his  wife  to  answer  it. 

She  complied,  and  informed  him : — 

'  It  is  Mr.  Shamus  O'Brien,  and  he  wants  you  to  come 
round  at  once.' 


CONSTABULARY  AND  DISPENSARY  DOCTORS    139 

The  physician  knew  this  to  be  purely  an  imaginary  case  of 
illness,  so  not  wishing  to  be  disturbed,  said  to  her  : — 

'  Tell  him  the  doctor  is  out,  and  will  not  be  home  till 
morning.' 

Unfortunately  he  spoke  so  near  the  telephone  that  his 
remark  was  audible  to  the  patient.  So  when  the  wife  had 
duly  delivered  the  message,  the  answer  came  back  : — 

'  If  the  man  in  your  bed  is  a  doctor,  send  him  here.' 


CHAPTER    XIV 


IRISH    CHARACTERISTICS 


It  's  the  proudest  boast  of  my  life  that  I  am  an  Irishman,  and 
the  compliment  which  I  have  most  appreciated  in  my  time  was 
being  called  '  the  poor  man's  friend,'  for  I  love  Paddy  dearly 
though  I  see  his  faults.  Yes,  perhaps  one  of  the  reasons  why 
I  love  him  is  because  I  do  see  the  faults,  for  the  errors  of  an 
Irishman  are  often  almost  as  good  as  the  virtues  of  an  English- 
man, and  are  far  more  diverting  into  the  bargain.  You  must 
not  judge  Paddy  by  the  same  standard  as  you  apply  to  John. 
To  begin  with,  he  has  not  had  the  advantages,  and  secondly, 
there 's  an  ingrained  whimsicality,  for  which  I  would  not 
exchange  all  the  solid  imperfections  of  his  neighbour  across 
the  Irish  Channel. 

You  would  not  judge  all  Scotland  by  Glasgow,  and  so  you 
should  not  fall  into  the  error  of  judging  all  Ireland  by  Belfast. 
Kerry  is  the  jewel  of  Ireland,  and  it  is  with  Kerry  that  I  have 
fortunately  had  most  to  do  in  my  life. 

Whilst  I  am  alluding  to  the  mistake  of  generalising,  let 
me  point  out  how  erroneous  it  is  ever,  historically,  to  talk 
of  Ireland  as  one  country.  When  Henry  ii.  annexed  the 
whole  land  by  a  confiscation  more  open  but  not  more  criminal 
than  that  instigated  by  Mr.  Gladstone,  there  were  four  per- 
fectly separate  kingdoms  in  the  island.  Now  there  are  four 
provinces  which  are  quite  distinct,  and  an  Ulster  man,  or 
a  Munster  man,  or  a  Connaught  man,  knows   far   more,  as 


140 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  141 

a  rule,  of  England,  or  even  Scotland,  than  he  does  of  the 
other  three  provinces  of  his  native  isle.  For  one  Ulster  man 
who  has  been  in  Munster,  three  hundred  have  been  to  Liverpool 
or  Greenock,  and  until  lately  there  was  no  railway  between 
Connaught  and  Munster,  so  that  you  had  to  go  nearly  up 
to  Dublin  to  get  from  one  to  the  other. 

There  is  much  that  is  incomprehensible  to  the  Englishman 
who  comes  among  us  taking  notes,  and  not  the  least  is  that 
no  one  wants  his  cut-and-dried  schemes  of  reforming  what 
we  do  not  wish  to  reform.  As  for  conforming  to  his 
method  and  rule  by  vestry  and  county  council  autocracy  in 
a  methodical  manner,  it  is  utterly  at  variance  with  the 
national  temperament.  Very  often,  too,  the  stranger  falls 
a  victim  to  the  Irishman's  love  of  fun,  and  goes  back  hope- 
lessly *  spoofed '  and  quite  unaware  what  nonsense  he  is 
talking  when  he  lays  down  the  law  on  Ireland  far  from 
that  perplexing  land. 

'  Don't  you  want  three  acres  and  a  cow  ? '  asked  an 
enthusiastic  tourist  from  Birmingham,  soon  after  Mr.  Jesse 
Collins  had  provided  the  music-halls  with  the  catch-phrase. 

'  As  for  the  cow  I  would  not  be  after  saying  it  would  not 
be  a  comfort,  but  what  would  the  pig  want  with  so  much 
land  ?  '  was  the  peasant's  reply. 

And  that  suggests  an  opportunity  to  give  as  my  opinion 
that  the  most  practical  measure  England  could  take  to  benefit 
Ireland  would  be  to  drain  the  large  bogs  and  so  improve  fuel. 
In  some  places  the  bogs  are  likely  to  be  exhausted,  but  in 
others  there  is  plenty  of  turf  (turf,  O  Saxon,  is  not  the  grass 
on  which  you  play  cricket  or  croquet,  but  is  the  Hibernian 
for  peat).  Indeed,  there  is  ample  for  all  the  needs  of  Ireland 
for  a  hundred  years  to  come,  but  it  should  not  be  used 
in   the  shamefully  wasteful  way   so  often   noticeable.      It  is 


142  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

no  excuse  that  the  heat  it  contains  is  not  so  great  as  in 
coal. 

If  coal  were  to  run  out  in  England,  to  what  a  premium 
would  turf  rise  in  Ireland  ! 

Formerly  turf  could  be  picked  up  free,  and  even  now 
it  is  very  cheap,  the  chief  expense  to  the  consumer  being 
the  cost  of  transport  from  the  bog  to  the  turf  rick  behind 
the  cabin. 

The  mineral  rights  of  Ireland  are  most  deceptive.  There 
are  plenty  of  indications  of  minerals,  but  they  are  of  too  poor 
a  nature  to  warrant  working. 

Personally,  I  tried  working  coal-pits  near  Castleisland  for 
three  months,  and  silver  lead  was  worked  for  six  months 
near  Tralee  by  a  company  which  was  more  successful  in 
working  its  own  way  with  the  bankruptcy  court.  I  firmly 
believe  the  reputed  mineral  wealth  of  Ireland  to  be  greatly 
exaggerated,  and  should  never  advise  any  one  to  invest  money 
in  a  syndicate  for  its  discovery.  Smelting  was  largely  per- 
petrated in  olden  times  in  Ireland,  which  entailed  cutting 
down  the  oak  forests,  that  then  crossed  the  country,  to  obtain 
fuel,  the  ore  being  brought  from  England.  But  the  intro- 
duction of  the  coke  process  in  the  north  of  England  settled 
that  industry,  which  was  one  of  the  earliest  Irish  ones  doomed 
to  extinction. 

An  Irish  industry  which  as  yet  shows  no  sign  of  losing 
its  commercial  importance  is  the  blessed  institution  of  matri- 
mony, a  holy  thing  which  in  Ireland  is  particularly  beneficial  to 
the  pockets  of  the  priest,  who  pronounces  the  blessing,  and 
to  the  distiller,  who  sells  the  whisky,  in  which  the  future  of 
the  happy  pair  is  pledged. 

The  matrimonial  arrangements  of  Irish  farmers  in  Kerry 
may  sound  queer  to  an  English  reader,  but  are  the  outcome  of 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  143 

an  innate,  though  unwritten,  law  that  the  whole  family  have  a 
vested  interest  in  the  affair. 

For  example,  when  the  family  is  growing  up,  the  farm  is 
handed  over  to  the  eldest  son,  who  gives  the  parents  a  small 
allowance  during  their  lives,  while  the  fortune  that  he  gets 
with  his  wife  goes,  not  to  himself,  but  to  provide  for  his 
younger  brothers  and  sisters. 

Hence,  if  the  eldest  son  were  to  marry  the  Venus  de 
Medici  with  ten  pounds  less  dowry  than  he  could  get  with 
the  ugliest  wall-eyed  female  in  the  neighbourhood,  he  would 
be  considered  as  an  enemy  to  all  his  family. 

A  tenant  of  a  neighbour  of  mine  actually  got  married  to  a 
woman  without  a  penny,  a  thing  unparalleled  in  my  experience 
in  Kerry,  and  his  sister  presently  came  to  my  wife  for  some 
assistance. 

My  wife  asked  her  : — 

'  Why  does  not  your  brother  support  you  ? ' 

And  she  was  answered  : — 

'  How  could  he  support  any  one  after  bringing  an  empty 
woman  to  the  house  ? ' 

There  was  a  tenant  of  mine,  paying  about  twenty-five 
pounds  a  year  rent,  who  died,  and  his  son  came  to  me  to  have 
his  name  inscribed  in  the  rent  account. 

I  asked  him  what  will  his  father  had  made. 

He  replied  that  he  had  left  him  the  farm  and  its  stock. 

'  What 's  to  become  of  your  brother  and  sister  ? '  says  I. 

'  They  are  to  get  whatever  I  draw,'  says  he. 

'  That  means  whatever  you  get  with  your  wife  ? ' 

'  That  is  so.' 

'  Well,  suppose  you  marry  a  girl  worth  only  twenty  pounds, 
what  would  happen  then  ? ' 

*  That  would  not  do  at  all,'  very  gravely. 


144    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

*  Is  there  no  limit  put  on  the  worth  of  your  wife  ? ' 

'  Oh,'  says  he,  '  I  was  valued  at  one  hundred  and  sixty 
pounds.' 

I  found  out  afterwards  he  had  one  hundred  and  seventy 
with  his  wife. 

A  tenant  on  the  Callinafercy  estate  got  married,  and  the 
mother-in-law  and  the  daughter-in-law  did  not  agree.  So  the 
elder  came  to  complain  to  the  landlord  of  the  girl's  conduct, 
and  after  copiously  describing  various  delinquencies  with  the 
assistance  of  many  invocations  of  the  saints,  she  wound  up 
with : — 

'  And  the  worst  of  all,  Mr.  Marshall,  is  that  she  gives 
herself  all  the  airs  of  a  three  hundred  pound  girl  and  she  had 
but  a  hundred  and  fifty.' 

Filial  obedience  in  the  matter  of  marriage  is  as  uniform 
in  these  classes  in  Kerry  as  it  is  conspicuous  by  its  absence 
in  old  English  novels  and  comedies.  The  sons  never  kick  at 
the  unions,  the  daughters  are  never  hauled  weeping  to  the 
altar,  while  an  elopement  or  a  refusal  to  fulfil  a  matrimonial 
engagement  would  arouse  the  indignation  of  the  whole  country 
side. 

Decidedly  these  marriages  turn  out  better  than  the 
made-up  marriages  in  France.  I  will  go  further,  and  seriously 
affirm  my  belief  that  the  marriages  in  Kerry  show  a  greater 
average  of  happiness  than  any  which  can  be  mentioned.  To 
be  sure  there  is  the  same  dash  after  heiresses  in  Kerry  that 
you  see  in  Mayfair,  and  the  young  farmer  who  is  really 
well-to-do  is  as  much  pursued  as  the  heir  to  an  earldom 
by  matchmaking  mothers  in  Belgravia.  But  the  subsequent 
results  are  much  more  harmonious  in  Kerry,  and  though 
the  landlord's  advice  is  often  asked  to  settle  financial  diffi- 
culties in  carrying  out  the  matrimonial  bargains,  less  frequently 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  145 

is  he  called    upon    to    settle    diiFerences   between   man  and 
wife. 

*  Sure,  he 's  well  enough  meaning,  your  honour,  with 
what  brains  the  Blessed  Virgin  could  spare  for  him,'  is 
the  sort  of  remark  a  wife  will  make  on  behalf  of  her  lazy- 
husband. 

Fidelity  is  the  rule  ;  so  is  reasonable  give  and  take,  though 
each,  being  human,  likes  to  receive  better  than  to  give.  And 
one  thing  which  impresses  a  stranger  is  the  rarity  of  ille- 
gitimate children  out  of  the  towns.  This  is,  of  course,  partly 
due  to  the  influence  of  the  priests,  but  partly  also  to  the  innate 
purity  of  the  Irish  character,  as  well  as  by  the  standard  of 
respectability  : — 

'  Ah,  he 's  a  strong  man,'  you  will  hear  said  of  So-and-So. 

'  How  do  you  prove  that  ? '  says  I. 

'  Why,  has  he  not  his  farm,  and  his  family  with  one  son 
a  priest,  and  one  daughter  in  a  convent,  and  he  with  a  bull 
for  his  own  cows  } ' 

Could  you  want  more  to  get  him  on  the  County  Council  if 
he  has  no  conscience  and  a  convivial  taste  in  the  matter  of 
whisky  ? 

There  can  be  no  doubt  that  the  Irish  take  better  care  of 
their  children  than  the  parents  of  similar  position  in  either 
England  or  Scotland.  Cases  of  cruelty,  which  so  constantly 
disfigure  the  police  courts  in  both  the  latter  countries,  are  very 
rarely  heard  in  the  sister  isle. 

It  is  true  that  in  many  cases  they  cannot  do  much  for  their 
offspring,  but  what  little  they  are  able  to  do  is  done  with  a 
good  will  and  ungrudgingly. 

I  remember  a  Saharan  explorer  telling  me  that  in  the  desert 
he  came  across  some  tribe,  stark  naked,  utterly  poor,  but  all 
on  apparently  affectionate  terms.      He   was  much   impressed 

K 


146   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

with  the  love  shown  by  the  children  of  all  ages  for  their 
parents,  and  inquired  what  the  latter  did  to  inspire  such 
enviable  emotion. 

'  We  give  them  a  handful  of  dates,  when  there  are  any.* 

It  was  apparently  their  sole  form  of  sustenance. 

The  Irishman  is  very  good  to  his  wife,  although  the 
courting  is  a  matter  of  business,  as  I  have  shown.  Wife- 
beating  and  even  more  ignoble  forms  of  marital  cruelty  are 
almost  unknown. 

This  is  surely  a  big  national  asset. 

Furthermore,  the  Irish  are  a  very  moral  people  ;  and  this 
in  spite  of  the  close  proximity  and  confinement  necessitated 
by  the  crowded  condition  of  many  cabins. 

I  was  going  to  add  that  the  light  food  may  have  some- 
thing to  say  to  this,  but  as  the  Irish  are  not  remarkable 
for  their  small  families,  this  would  be  an  unwarrantable 
aspersion. 

Of  course  in  the  big  towns  there  are  women  of  no  import- 
ance, and  Dublin  has  always  borne  rather  a  lively  reputation 
in  this  respect,  though  that  in  no  way  affects  the  general  high 
standard  of  morality. 

The  climate  of  the  country,  despite  the  moisture,  is  one 
conducive  to  good  health,  owing  to  the  absence  of  any  extreme 
vicissitudes. 

It  may  be  asked  why,  considering  the  overcrowding  and 
insanitary  conditions  of  living  in  the  miserable  cabins,  there  is 
not  more  disease,  and  my  reply  is  that  the  peat  which  is  burnt 
is  so  healthy  as  to  act  as  a  disinfectant. 

Indigestion,  like  lunacy,  is,  however,  largely  on  the  increase. 

Nearly  any  old  woman — or  old  man  for  the  matter  of 
that — as  well  as  a  sad  majority  of  younger  people,  will 
tell  you ; — 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  147 

*  I  have  a  pain  in  the  stomach,'  with  the  accent  on  the 
second  syllable  of  the  locality. 

This  is  due  to  excessive  consumption  of  tea. 

Nearly  twenty  times  as  much  tea  must  be  drunk  now  in 
Kerry  as  in  the  early  sixties,  and  so  far  as  I  can  recollect  tea 
was  unknown,  not  only  in  the  cabins  but  among  the  farmers 
until  after  the  famine. 

Fairly  good  tea  is  obtained,  for  the  Irish  will  never  buy 
tea  unless  they  are  asked  a  high  price,  and  for  that  price 
they  usually,  owing  to  competition,  obtain  an  article  not  too 
perniciously  adulterated. 

What  is  highly  injurious  is  the  method  of  making 
the  tea. 

A  lot  is  thrown  into  the  pot  on  the  fire  in  the  cabin  in 
the  morning,  and  there  it  stands  simmering  all  day  long,  that 
those  who  want  it  may  help  themselves. 

This  is  in  sharp  contrast  to  the  method  employed  by 
Dr.  Barter,  the  famous  hydropathic  physician  at  Cork,  one 
of  the  cleverest  men  I  ever  met  and  one  of  the  very  few 
who  never  permitted  medicine  under  any  circumstances,  rely- 
ing on  water,  packing,  and  Turkish  baths,  with  strict  attention 
to  diet. 

He  used  to  make  tea  by  putting  half  a  teaspoonful  into 
a  wire  strainer  which  he  held  over  his  cup,  and  pouring 
boiling  water  upon  the  leaves,  the  contents  of  his  cup  be- 
came a  pale  yellow,  to  which  he  added  a  little  milk  and 
instantly  drank  it  off,  the  whole  process  lasting  but  a  few 
seconds.  I  remember  he  equally  disapproved  of  the  Russian 
method  of  drinking  tea  in  a  glass  with  lemon,  of  the  fashion- 
able way  of  letting  the  water  *  stand  off  the  boil '  upon  the 
leaves  in  a  teapot,  and  of  the  Hibernian  stewing  arrangement 
alluded  to  above. 


148  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Personally  I  regard  all  hydros  as  so  many  emporiums  of 
disease,  an  opinion  in  which  I  am  singular,  but  that  does  not 
convince  me  I  am  wrong. 

A  bailiff  once  went  to  St.  Ann's  Hydro  to  serve  a  writ, 
and  he  told  me  afterwards  that  he  served  it  on  his  victim  in 
a  Turkish  bath,  remarking  : — 

*  And  your  heart  would  have  melted  within  your  honour  in 
pity  for  the  poor  creature  not  having  a  pocket  to  put  the 
document  in.' 

Which  observation  recalls  to  my  mind  the  story  of  a 
gentleman  in  a  Turkish  bath  asking  a  friend  to  dinner,  and 
saying  : — 

*  Don't  mind  dressing  ;  come  just  as  you  are.' 

Another  misunderstood  answer  was  that  of  the  absent- 
minded  man  who  entered  a  hansom  and  began  to  read  a  paper. 

'  Where  to  ^  '  at  last  cabby  asked  laconically. 

'  Drive  to  the  usual  place.' 

'  I  'm  afraid  I  have  too  much  on  the  slate  there,  sir,  unless 
you  pay  my  footing.' 

'  Oh,  go  to  hell,'  retorted  the  other  in  a  rage. 

*  It 's  outside  the  radius,  sir,  and  it  will  be  a  steep  pull  for 
my  old  horse  after  we've  dropped  you.' 

The  light-heartedness  of  the  Celt  is  another  feature  which 
strikes  the  least  observant  stranger. 

An  Irishman  has  been  described  as  a  man  who  confided  his 
soul  to  the  priest,  and  his  body  to  the  British  Government, 
whilst  he  holds  himself  devoid  of  any  vestige  of  responsibility 
for  the  care  of  either. 

Here  is  another  tale,  illustrative  of  his  contentment. 

A  philosopher,  in  search  of  happiness,  was  told  by  a  wise 
man  that  if  he  got  the  shirt  of  a  perfectly  happy  man  and  put 
it  on,  he  would  himself  become  happy. 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  149 

The  philosopher  wandered  over  the  world,  but  could  find 
no  man  whose  happiness  had  not  some  flaw,  until  he  fell  in 
with  an  Irishman  ;  with  whom  he  promptly  began  to  bargain 
for  his  shirt,  only  to  find  he  had  not  one  to  his  back. 

From  philosophy  to  the  deuce  is  not  a  big  stride,  according 
to  the  view  of  those  folk  who  jibe  at  political  economy  and 
all  the  abstract  of  virtues  and  governments.  So,  on  the  tail 
of  their  fancy,  I  am  reminded  of  another  story  about  the 
devil — a  very  large  number  of  Irish  stories  are  connected 
with  him,  because  in  a  very  special  sense  he  is  the  un- 
authorised patron  saint  of  the  sinners  of  the  country,  and 
he  has  had  far  too  much  to  say  to  its  government  into  the 
bargain. 

An  Englishman,  in  the  witless  way  in  which  Saxons  do 
address  Irishmen,  asked  a  labourer  by  the  wayside  : — 

*  If  the  devil  came  by,  do  you  think  he  would  take  me 
or  you  ^ ' 

The  labourer  never  hesitated,  but  replied  : — 

'  He  'd  take  me,  your  honour.' 

'  Why  do  you  say  that  ? ' 

'  Oh,  he  would,*  says  he,  *  because  he 's  sure  of  your  honour 
at  any  time.' 

The  Irishman  is  not  so  black  as  he  may  seem  to  the 
Saxon,  who  reads  with  disgust  the  horrors  that  mar  the 
beauty  of  the  Emerald  Isle,  and  I  should  say  that  his  finest 
trait  is  patience  under  adversity.  No  nation,  for  example, 
could  have  more  calmly  endured  the  terrible  sufferings  of 
the  famine,  more  especially  as  the  high-strung  nerves  of  the 
Celt  render  him  physically  and  mentally  the  very  reverse  of 
a  stoic. 

Again,  in  no  other  nation  are  the  family  ties  closer. 

The  first  thought  of  those  who  emigrate  to  America  is  to 


ISO  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

remit  money  to  the  old  folk  in  the  cabin  at  home.  So  soon  as 
the  emigrants  have  obtained  a  reasonable  degree  of  comfort 
they  will  send  home  the  passage  money  to  pay  for  bringing 
out  younger  brothers  or  sisters  to  them. 

Did  you  ever  hear  the  story  of  the  homesick  Kerry 
undergraduate  at  Oxford,  at  his  first  construe  with  his 
tutor,  translating  contiguare  omnes  as  *  all  of  them  County 
Kerry  men '  ? 

It  was  a  true  home  touch,  though  not  exactly  a  classical 
reading  of  the  passage. 

In  the  same  way,  in  my  boyish  days  at  Dingle,  we  all 
of  us  firmly  believed  that  King  John  had  asked  in  what  part 
of  Kerry  Ireland  was.  That  question  was  our  local  Magna 
Charta,  though  what  the  origin  of  the  tradition  was  I  have 
no  idea. 

But  then  things  do  differ  according  to  the  point  of  view, 
and  ours  of  history  was  not  stranger  than  many  others  of 
far  more  importance. 

As  an  example  of  lack  of  comprehension  I  would  cite  the 
following  incident. 

An  English  gentleman  was  shooting  grouse  in  Ireland. 
He  got  very  few  birds,  and  said  to  the  keeper  : — 

'  Why,  these  actually  cost  me  a  pound  apiece.' 

'  Begorra,  your  honour,  it 's  lucky  there  are  not  more  of 
them,'  was  the  unexpected  answer. 

This  allusion  to  sport  reminds  me  of  the  Frenchman's  de- 
scription of  hunting  in  Ireland,  which  was  to  the  effect  that 
about  thirty  horsemen  and  sixty  dogs  chased  a  wretched  little 
animal  ten  miles,  which  resulted  in  seven  casualties,  and  when 
they  caught  the  poor  beast  not  one  of  them  would  eat  him. 

The  French  do  not  always  appreciate  our  institutions. 
One  of  them  landing   at  Queenstown  in  the  middle  of  the 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  151 

day  asked  if  there  was  anything  he  could  amuse  himself  with 
between  then  and  dinner-time. 

'  Certainly,'  said  the  waiter  ;  *  which  would  you  like,  wine 
or  spirits  ? ' 

By  way  of  amusing  the  reader,  before  going  any  further,  I 
wiU  give  him  a  chance  of  reading  a  genuine,  but  unique 
testament  in  which  I  figured,  and  which  is  not  a  bit  more 
queer  than  many  which  have  been  as  formally  proved. 

'  I  Robert  Shanahan  in  my  last  will  and  testament  do  make 

my  wife    Margaret  Shanahan  Manager  or  guardian  over  my 

farm   and  means  provided  she  remains  unmarried  if  she  do 

not  I  bequeath  to  her   2   shillings  and  sixpence   I  leave  the 

farm   to    my   son    Thomas    Shanahan    provided    he    conducts 

himself  if  not  I  leave  the  farm  to  my  son  Robert  Shanahan 

I  also  wish  that  there  should  be  a  provision  made  for  the  rest 

of  the   family   out   of   the  farm   according   as  the    following 

Executors  which  I  appoint  may  think  fit  Mr.  Hussey  Esq. 

Revd.  Brusnan  P.P.  and  James  Casey  of  Gorneybee.     Given 

under  my  heand  this  7th  day  of  February  1872. 

his 

Robert     X     Shanahan. 

mark 
Witnessed  by 

John  O'Brien. 

Jeremiah  Connor.' 

I  have  a  few  tales  to  tell  of  Kerry  landlords,  a  race  who 
would  have  furnished  Lever  with  a  worthy  theme,  men  as 
humorous  as  they  are  brave,  as  diverting  as  they  can  stand, 
loyal  to  the  Crown  despite  much  disparagement,  and  proud 
to  be  Irishmen,  though  so  unappreciated  by  the  paid  agitators 
and  their  weak  tools. 


152  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

However,  as  I  wish  to  be  on  good  terms  with  all  my 
neighbours  in  this  world,  and  with  the  ghosts  of  the  departed 
ones  when  I  meet  them  in  the  next,  I  am  not  going  to  give 
many  names  or  rub  up  susceptibilities. 

Of  Kerry  landlords,  Lord  Kenmare  naturally  suggests 
himself  to  be  first  mentioned.  He  has  been  somewhat 
unjustly  attacked  more  than  once  about  the  condition  of 
Killarney  as  though  the  town  was  his  private  property.  As 
a  matter  of  fact,  he  is  utterly  powerless  there,  as  it  was  all 
leased  away  for  five  hundred  years  by  his  grandfather.  About 
the  town  the  following  may  be  worth  telling  : — 

A  very  neat  plan  was  drawn  up  for  improving  it,  which 
included  a  gateway  between  every  double  block  of  houses  to 
lead  down  to  the  stables  and  garden,  but  as  it  was  not  thought 
necessary  to  put  a  subletting  clause  into  the  lease,  the  actual 
consequence  was  that  all  these  passages  were  converted  into 
filthy  lanes.  Outside  the  town  Lord  Kenmare  has  built  some 
nice  cottages,  but  within  its  confines  he  could  effect  nothing. 

To  show  you  how  short-lived  is  Irish  gratitude,  ponder 
over  this  : — 

When  Mr.  Daniel  O'Connell,  son  of  the  great  Dan,  stood 
for  West  Kerry  as  a  Unionist,  he  was  warned  by  the  police 
officer  that  he  could  not  be  answerable  for  his  life  if  he  came 
into  Cahirciveen,  for  he  had  only  twenty  constables  to  protect 
him  ;  and  his  wife — a  most  charming  woman — when  driving 
through  the  town  was  surrounded  by  an  insulting  mob, 
members  of  which  actually  spat  in  her  face. 

That  reminds  me  of  a  similar  experience  which  befell  the 
wife  of  Mr.  Cavanagh,  the  man  without  arms  and  legs,  who, 
until  denounced  by  the  Land  League,  was  exceptionally 
popular. 

Mrs.   Cavanagh  was  walking   along   the  road   in  Carlow, 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  153 

carrying  broth  and  wine  to  a  poor  sick  woman,  when  she 
found  herself  the  target  for  a  number  of  stones  and  had  to 
run  for  her  life  amid  a  shower  of  missiles. 

Despite  his  exceptional  infirmities  Mr,  Cavanagh  could 
do  almost  anything.  He  used  to  ride  most  pluckily  to  hounds, 
strapped  on  to  his  saddle.  On  one  occasion  the  saddle  turned 
under  him,  and  the  horse  trotted  back  to  the  stable-yard,  with 
his  master  hanging  under  him,  his  hair  sweeping  the  ground, 
bleeding  profusely  ;  he  merely  cursed  the  groom  with  emphatic 
volubility,  had  himself  more  safely  readjusted,  and  then  rode 
out  once  more. 

He  always  wore  pink  when  hunting.  One  day  a  pretty 
child  of  ten  years  old  was  out  with  her  groom,  who  followed 
the  scent  so  ardently,  that  he  forgot  all  about  his  charge, 
who  was  left  behind,  and  finding  herself  lost  in  a  wood,  began 
to  cry. 

Suddenly  there  swooped  out  on  a  very  big  horse,  the 
armless  and  legless  figure  of  Cavanagh  in  his  flaming  coat,  and 
seeing  her  predicament,  he  seized  her  rein  somehow — she 
never  seems  quite  clear  how — saying  : — 

*  Don't  be  frightened,  little  girl,  for  I  know  who  you  are, 
and  will  take  care  of  you.' 

He  was  as  good  as  his  word,  but  the  high-strung,  sensitive 
child,  so  soon  as  she  was  in  her  mother's  embrace,  went  from 
one  fit  of  hysterics  to  another,  crying  : — 

*  Oh,  mummy,  I  've  seen  the  devil,  I  've  seen  the  devil.' 
In  after    years  they   became  great  friends,  and   he  often 

dined  with  her  after  she  married  and  settled  in  London. 

Reverting  to  Lord  Kenmare,  the  following  story,  which  in 
another  version  recently  won  a  railway  story  competition  in 
some  newspaper,  really  pertains  to  his  son  Lord  Castlerosse. 

On  a  line  in  Kerry  there  is  a  sharp  curve  overhanging  the 


154  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

sea.  An  old  woman  in  a  great  state  of  nervous  agitation  was 
bundled  at  the  last  moment  into  a  first-class  compartment. 

Lord  Castlerosse,  the  only  passenger  in  the  compartment, 
by  way  of  relieving  her  obvious  agitation,  tried  to  calm  her 
by  telling  her  she  could  change  at  the  next  station.' 

'  Is  it  me  that  can  be  aisy,'  she  replied,  '  when  it 's  my  Pat 
is  driving  the  engine,  and  him  having  a  dhrop  taken,  and 
saying  he  '11  take  us  a  shpin  round  the  Head  ? ' 

After  all,  to  my  mind,  for  sheer  humour  of  a  quiet  sort, 
nothing  beats  the  observation  of  the  late  Sir  John  Godfrey, 
who  never  got  up  before  one  in  the  day,  and  invariably  break- 
fasted when  his  family  were  having  lunch.  Being  asked  one 
day  to  account  for  this  rather  inconvenient  habit,  he  replied  : — 

'The  fact  is,  I  sleep  very  slow.' 

I  commend  this  to  every  sluggard  who  wants  an  excuse  to 
resume  his  slumbers  when  awakened  too  soon. 

There  was  a  gentleman  who  had  rather  a  red  nose,  and 
some  one  remarked  that  it  was  an  expensive  piece  of  painting, 
to  which  some  one  else  significantly  added,  that  it  was  not  a 
water-colour. 

'  No,'  said  Sir  John,  '  it  was  done  in  distemper.' 

One  night  a  landlord  in  Kerry,  who  shall  be  nameless, 
though  he  has  passed  over  to  the  great  majority,  went  to  bed 
without  having  much  knowledge  how  he  got  there. 

Two  of  his  sons  crept  to  the  neighbouring  town,  un- 
screwed the  sign  outside  the  inn,  and  put  it  at  the  end  of  their 
parent's  bed. 

When  he  awoke,  he  looked  at  the  sign  for  some  time  in  a 
bewildered  way.     Then  he  observed  aloud  : — 

*  I  thought  I  went  to  sleep  in  my  own  bed,  but  I  'm 
d d  if  I  have  not  woke  in  the  middle  of  the  street.' 

A    certain    roystering    gentleman    named    Jack    Ray   got 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  155 

drunk  and  fell  asleep  in  the  woods  of  Kilcoleman.  Some  of 
the  Godfrey  boys,  seeing  him  prostrate  and  with  foam  on  his 
lips,  ran  to  summon  their  father,  saying  to  him  : — 

*  There 's  a  man  dead  in  the  wood.' 

Sir  William  hastened  to  the  spot,  and  having  put  on  his 
glasses  to  get  a  view  of  the  corpse,  observed  : — 

*  Come  away,  my  boys,  this  man  dies  once  a  week.' 
Another  Kerry  landlord,  who  was  also   a  baronet,  dealt 

with  the  National  Bank,  the  local  manager  of  which  was  an 
arrant  snob,  who  loved  a  tide,  and  bored  everybody  with  his 
pretended  intimacy  with  the  impecunious  baronet.  But  at 
last  even  his  patience  was  exhausted,  and  he  sent  the  squire 
a  pretty  stiff  letter  about  the  arrears  due. 

The  other  received  the  letter  at  breakfast,  and  showed  it 
to  his  son  just  come  down  from  a  University,  who  whistled 
and  ejaculated  : — 

'  O  tempora  !  O  mores  ! ' 

His  father  instantly  retorted  : — 

*  You  get  me  the  temporary,  and  I  '11  promptly  see  we 
have  more  ease.' 

In  the  bad  times,  an  old  woman  came  into  the  office  at 
Tralee  to  pay  her  rent.  Mr.  Francis  Denny  was  in  a  real 
bad  humour  with  somebody  else  who  had  defaulted,  and  he 
was  raging  along  in  a  manner  qualified  to  display  his  intimate 
acquaintance  with  the  florid  embellishments  of  the  language. 
The  old  woman  listened  with  evident  admiration  for  some 
time.     At  last  she  ejaculated  : — 

'  Ah,  the  nate  little  man.' 

And  with  that  slipped  out,  without  settling  her  account. 

Mr.  Francis  Denny  has  the  misfortune  to  be  rather  lame, 
and  one  day  another  old  woman,  who  liked  him,  observed  :  — 

'  If  he  had  two   sound  legs  under  him,  there  'd  be   no 


156  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

holding  him  in  Tralee,  but  he  'd  be  up  at  the  Castle  setting 
the  Lord  Lieutenant  right  in  his  many  errors,  not  to  mention 
going  over  to  London  to  give  the  Queen  herself  a  bit  of  his 
mind.' 

In  the  bad  times,  one  lady  was  left  in  her  Kerry  residence 
with  her  baby  boy  and  a  pack  of  maidservants,  her  husband 
having  been  called  over  to  England. 

She  had  sixty  pounds  of  gold  in  her  bedroom,  and  one 
night  a  housemaid  rushed  in  to  say  a  party  of  moonlighters 
were  in  the  house. 

The  lady  threw  a  sovereign  and  some  silver  on  to  the 
dressing-table,  and  hid  the  rest  under  her  mattress. 

In  came  the  masked  scoundrels  asking  for  gold,  and  when 
she  pointed  to  the  money  that  was  visible,  one  replied  that  it 
was  not  enough. 

'  Very  well,'  she  said,  '  give  me  your  name  and  I  '11  write 
you  a  cheque.' 

On  that  they  left  precipitately,  to  her  intense  relief. 

All  moonlighters  calculated  upon  the  terrorism  their 
appearance  would  cause,  and  if  this  was  apparently  conspicuous 
by  its  absence  they  were  nonplussed,  because  they  never  felt 
over  secure  in  their  own  hearts  at  the  best  of  times,  and  grew 
frightened  directly  others  were  not  frightened  by  them. 

In  all  moonlighting  affrays  no  one  scoundrel  ever  became 
personally  conspicuous  as  a  leader,  and  all  the  wisest  leaders, 
such  as  Stephens,  Tynan,  and  Parnell,  shrouded  their  move- 
ments in  mystery.  Fenianism  in  Ireland  since  Emmett  has 
never  had  one  capable  leader  possessing  the  physical  courage 
to  show  himself  in  the  forefront  on  all  occasions. 

On  the  other  hand,  it  is  a  singular  fact  that  nearly  every 
general  of  note  in  the  army  of  the  United  Kingdom,  since 
the  time  of  Marlborough,  has  come  from  Ireland.     The  Duke 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  157 

of  Wellington  was  born  in  County  Meath,  Lord  Gough  in 
Tipperary,  Lord  Wolseley  in  County  Carlow,  Lord  Roberts 
in  Waterford,  Sir  George  White  in  Antrim,  General  French 
in  Roscommon,  and  Lord  Kitchener  in  Kerry. 

The  attempts  of  the  English  Government  to  manufacture 
an  English  general  in  the  South  African  war  were  a  miserable 
fiasco.  They  only  produced  one,  Sir  Charles  Tucker,  and 
he  did  his  best  to  atone  for  the  accident  of  his  English  birth 
by  marrying  a  Kerry  lady. 

I  had  the  pleasure  of  meeting  Sir  Redvers  Buller  in 
Killarney,  and  after  he  had  been  there  a  couple  of  days  he 
proceeded  to  describe  Kerry  to  me,  who  had  been  managing 
one  fifth  of  it  for  several  years.  His  agricultural  reforms 
would  have  been  as  drastic  as  they  were  ludicrous  had  any  one 
attempted  to  carry  them  out,  but  when  expatiating  on  them  to 
me,  he  was  not  even  aware  that  there  was  any  difference 
between  an  English  and  an  Irish  acre.  When  I  heard  that 
he  was  taking  charge  of  the  whole  army  in  South  Africa,  I 
mentioned  that  as  he  had  been  unable  to  command  three 
hundred  constabulary  in  Kerry,  I  was  sceptical  of  his  ability  to 
manage  the  British  army.  He  was  without  exception  the 
most  self-sufficient  soldier  I  ever  met,  and  his  subsequent 
career  has  not  made  me  change  my  view. 

Here  is  a  soldier  story  which  is  mighty  illustrative  of 
Irish  traits. 

A  peasant's  son  in  Limerick  enlisted  in  the  militia  for  a 
month's  training,  for  which  he  received  a  bounty  of  three 
pounds.  With  part  of  this  money  he  bought  a  pig  and  gave 
it  to  his  father  to  feed  up.  When  the  pig  was  fattened, 
the  father  sold  it  and  declined  to  give  him  the  price.  So  the 
son  was  seen  by  the  police  to  take  his  father  by  the  throat, 
saying  : — 


158   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

*  Bad  luck  to  you,  old  reprobate,  do  you  want  to  deprive 
me  of  my  pig  that  I  risked  my  life  for  in  the  British  Army  ? ' 

Everywhere  I  like  to  slip  into  this  book  instances  of  the 
injuries  suffered  by  Irish  landlords,  so  here  is  another  case 
a  propos  des  bottes,  if  you  will  forgive  it. 

The  Knight  of  Kerry  let  nine  acres  of  land  to  a  tenant  for 
a  rent  of  forty-five  pounds.  Having  expended  a  large  sum  of 
money  in  roadmaking  and  fences,  at  the  tenant's  request,  he 
also  borrowed  thirty-five  pounds  to  build  a  small  house  for 
which  he  has  to  pay  thirty-five  shillings  per  annum.  The  com- 
missioners cut  down  the  rent  so  heavily,  that  it  has  resulted 
in  the  landlord  having  to  pay  five  shillings  a  year  for  the 
pleasure  of  looking  at  the  man  in  occupation  of  his  land. 

Reverting  to  my  reminiscences — or  rather  to  what  are  for 
myself  less  interesting  portions,  for  I  am  a  land  agent  by 
profession  and  an  anecdotist  only  by  habit — I  remember  that 
an  Englishman  subsequently  a  Pasha  commanded  the  coast- 
guard at  Dingle  in  1856,  and  then  had  an  encounter  with  a 
local  Justice  of  the  Peace  in  which  he  came  off  second  best. 

Captain  occupied   the  Grove  demesne.     The    J. P., 

who  had  been  a  Scotch  militia  officer,  had  been  in  the  habit  of 
shooting  crows  over  the  demesne,  and  continued  to  enjoy  the 
sport,  to  which  the  Captain  strongly  objected.  After  an  angry 
correspondence  the  J. P.  sent  a  challenge,  which  the  other 
did  not  seem  to  stomach,  for  he  sent  an  apology  by  a 
subordinate  with  full  permission  to  continue  the  immolation 
of  the  birds.  If  a  cruiser  had  to  capitulate  to  this  bold 
blockade  runner,  the  Captain  himself  had  to  endure  a  similar 
humiliation  at  the  hands  of  an  indignant  Kerry  man,  though 
he  was  very  popular  in  Dingle. 

There  is  nothing  pusillanimous  about  the  Irishman,  except 
when  in  cold  blood  he  was  expected  to  attack  an  agent,    or 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  159 

landlord,  or  policeman,  armed  to  the  teeth.  In  such  cases,  he 
remembered  that  his  parents,  by  the  blessing  of  the  Holy 
Virgin,  had  endowed  him  with  two  legs,  and  only  one  skin, 
which  latter  must  therefore  be  saved  by  the  discretionary 
employment  of  the  former. 

In  other  cases  he  is  very  brave,  especially  in  verbal 
encounters.  Fighting  is  in  his  blood.  That  is  what  makes 
the  Irish  soldier  the  best  in  the  world,  and  that  was  why  he 
used  to  revel  in  the  faction  fights.  As  a  paternal  Govern- 
ment now  prevents  the  breaking  of  heads,  at  all  events  on  a 
wholesale  scale,  the  pugnacious  instincts  of  the  nation  have  to 
be  gratified  by  litigation,  and  certainly  there  never  was  such  a 
litigious  race  in  history  as  the  contemporary  Ireland. 

I  know  of  a  case  on  the  Callinafercy  estate,  where  a  widow 
spent  fifty  pounds  '  in  getting  the  law  of '  a  neighbour  whose 
donkey  had  browsed  on  her  side  of  a  hedge.  She  took  the 
case  to  the  assizes,  and  when  the  judge  heard  Mr.  Leeson 
Marshall  was  her  landlord,  he  said  :- — 

'  Let  him  decide  it.  He 's  a  barrister  himself,  and  can 
judge  far  better  than  I  could  on  such  a  subject.' 

To  this  there  are  literally  hundreds  of  parallels  every 
year.  Readers  of  La  'Terre  will  remember  how  much  of 
the  funds  went  into  the  hands  of  the  lawyer  who  thrived  on 
the  animosities  of  the  family,  and  that  sort  of  thing  is  con- 
stantly reduplicated  in  Kerry. 

'  I  'd  sell  my  last  cow  to  appeal  on  a  point  of  law,'  I  once 
heard  a  Killorgin  farmer  say  ;  and  that  is  typical  of  all  the 
lower  classes  in  the  South  and  West. 

As  for  the  solicitors,  I  am  not  going  to  say  a  word  about 
them,  good  or  bad  :  there  are  men  no  doubt  worthy  of  either 
epithet  in  a  profession  that  preys  on  the  troubles  of  other  folk. 
But  I  will  tell  one  very  brief  story  on  the  topic. 


i6o  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Outside  the  Four  Courts,  a  poor  woman  stopped  Daniel 
O'Connell,  saying  : — 

*  If  you  please,  your  honour,  will  you  direct  me  to  an 
honest  attorney  ? ' 

The  Liberator  pushed  back  his  wig  and  scratched  his  head. 

'  Well  now,  you  beat  me  entirely,  ma'am,'  was  his  answer. 

He  had  more  experience  than  me,  being  one. 

Talking  of  the  Four  Courts  reminds  me  of  Chief  Baron 
Guillamore,  who  had  as  much  wit  as  will  provoke  '  laughter  in 
court,'  and  a  trifle  over  that  infinitesimal  quantity  as  well. 

A  new  Act  of  Parliament  had  been  passed  to  prevent 
people  from  stealing  timber.  A  stupid  juryman  asked  if  he 
could  prosecute  a  man  under  that  act  for  stealing  turnips. 

*  Certainly  not,  unless  they  are  very  sticky,'  retorted  the  judge. 
His  brother  was  a  magistrate,  and  committed  a  barrister  in 

petty  sessions  for  contempt  of  court.  An  action  was  brought 
against  him,  but  the  Chief  Baron  raised  so  many  legal  excep- 
tions, that  it  had  finally  to  be  abandoned  through  the  fraternal 
law-moulding.  This  action  was  pending  in  the  civil  court, 
when  a  lawyer  was  very  impertinent  to  the  Chief  Baron  in 
the  criminal.  Instead  of  committing  him,  the  Chief  Baron 
said  very  quietly  : — 

'  If  you  do  not  keep  quiet,  I  shall  send  to  the  next  Court 
for  my  brother.' 

Another  judge  had  applied  for  shares  in  a  company  of 
which  a  friend  of  his  was  secretary.  Meeting  him  in  Sackville 
Street,  he  stopped  him  to  inquire  what  would  be  the  paid-up 
capital  of  the  concern. 

The  other  forgot  whom  he  was  addressing,  and  blurted  out 
the  truth  by  replying  : — 

'  Well,  I  really  cannot  tell  you  just  yet,  but  the  cheques 
are  coming  in  fast.' 


IRISH  CHARACTERISTICS  i6i 

The  judge  withdrew  his  application  by  the  next  post,  and 
confidently  expected  to  see  his  friend  in  the  dock.  I  believe 
in  less  than  six  months  he  was  not  disappointed. 

The  poorer  class  in  Ireland  do  not  appear  to  be  business- 
like in  the  ordinary  sense,  however  much  they  may  develop 
commercial  instincts  after  emigrating.  It  is  to  promote  the 
latent  capacity  obviously  within  their  power  that  creameries 
and  other  assisted  promotions  have  been  started  in  various 
parts  of  the  country,  sometimes  with  great  success.  Sir 
Horace  Plunkett  and  others  have  dealt  with  all  this  in  the 
most  serious  spirit.  I  prefer  to  allude  to  it,  and  add  one 
anecdote. 

A  lady  asked  a  respectable  old  woman  how  her  son  was 
getting  on  as  manager  of  the  creamery,  and  the  reply  came 
after  the  following  fashion  : — 

'  Whisna  the  poor  man  and  all  the  trouble  he  has,  and 
him  never  able  to  make  the  butter  and  the  books  scoromund,' 
which,  being  translated,  is  '  correspond.' 

Another  example  I  can  cite  of  the  difficulty  in  getting 
people  to  put  their  intelligence  to  practical  use  in  the  south 
is  to  this  effect  : — 

There  was  a  certain  widdy  woman  in  a  neighbouring 
parish  who  was  making  great  lamentation  over  her  *  pitaties ' 
to  the  priest,  and  in  consequence  he  lent  her  a  machine  for 
the  purpose  of  spraying  them.  She  professed  the  profoundest 
gratitude  as  well  as  interest  in  the  implement,  but  the  task 
speedily  became  too  big  an  effort,  for  she  subsequently  in- 
formed me  that  she  had  sprayed  *  half  the  field  to  plase  his 
Rivirence,  but  left  the  rest  to  God.' 

And  that  is  the  kind  of  negative  piety  which  is  distinctly 
a  characteristic  Irish  trait. 


CHAPTER    XV 

LORD-LIEUTENANTS    AND    CHIEF    SECRETARIES 

Any  Irishman  who  has  reached  the  shady  side  of  threescore 
years  and  ten  must  remember  many  Lord-Lieutenants — the 
pompously  visible  symbols  of  much  vacillating  misdirection. 

To  analyse  them  would  be  the  work  of  an  historian,  to 
criticise  would  be  superfluous.  They  have  been  so  many 
Malvolios,  all  alike  anxious  to  win  the  favour  of  that 
capricious  Lady  Olivia  Erin,  and  not  one  of  them  has 
succeeded,  though  several  have  merited  better  fortune  than 
they  met  with  on  Irish  soil. 

The  first  Lord-Lieutenant  I  personally  met  was  Lord 
Carlisle. 

He  was  a  gentleman,  but  not  otherwise  remarkable.  He 
had  come  into  the  Government  on  the  resignation  of  the 
Peelites,  and  his  popularity  in  Ireland  was  greater  than  any 
other  holder  of  the  post  in  the  century,  possibly  owing  to  his 
negative  qualities,  and  also  to  a  charm  of  manner  more  effusive 
than  usual  among  Englishmen. 

He  had  a  habit  of  dropping  his  state,  and  going  about 
Dublin,  if  not  like  Haroun  Alraschid,  at  least  with  the 
independence  of  men  in  less  august  positions. 

On  one  occasion,  needing  some  local  information,  he  went 
to  see  the  Lord  Mayor  of  Dublin,  but  finding  him  out,  was 
given  the  address  of  an  alderman  who  could  tell  him  what  he 
wanted  to  know. 

102 


LORD-LIEUTENANTS— CHIEF  SECRETARIES  163 

The  alderman  was  not  in  either,  but  his  wife  was,  and 
begged  him  to  stop  to  lunch,  which  was  just  being  served. 

Lord  Carlisle  told  her  he  hardly  ever  ate  lunch,  and  was 
not  in  the  least  hungry. 

But  under  pressure  he  sat  down  to  the  meal,  and  got  on 
very  well  with  it,  whereat  the  lady  remarked : — 

'  You  see,  your  Excellency,  eating  is  like  scratching  :  when 
you  once  begin  it  is  hard  to  stop.' 

His  predecessor.  Lord  Clarendon,  had  been  in  office  when 
Lord  John  Russell,  the  Prime  Minister,  urged  on  the  House 
of  Commons  a  bill  for  the  abolition  of  the  Lord-Lieutenancy. 
The  great  point  that  he  made  was  that  the  Chief  Secretary 
might  become  a  mayor  of  the  viceregal  palace,  a  thing  that 
has  now  long  been  the  case,  for  the  Lord-Lieutenant  has  to  be 
a  plutocrat  of  high  descent,  and  the  Chief  Secretary  is  the 
virtual  administrator  of  Ireland — a  thing  unknown,  however, 
until  the  advent  of  Mr.  Foster.  The  second  reading  was 
carried  by  a  majority  of  over  a  hundred  and  fifty,  but  it 
was  then  dropped. 

The  story  went  that  the  Duke  of  Wellington  had 
suggested  to  Prince  Albert  the  possible  diminution  of  respect 
for  the  Crown  in  Ireland  without  a  visible  representative,  and 
the  Teutonic  mind  could  not  endure  such  a  notion. 

Lord  Clarendon  upheld  the  dignity  of  his  position,  though 
he  was  liked  by  neither  party  in  Ireland.  He  is  the  only  Lord- 
Lieutenant  who  ever  administered  sharp  discipline  to  the 
Orangemen — who  regard  their  loyalty  as  permitting  them  a 
good  deal  of  licence — for  he  removed  the  name  of  their 
leader.  Lord  Roden,  from  the  Commission  of  the  Peace 
because  he  encouraged  a  turbulent  procession  at  Dolly's  Brae, 
With  his  pompous  manner  he  made  a  very  Brummagem 
monarch,  quite  indifferent  to  his  unpopularity.     As  a  matter 


i64  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

of  fact,  some  allege  that  all  Lord-Lieutenants  are  hated  by  the 
disloyal  section  of  the  populace,  and  if  they  go  through  the 
farce  of  currying  popularity,  they  can  only  do  so  by  largely 
patronising  about  a  dozen  shopkeepers,  who  eventually  curse 
because  yet  more  has  not  been  spent.  But  this  is  altogether 
too  limited  to  be  true. 

Lord  Kimberley  followed  Lord  Carlisle.  In  those  days 
he  was  Lord  Wodehouse,  and  the  Fenians  used  to  issue  mock 
proclamations,  in  ridicule  of  his,  signed  '  Woodlouse.'  He 
was  an  experienced  parliamentarian — a  man  who  held  office 
for  many  years,  and  worked  conscientiously,  according  to 
his  lights. 

In  Ireland  he  always  appeared  to  be  a  naturalist,  perplexed 
at  not  understanding  the  species  among  which  his  lot  was  for 
the  time  cast. 

His  mother  was  subsequently  married  to  Mr.  Crosbie 
Moore,  and  she  ran  away  with  Colonel  Fitz-Gibbon,  after- 
wards Lord  Clare. 

Mr.  Crosbie  Moore  had  not  much  sense  of  humour,  as  the 
following  tale  will  show. 

He  was  presiding  at  Ballyporeen  Petty  Sessions,  when  a 
village  tailor  was  summoned  for  having  his  pig  wandering  on 
the  road. 

The  fellow  pleaded  that  it  was  due  to  great  curiosity  on 
the  part  of  the  pig,  who  saw  some  constabulary  passing  by,  and 
rushed  out  to  see  what  they  were  like. 

He  made  this  explanation  in  such  humorous  fashion 
that  most  of  the  magistrates  were  for  letting  him  off;  but 
Mr.  Crosbie  Moore  said  it  was  scandalous  that  they  had 
directed  the  police  to  summon  people  on  that  very  ground, 
and  they  wanted  to  acquit  the  culprit  because  he  had  made 
a  joke. 


LORD-LIEUTENANTS— CHIEF  SECRETARIES  165 

The  rest  of  the  Bench  had  to  acquiesce,  and  the  tailor  was 
fined  one  shilling. 

He  paid  his  shilling,  and  said  : — 

'  t  have  no  blame  to  you  at  all,  gentlemen,  except  to  Mr. 
Crosbie  Moore  ;  and,  indeed,  if  he  reflected,  he  should  have 
known  that  no  live  man  could  keep  a  woman  or  a  pig  in  the 
house  when  she  wanted  to  be  off.' 

A  subscription  raised  for  him  outside  the  Court  realised 
twenty-three  shillings. 

Tradition  goes  that  when  Lord  Kimberley,  Lord  Carling- 
ford,  and  Lord  Granville  were  all  in  Mr,  Gladstone's  Cabinet, 
Mr.  Chamberlain — then  at  the  Board  of  Trade — in  a  moment 
of  vexation  called  them  '  Gladstone's  grannies,'  and  if  the 
phrase  is  not  his,  it  most  certainly  was  apt  and  truthful. 

Lord  Kimberley  was  known  as  '  Pussy  '  among  a  gang  of 
disrespectful  subordinates.  He  really  did  as  little  to  earn 
respect  as  he  did  to  forfeit  it  ;  in  fact  he  was  a  pre-eminently 
respectable  mediocrity  of  the  kind  that,  towards  the  close  of 
the  mid- Victorian  period,  clung  like  barnacles  to  office,  and 
he  was  a  Whig  during  the  period  that  Whiggism  was  growing 
obsolete. 

The  Duke  of  Abercorn  certainly  had  no  tendencies 
towards  the  lavish  extravagance  by  which  a  modern  Lord- 
Lieutenant  has  to  pay  his  footing,  A  short  time  before  he 
was  chosen  he  had  claimed  the  Dukedom  of  Chatelherault  in 
France,  and  was  known  in  consequence  among  the  malcontents 
as  the  '  French  Frog.'  His  wife  was  the  daughter  of  one 
Duke  of  Bedford,  and  when  another  came  to  stay  at  the  vice- 
regal, it  was  for  a  time  called  the  '  Dukeries.'  The  A.D.C.'s, 
who  were  particularly  good-looking,  were  at  once  known  as 
the  '  Duckeries.' 

The  Duke  of  Marlborough  settled  down  well  to  his  work. 


1 66  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

He  was  frankly  the  friend  of  the  landlords,  and  did  his  best 
for  them.  But  he  brought  no  English  politicians  in  his  train  ; 
he  never  thought  he  could  settle  every  Irish  question  after  he 
had  smoked  a  pipe  over  it ;  and  he  was  never  inaccessible. 

He  came  on  a  visit  to  Muckross  when  Sir  Ivor  Guest  had 
the  shooting,  and  I  dined  there  to  meet  him.  He  visited 
Killarney  on  several  occasions,  and  on  each  of  them  I  had  long 
talks  with  him.  I  always  thought  him  a  painstaking,  well- 
meaning  man. 

Lord  Cowper  was  an  honest  nonentity  who  left  the 
country  in  disgust  because  he  was  not  backed  up  by  the 
Government.  Several  modern  figureheads  would  be  very 
much  surprised  at  any  Government  expecting  them  to  do 
more  than  '  understudy  Royalty.'  But  Cowper  thought 
himself  a  diplomatist  ;  was  fond  of  authoritatively  laying 
down  the  law  on  continental  affairs,  as  though  he  had  the 
refusal  of  the  Foreign  Office  in  his  pocket  ;  and  felt  he  ought 
to  have  as  much  support  as  Palmerston  obtained  from  the 
various  Cabinets  he  burdened  with  European  embroglios. 

However,  Lord  Spencer,  on  being  reappointed  for  a  second 
term,  took  up  the  thankless  task  at  an  especially  black  moment. 
He  was  as  brave  as  a  lion  ;  and  if  his  red  beard  gained  him 
the  nickname  of  '  Rufus,'  the  Red  Viceroy  was  as  fearless  as 
though  his  life  were  absolutely  secure,  instead  of  depending 
wholly  on  the  vigilance  of  those  surrounding  him. 

We  all  admired  Lord  Spencer  for  his  firmness  ;  but  this 
was  soon  discovered  to  be  due  to  the  fact  that  he  absolutely 
followed  the  sage  advice  of  Sir  Edward  Sullivan,  the  Lord 
Chancellor,  and  after  the  death  of  the  latter,  Lord  Spencer's 
weakness  was  quite  as  remarkable  as  his  previous  firmness. 

He  was  seen  on  one  occasion  with  his  hands  pressing 
his  back. 


LORD-LIEUTENANTS— CHIEF  SECRETARIES  167 

Said  one  man  : — 

'  I  fear  his  Excellency  has  lumbago.' 

*  Not  at  all,'  replied  his  friend  ;  '  he  is  feeling  for  his 
backbone.' 

The  state  of  Westmeath  was  reaUy  the  worst  feature  of 
the  period  of  his  rule,  yet  Lord  Spenser  was  in  the  country  all 
the  while,  and  allowed  matters  to  degenerate  with  his  eyes 
open. 

He  rode  hard  to  hounds,  in  spite  of  countless  threats, 
and  might  have  had  a  less  uncomfortable  time  had  the  head 
of  the  Constabulary  been  as  thoroughly  capable  as  his 
subordinates, 

Lord  Carnarvon  very  nearly  ruined  the  Government  by 
his  communications  with  Mr.  Parnell.  He  meant  well,  and 
struck  out  a  patriotic  line  of  his  own,  which  failed  because  it 
was  made  in  absolute  ignorance  of  the  Irish  character.  But  he 
never  intended  to  involve  his  colleagues,  although  numbers  of 
people  chose  to  regard  him  as  a  Tory  Home  Ruler.  His 
previous  action  in  resigning  the  Secretaryship  of  the  Colonies 
in  Lord  Derby's  third  administration,  owing  to  a  difference 
of  opinion  on  parliamentary  reform,  and  his  subsequent 
resignation  because  he  disapproved  of  Lord  Beaconsfield's 
Eastern  action  in  1878,  showed  him  to  be  a  man  of  marked 
and  fearless  opinions.  Lord  Salisbury  ought  to  have  known 
that  he  was  thrusting  a  brand  into  the  fire  when  he  sent  him 
to  be  the  official  bellows-blower  of  the  Hibernian  pot. 

Lord  Aberdeen  will  always  be  remembered  as  the  husband 
of  his  wife.  Lady  Aberdeen  was  a  more  ardent  Home  Ruler 
than  even  her  brother.  Lord  Tweedmouth.  On  one  occasion 
Lord  Morris  was  next  her  at  dinner,  and  she  said  she  supposed 
the  majority  of  people  in  Ireland  were  in  favour  of  Home 
Rule. 


1 68   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

'  Indeed,  then,  with  the  exception  of  yourself  and  the 
waiters,  there  's  not  one  in  the  room,'  was  his  answer. 

'  Of  course,  not  in  the  Castle,'  she  repHed  with  dignity  ; 
'  but  in  your  profession,  and  when  you  arc  on  circuit,  surely 
you  must  meet  a  good  many  ? ' 

'  Occasionally — in  the  dock,'  he  drily  retorted,  after  which 
she  discreetly  dropped  the  subject. 

Lord  Aberdeen  was  most  exemplary  during  his  brief 
tenure  of  office,  and  certainly  it  was  not  in  his  time  that  the 
folk  christened  the  royal  box  at  the  theatre  the  '  loose  box,'  in 
allusion  to  the  rather  dubious  English  guests  of  the  vivacious 
viceroy. 

Lord  Londonderry  and  Lord  Zetland  may  be  both  briefly 
bracketed  together  as  having  done  their  duty  admirably  in 
times  less  out  of  joint  than  those  of  their  predecessors.  Lord 
Londonderry  always  drank  Irish  whisky  himself,  and  recom- 
mended it  to  his  guests  as  a  capital  beverage — a  thing  which 
the  licensed  victuallers  did  not  mind  mentioning  to  Paddy 
and  Mick  when  they  were  having  a  drop,  despite  their  vaunted 
contempt  of  all  at  *  the  Castle.' 

No  other  Lord-Lieutenant  ever  had  such  a  mournful 
experience  as  Lord  Houghton.  Son  of  Monckton  Milnes, 
the  '  cool  of  the  evening,'  he  needed  his  father's  temperament 
to  enable  him  to  endure  the  boycott  which  Irish  society 
inflicted  on  him  as  the  representative  of  the  Home  Rule 
disruption  policy.  With  no  class  did  he  go  down,  and 
on  a  crowded  market-day  in  Tralee  not  a  hat  was  raised 
to  him. 

One  of  his  A.D.C.'s  was  subsequently  on  the  veldt,  and 
when  asked  if  it  was  not  lonely,  he  replied  :  — 

'  Not  more  than  Dublin  Castle,  when  Houghton  was  the 
king.' 


LORD-LIEUTENANTS— CHIEF  SECRETARIES  169 

On  one  occasion  some  people  were  officially  commanded 
to  dine.  Not  a  carriage  was  to  be  seen  as  they  drove  up  to 
the  Viceregal  Lodge,  so  the  gentleman  told  his  coachman  to 
drive  round  the  Phoenix  Park,  as  they  must  be  too  early. 
There  was  still  no  sign  of  any  gathering  as  they  again 
approached  the  official  residence,  and  when  they  entered  they 
found  they  were  the  only  guests,  and  the  infuriated  Lord 
Houghton,  as  well  as  all  his  household  had  been  kept  waiting 
twenty  minutes  by  this  hapless  pair. 

Another  story,  which  was  much  enjoyed  in  Ireland  as 
showing  the  pomposity  of  his  Excellency,  may  be  recalled. 
Whether  true  it  is  now  difficult  to  say,  but  there  is  no  doubt 
that  the  tale  was  started  among  the  very  house-party  who  were 
at  Carton  at  the  time. 

The  beautiful  chatelaine^  the  lovely  Duchess  of  Leinster, 
was  walking  through  the  fields  one  Sunday  afternoon  with 
Lord  Houghton. 

They  came  to  a  gate,  which  he  opened,  but  to  her  astonish- 
ment proceeded  to  walk  through  it  first  himself. 

The  indignant  Duchess  haughtily  remarked  : — 

'  The  Prince  of  Wales  would  not  think  of  passing  through 
a  gate  before  me.' 

'  That  may  be  ;  but  I  represent  the  Queen,'  replied  Lord 
Houghton,  with  unruffled  imperturbability. 

Lord  Cadogan  and  Lord  Dudley  come  so  absolutely  into 
contemporary  history  that  on  them  nothing  can  here  be  said, 
except  that  their  munificence  has  rendered  it  impossible  for 
any  peer  of  moderate  private  means  to  hold  the  office. 

In  sober  truth,  however,  the  administration  of  Government 
really  rests  with  the  Chief  Secretary  in  recent  times,  although 
it  was  not  so  before  the  advent  of  Mr.  Foster.  Men  like 
Lord  Naas,  Sir  Robert  Peel  the  younger,  and  Mr.  Chichester 


lyo  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Fortescue — afterwards  Lord  Carlingford — were  mere  official 
cyphers,  but  after  Mr.  Gladstone's  1880  ministry  this  has 
never  been  the  case. 

Of  Sir  Robert  Peel  it  was  wittily  said  that  when  Chief 
Secretary  he  went  through  the  country  on  an  outside 
car,  which  made  him  take  a  one-sided  view  of  the  Irish 
question. 

Lord  Morris  said  to  an  inquiring  Scottish  M.P. : — 

'  Did  you  ever  know  a  Scottish  Secretary  who  was  not 
Scottish,  or  an  Irish  Secretary  who  was  Irish  ?  ' 

'  No,'  said  the  Scotsman. 

'  Well,  go  home  and  moralise  over  that  as  a  possible 
solution  of  some  Irish  difficulties,  for  may  be,  if  an  Irishman 
was  sent  over,  by  accident,  to  be  Chief  Secretary,  the  official 
would  not  fall  into  the  mistake  of  trying  to  reconcile  the 
irerconcilable.' 

And  to  my  mind  Lord  Morris  had  the  last  word  in  every 
sense. 

Mr.  W.  E.  Forster  was  far  too  honest  to  be  the  tool  of 
Mr.  Gladstone's  Hibernian  dishonesty.  He  was  perfectly 
fearless,  but,  beneath  his  rugged  exterior,  deeply  sensitive. 
He  winced  under  '  buckshot,'  and  many  other  epithets  ;  but 
abuse  and  danger  alike  never  prevented  him  from  doing  what 
he  had  to  do  to  the  best  of  his  ability.  His  earliest  acquaint- 
ance with  Ireland  had  been  in  the  famine,  when  he  was  one  of 
the  deputation  of  succour  organised  by  the  Society  of  Friends, 
and  everybody  who  has  read  Mr.  Morley's  Life  of  Cobden  will 
remember  the  appreciation  of  their  efforts  by  the  great  free- 
trader. 

Mr.  Forster  did  not  think  the  Irish  administration  should 
be  all  '  a  scuffle  and  a  scramble,'  and  he  inaugurated  a  reversal 
of  the  old  balance  between  Lord- Lieutenants  and  Chief  Secre- 


LORD-LIEUTENANTS— CHIEF  SECRETARIES  171 

taries  which  has  never  been  subsequently  changed.  Indeed,  it 
is  often  only  the  latter  who  has  a  seat  in  the  Cabinet.  He  was 
the  victim  of  many  misapprehensions — the  bulk  of  them 
wilful — but  one  which  worried  him  was  a  widespread  con- 
viction that  he  was  a  slow  man.  His  delivery  was  slow, 
his  manner  deliberate,  and  he  did  not  lightly  give  an  opinion. 
Yet  emphatically  he  was  not  a  slow  man,  and  as  an  instance 
may  be  stated  the  fact  that  he  elaborated  his  scheme  of 
decentralising  the  powers  of  the  Irish  Government  in  a  single 
evening  in  December  1881.  I  know  he  was  harassed,  nay, 
martyrised,  beyond  endurance,  through  the  evasive  volubility 
of  Mr.  Gladstone,  which,  both  by  mouth  and  letter,  formed  a 
heavier  burden  than  all  the  Irish  attacks  ;  but  he  was  a  just 
and  conscientious  man,  and  I  never  heard  of  a  case  where 
appeal  was  made  to  him  on  which  he  did  not  act  as  reasonably 
as  was  compatible  with  loyalty  to  such  a  Prime  Minister. 

His  courage  in  walking  unarmed  and  without  police  escort 
in  Tulla  and  Athenry  was  as  great  as  ever  was  displayed  by  a 
knight-errant  of  old.  The  Nationalist  papers,  no  longer  able 
to  taunt  him  with  cowardice,  took  to  declaring  him  to  be  a 
person  notorious  for  ferocious  brutality. 

Sir  Wemyss  Reid  said  that  in  the  House  of  Commons  his 
fellow-members  had  literally  seen  his  hair  whiten  during  those 
two  years  of  patriotic  martyrdom  in  Ireland,  and  I  always 
feel  that  the  inner  life  of  this  reticent,  commanding  statesman 
would  have  made  a  wonderful  human  document.  His  capacity, 
if  not  his  forbearance,  has  been  inherited  by  his  adopted  son, 
Mr.  Arnold  Forster,  the  present  Secretary  for  War,  who  acted 
as  his  private  secretary  in  the  latter  years  of  his  life. 

When  I  read  Lord  Rosebery's  speech  advocating  a  Cabinet 
of  business  men,  I  instinctively  thought  of  the  late  Mr.  W.  E. 
Forster,  and  it  is  his  heir  who  is  the  first  illustration  of  the 


172   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Liberal  Peer's  theory.  Since  Cromwell  cleared  out  the  House 
of  Commons,  no  one  has  done  so  much  as  Mr.  Arnold  Forster, 
for  he  upset  the  seats  of  the  mighty  in  the  War  Office  three 
months  after  he  kissed  hands.  I  wonder  how  he  would  have 
dealt  with  Parnellism  and  crime. 

Mr.  Forster's  predecessor,  Mr.  James  Lowther,  was  an 
uncommonly  capable  man,  and  gifted  with  a  fund  of  humour 
which  prevented  him  from  taking  the  Irish  too  seriously.  In 
1879  ^  heard  the  Irish  members  in  the  House  of  Commons 
vituperating  him  after  a  manner  that  subsequently  became 
unpleasantly  familiar,  but  was  then  regarded  as  a  gross  breach 
of  the  conventions  of  debate.  *  Jim  '  lay  back  on  the  Treasury 
bench  with  his  hat  over  his  eyes,  and  to  all  appearance  sound 
asleep.  Never  once  did  he  show  sign  of  hearing  their 
verbal  tornado  ;  but  eventually  he  sprang  to  his  feet,  and.  with 
infectious  gaiety  literally  chaffed  them  to  madness.  I  have 
often  thought  that  the  long-limbed  Tory  member  for  Hertford, 
who  was  then  private  secretary  to  his  uncle.  Lord  Salisbury, 
must  have  taken  note  of  the  methods  of  Mr.  Lowther  in 
dealing  with  the  Irish  party,  for  it  was  absolutely  on  the  same 
lines  that  he  subsequently  developed  that  superb  flow  of 
sarcasm  which  made  him,  Mr.  A.  J.  Balfour,  the  popular  idol 
ten  years  later. 

It  has  been  a  practice  for  many  years  to  appoint  a  man 
Chief  Secretary  for  Ireland  in  order  to  see  if  he  is  fit  for 
anything  else.  This  plan  turned  out  well  in  the  case  of  Mr. 
A.  J.  Balfour,  for  he  knew  Ireland  better  than  any  other 
Chief  Secretary,  and  when  he  came  to  know  it  properly  he 
was  removed. 

His  brother  did  as  much  harm  in  Ireland  as  Mr.  Arthur 
Balfour  did  good.  Indeed,  in  the  whole  nineteenth  century 
no  other  incompetent  Chief  Secretary  misunderstood  Ireland 


LORD-LIEUTENANTS— CHIEF  SECRETARIES  173 

with  such  complete  complacency,  and  if  it  had  not  been  for 
the  supervision  which  '  A.  J.'  undoubtedly  gave,  Mr.  Gerald 
Balfour  would  have  a  still  worse  record. 

There  was  a  poem,  not  particularly  brilliant,  which  may  be 
quoted  because  it  is  not  widely  known  : — 

'  If  I  had  a  Balfour  who  wrong  would  go, 
Do  you  think  I  'd  tolerate  him  ? — No,  no,  no  ! 
I  'd  give  him  coercion  in  Kilmainham  jail. 
And  return  him  to  Arthur,  who  'd  laugh  at  his  wail.' 

In  fact  the  impression  prevailed  that  Ireland  was  then 
sacrificed  to  the  nepotism  of  Lord  Salisbury,  who  had  inflicted 
the  least  capable  of  the  House  of  Cecil  on  the  distressful 
country. 

When  the  Duke  of  York  was  in  Ireland,  he  stayed  with 
Lord  Dunraven,  and  Mr.  Gerald  Balfour  as  Chief  Secretary 
was  one  of  the  house-party,  and  the  mother  of  the  Knight  of 
Glin  was  also  there. 

A  short  time  before,  a  chemist  from  Cork,  who  had  been 
appointed  sub-confiscator,  and  desired  to  secure  his  own 
position,  had  heavily  cut  down  the  Fitzgerald  rents. 

Mr.  Balfour,  by  way  of  making  polite  conversation, 
observed  to  Mrs.  Fitzgerald  : — 

'  I  believe  your  son's  property  has  been  a  long  time  in  the 
family.' 

'  Yes,'  she  said,  *  we  got  it  in  the  reign  of  Edward  1.,  and 
held  it  until  last  year,  when  the  Government  sent  an  apothecary 
from  Cork  to  rob  us  of  it.' 

The  conversation  dropped. 

Mr.  Arthur  Balfour  was  very  plucky,  not  only  personally, 
but  in  his  legislative  efforts,  and  he  did  wonders  for  Ireland — 
the  light  railways  relieving  numbers  from  starvation,  and 
opening  up  the  country. 


174  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

An  English  journalist  went  down  to  the  West,  and  tried  to 
make  inquiries  about  the  popularity  of  the  Chief  Secretary. 

He  came  to  the  cabin  of  a  man  who  had  been  rescued 
from  starvation  by  getting  Government  employment,  and  had 
thrived  so  well  that  he  had  become  possessed  of  a  pig. 

This  pig,  on  the  appearance  of  the  Englishman,  escaped 
into  a  potato-field,  and  he  heard  the  woman  of  the  house  shout 
to  her  son  : — 

'  Mickey,  look  sharp  and  turn  out  Arthur  Balfour  before 
he  does  any  mischief.' 

The  name  of  the  pig  showed  the  gratitude  of  the  family. 

When  alluding  to  Mr.  Lowther  I  omitted  to  mention  that 
he  was  always  of  opinion  that  a  well-planned  scheme  of  educa- 
tion was  the  best  panacea  for  the  Irish  troubles,  and  it  certainly 
would  have  brought  up  a  generation  less  keenly  sensitive  to 
the  exaggerated  wrongs  of  the  country  to  which  both  sexes 
are  so  frantically  attached.  During  his  not  very  lengthy 
tenure  of  the  office  of  Chief  Secretary  it  was  asserted  that  Sir 
George  Trevelyan  also  had  some  such  idea  ;  but  whether  he 
went  so  far  as  to  draft  his  plan,  and  it  was  consigned  to  some 
forgotten  pigeon-hole  by  Mr.  Gladstone,  I  cannot  say. 

When  the  Duke  of  Argyll  described  Sir  George  Trevelyan 
as  a  jelly-fish,  he  made  a  comparison  which,  from  my  personal 
experience,  I  should  call  particularly  apt. 

Ireland  had  very  little  use  for  such  a  flabby  politician,  and 
it  may  be  added,  he  had  very  little  use  for  Ireland. 

He  was  in  such  a  devil  of  a  fright  at  being  forced  to 
succeed  poor  Lord  Frederick  Cavendish  that  it  was  some  time 
before  the  pressure  put  upon  him  sufficed  to  make  him  accept 
office,  nor  would  he  be  induced  to  go  over  to  Dublin  Castle 
at  all  until  he  had  been  given  Cabinet  rank.  As  for  the 
Cabinet,  they  were  so  anxious  to  settle  upon  a  living  target  for 


LORD-LIEUTENANTS— CHIEF  SECRETARIES    175 

the  Home  Rulers  to  practise  upon,  and  so  afraid  that  through 
his  default  one  of  themselves  might  have  to  undertake  the 
unpleasant  office,  that  they  would  have  given  the  prospective 
victim  almost  anything  he  liked,  on  the  principle  of  letting  the 
condemned  criminal  choose  what  he  prefers  for  his  final  meal 
before  that  brief  interview  with  the  hangman. 

Directly  after  the  formation  of  the  following  Radical 
Government,  I  met  an  Englishman  of  considerable  political 
importance  in  Pall  Mall,  and  he  observed : — 

*  The  new  Cabinet  is  quarrelling  among  themselves.' 

*  Who  are  fighting  ? '  I  asked. 

'  Chamberlain  and  Trevelyan,'  he  replied. 
'  What  about .?  ' 

*  Chamberlain  says  that  he  brought  the  party  back  into 
office,  and  he  wants  the  Colonial  Office ;  but  Gladstone 
insists  on  his  being  content  with  the  Local  Government 
Board.  Trevelyan  says  that,  as  he  has  for  years  had 
experience  in  naval  affairs,  he  ought  to  be  made  First  Lord. 
But  Gladstone,  though  he  cannot  prevail  on  him  to  be  Chief 
Secretary,  has  sent  him  to  the  India  Office.' 

*  And  may  give  him  free  lodgings  in  Kilmainham  if  he  is 
refractory,'  I  chimed  in.  *  And  so  these  two  are  like  pigs 
with  their  bristles  hurt,  poor  things.     There  's  a  pity.' 

Some  time  later,  when  I  heard  Messrs.  Chamberlain  and 
Trevelyan  were  so  disgusted  with  the  Home  Rule  Bill  that 
they  were  leaving  the  Government,  says  I  to  myself,  *  I  wonder 
if  Mr.  Gladstone  in  his  own  heart  thinks  if  he  had  gratified 
their  wishes  about  office  he  could  have  retained  them.' 

But  as  a  matter  of  fact  both  are  patriots  far  above  such 
demeaning  insinuations. 

Mr.  John  Morley  was  a  very  well-meaning  Chief  Secretary, 
but  a  very  misguided  man. 


176   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

In  a  conversation  with  me,  Mr.  Morley  observed  that, 
owing  to  the  agitation,  he  saw  no  alternative  but  to  make 
Parnell  Chief  Secretary. 

I  said  that  would  be  no  use,  for  if  he  attempted  to  do  his 
duty  he  would  be  shot,  even  more  readily  than  I  should. 

Mr.  Morley  retorted  : — 

'  He  is  the  leader  of  the  Irish  nation.' 

'  I  admit  it,'  I  replied,  '  and  he  is  the  only  man  you  can 
make  terms  with.' 

'  How  ^ '  says  he. 

*  You  had  better  ask  him,'  says  I,  '  to  nominate  some 
foreign  potentate  to  appoint  commissioners  who  will  say  to 
Mr.  Parnell,  "  Let  Ireland  pay  her  share  of  the  national  debt 
and  buy  out  every  loyal  person  who  wishes  to  leave  the 
country,"  and  then,  if  Mr.  Parnell  says,  "  We  are  not  able  to 
do  that,"  let  them  retort,  "We  will  then  disfranchise  you, 
for  this  humbug  has  been  going  on  long  enough."  ' 

'That's  about  it,  according  to  your  lights,'  replied  Mr. 
Morley. 

Was  I  not  right  ^ 

It  is  a  singular  fact  that  Ulster  and  Alsace-Lorraine  have 
about  the  same  acreage — 5,322,334  to  3,586,560 — and  about 
the  same  population — 1,581,357  to  1,719,470.  The  French 
and  Germans  are  each  willing  to  spend  a  hundred  millions  of 
money  and  half  a  million  lives,  the  one  to  recover,  the  other 
to  retain,  the  province,  and  yet  Mr.  Gladstone  proposed,  not 
only  to  abandon  Ulster,  but  to  put  it  under  the  rule  of  the 
people  the  Ulsterites  hate  most  on  earth. 

It  is  also  remarkable  that  at  the  time  of  the  Union  the 
population  of  Belfast  was  35,000,  and  Dublin  250,000.  Now 
Belfast  is  335,000,  while  Dublin  remains  at  a  quarter  of  a 
million.     Belfast,  in  point  of  customs,  is  the  third  largest  city 


LORD-LIEUTENANTS— CHIEF  SECRETARIES  177 

in    the    British  dominions,    coming    next    after    London    and 
Liverpool,  whilst  it  is  the  finest  shipbuilding  town  in  the  world. 

Yet  its  inhabitants  were  to  be  sold  as  though  they  were 
African  slaves,  for  the  sole  purpose  of  getting  votes  for  the 
Liberal  Government. 

I  was  one  day  invited  by  Froude  to  come  to  his  home 
to  argue  out  the  Irish  question  with  Mr.  Jacob  Bright  and 
Mr.  John  Morley. 

I  counted  on  having  Mr.  Froude  on  my  side,  knowing  his 
strong  views,  but  as  host  he  would  not  interfere.  However, 
Miss  Cobbe  was  there,  and  to  my  mind  was  equal  to  any  of 
the  company.  With  her  on  my  side,  I  flatter  myself  we  were 
too  many  for  the  others  ;  but  the  worst  of  all  arguments  is 
that  the  arguing  rarely  serves  any  purpose  except  to  make 
either  party  more  obstinate. 

I  knew  John  Bright  very  well. 

He  was  far  and  away  the  most  honest  man  of  all  the 
Liberal  party,  and  he  fully  realised  the  fact  that  a  visible 
concentration  of  property  and  universal  suffrage  could  not 
exist  together.  He  was  therefore  anxious  to  enlarge  the 
number  of  proprietors,  but  he  did  not  countenance  it  being 
done  entirely  at  the  expense  of  the  English  Government 
without  the  tenants  having  to  find  such  a  sum  of  money  out 
of  their  own  pockets  as  would  give  them  an  interest  in 
paying  off  the  Government  charges. 

He  was  a  very  broad-minded  man,  with  a  simplicity  of 
character  which  was  admirable.  I  liked  him  much,  and  my 
one  complaint  against  him  was  that  he  would  never  accept 
my  invitations  to  come  and  pay  me  a  visit  in  Kerry. 

I  never  heard  him  make  a  speech,  but  with  his  beautiful  voice 
it  was  a  great  treat  to  hear  him  read  Milton.  On  one  occasion 
he  took  me  to  the  House  specially  to  see  Mr.  Gladstone,  but 

M 


1 78   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

after  nearly  an  hour  he  had  reluctantly  to  tell  me  that  the 
Prime  Minister  could  not  find  leisure  for  our  conversation 
that  day  owing  to  pressure  of  business,  and  another  opportunity 
never  came. 

Although  I  regret  not  having  met  Mr.  Gladstone,  I  yet 
feel  glad  that  I  never  shook  him  by  the  hand,  I  may  here 
mention  that  I  never  met  Mr.  Parnell,  though  I  have  seen  him 
in  the  House. 

From  my  point  of  view  Mr,  John  Morley  has  a  dual 
existence.  As  man  and  as  historian  he  is  Jekyl,  but  as 
politician  he  is  Hyde. 

There  is  a  well-known  story  about  him,  so  familiar  to  some 
of  us  that  it  is  possibly  forgotten  in  England,  wherefore  I 
venture  to  relate  it  once  more. 

He  was  on  a  car,  and  asked  the  driver : — 

'  Well,  Pat,  you  '11  be  having  great  times  when  you  get 
Home  Rule  ^ ' 

'  We  will,  your  honour — for  a  week,'  replied  the  man. 

'  Why  only  a  week  .'' '  inquired  the  politician. 

*  Driving  the  quality  to  the  steamers.' 


CHAPTER    XVI 

GLADSTONIAN     LEGISLATION 

Although  the  exact  measure  of  my  appreciation  of  the  Irish 
policy  of  the  most  dangerous  Englishman  of  the  nineteenth 
century  has  already  been  clearly  indicated  by  casual  remarks 
in  previous  chapters,  that  will  not  absolve  me  from  duly 
setting  forth  some  sketch  of  the  inestimable  amount  of  evil 
which  resulted  from  the  interest  he  unfortunately  took  in 
my  unhappy  land. 

If  Napoleon  was  the  scourge  of  Europe,  Mr.  Gladstone 
was  the  most  malevolent  imp  of  mischief  that  ever  ruined 
any  one  country,  and  I  am  heartily  grieved  that  that  country 
should  have  been  mine. 

It  is  so  difficult  to  get  English  people  to  take  any  interest 
in  Irish  topics  that  I  fully  expect  this  chapter  will  be  skipped 
by  most  of  my  readers  east  of  Dublin.  Yet  if  any  will  read 
these  few  pages,  they  will  get  as  clear  a  view  of  the  harm 
one  man  can  do  a  whole  land  as  by  wading  through  hundreds 
of  volumes,  for  I  am  giving  them  the  concentrated  knowledge 
I  have  accumulated  by  years  devoted  to  profound  study  of  the 
subject. 

The  course  of  history  may  be  taken  up  almost  on  the 
morrow  of  the  famine,  for  potatoes  began  to  be  a  scarce 
crop  again  in  1850,  yet  the  country  was  improving  rapidly, 
and  the  relations  between  landlord  and  tenant  were  as  cordial 
as  in  any  part  of  the  world. 

179 


i8o  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

So  they  continued  in  absolute  amity  until  what  is  virtually 
universal  suffrage  was  introduced  and  the  ignoramus  became 
the  tool  of  every  political  knave. 

Mr.  Gladstone  stated  that  he  brought  in  the  Irish  Church 
Act  to  pacify  the  country  in  1868,  when  the  land  was  as 
peaceful  as  English  pastures  on  a  Sunday  evening.  He  must 
really  have  done  so  to  propitiate  English  dissenters,  for  no  one 
in  Ireland  appeared  to  want  it. 

By  this  Act  a  resident  gentleman  was  taken  away  from 
every  parish  in  Ireland,  whereby  the  evils  of  absentee  land- 
lordism were  gravely  enhanced. 

Mr.  Gladstone  called  it  an  act  of  sublime  justice  from 
England  to  Ireland.  Previously,  in  virtue  of  ancient  treaties 
commencing  as  far  back  as  the  reigns  of  William  and  Mary, 
the  English  Government  was  giving  Presbyterians  a  grant 
— called  Regium  Donum — of  ^^70,000  a  year,  and  by  a  more 
recent  arrangement  was  giving  Maynooth  a  grant  of  ;^24,ooo, 
but  that  Whig  Government  actually  paid  them  off  out  of  the 
spoils  of  the  Irish  Church,  thereby  saving  the  British  Exchequer 
j{|  94,000  a  year. 

And  if  this  be  an  act  of  justice,  then  Aristides  can  be 
classed  among  hypocritical  swindlers. 

It  must  be  borne  in  mind  that  when  William  Pitt  caused 
the  Act  of  Union  to  be  passed  in  Parliament,  the  union  of 
the  Churches  was  a  fundamental  feature,  and  this,  indeed, 
was  the  main  inducement  held  out  to  Protestants  to  promote 
the  Union. 

Surely  it  cannot  be  held  to  be  a  valid  Union  when  the 
principal  consideration  in  it  is  set  aside,  to  say  nothing  of 
increasing  the  taxation  by  two  million  sterling  a  year  more 
than  was  ever  contemplated  by  the  Act.  This  was  clearly 
borne    out    by    a    Royal    Commission    composed    mostly    of 


GLADSTONIAN  LEGISLATION  i8i 

Englishmen  and  presided  over  by  Mr.  Childers,  an  earnest 
politician  and  an  ex-Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer. 

The  Catholic  priests  who  expected  that  their  Church  would 
be  established  were  disappointed,  while  the  landlords,  who  were 
generally  Protestants,  had  henceforth  to  support  their  clergy 
and  at  the  same  time  to  pay  tithes  to  the  State. 

As  Irish  taxation  increased  50  per  cent,  while  that  of 
England  only  increased  18  per  cent,,  the  Irish  people  did  not 
find  Mr.  Gladstone's  Act  soothing  or  profitable. 

His  next  perpetration  was  the  Land  Act  of  1870,  whereby 
he  provided  that  no  landlord  could  turn  out  his  tenant  without 
paying  him  for  all  his  improvements  (even  if  these  had  been 
done  without  the  knowledge  or  sanction  of  the  landlord)  and 
giving  the  tenant  a  compensation  in  money  equal  to  about 
one-fourth  of  the  fee-simple. 

This  Act  might  have  been  all  right  in  principle,  but  it 
was  useless  in  practice,  and  the  compensation  made  to  the 
County  Court  Judge  for  adjudicature  came  to  far  more  than 
the  amount  awarded. 

This  is  easily  accounted  for,  thus  : — 

You  might  as  well  bring  in  an  Act  of  Parliament  to  prevent 
people  cutting  off  their  own  noses. 

No  sane  person  does  such  a  thing,  and  no  landlord  ever 
turned  out  an  improving  tenant. 

But  the  Irish  tenants,  having  almost  the  sole  representation 
of  the  country  in  their  hands,  returned  a  body  of  representa- 
tives pledged  to  the  confiscation  of  landed  property ;  and  in 
order  to  keep  his  party  in  power  by  securing  their  votes, 
Mr.  Gladstone  brought  in  the  Land  Act  of  1 8  8 1 . 

I  heard  him  introduce  the  motion  in  the  House  of 
Commons,  and  his  speech  was  a  truly  marvellous  feat  of 
oratory.     He  was  interrupted  on  all  sides  of  the  House,  and 


i82  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

In  a  speech  of  nearly  five  hours  in  length  never  once  lost  the 
thread  of  his  discourse. 

As  far  as  I  could  judge,  he  never  even  by  accident  let  slip 
one  word  of  truth. 

When  the  Act  passed,  Mr.  Gladstone  anticipated  that 
eight  sub-commissioners  would  do  the  work.  This  number 
very  soon  ran  up  to  one  hundred  sub-commissioners  and 
more  than  twenty  County  Court  valuers. 

The  result  is  that  every  tenant  has  been  running  down  his 
land  and  letting  it  go  out  of  cultivation,  for  the  tenants  know 
the  commissioners  value  the  ground  as  they  find  it,  and  a 
premium  is  thus,  of  course,  put  on  neglecting  the  soil. 

To  show  the  system  on  which  the  valuation  was  done, 
many  cases  have  been  known  of  the  commissioners  arriving 
to  value  a  property  after  three  o'clock  on  a  December 
afternoon. 

It  is  a  positive  fact  that  there  are  professional  experts  who 
obtain  substantial  fees  for  showing  tenants  the  speediest 
methods  of  damaging  their  own  land. 

All  the  same  I  cannot  help  thinking  their  services  are 
a  matter  of  supererogation,  for  a  recalcitrant  Irish  tenant 
in  the  South  and  West  needs  instruction  in  no  branch  of 
villainy. 

On  one  of  Lord  Kenmare's  estates,  I  executed  drainage 
works  costing  over  £100.  These  were  dependent  upon 
sluices  to  keep  out  the  tide  at  high  water.  A  few  days 
before  the  land  was  to  be  inspected,  the  tenants  put  bushes 
in  the  sluices,  let  the  tide  in  and  flooded  the  whole  land. 

And  then  a  prating,  mendacious  local  schoolmaster  began 
comparing  these  villains  to  the  patriotic  Dutch  who  flooded 
their  land  rather  than  permit  it  to  be  conquered  by  the 
national  foe. 


GLADSTONIAN  LEGISLATION  183 

I  could  give  scores  of  such  instances  of  wilful  destruction 
of  property  for  the  purpose  of  obtaining  a  reduction. 

Here  is  one. 

A  tenant  near  Blarney,  in  County  Cork,  was  seen  to  be 
ploughing  up  a  valuable  water  meadow. 

When  asked  by  a  gentleman  why  he  was  injuring  his  land, 
he  replied  without  hesitation  that  he  was  going  to  get  his  rent 
fixed,  and  immediately  afterwards  he  should  lay  it  down  again 
as  a  water  meadow. 

It  is  scarcely  credible  how  great  was  the  amount  of 
perjury  that  this  Act  brought  into  the  country. 

A  tenant  on  a  property  to  which  I  was  agent,  whose  rent 
was  ;^6  a  year,  swore  he  expended  ^^395  on  improvements  and 
all  that  it  was  worth  afterwards  was  ^4,  los.  He  received 
the  implicit  credit  of  the  court. 

According  to  the  laws  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church 
perjury  in  a  court  of  justice  is  a  reserved  sin  for  which 
absolution  can  only  be  given  by  a  bishop  or  by  priests 
specially  appointed  for  that  purpose. 

One  priest  applied  to  the  bishop  for  plenary  powers,  and 
said  the  bishop  to  him  : — 

'  Are  the  people  so  generally  bad  in  your  parish  ? ' 

'  It 's  the  fault  of  the  laws,  my  lord,'  replied  the 
priest. 

'  What  laws  ^ '  asked  the  bishop. 

'  Firstly,  under  the  Crimes  Act,  my  poor  people  have  to 
swear  they  do  not  know  the  moonlighters  that  come  to  the 
house,  or  they  would  be  murdered. 

'  Secondly,  under  the  Arrears  Act,  they  have  to  swear  they 
are  worth  nothing  in  the  world  or  they  would  not  get  the 
Government  money. 

*  Thirdly,  under  the  Land  Act,  while  they  have  to  swear 


1 84  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

up  their  own  improvements,  they  must  also  swear  down  the 
value  of  the  land,  or  they  will  get  no  reductions. 

'  So  you  see,  my  lord,  the  sin  lies  at  the  door  of  those 
who  made  the  infamous  laws  which  lead  weak  sinners  into 
temptation  they  cannot  be  expected  to  overcome.' 

The  bishop  said  nothing,  but  he  gave  the  priest  all  the 
powers  he  desired. 

I  myself  heard  this  story  from  a  parish  priest  who  was 
present,  and  as  I  hav^e  several  times  told  it  to  different  people, 
it  may  have  found  its  way  into  print,  though  I  have  no 
recollection  of  ever  seeing  it  in  black  and  white. 

Allusion  having  just  been  made  to  the  Arrears  Act,  it  may 
be  here  opportune  to  point  out  that  this  was  the  next  step 
in  Mr.  Gladstone's  long  sequence  of  Irish  mismanagement. 
This  iniquitous  measure  provided  that  no  matter  how  great 
the  arrears  owed  by  the  tenant,  by  lodging  one  year's  rent 
another  could  be  obtained  from  the  Government,  and  the  land- 
lord was  compelled  to  wipe  out  the  balance.  So  that  if  Jack, 
Tom,  and  James  were  all  tenants  on  town  land,  should  Jack  be 
an  honest  man  he  obtained  no  redress,  whereas  if  Tom  and 
James  were  hardened  defaulters  they  obtained  the  complete 
settlement  of  all  their  arrears. 

To  obtain  the  grant  of  a  year's  rent  from  Government, 
the  tenant  had  to  swear  as  to  his  assets  and  also  as  to  the 
selling  value  of  his  farm. 

Here  is  an  illustration  which  came  under  my  own 
observation. 

A  tenant  named  Richard  Sweeney,  whose  rent  was  ^48 
a  year,  owed  three  years'  rent.  He  paid  one  year,  the  Govern- 
ment provided  another,  and  the  landlord  had  to  forgive  the 
third. 

To    obtain    this    result,    Sweeney    swore    that    the  selling 


GLADSTONIAN  LEGISLATION  185 

value  of  his  farm  was  nil,  and  he  received  a  receipt  in 
full. 

A  few  weeks  later  he  served  me — as  agent  for  the  landlord 
— with  notice  that  he  had  sold  his  interest  in  the  property 
for  £630. 

That  is  not  the  end  of  my  story. 

The  purchaser  was  a  man  named  Murphy,  and  a  very 
few  years  afterwards,  upon  the  ground  that  the  rent  was 
too  dear,  he  took  the  farm  for  which  he  had  paid  ^^630 
to  Sweeney  into  the  Land  Courts  and  got  the  rent  reduced 

The  absurdity  of  this  system  was  well  brought  out  before 
the  Fry  Commission,  when  one  high-commissioner  and  a  sub- 
commissioner  both  said  that  in  valuing  the  land  they  took 
into  consideration  the  tenant's  occupation  interest. 

The  reader  will  see  the  way  this  works  out,  if  he  will 
accept  the  very  simple  hypothetical  case  of  two  tenants  holding 
land  to  the  worth  of  £^0  each,  and  one  of  them  only 
paying  £^o  a  year  rent.  When  they  both  took  their  cases 
into  the  Land  Court,  the  man  paying  the  lower  rent  of 
;^20  would  obtain  the  larger  reduction,  because  he  had  the 
greater  occupation. 

These  facts  will  show  that  a  Purchase  Bill  was  an  absolute 
necessity.  Lord  DufFerin  truly  remarked  that  landlord  and 
tenant  were  both  in  the  same  bed,  and  Mr.  Gladstone  thought 
to  settle  their  disputes  by  giving  the  tenant  a  larger  share  than 
he  had  ever  had  before.  But  the  tenant  considered  that  as  he 
had  obtained  that  concession  by  fraud  and  violence,  if  he  could 
only  give  one  effective  kick  more,  he  would  put  the  landlord 
on  the  floor  for  the  rest  of  the  term  of  their  national  life. 

When  introducing  the  Land  Act  of  1870,  Mr.  Gladstone 
proved  himself  if  not  an  Irish  statesman,  an  admirable  prophet, 


1 86  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

for  he  denounced  in  anticipation  exactly  what  the  effect  of  the 
Land  Act  of  1 8  8 1  would  be. 

In  1 8  70,  he  prospectively  criticised  such  an  institution 
as  the  Land  Court,  which  in  1881  he  proposed,  with  its  power 
to  give  a  'judicial  rent.' 

*  But  it  is  suggested  we  should  establish,  permanently  and 
positively,  a  power  in  the  hands  of  the  State  to  reduce 
excessive  rents.  Now  I  should  like  to  hear  a  careful  argu- 
ment in  support  of  that  plan.  I  wish  at  all  events  to  retain 
at  all  times  a  judicial  habit  of  not  condemning  a  thing  utterly 
until  I  have  heard  what  is  to  be  said  for  it  ;  but  I  own  I 
have  not  heard,  I  do  not  know,  and  I  cannot  conceive,  what 
is  to  be  said  for  the  prospective  power  to  reduce  excessive 
rents.  If  I  could  conceive  a  plan  more  calculated  than  every- 
thing else,  first  of  all,  for  throwing  into  confusion  the  whole 
economical  arrangements  of  the  country ;  secondly,  for  driving 
out  of  the  field  all  solvent  and  honest  men  who  might  be 
bidders  for  farms  ;  thirdly,  for  carrying  widespread  demoral- 
isation throughout  the  whole  mass  of  the  Irish  people,  I  must 
say  it  is  this  plan.' 

And  again  : — 

'  We  are  not  ready  to  accede  to  a  principle  of  legislation 
by  which  the  State  shall  take  into  its  own  hands  the  valuation 
of  rent  throughout  Ireland.  I  say,  "  take  into  its  own  hands  " 
because  it  is  perfectly  immaterial  whether  the  thing  shall  be 
done  by  a  State  officer  forming  part  of  the  Civil  Service,  or 
by  an  arbitration  acting  under  State  authority,  or  by  any 
other  person  invested  by  the  law  with  power  to  determine 
on  what  terms  as  to  rent  every  holding  in  Ireland  shall  be 
held.' 

This  categorical  denunciation  of  the  principle  which  he 
was  then  asked,  and  which  he  peremptorily  refused  to  sanction, 


GLADSTONIAN  LEGISLATION  187 

was  not  enough  for  Mr,  Gladstone,  for  the  records  of  debate 
show  he  went  farther,  but  enough  has  been  cited  to  show  that 
never  was  prophecy  more  fully  fulfilled.  Outrage  followed 
outrage  with  a  rapidity  unequalled  in  Europe,  and  that  in  a 
country  which  previous  to  his  remedial  measures  had  practi- 
cally been  unstained  by  an  agrarian  outrage  for  fifty  years. 

It  would  certainly  be  both  remiss  of  me,  and  altogether 
below  the  character  which  I  trust  I  have  acquired  for  honest 
plain  speaking,  if  I  omitted  to  give  my  views  upon  Mr, 
Wyndham's  Act,  for  those  readers  who  regard  my  book  as 
something  more  than  a  storehouse  of  anecdotes — and  since 
it  is  written  at  all,  I  maintain  it  claims  to  be  more  than  that — 
having  noticed  the  freedom  with  which  I  have  spoken  of 
previous  English  legislation  for  Ireland,  may  very  naturally 
think  I  should  be  begging  the  question  of  the  hour,  if  I 
did  not  offer  a  few  observations  on  the  latest  development  of 
the  Irish  question, 

I  must  emphatically  repeat  what  I  have  already  asserted  : — 
that  the  Acts  of  Mr,  Gladstone  rendered  a  Purchase  Bill 
inevitable,  and  it  fell  to  Mr.  Wyndham's  lot  to  formulate 
the  scheme  which  has  now  become  law. 

Mr.  Wyndham's  Act  is  a  great  one  for  Ireland,  because 
where  a  tenant  previously  paid  ^^loo  a  year  rent,  all  he  will 
have  to  pay — even  at  twenty-four  years'  purchase  —  is  ^^80 
a  year,  and  at  that  rate  with  the  bonus  the  landlord  obtains 
twenty-seven  years'  purchase.  But  this  scale  is  a  little  halcyon 
in  most  instances. 

It  should  prove  a  boon  to  the  country,  and  it  is  the 
necessary  outcome  of  the  Land  Act  of  1881,  by  which  rents 
were  cut  down  by  commissioners,  whose  means  of  living 
depended  on  the  reductions  they  made. 

And  to  make  this   state  of  things  yet  more  remarkable, 


1 88  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

there  were  two  courts  established  for  fixing  rates.  The  one 
consisted  of  sub-commissioners,  who  were  paid  by  the  year, 
and  the  other  was  that  of  the  County  Court  judge,  who  was 
wholly  dependent  on  a  valuer  paid  by  the  day. 

So,  whoever  cut  down  the  most  earned  the  most. 

A  valuer  in  Limerick  was  remonstrated  with  for  cutting 
down  local  rents  so  low,  and  he  replied  : — 

'  It  is  all  for  the  good  of  trade,  for  it  will  bring  every 
tenant  into  the  Court.' 

And  so  it  actually  did,  for  that  Court  very  shortly  after- 
wards was  chock  full  of  cases. 

My  own  opinion  is  that  the  Wyndham  Act  would  have 
been  far  more  beneficial,  if  the  Government  had  given  the 
tenant  a  free  grant  of  some  of  the  purchase  money,  and  insisted 
on  his  finding  some  more  of  it  himself,  whereby  would  have 
been  created  a  deeper  interest  in  his  land  than  is  now  inspired 
in  his  breast  by  the  mere  transference  of  his  lease  from  his 
old  landlord  to  the  Government. 

I  made  this  remark  to  an  Englishman  at  the  Carlton 
Club,  and  he  said  to  me  that,  according  to  his  view,  England 
should  lend  whatever  money  was  wanted  but  give  no  free 
grant. 

I  replied  : — 

'  A  poor  man  from  Kerry  came  to  my  house  in  London, 
and  asked  for  the  loan  of  a  pound.  I  declined  to  lend  him 
the  sovereign,  but  I  did  lend  him  half  a  crown,  and  as  he 
bolted  to  America  the  very  next  day,  I  think  I  had  the  best  of 
the  bargain.' 

My  friend  accepted  the  analogy  and  dropped  the  subject. 

That  was  far  more  tactful  on  his  part  than  the  conduct 
of  the  English  Government,  for  the  different  Acts  of  Parlia- 
ment relating  to  Ireland  have  had  the  effect  of  rendering  the 


GLADSTONIAN  LEGISLATION  189 

feelings  between  landlord  and  tenant  much  worse  than  they 
were  before. 

And  the  Act  of  1 881,  which  provided  that  landlord  and 
tenant  should  have  a  lawsuit  every  fifteen  years,  brought  the 
feeling  up  to  boiling  pitch. 

Now  the  Government  inherits  all  this  hatred  by  proposing 
to  be  the  sole  landlord  in  Ireland.  Therefore,  England  is 
reaping  the  whirlwind  where  Mr.  Gladstone  sowed  the  wind. 

This  does  not  appear  to  me  to  be  sound  statesmanship. 
An  open  hatred  of  the  Government  has  been  instilled  into 
the  brain  of  thousands  of  Irish  children  side  by  side  with 
a  more  hypocritical  hatred  of  the  landlord.  Now  that  these 
two  are  to  be  combined  in  one  passion,  and  that  directed 
against  the  receiver  of  rent,  matters  do  not  present  a  promising 
outlook. 

If  the  Government  sell  up  those  tenants  who  do  not  pay 
rent  in  years  to  come,  no  Irish  occupiers  of  the  property  will 
be  obtainable. 

If  English  tenants  be  imported,  the  latter  had  better 
insist  on  coats  of  mail  for  themselves,  and  on  life  insurance 
policies  in  favour  of  the  nearest  relatives  they  leave  behind  in 
England. 

That  reminds  me  of  a  story. 

Sir  Denis  Fitzpatrick  and  his  daughter  were  making  a  tour 
of  the  Kerry  fjords  some  years  ago,  and  the  lady  asked  a 
boatman  on  Caragh  Lake,  what  would  happen  to  a  tenant 
who  took  an  evicted  farm. 

The  reply  was  : — 

'  I  don't  think  he  'd  do  it  again,  Miss,  leastways  it 's  in 
the  next  world  alone  he  'd  have  the  chance  of  making  such  a 
fool  of  himself.' 

This  may  be  commended  to  any  unsophisticated  English 


I90  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

who  contemplate  Hibernian  immigration  as  a  prospective 
way  of  cheaply  obtaining  that  once  popular  bait  of  Mr.  Jesse 
Collins,  three  acres  and  a  cow. 

Here  is  another  aspect  of  not  paying  rent  to  Government, 
which  would  occur  to  no  one  unacquainted  with  Ireland,  but 
is  quite  characteristic  : — 

Suppose  twenty  men  were  tenants  on  a  townland  ;  one 
would  pay,  and  the  other  nineteen  after  being  evicted  would 
also  squat  down  on  his  patch.  Unless  caretakers  at  a  cost 
of  about  three  times  the  rent  were  put  in  under  excessive 
police  protection,  all  the  nineteen  farms  would  promptly 
become  derelict. 

It  would  have  been  far  better  if  the  Government  had 
given  a  free  grant  of  one  quarter  of  the  purchase  money,  had 
compelled  the  tenant  to  himself  find  another  quarter,  and  had 
lent  the  remaining  half  for  a  comparatively  short  term,  say 
twenty-five  years. 

Then  the  tenant  would  have  had  genuine  interest  in  the 
redemption  of  his  own  property. 

But,  asks  the  English  tourist  impressed  by  the  apparent 
beggarliness  of  all  he  sees,  how  could  the  tenant  procure  a 
quarter  of  the  money  ? 

Naturally  it  would  be  alleged  by  the  agitators  that  he 
could  not.  All  the  same  you  may  confidently  contradict  any 
such  denial  as  that. 

It  is  clear  that  almost  any  tenant  could  get  the  money,  if 
you  bear  in  mind  that  though  rents  are  so  reduced,  the  most 
unimproving  tenant  can  get  from  ten  to  twenty  years'  purchase 
for  the  good-will  of  his  farm. 

Of  course,  just  now  the  old  order  is  changing  considerably 
in  Ireland,  but  the  loss  of  their  old  landlords  is  not  appreciated 
by  the  better  class  of  tenants,  though  the  good  have  of  course 


GLADSTONIAN  LEGISLATION  191 

to  suffer  for  the  bad — a  thing  even  better  known  in  my  country 
than  elsewhere.  I  heard  an  interesting  confirmation  of  this 
from  a  lady  of  my  acquaintance,  who  having  asked  a  respectable 
woman  what  had  become  of  her  son,  received  the  reply  : — 

'  Ah,  for  sure,  he  has  got  a  situation  with  a  farmer.' 

'  Well,  that 's  a  good  start  in  life,  is  it  not  ^ '  asked  my 
friend,  to  which  the  woman  retorted  in  melancholy  accents  : — 

*  That  may  be,  but  my  family  have  always  been  rared 
(i.e.  reared)  on  the  gentry  until  now,'  thereby  expressing  a 
feeling  very  prevalent  in  Ireland  to-day. 

The  Home  Rulers  allege  that  these  high  prices  which  are 
paid  for  the  good-will  of  land  are  attributable  to  two  causes  : — 

(a)  Excess  of  competition  for  land. 

(^)  Irish  returning  from  America. 

Both  these  reasons  are  absurd. 

When  the  population  of  Ireland  was  nearly  eight  millions, 
these  prices  could  not  be  obtainable,  nor  anything  like  them, 
while  to-day  the  population  is  only  four  millions.  Unless  the 
returning  emigrants  thought  they  were  obtaining  good  value 
for  their  money,  they  would  hardly  abandon  a  country — the 
United  States — where  they  can  get  land  for  nothing. 

The  enormous  increase  in  the  Irish  Savings  Banks,  as  well 
as  the  deposits  in  other  Irish  Banks,  must  be  almost  entirely 
derived  from  the  savings  of  the  farmers.  The  landlords  have 
been  ruined  by  the  Land  Act ;  labourers  have  no  money  to 
spare  ;  and  traders  will  not  leave  their  money  idle  at  the  small 
rate  of  interest  credited. 

If  the  farmers  thought  they  had  better  means  of  using  the 
money,  they  would  withdraw  it,  and  they  are  without  doubt  as 
well  aware  as  I  am  how  they  can  do  the  English  Government 
in  the  future,  for  if  there  is  any  roguery  unknown  to  them,  it 
is  infinitesimal. 


192   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

I  cannot  say  that  I  think  many  landlords  will  leave  Ireland 
in  consequence  of  the  Wyndham  Act.  The  few  who  will  go 
are  those  who  are  glad  to  be  quit  at  any  price,  and  to  be  free 
to  pack  out  of  the  country.  But  many  a  landlord  will  be  far 
more  comfortable  on  his  own  estate,  when  he  has  rid  himself 
of  all  his  tenants. 

One  feature  of  this  curious  Act  is  that  the  Geraldines 
have  got  rid  of  the  last  of  their  property,  and  escaped  all  the 
forfeitures. 

As  for  the  sporting  rights,  far  too  much  fuss  has  been 
made  over  them.  Except  where  there  are  plantations  or  good 
fishing,  they  are  of  very  little  value  one  way  or  the  other. 
The  Act  will  not  affect  the  hunting.  Small  Irish  farmers 
like  to  see  the  hunt  almost  as  much  as  the  hunting  set  them- 
selves like  to  participate  in  it. 

Of  course,  too,  the  Act  ought  to  be  popular  in  Ireland, 
because  it  is  taking  so  much  money  out  of  England, 

A  point  I  wish  to  emphasise  is  one  about  which  there  has 
been  a  great  deal  of  misconception. 

A  considerable  amount  of  capital  has  been  made  out  of 
the  depreciation  of  agricultural  produce  in  Ireland  as  compared 
with  England.  But  Ireland  is  a  stock-producing  country  and 
not  an  agricultural  country  in  the  strict  sense,  for  the  cultiva- 
tion of  wheat  in  Ireland  has  long  since  ceased  to  exist.  The 
true  relation  may  be  seen  in  the  fact  that  in  England  the 
difficulty  of  getting  store-cattle  was  a  loss  to  farmers,  whereas 
it  has  been  a  decided  gain  to  farmers  in  Ireland — though  they 
are  not  best  pleased  when  you  impress  the  fact  on  them. 

Mr.   Finlay   Dun  in   Landlords  and  'Tenants  in  Ireland  in 
1 88 1  cites  some  examples  which  may  be  apt  to-day  when  we 
are  considering  Mr.  Wyndham's  Act. 
He  writes  on  page  64  :  — 


GLADSTONIAN  LEGISLATION  193 

'  Kilcockan  parish  between  Lismore  and  Youghal  was  in 
great  part  disposed  of  in  the  Landed  Estates  Court  thirty 
years  ago.  It  was  bought,  some  of  it  by  occupiers,  some  of 
it  by  shopkeepers  and  attorneys.  Rents  have  been  raised, 
and  there  is  not  much  appearance  of  prosperity.  Newtown, 
for  several  generations  the  fee-simple  property  of  a  family  of 
the  name  of  Nason,  after  the  famine  of  1846,  was  cut  up  and 
sold  ;  the  family  residence  is  in  ruin.  At  Lower  Curry  glass, 
a  few  miles  east  of  Lismore,  a  good  farm  of  five  hundred  acres, 
belonging  to  a  family  who  have  been  obliged  to  leave  it,  bears 
sad  evidence  of  neglect ;  the  good  old  deserted  manor-house, 
the  farm  buildings,  and  a  dozen  cottages  in  the  village  are 
falling  to  pieces.  Contrary  to  what  might  be  anticipated, 
some  of  the  smaller  proprietors  in  this  district  have  been 
strenuous  supporters  of  the  Land  League,  although  it  is  to  be 
hoped  that  they  repudiate  the  destruction  of  the  cattle  on  the 
land  of  Mr.  Grant,  which  were  stabbed,  and  some  of  them 
drowned  in  the  river.  Mr.  Grant  had  come  under  the  ban 
of  the  League  for  evicting  a  dissipated  bankrupt  tenant,  whose 
debts  to  the  extent  of  two  hundred  pounds  he  had  paid,  and 
who  would  have  been  reinstated,  if  there  had  been  the  remotest 
prospect  of  reformed  habits  or  of  getting  clear  of  his  diffi- 
culties. Such  acts  appear  to  justify  the  statement,  "  that 
Irishmen  don't  know  what  they  want,  and  won't  be  satisfied 
until  they  get  it." ' 

God  knows  we  have  waded  knee  deep  in  blood  of  men, 
and  domestic  animals  since  that  was  written,  yet  to-day  are 
we  any  nearer  the  final  solution  of  the  Irish  difficulties  ^  In 
my  opinion,  certainly  not. 


N 


CHAPTER   XVII 


THE    STATE    OF    KERRY 


It  has  been  stated  that  it  is  only  within  the  last  forty  years 
that  the  bulk  of  the  people  of  Ireland,  long  outside  the  pale  of 
the  ballot-box,  have  actively  entered  political  life.  This  is 
quite  true. 

The  whole  of  the  Home  Rule  troubles  followed  the  pre- 
sentation of  practically  universal  suffrage  to  the  half-educated 
and  over-enthusiastic  Irish,  who  are  easily  led  away,  apt  to 
believe  mob-orators,  and,  by  inherited  instinct,  to  go  against 
the  Government. 

What  the  effect  of  universal  suffrage  in  India  would  be  it 
is  not  my  business  to  estimate.  Still,  the  analogy  of  what  the 
ballot-paper  provided  in  Ireland,  if  applied  to  the  teeming 
population  of  our  Oriental  Empire,  suggests  a  pandemonium 
to  which  the  horrors  of  the  Mutiny  are  but  a  mere  scream 
of  agony. 

The  ballot  transformed  Ireland;  or  rather,  it  permitted 
the  worst  passions  of  the  most  ignorant  to  be  played  upon 
by  interested  adventurers,  when  the  political  power  of  Ireland 
had  passed  for  ever  out  of  the  hands  of  the  restraining 
classes.  Democracy  spelt  anarchy,  and  the  word  patriotism 
was  degraded  in  a  way  that  had  no  parallel  since  the  French 
Revolution. 

The  first  outward  and  visible  sign  was  the  creation  of  the 
Irish  Home  Rule  party,  which  constituted  itself  separate  and 


194 


THE  STATE  OF  KERRY  195 

distinct  from  the  rest  of  the  House  of  Commons,  the  standard 
of  which  the  new  gang  was  to  debase.  Nor  did  they  rest 
content  until  it  became  the  scene  of  faction  fights  and  organ- 
ised obstruction  in  combination  with  the  flagrant  violation  of 
all  decencies  of  language  and  behaviour. 

Members  were  returned  for  Irish  constituencies  who  had 
been  convicts  ;  others  came  who  richly  deserved  imprisonment 
for  life.  They  instigated  murders,  and  clamoured  because  the 
murderers  were  not  regarded  as  heroes  ;  or  if  they  were  hung, 
canonised  them  as  martyrs.  They  attempted  to  prostitute  the 
law  to  their  own  base  standard  of  political  morality.  They 
assiduously  laboured  to  render  life  valueless  in  Ireland  and 
property  worthless,  whilst  no  deed  was  too  cowardly,  no 
atrocity  too  barbarous,  for  them  to  praise.  They  alone  in 
modern  times  warred  against  women  and  children.  Animals 
were  the  dumb  victims  of  the  inhuman  ferocity  they  in  no 
way  tried  to  check,  and  they  effectively  taught  the  receptive 
Irish  millions  that  a  British  Government  could  be  coerced  into 
giving  what  was  demanded  provided  a  sufficient  number  of 
crimes  created  a  holocaust  large  enough  to  intimidate  the 
weak-kneed  at  St.  Stephen's. 

But  Mr.  Parnell  and  the  Land  League  would  all  have 
been  promptly  reduced  to  the  pitiful  unimportance  from 
which  they  had  so  noisily  emerged  if  it  had  not  been  for 
Mr.  Gladstone. 

The  root  of  English  politics  has  been  party  government — 
'  where  all  are  for  a  party,  and  none  are  for  the  State,'  to 
reverse  Macaulay's  famous  line.  Now  the  Irish  vote  of  sixty 
was  a  solid  asset,  capable  in  many  cases  of  weighing  down  one 
side  of  the  political  scale.  It  was  obvious  that  the  votes  would 
be  unscrupulously  given,  and  Mr.  Gladstone  bid  higher  than 
the  Tories.     Literally  the  necessary  parliamentary  machinery 


196  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

for  the  government  of  the  United  Kingdom  was  clogged  by 
the  Nationalists,  who  brought  obstruction  to  a  fine  art,  and 
it  was  Mr.  Gladstone  who  always  gave  in  when  the  Irish 
outcry  would  have  stimulated  an  honest  man  to  avail 
himself  of  all  loyal  forces  which  law  and  the  common  weal 
provided. 

Long  before  this  the  Irish  political  agitator  had  set  himself 
to  embitter  the  relations  existing  between  landlord  and  tenant. 
An  Englishman  goes  into  Parliament  for  various  motives ; 
an  Irishman  for  his  living.  If  he  did  not  outshout  his  neigh- 
bour, if  he  were  not  implicitly  obedient  to  Mr.  Parnell,  if  he 
did  not  arouse  the  worst  passions  of  the  worst  people  in  his 
constituency,  he  was  promptly  dismissed. 

To  do  them  justice,  the  Irish  members  gave  such  an 
exhibition  of  blackguardism  as  has  no  parallel  on  earth,  though 
it  earned  but  the  mildest  rebuke  from  their  obsequious  ally, 
Mr.  Gladstone. 

In  1869,  for  example,  before  this  balloting  away  of  all 
that  was  creditable  to  Ireland,  the  relations  between  landlord 
and  tenant  were  of  the  most  kindly  nature.  The  leading 
landlords  of  Kerry  generally  represented  the  county  in  Par- 
liament with  uniform  decency  and  occasional  brilliance,  while 
larger  sums  were  borrowed  and  expended  by  the  landlords 
under  the  Land  Improvement  Act  than  were  spent  in  the 
same  way  in  any  other  county.  I  can  prove  that  the  principal 
landowner  in  Kerry — Lord  Kenmare — expended  a  greater  sum 
in  ten  years  on  his  estates  than  he  received  out  of  them, 
though  I  cannot  say  he  ever  found  out  for  himself  that  it  was 
better  to  give  than  to  receive. 

For  fifty  years  prior  to  what  Mr.  Gladstone  was  pleased  to 
call  his  '  remedial  legislation,'  Kerry  was  unstained  by  agrarian 
crime  ;  all  things  went  on  smoothly,  and  a  number  of  railways 


THE  STATE  OF  KERRY  197 

were  constructed  with  guaranteed  capital,  half  of  which  was 
contributed  by  the  landlords,  although  they  received  no  benefit 
from  the  increased  prices  of  farm  produce  caused  by  railway 
communication.  The  Board  of  Works  returns  show  that  the 
money  borrowed  by  Kerry  landlords  under  the  different  Land 
Improvement  Acts  amounted  to  almost  half  a  million,  and  yet 
the  deductions  made  under  the  Land  Act  were  greater  in 
Kerry  than  in  other  counties. 

Here  is  an  instance  from  my  own  experience. 

I  purchased  from  the  Government  in  1879  an  estate,  the 
rental  of  which  was  ^^517,  2s.  ^d.;  it  was  considered  so 
cheaply  let  that  the  majority  of  the  tenants  offered  twenty- 
seven  years'  purchase  for  their  farms.  I  borrowed  from  the 
Government  and  expended  on  drainage  ;^ii2o,  14s.  iid. 
Then  the  Commissioners  under  the  Land  Act  reduced  the 
rental  to  ;^495,  los.  6d.,  and  the  Government  which  sold  me 
the  estate  continued  to  compel  me  to  pay  interest  on  the 
amount  borrowed,  although  by  its  own  legislation  I  was  deprived 
of  any  advantage  resulting  from  the  outlay. 

The  rental  of  Kerry  in  1870  was  considerably  less  than  it 
had  been  forty  years  previously,  and  higher  prices  were  paid 
for  the  fee-simple  of  land  than  were  offered  in  any  other  part 
of  Ireland.  But  Mr.  Gladstone's  '  remedial  manoeuvres ' 
changed  the  country  and  the  people. 

Demoralising  bribes  to  the  Irish  nation  frittered  away  the 
proceeds  of  the  plunder  of  the  Irish  Church.  A  notable 
instance  was  a  million  under  the  Arrears  Act,  the  principle 
of  which  was  that  no  honest  tenant  who  had  paid  his  rent 
could  derive  any  benefit  from  it,  but  that  any  drunkard  or 
squanderer  who  had  not  paid  his  rent  might  have  it  paid  for 
him  by  the  Government  on  swearing  that  he  was  unable 
to  pay. 


198   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Here  is  an  instance  that  occurred  on  an  estate  under  my 
management. 

A  tenant,  whose  yearly  rent  was  ^48,  had  one  year's  rent 
paid  by  Government  and  another  year's  rent  given  up  by  his 
landlord,  on  his  swearing  that  the  selling  value  of  his  farm 
was  nil\  ten  weeks  afterwards  he  served  me  with  a  notice,  as 
required  by  the  statute,  that  he  had  sold  the  interest  of  the 
farm  for  £6']o. 

Again,  there  was  a  tenant  who  swore  that  he  had  expended 
^^513,  14s.  6d.  in  permanent  improvements,  and  that  after 
this  expenditure  the  fair  letting  value  of  the  farm  was  only 
;^I7,  though  the  original  rent  was  £16^  4s. 

How  could  I  blame  an  ignorant  peasantry  for  making 
false  statements,  when  laws  were  framed  by  the  leaders  of 
public  opinion  in  England  which  released  the  Irish  tenants 
from  every  moral  obligation,  and  made  their  assumed  responsi- 
bilities and  agreements  a  dead  letter  ;  while  orators,  living  on 
the  wages  of  patriotism,  were  allowed  to  preach  sedition  and 
plunder  to  an  excitable  people  ?  The  result  was  that  the  work 
of  demoralisation  made  rapid  progress,  perjury  became  a  joke, 
assassination  was  merely  '  removal,'  and  men  who  had  been 
brutally  murdered  were  said  to  have  met  with  an  accident, 

I  have  already  shown  how  apt  a  prophet  Mr.  Gladstone 
was  in  his  forecast  in  the  House  of  Commons  in  1870,  and 
one  more  quotation  adds  testimony  to  his  inspiration — though 
from  what  direction  it  came  I  will  not  linger  to  inquire  : — 

*  Compulsory  valuation  and  fixity  of  tenure  would  bring 
about  total  demoralisation  and  a  Saturnalia  of  crime.' 

Exactly. 

Mr.  Laing,  formerly  M.P.  for  Orkney,  in  a  magazine 
article  defended  the  '  Plan  of  Campaign '  as  an  innocent 
attempt  to  defend  the  weak  against  the  strong,  and  as  having 


THE  STATE  OF  KERRY  199 

been  adopted  only  on  estates  where  rents  were  too  high,  in 
fact,  as  the  result  of  high  rents.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  in 
Orkney  the  rents  advanced  1 94  per  cent.,  and  during  the  same 
period  in  Kerry  they  dwindled.  He  also  asserted  that  the  Irish 
tenants'  improvements  had  been  confiscated  by  the  landlords  as 
the  tenant  improved. 

Certainly  the  law  did  not  prevent  them  increasing  the 
rent ;  but,  unfortunately  for  the  reasoning  of  Mr.  Laing,  and 
his  taking  for  granted  imaginary  '  confiscations,'  figures  most 
decidedly  prove  that  the  landlords  did  not  use  any  such  power. 
The  rentals  have  steadily  decreased  while  the  landlords  were 
borrowing  and  expending  nearly  half  a  million  in  my  own 
county. 

This  fact  is  conclusively  demonstrated  by  the  Government 
returns. 

As  to  the  National  League — with  all  its  paraphernalia  of 
boycotting,  shooting  from  behind  a  hedge,  merciless  beating, 
shooting  in  the  legs,  and  other  similar  variations  of  Irish 
Home  Rule,  on  which  I  shall  dwell  in  a  later  chapter — being 
only  a  protector  of  the  weak  tenant  against  the  hard  landlord, 
I  think  one  fact  will  prove  more  forcibly  than  any  argument 
the  fallacy  of  such  an  assertion. 

There  were  two  estates  in  Kerry  let  at  a  much  lower  rate 
than  any  others  in  the  county — those  of  Lord  Cork  and  Colonel 
Oliver. 

Colonel  Oliver's  agent  was  the  only  one  fired  at  in  Kerry 
in  1886,  and  Lord  Cork's  agent  was  the  only  one  obliged  to 
employ  over  two  hundred  police  to  protect  him  in  endeavouring 
to  recover  in  1887  rent  which  was  due  in  1884.  This  rent 
was  due  on  land  let  at  considerably  under  the  Poor  Law 
valuation,  and  the  rents  were  only  half  what  was  paid  in  i860. 

These    cases    afford    a    decided  proof  that   the    Land    or 


200  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

National  League  carries  on  its  government  irrespective  of 
high  or  low  rents,  and  the  '  Plan  of  Campaign '  is  worked 
according  as  the  local  branches  of  the  League  have  disciplined 
or  terrorised  the  inhabitants  of  a  district,  the  orders  from 
'headquarters'  depending  on  the  probability  of  success. 

I  should  like  to  retort  on  Mr.  Laing  that,  while  the 
evidence  before  the  Land  Commissioner  proved  the  rental 
of  Ireland  was  diminishing,  that  of  the  country  where  his  own 
property  lay  increased  to  an  unusual  degree.  I  do  not  say  the 
landlords  confiscated  the  tenants'  improvements,  possibly  they 
made  none.  But  figures  are  hard  facts,  and  they  prove  three 
things : — 

First,  that  Kerry  landlords  spent  ^^453, 539  on  improve- 
ments. Secondly,  that  the  rental  of  Kerry  was  lower  in  1880 
than  in  1840.  Thirdly,  that  the  rental  of  Orkney  increased 
194  per  cent,  during  that  time. 

On  the  south-west  coast  of  Kerry  lie  the  Blasquets,  a 
group  of  islands  the  property  of  Lord  Cork,  one  of  them 
inhabited  by  some  twenty-five  families.  The  old  rental  was 
_^8o,  which  was  regularly  paid.  This  was  reduced  by  Lord 
Cork  to  ;^40,  the  Government  valuation  being  £60.  Now 
this  island  reared  about  forty  milch  cows,  besides  young  cattle 
and  sheep,  and  at  the  period  when  might  meant  right  in 
Ireland  the  inhabitants,  having  some  surplus  stock,  took 
possession  of  another  island  to  feed  them  on. 

This  island  was  let  to  another  man,  but  he  was  not  able  to 
resist  the  tenants  any  more  than  the  mouse  nibbling  a  piece 
of  cheese  is  able  to  fight  a  cat. 

For  ten  years  up  to  1887  those  tenants  paid  no  poor  rate. 
They  successfully  resisted  the  payment  of  county  cess,  to  the 
detnment  of  their  fellow  taxpayers,  and  they  only  paid  one 
half  year's  rent  out  of  six,  and  that   not  until  they  had  been 


THE  STATE  OF  KERRY  201 

served  with  writs.  And  these  people,  in  the  year  1886,  sent 
a  memorial  to  the  Government  to  save  them  from  starvation. 

This  is  a  remarkable  case,  and  proves  that  poverty  and  the 
cry  of  starvation  are  not  always  the  result  of  rents  and  taxes, 
as  the  Irish  patriots  and  their  English  separatist  allies  so 
frequently  assert. 

I  am  going  to  quote  a  colloquy  overheard  at  a  Kerry 
fair  to  show  how  deeply  the  teaching  of  Messrs.  Parnell, 
Gladstone,  Dillon,  Morley,  Davitt,  Biggar,  and  Company  has 
taken  root  in  the  Irish  mind. 

Jim  from  Castleisland  meeting  Mick  from  Glenbeigh, 
asks : — 

'  Well,  Mick,  an'  how  are  ye  getting  on  ? ' 

'  lUigant,  glory  be  to  the  Saints.' 

'  How 's  that,  Mick  ?     Sure,  prices  is  low.' 

'  True  for  you,  Jim,  prices  is  low  ;  but  what  we  has  we 
haSf  for  we  pays  nobody.' 

And  to  that  I  will  add  another  observation. 

Somebody  asked  me  : — 

'  If  Ireland  were  to  get  Home  Rule,  what  would  become 
of  the  agitator  } ' 

I  replied  : — 

*  He  would  be  called  a  reformer,  unless  it  paid  him  better 
to  clamour  for  a  fresh  Union.  He  'd  sell  all  his  patriotism 
for  five  shillings,  and  his  loyalty  could  be  bought  by  a  few 
glasses  of  whisky.' 

And  that 's  the  whole  truth  of  the  matter. 


CHAPTER    XVIII 

A    GLANCE    AT    MY    STEWARDSHIP 

Davitt  called  the  generation  after  O'Connell's  '  a  soulless  age 
of  pitiable  cowardice.' 

I  should  call  the  generation  that  was  active  in  the  early- 
eighties  'a  cowardly  age  of  pitiless  brutality.' 

Times  had  begun  to  mend  in  Ireland  from  1850,  and  had 
continued  to  do  so  until  the  ballot  made  the  country  a  prey  to 
self-seeking  political  agitators. 

Mr.  Gladstone  considered  that  if  you  gave  a  scoundrel 
a  vote  it  made  him  into  a  philanthropist,  whereas  events 
proved  it  made  him  an  eager  accessory  of  murder,  outrage, 
and  every  other  crime. 

Yet  this  happened  after  Fenianism  had  practically  died  out 
in  the  early  seventies. 

I  myself  heard  Mr.  Gladstone  say  that  landlords  had  been 
weighed  in  the  balance  and  had  not  been  found  wanting,  for 
the  bad  ones  were  exceptional. 

None  the  less  were  they  and  their  representatives  delivered 
over  to  their  natural  opponents,  who  were  egged  on  by  the 
Land  League  and  by  its  tacit  or  active  supporters  in  the 
House  of  Commons. 

Emphatically  I  repeat  the  assertion  that  neither  Mr.  Parnell 
nor  the  Land  League  would  have  been  formidable  without  the 
active  help  of  Mr.  Gladstone. 

Before  1870  Kerry  used  to  be  represented  by  gentlemen 

202 


A  GLANCE  AT  MY  STEWARDSHIP         203 

of  the  county.  The  present  members  in  1904  are  an 
attorney's  clerk,  an  assistant  schoolmaster,  a  Dublin  baker, 
and  a  fourth  of  about  the  same  class. 

This  was  no  more  foreseen  by  the  landlords  when  the 
ballot  was  introduced  any  more  than  we  anticipated  the  way 
in  which  we  were  to  be  plundered.  Many  considered  that 
the  confiscation  of  the  Irish  Church,  which  had  been  established 
since  the  reign  of  Elizabeth,  was  an  inroad  into  the  rights 
of  property  very  likely  to  be  followed  up  by  further  aggres- 
sions, but  we  never  looked  for  such  a  wholesale  violation 
as  ensued. 

By  the  Act  of  1870  no  tenant  could  be  turned  out 
without  being  paid  a  sum  averaging  a  fourth  of  the  fee- 
simple  in  addition  to  being  paid  for  his  improvements,  and 
there  the  most  observant  of  us  thought  the  worst  had  been 
reached. 

When  the  Act  of  1881  was  passed,  I  met  Lord  Spencer, 
one  of  the  authors  of  it,  and  said  to  him  : — 

'  This  Act  will  have  as  much  effect  in  settling  Ireland 
as  throwing  a  cup  of  dirty  water  into  the  Thames  would 
have  in  creating  a  flood.' 

My  words  were  soon  proved  right,  for  the  tenants,  having 
obtained  half  the  landlord's  property  by  it,  thought  that  by 
well  working  their  voting  and  shooting  powers  they  would  get 
the  remainder. 

I  have  been  getting  away  from  my  own  experiences  to 
give  my  own  convictions.  When  you  have  meditated  for 
twenty  years  amid  the  ruins  of  what  you  had  been  building 
up  all  your  life  long  and  know  that  it  is  due  to  Irish  outrage 
and  English  misrule,  there  is  a  temptation  to  speak  plainly  on 
breaking  silence. 

The  year  1878  was  a  wet  year  and  yielded  a  bad  harvest ; 


204  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

1879  was  worse.  The  prosperity  of  Ireland  depends  on 
its  harvest,  and  starvation  is  the  opportunity  of  the  lying 
agitator. 

On  July  8,  1880,  I  gave  evidence  before  the  Royal 
Commission  on  Agriculture,  being  mainly  examined  by  the 
president,  the  Duke  of  Richmond  and  Gordon,  others  on 
the  board  being  Lord  Carlingford,  Mr.  Stansfeld,  afterwards 
Lord,  Mr.  Joseph  Cowen,  and  Mr.  Mitchell  Henry. 

Here  are  some  of  my  statements  on  a  then  experience  of 
thirty-one  years : — 

'  The  expenditure  by  landlords  on  farm  buildings  is  as 
great  in  Ireland  as  in  Scotland.' 

*  In  the  exceptional  state  of  things  I  strongly  disapprove  of 
tenant-right  in  Ireland,  which,  as  Lord  Palmerston  said,  is 
landlord  wrong.' 

'  Small  holdings  are  a  very  bad  thing  in  Ireland  where  they 
are  not  mixed  with  large  holdings.' 

*  The  distress  in  Kerry  is  considerable,  but  has  been 
considerably  exaggerated.' 

'  Every  tenant  in  Ireland  has  six  months  to  redeem  after 
he  is  evicted.' 

'  I  have  never  known  a  man  leave  a  farm  unless 
compelled.' 

'I  contradict  the  statement  that  tenants  make  improve- 
ments which  tend  to  increase  the  letting  value  of  the 
land.' 

'  You  pay  four  times  as  much  for  spade  tillage  as  for 
ploughing  by  horse.' 

'  Bad  farming  in  Ireland  is  due  to  want  of  education  and  to 
the  enhanced  subdivision  of  the  land.  When  the  farmer  gets 
higher  up  the  social  scale  he  will  have  more  sense  than  to  make 
beggars  of  his  children  by  subdivision.' 


A  GLANCE  AT  MY  STEWARDSHIP  205 

'  Distress  has  not  produced  the  discontent.' 

'  Almost  more  land  has  been  sold  in  Kerry  than  in  any 
county  in  Ireland.* 

Three  months  later,  in  my  evidence  before  the  Irish  Land 
Act  Commission,  in  answer  to  the  Chairman,  I  stated  that  in 
my  opinion  it  was  simply  impossible  to  arbitrate  on  rent.  I 
had  two  tenants  of  my  own  whose  yearly  rent  was  ^20  and 
whose  valuation  was  ^^20.  One  of  them  in  1880  sold  £i2S 
worth  of  pigs  and  butter,  and  the  other  man's  children  were 
assisted  in  charity  from  my  house,  though  both  had  equal 
means  of  success. 

I  also  pointed  out  that  there  were  then  300,000  occupiers 
of  land  in  Ireland,  whose  holdings  were  under  ^8  Poor  Law 
valuation,  and  these  occupiers  when  their  potatoes  failed  had 
nothing  but  relief  works,  starvation,  or  emigration.  To  give 
them  their  whole  rent  would  not  meet  the  difficulty. 

I  submitted  a  scheme  of  purchase,  in  which  Baron  Dowse 
was  greatly  interested,  and  I  suggested  that  all  holdings  under 
^4  a  year  should  be  ejected  at  Petty  Sessions,  because  it  was 
a  great  hardship  for  the  tenant  of  such  a  holding  to  have 
£2,  I  OS.  costs  put  upon  him. 

I  ended  with  : — 

'  There  is  a  case  in  this  county  in  connection  with  which 
there  is  likely  to  be  very  considerable  disturbance.  A  man 
had  a  farm  put  up  for  sale  and  a  Nationalist  bought  it  at  a 
very  low  figure,  on  the  understanding  that  he  was  to  keep  it 
for  the  man's  family  ;  but  as  soon  as  he  got  it  he  turned 
Conservative  and  kept  it.' 

Baron  Dowse — '  Turned  what  ^  * 

Myself — *  Conservative.' 

Baron  Dowse — '  Rogue,  I  would  say.  You  would  not 
say  that  Conservatives  are  rogues  ? ' 


2o6  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Since  that  was  a  debatable  point  on  which  the  Commission 
had  no  jurisdiction  to  inquire,  I  returned  no  answer. 

As  the  distress  was  alluded  to  above,  I  may  lighten  the 
recent  seriousness  of  my  observations  by  an  anecdote  on  the 
topic. 

In  1880  the  Duchess  of  Marlborough  organised  a  fund 
for  supplying  the  people  with  meal.  The  Dublin  Mansion 
House  did  the  same,  but  their  meal  was  of  a  coarser 
description. 

A  Blasquet  Islander  was  asked  how  he  was  getting  on, 
and  made  answer  : — 

'  Illigant,  glory  be  to  the  Saints.  We  're  eating  the 
Duchess,  and  feeding  two  pigs  on  the  Mansion  House.' 

This  recalls  the  story  of  the  Englishman  who  inquired  of 
a  Kerry  man  which  measure  of  English  legislation  had  proved 
most  beneficial  for  Ireland. 

*  The  Famine  (of  1879)  was  the  best,  beyond  a  shadow  of 
doubt,'  was  the  reply,  '  for  I  fattened  and  sold  ninety  fine 
turkeys  on  the  strength  of  it.' 

In  1880  some  Kerry  men  did  a  very  good  stroke  of 
business.  They  sent  a  cargo  of  potatoes  from  Killorglin  to 
Scotland  and  brought  them  back  as  imported  Champion  seed, 
selling  them  for  six  times  the  original  price. 

About  this  period  Mr.  Leeson-Marshall,  who  had  been 
away  from  Kerry  and  coming  back  found  some  cottages  near 
Milltown  still  only  half  built,  observed  : — 

'  Good  God,  aren't  those  houses  finished  yet  ? ' 

'  Well,  sor,'  was  the  reply,  '  the  contract 's  finished  but  the 
houses  aren't.' 

And  it  has  been  my  life-long  experience  that  ninety-five 
per  cent,  of  all  the  penalties  in  contracts  are  worthless,  as  the 
contractors  themselves  are  only  too  well  aware. 


A  GLANCE  AT  MY  STEWARDSHIP  207 

Being  a  land  agent,  I  wish  to  provide  some  account 
from  another  pen  of  my  stewardship,  for  which  said  steward- 
ship I  was  falsely  called  '  the  most  rack-renting  agent  in 
Ireland.' 

Out  of  Mr.  Finlay  Dun's  book,  from  which  I  have  pre- 
viously quoted,  I  condense  the  following  from  the  chapter  he 
devoted  to  the  estates  for  which  I  was  agent. 

He  observes  that  in  1 8  8 1  my  firm  had  the  supervision  of 
eighty-eight  estates,  upwards  of  three  thousand  farming  tenants, 
and  annually  collected  rents  to  the  value  of  a  quarter  of  a 
million  sterling.  From  the  particulars  I  furnished  him  he 
deduces  : — 

'  So  recently  as  the  end  of  November  the  Lady  Day  rents 
had  been  well  paid  up  ;  old  arrears  had  been  reduced ;  on 
two  estates  in  the  Court  of  Chancery  ^6000  had  been  collected 
with  only  a  few  shillings  in  default.  Dairy  farmers  prospering 
had  been  particularly  well  able  to  pay  rents  and  other  claims. 
More  recent  rent  collections,  unfortunately,  were  not  so  satis- 
factory. Tenants  generally  had  earned  the  money,  but  had 
not  been  allowed  to  pay  it  over. 

'  Many  of  the  low-rented  estates  were  badly  farmed  and 
the  tenantry  in  low  water.  On  the  higher  rented,  the  struggle 
for  existence  had  brought  out  extra  industry  and  energy  and 
led  to  fair  success.' 

The  following  provided  an  apt  illustration  : — 

'  Mr.  Gould  Adams  of  Kilmachill  had  a  small  estate  on  the 
north  side  of  a  hill  rented  at  20s.  an  acre  ;  the  rents  were  paid 
up,  the  tenants  doing  well.  On  the  southern  aspect  of  the 
same  hill,  with  better  land,  at  the  devoutly  desiderated  Griffith's 
valuation,  which  was  i6s.  4d.,  the  tenants  were  invariably 
hard  up,  some  of  them  two  years  in  arrears.  All  tenants  had 
free  sale,  averaging  five  years'  rent. 


2o8  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

'  The  larger  proprietors,  as  a  rule,  were  most  helpful  and 
liberal  to  their  tenants.  Where  improvements  were  not 
effected  or  initiated  by  the  landlords,  they  were  seldom  done 
at  all.  There  had  often  been  considerable  difficulty  in  over- 
coming the  prejudice  and  "  the  rest-and-be-thankful "  spirit 
both  of  landlords  and  tenants. 

'  On  Sir  George  Colthurst's  Ballyvourney  estate,  twenty 
miles  east  of  Killarney,  under  Mr.  Hussey's  auspices  about 
j^ 30,000  had  been  expended  in  draining,  building,  and  road- 
making.  The  economic  value  of  many  holdings  had  been 
doubled,  although  the  rents  had  only  been  increased  five  per 
cent.,  and  subsequently  the  Commissioners  fixed  the  rents  at 
25  per  cent,  less  than  they  had  been  fifty  years  earlier. 

'  The  extending  village  of  Mill  Street  had  been  in  great 
measure  reconstructed  by  his  exertions. 

'  The  Land  League  having  enforced  non-payment  of  rent, 
the  obligation  to  meet  other  debts  was  weakened.  Although 
there  was  more  money  than  usual  in  the  hands  of  the  farming 
community,  shopkeepers  were  not  so  willingly  and  promptly 
paid  as  formerly.  Want  of  security  checked  the  improved 
business  which  should  have  set  in  after  a  good  harvest.  The 
Land  League  agitation  generally  originated  with  the  publicans, 
small  shopkeepers,  and  bankrupt  farmers,  rather  than  with 
the  actual  land  occupiers.  For  peace  and  protection,  many 
pay  their  subscription  to  the  League  and  allow  their  names  to 
be  enrolled.  The  intimidation  and  '  boycotting,'  which  was 
so  widely  had  recourse  to,  rendered  it  dangerous  for  either 
farmers  or  tradesmen  to  make  a  stand  against  the  mob.  With 
Sam  Weller  it  was  regarded  expedient  to  shout  with  the  biggest 

crowd.' 

Thus  wrote  a  critical  visitor  keenly  surveying  the  situa- 
tion   in    no    prejudiced    spirit,    having    gone    on    a    visit   to 


A  GLANCE  AT  MY  STEWARDSHIP         209 

Ireland  to  inquire  into  the  subjects  of  land  tenure  and  estate 
management. 

In  his  next  chapter  is  a  tribute  to  Lord  Kenmare,  '  a  kind 
and  considerate  landlord,  united  to  his  people  by  strong  ties  of 
race  and  creed,  residing  for  a  great  part  of  the  year  on  his 
estates,  ready  with  purse  and  influence  to  advance  the  interests 
of  his  neighbourhood.  On  his  mansion  and  on  the  town  of 
Killarney,  since  his  accession  to  the  property  in  1871,  he  has 
spent  j^  1 00,000.  At  his  own  expense  he  has  erected  a  town 
hall,  and  improved  and  beautified  Killarney.  Within  the 
last  twenty  years  ^10,000  of  arrears  have  been  written  off. 
From  last  year's  rents  ten  to  twenty  per  cent,  was  deducted. 
During  the  last  few  years  of  distress,  ^^  15,000  has  been 
borrowed  for  draining  and  other  improvements  ;  regular 
work  has  thus  been  found  for  the  labourer  ;  on  such  outlay 
in  many  instances  no  percentage  has  been  charged.  Since 
1870,  three  hundred  labourers  have  been  comfortably  housed 
and  provided  with  gardens  or  allotments  varying  from  one 
to  three  pounds  annually.' 

I  could  not  myself  so  tersely  put  the  situation  to-day 
as  by  quoting  this  contemporary  narrative,  the  facts  for 
which  I  supplied. 

Once  more  let  me  draw  upon  Mr.  Finlay  Dun.  '  Un- 
mindful of  all  this  consistent  liberality,  ungrateful  for  the 
great  efforts  to  improve  his  poorer  neighbours,  popular  pre- 
judice has  been  roused  against  Lord  Kenmare  ;  it  has  been 
impossible  to  collect  rents ;  threatening  letters  have  been 
sent  to  him.  Mortified  with  the  apparent  fruitlessness  of  his 
humane  endeavours  he  has  been  compelled  to  leave  Killarney 
House. 

*  His  agent,  Mr.  Hussey,  who  for  twenty  years  has  been 
earnestly   and   intelligently  labouring   to  improve  Irish  agri- 

o 


2IO  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

culture,  to  bring  more  capital  to  bear  on  it,  to  render  it 
more  profitable,  and  has,  besides,  most  energetically  striven 
to  elevate  and  house  more  decently  the  labouring  population, 
has  also  brought  down  on  himself  the  odium  of  the  powers 
that  be.  For  months  he  has  had  to  travel  armed  and  guarded 
by  a  couple  of  constables  ;  now  he  has  thought  it  discreet  to 
leave  the  country.' 

This,  however,  is  erroneous.  I  only  took  a  house  for  my 
family  in  London  for  the  winter,  and  was  backwards  and 
forwards  between  Kerry  and  the  metropolis. 

Against  all  this  let  me  set  another  quotation.  In  New  Tork 
Tablet  iov  1880,  a  letter  from  Daniel  O'Shea,  who  stated  that 
for  a  large  number  of  years  he  was  a  resident  in  Killarney. 

'  Among  the  most  prominent  tyrants  was  Lord  Kenmare, 
who  has  so  recently  surpassed  himself  and  his  antecedents  in 
despotism.  He  is  a  lineal  descendant  of  the  original  land 
thief,  Valentine  Brown,  who  was  a  special  pet  of  '  the  Virgin 
Queen '  Bess,  and  strange  to  relate,  this  descendant  of  that 
Brown  is  a  much-favoured  pet  of  John  Brown's  Queen.  Let 
me  explain  that  he  lives  with  the  Queen  in  London  where  he 
holds  the  position  of  chamberlain  (j/V).  ...  At  Aghadoe 
House  now  resides  that  ruthless  Sam  Hussey.  Allow  me 
to  give  you  an  outline  of  this  heartless  fellow's  antecedents. 
This  Hussey  is  of  English  origin  and  was  formerly  a  cattle- 
dealer,  and  practised  usury  as  far  back  as  1845.  ^^  ^'^ 
Ireland  were  to  be  searched  for  a  similar  despot  he  would 
not  be  found.  He  is  a  regular  anti-Christ  and  Orangeman 
at  heart,  and,  in  fact,  he  acts  as  agent  for  all  the  bankrupt 
landlords  in  Kerry.  An  English-Irish  landlord  is  an  alien 
in  heart,  a  despot  by  instinct,  an  absentee  by  inclination  ; 
and  all  the  foul  confederacy  of  landlordism  in  Kerry  is  always 
in  direct  opposition  to  the  cause  of  Ireland.' 


A  GLANCE  AT  MY  STEWARDSHIP  211 

There  is  a  copious  mendacity  about  that  effusion  which 
makes  me  think  the  real  mission  of  the  writer  should  have 
been  to  become  an  Irish  Member  of  Parliament.  His  powers 
of  misrepresentation  would  have  raised  him  to  an  eminence 
among  obstructionists. 

After  all,  scurrilous  denunciation  never  affected  me.  His 
life  by  Sir  Wemyss  Reid  reveals  how  Mr.  W.  E.  Forster 
flinched  under  the  vituperation  levelled  at  his  head.  But  he 
was  not  an  Irishman,  least  of  all  a  Kerry  man,  and  so  he 
never  felt  the  fun  of  the  fray,  the  grim  earnest  of  the  fight 
which  made  me  set  my  teeth  and  give  as  good  as  I  received. 
Indeed,  I  '11  take  my  oath  no  man  had  the  better  of  me,  either 
in  bandying  words  or  yet  in  acts,  so  long  as  they  were  open 
and  above-board,  but  it  has  always  been  the  way  of  sedition 
and  conspiracy  to  hit  below  the  belt. 


CHAPTER    XIX 

MURDER,    OUTRAGE    AND    CRIME 

Once  launched  upon  memories  of  those  horrible  perpetrations 
by  so-called  Christians,  which  disgraced  alike  my  native 
country  and  all  Christendom  (because  the  criminals  nominally 
worshipped  the  same  God,  and  professed  reverence  to  Him), 
I  could  enumerate  instances  until  I  had  filled  a  volume. 

You  know  how  the  Ghost  told  Hamlet  that  he  could  a 
tale  unfold,  whose  lightest  word  would  harrow  up  his  soul. 
Why,  I  could  tell  five  score,  and  still  not  have  exhausted  the 
roll  of  crime. 

As  my  experience  is  mainly  connected  with  Kerry,  it  is 
characteristically  Irish  for  me  to  start  with  an  example  from 
County  Cork.  The  outrage  was  on  the  Rathcole  estate  of 
Sir  George  Colthurst.  The  rental  was  ^1500,  and  the  land- 
lord had  expended  ^^  10,000  on  improvements,  so  that  it  was 
not  to  be  wondered  that  the  labourers  should  meet  to  celebrate 
their  employer's  marriage. 

Nor  to  any  one  knowing  Ireland  was  it  surprising  that 
the  Land  League  should  have  despatched  one  of  their  well- 
armed  bands  to  fire  on  them  for  so  doing. 

This  was  apparently  a  challenge  to  Kerry  not  to  be  out- 
done in  barbarity  by  Cork,  her  neighbour  and  rival. 

Kerry  was  quite  equal  to  current  demands  on  her  in- 
humanity. 

A  labourer  of  the  M'Gilly cuddy s  was  visited  by  another 
212 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME         213 

Land  League  detachment  and  had  his  ear,  a  la  Bulgaria,  cut 
clean  oiF  to  the  bone,  because  he  worked  on  a  farm  from 
which  a  tenant  had  been  evicted. 

The  next  night  a  small  Protestant  farmer  near  Tralee 
found  his  best  cow  tortured  and  killed  because  he  had  sold 
milk  to  the  police. 

On  the  same  night  a  farmer's  house  was  sacked  because 
he  had  bought  some  *  boycotted  '  hay. 

Still  on  the  same  night,  at  Millstreet,  another  Land 
League  gang  attacked  a  house,  one  of  the  Land  League  police 
being  killed,  and  one  of  the  Crown  police  wounded. 

In  fact,  all  law  save  Land  League  law  was  for  a  time  at  an 
end  in  Munster. 

At  one  Kerry  Assize,  a  criminal  caught  by  four  policemen 
in  the  very  act  of  breaking  into  a  house,  was  acquitted,  and 
at  the  Cork  Assize  the  Crown  Prosecutor,  after  half  a  dozen 
acquittals,  announced  he  would  not  continue  the  farce  of 
putting  criminals  on  their  trial. 

I  mentioned  boycotting  just  now,  but  I  am  tempted  to 
pause,  because  a  new  generation  that  knows  not  Parnellism, 
nor  the  extent  of  crime  in  that  unhappy  period,  may  not  be 
aware  of  the  origin  of  the  term. 

Captain  Boycott  was  agent  for  Lord  Erne's  Mayo  estates, 
and  laid  out  the  whole  of  his  capital  ^6000,  in  improving  and 
stocking  his  own  property.  Because,  in  the  course  of  his 
duty,  he  served  some  ejectment  notices,  he  was  denounced 
by  the  Land  League,  his  farm  servants  were  terrorised  into 
leaving  his  employment,  and  when  he  imported  fifty  labourers 
from  the  north  of  Ireland  to  save  his  crops,  the  Government 
had  to  despatch  a  small  army  corps  of  troops  and  constabulary 
to  protect  them.  So  great  was  the  power  of  the  League,  that 
even  in  Dublin  the  landlord  of  a  hotel  declined  to  let  him 


214   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

stop  more  than  twenty-four  hours  in  the  house,  as  he  was 
threatened  if  he  ventured  to  harbour  him.  For  the  protec- 
tion of  his  life  and  no  more,  the  unfortunate  gentleman  had 
to  leave  the  country. 

Baron  Dowse  said  in  charging  the  Grand  Jury  of  the 
Connaught  Western  Assize,  that  this  case  had  '  excited  the 
wonder  and  amazement  of  a  great  part  of  the  United  Kingdom 
and  the  sorrow  of  a  considerable  portion  of  Ireland.'  Very 
soon  the  name  of  Boycott  was  given  to  the  approved  method 
of  actively  sending  a  man  to  Coventry,  or  threatening  his  life 
and  property  as  well  as  refusing  to  permit  him  to  be  supplied 
with  even  the  bare  necessities  of  existence. 

Baron  Dowse,  a  man  who  had  no  fear  of  unmanly  criminals, 
justly  styled  this  a  reign  of  terror. 

Kerry  is  divided  into  six  Poor  Law  Unions,  three  of  them 
— Kenmare,  Cahirciveen  and  Dingle — are  very  poor  districts; 
but  there  was  practically  not  an  outrage  in  them.  Killarney, 
Tralee  and  Listowel  are  rich  by  comparison,  Tralee  being  the 
richest  of  the  three,  and  Castleisland  the  wealthiest  portion  of 
the  district.  There  were  nearly  as  many  outrages  there  as  in 
the  whole  of  the  rest  of  the  country,  which  shows  that  poverty 
was  not  the  cause. 

I  was  in  and  out  of  Castleisland,  but  though  I  had  a  sheaf 
of  threatening  letters,  I  never  met  with  any  insults  or  received 
a  threat  to  my  face. 

Only  once  did  I  overhear  any  hostile  mutterings.  This 
was  when  I  was  driving  out  of  Tralee,  and  my  coachman 
stopped  to  give  a  message  in  the  dusk  at  a  house  on  the  out- 
skirts of  the  town. 

Suddenly  two  or  three  men  came  up,  and  one  said  : — 

'  Now  's  the  time  to  settle  old  Hussey.' 

Old  Hussey — to  use  their  accurate  nomenclature — popped 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME  215 

his  head  out  of  the  window,  and  also  his  right  hand  which 
held  a  most  serviceable  revolver  and  invited  them  to  come  on. 

They  did  not.  In  fact  they  scattered  with  a  rapidity 
which  proved  they  had  not  imbibed  enough  whisky  to  affect 
their  legs  or  give  them  courage. 

This  will  show  that  my  business — to  collect  what  was  due 
to  the  landlords  I  represented — was  not  always  agreeable  work 
or  always  easy.  But  my  duty  was  to  get  in  rents,  and  so  I 
got  them,  whenever  I  could. 

The  tenants  did  not  all  pay  direct,  for  many  were  far  too 
frightened.  Quite  a  number,  even  of  the  Roman  Catholics, 
used  to  send  the  money  through  the  Protestant  clergy. 

How  they  settled  this  in  the  confessional  I  do  not  know, 
possibly  it  was  a  trifle  they  did  not  consider  worth  troubling 
the  priest  with. 

Three  tenants  on  Lord  Kenmare's  estate  came  into  my 
office  on  one  occasion,  and  said  they  would  like  to  pay  their 
rent,  but  were  afraid  of  the  Land  League, 

I  treated  their  fears  as  arrant  nonsense,  but  told  them  to 
come  and  argue  it  out  with  me  in  my  own  room. 

So  soon  as  they  could  not  be  seen  by  any  one  they  paid 
up. 

Within  a  few  days  an  armed  party  went  to  their  houses 
and  shot  the  three  in  their  legs. 

One  man's  life  was  despaired  of  for  some  time,  but  finally 
they  all  recovered. 

This  outrage  was  a  rather  late  one,  because  the  Land 
League  latterly  decided  to  shoot  objectionable  characters  only 
in  the  legs,  because  though  a  fuss  was  made  at  the  time,  if  a 
man  was  killed  it  was  soon  forgotten  afterwards,  whereas  a 
lame  man  was  a  lifelong  testimony  to  their  power. 

There  is  a  man  hobbling  about  Castleisland  to  this  day> 


2i6  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

who  was  peppered  in  this  comparatively  humanitarian  way. 
I  am  quite  sure  he  would  say  such  a  comparison  had  proved 
odious. 

Judge  Barry  very  truly  said  that  a  thatched  cabin  on  a 
mountain-side  was  not  much  of  a  place  of  defence,  and  if  the 
tenant  was  supposed  to  have  paid  his  rent,  he  would  be  told 
to  run  out  with  probably  three  men  standing  at  the  door  to 
shoot  him.  That  was  terrorism  as  inculcated  by  the  so-called 
friends  of  Ireland. 

Mr.  Forster  in  his  plucky  speech  to  the  crowd  at  Tulla- 
more,  said  : — 

*  I  went  when  I  was  at  Tulla  to  the  workhouse,  and  there 
saw  a  poor  fellow  lying  in  bed,  the  doctors  around  him,  with 
a  blue  light  over  his  face  that  made  me  feel  that  the  doctors 
were  not  right,  when  they  told  me  he  might  get  over  it.  I 
felt  sure  that  he  must  die,  and  I  see  this  morning  that  he  has 
died.  But  why  did  that  man  die  ?  He  was  a  poor  lone 
farmer.  I  believe  he  had  paid  his  rent — I  believe  he  had 
committed  that  crime.  He  thought  it  his  duty  to  pay. 
Fifteen  or  sixteen  men  broke  into  his  house  in  the  middle 
of  the  night,  pulled  him  out  of  his  bed  and  told  him  they 
would  punish  him.  He  himself,  lying  in  his  death  agony  as 
it  were,  told  me  the  story.  He  said,  "  My  wife  went  down 
on  her  knees  and  said,  '  Here  are  five  helpless  children,  will 
you  kill  their  father  ? '  "  They  took  him  out,  they  discharged 
a  gun  filled  with  shot  into  his  leg,  so  closely  that  they  shattered 
his  leg.' 

Now  there  were  dozens  of  instances  of  that  kind  of  thing 
in  Kerry. 

Mr.  Parnell  started  the  whole  vile  crusade,  when  at  Ennis 
he  gave  the  advice  to  shun  any  man  who  had  bid  for  a  farm 
from  which  a  tenant  had  been  evicted. 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME         217 

'  Shun  him  in  the  street,  in  the  shop,  in  the  marketplace, 
even  in  the  place  of  worship,  as  if  he  were  a  leper  of  old.' 

His  words  were  implicitly  obeyed,  and  outrage  followed 
mere  boycotting  till  the  rapid  succession  of  crimes  prevented 
each  one  having  its  full  effect  in  horrifying  civilised  Europe. 

A  very  bad  case  occurred  in  Millstreet. 

Jeremiah  Haggerty  was  a  large  farmer  and  shopkeeper. 
There  was  no  objection  to  him,  except  that  he  declined  to 
join  the  Land  League,  for  which  his  shop  was  boycotted, 
which  he  told  me  meant  the  loss  of  a  thousand  a  year  to 
him,  but  the  League  failed  to  boycott  his  farm,  because  he 
was  too  good  an  employer. 

He  was  fired  at  coming  into  Millstreet,  and  the  outrage 
had  been  so  openly  planned,  that  it  was  talked  of  on  the 
preceding  evening  in  every  whisky  store. 

On  another  occasion  he  was  leaving  Millstreet  station, 
about  a  mile  from  the  town,  and  when  about  twenty  yards 
from  the  station  he  was  fired  at  and  forty  grains  of  shot 
lodged  in  the  back  of  his  head,  neck,  and  body.  As  it  was 
twilight,  a  railway  porter  obligingly  held  up  his  lantern  to 
give  the  miscreants  a  better  view  of  their  victim. 

He  was  a  man  of  most  honourable  and  upright  character, 
who  had  worked  his  way  up,  and  he  has  now  regained  his 
popularity.  He  started  as  a  clerk  in  quite  a  small  way,  and 
must  now  be  worth  a  very  large  sum  of  money.  I  was 
instrumental  in  getting  him  made  a  magistrate,  and  I  have 
the  greatest  respect  for  him. 

I  regard  this  as  a  decidedly  serious  example,  because  of 
the  popularity  of  the  victim,  and  also  because  he  had  offended 
no  one  by  word  or  deed.  Still,  there  were,  of  course,  many 
instances  which  were  even  more  outrageous. 

A  farmer,  name  of  Brown,  was  shot  at  Castleisland.     Two 


2i8    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

men  were  arrested  for  the  murder,  and  were  twice  tried  before 
Cork  juries.  The  first  disagreed,  but  the  second  found  them 
guilty. 

A  subscription  was  made  up  for  the  families  of  the  two 
murderers,  to  which  contributions  were  made  by  the  leading 
shopkeepers  of  several  neighbouring  towns.  For  several 
years  afterwards,  Mrs.  Brown  could  not  get  a  man  to  dig 
her  potatoes,  nor  a  woman  to  milk  her  cows,  although  she 
had  tendered  no  evidence  at  the  trial,  and  it  was  clearly  proved 
that  Brown  had  given  no  cause  of  offence. 

But,  as  a  Land  Leaguer  said  to  me,  it  was  suspected  that 
he  might  be  in  a  position  to  do  so. 

Red  Indians,  or  any  other  barbarians  you  can  think  of, 
would  not  have  been  guilty  of  wreaking  vengeance  on  the 
widow  of  an  innocent  murdered  man,  nor  of  endowing  the 
wives  of  his  assassins. 

Here  is  another  murder  story. 

A  caretaker  on  an  evicted  farm  on  the  property  of  Lord 
Cork,  near  Kanturk,  was  murdered  for  taking  charge  of  it. 

The  evicted  tenant  had  owed  eleven  years'  rent. 

Lord  Cork  had  agreed  to  accept  one  year's  rent  in  full 
acquittal,  and  so  good  a  landlord  was  he,  that  the  neighbours 
of  the  debtor  offered  to  make  up  the  amount  to  that  sum. 

The  tenant  firmly  declined  to  pay,  because  he  said  another 
year  would  bring  him  within  the  statute  of  limitations. 

So  then  he  had  to  be  evicted. 

Two  men  were  clearly  identified  as  having  perpetrated  the 
unprovoked  crime  of  assassinating  the  temporary  occupant  of 
the  property,  and  were  arrested. 

The  Gladstonian  Attorney-General,  in  order  to  curry 
popularity,  declined  to  challenge  the  jury,  when  the  first  man 
was    put   on   his   trial.      Consequently   three    cousins    of  the 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME         219 

prisoner  were  impanelled,  the  jury  disagreed,  and  the  wretch 
bolted  to  America  that  same  night. 

The  second  man,  though  less  guilty,  was  duly  tried  before 
a  challenged  jury,  and  not  only  sentenced  but  hanged. 

He  was  the  organiser  of  outrages  for  Cork,  and  his 
brother  held  the  similar  delectable  office  for  Kerry.  A  good 
deal  of  the  impunity  with  which  crime  was  committed  was  due 
to  the  change  in  the  jury  laws,  by  which  so  low  a  class  of  man 
was  summoned  into  the  box,  that  criminals  began  to  consider 
conviction  impossible.  To  my  mind  it  was  quite  worth  the 
consideration  of  the  Cabinet  of  the  time,  whether  trial  by  jury 
ought  not  to  be  abolished  in  Ireland — indeed,  even  to-day, 
I  can  see  few  reasons  for  its  retention  and  many  for  its 
abolition. 

Anyhow  in  the  bad  times  I  am  now  dealing  with,  to  send 
persons  for  trial  before  a  jury  was  but  to  advertise  the  weak- 
ness of  the  law. 

Two  men  at  Tralee  were  suspected  of  having  paid  their 
rent  to  me,  and  in  spite  of  their  assurances  that  they  were 
quite  innocent  and  had  not  paid  a  farthing  for  two  years,  it 
was  necessary  for  the  police  to  escort  them  after  nightfall  to 
their  homes  about  four  miles  away,  and  to  advise  them  not 
to  venture  into  the  town  for  a  long  while  after. 

One  of  the  worst  features,  however,  of  all  this  terrible 
period  was  that  helpless  girls  and  women  were  victims  as  well 
as  men.  I  know  of  a  case  where  some  ruffians  entered  the 
house  of  a  family  at  night,  went  into  the  bedroom  of  one  of 
the  girls,  seized  her  violently,  forced  her  on  her  knees,  and 
held  her  in  that  position  while  one  of  the  gang  cut  off  her  hair 
with  shears,  and  then  poured  a  quantity  of  hot  tar  on  her 
head  before  entering  the  bedroom  of  her  sister  to  do  the 
same. 


2  20   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

A  similar  fate  befell  two  girls  named  Murphy  merely 
because  they  were  suspected  of  speaking  to  a  policeman. 

A  man  named  Finlay  was  boycotted  and  then  shot  dead, 
and  the  neighbours  jeered  and  laughed  at  his  wife,  when  in 
her  agony  she  was  wringing  her  hands  in  grief. 

The  poor  woman  went  into  the  street  and  knelt  down 
crying  : — 

'  The  curse  of  God  rest  upon  Father for  being  the 

cause  of  my  husband's  murder.' 

The  priest  had  denounced  him  from  the  altar  on  the 
previous  Sunday. 

'  Carding '  has  always  been  a  favourite  Irish  form  of 
physically  insinuating  to  a  man  that  he  is  not  exactly  popular. 
It  consists  of  a  wooden  board  with  nails  in  it  being  drawn  down 
the  naked  flesh  of  a  man's  face  and  body.  This  foul  torture 
was  often  heard  of,  and  it  has  been  whispered  that  women  and 
even  girls  have  been  the  victims  of  this  atrocity. 

The  merciful  man  is  proverbially  merciful  to  his  beast,  and 
those  who  showed  mercy  to  neither  man  nor  woman  had  none 
on  the  dumb  animals  owned  by  their  victims. 

A  valuable  Spanish  ass  belonging  to  Mr.  M*Cowan  of 
Tralee  was  saturated  with  paraffin,  set  on  fire,  and  horribly 
burned. 

A  farmer  named  Lambert  found  the  shoulder  of  a  heifer 
had  been  smashed  by  some  blunt  instrument  like  a  hammer. 
1  myself  had  a  couple  of  cows  killed  and  salted. 

Indeed  cattle  outrages  became  incidents  of  nightly  occur- 
rence. Tenants  in  all  disturbed  counties,  besides  having  their 
houses  burnt,  saw  their  cattle  so  horribly  mutilated  that  the 
poor  dumb  creatures  had  to  be  killed  to  put  them  out  of  their 
misery.  The  Society  for  the  Prevention  of  Cruelty  to  Animals 
would  have  no  chance  of  obtaining  general  support  among  the 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME  221 

lower  classes  in  Kerry,  where  beasts  belonging  to  your  enemy 
are  simply  regarded  as  so  many  goods  and  chattels,  to  be  as 
badly  damaged  as  possible. 

It  is  a  curious  thing  that  the  Irish  and  the  Italian  are  the 
two  most  poetic  and  most  sensitive  races  of  Europe,  and  also 
are  the  two  which  exhibit  the  greatest  indifference  to  the 
sufferings  of  dumb  animals. 

The  distress  in  Kerry,  of  course,  in  the  winter  of  1879 
had  been  as  great  as  in  the  more  famous  famine,  and  I  have 
heard  the  theory  advanced  in  a  London  drawing-room  that 
physical  suffering  renders  uneducated  people  indifferent  to 
any  torture  endured  by  animals.  Personally,  I  should  have 
thought  a  fellow  feeling  made  us  wondrous  kind. 

Reverting  to  matters  with  which  I  had  more  personal 
connection,  an  interesting  episode  occurred  in  June  1 8  8 1 , 
when  The  O'Donoghue  moved  the  adjournment  of  the 
House  of  Commons  to  force  a  debate  upon  the  subject  of 
Lord  Kenmare's  estate,  and  I  wrote  a  letter  in  the  Thnes  in 
reply,  from  which  may  be  condensed  the  following  facts  :  — 

On  the  Cork  estate,  from  1878  to  1881,  the  evictions  did 
not  average  one  for  each  year  for  every  two  hundred  tenants. 

On  the  Limerick  estate  for  five  years  there  have  been  no 
evictions. 

On  the  Kerry  estate,  since  he  succeeded  (in  187 1),  Lord 
Kenmare  has  expended  £^']yiiS  °^  drainage,  road-making, 
and  building  cottages.  The  evictions  have  been  about  one  in 
five  hundred  in  every  half  year.  The  abatements,  allowances, 
and  expenditure  in  1878,  '79,  '80,  and  '81,  exclusive  of  what 
was  spent  on  the  house  and  demesne,  were  £z?>->^^S'>  ^^^  ^  ^"^ 
under  the  mark  when  I  say  that,  altogether,  for  these  years  of 
distress.  Lord  Kenmare  spent  more  on  his  Kerry  estates  than 
he  received  out  of  it ;  yet  for  this,  Land  League  meetings  were 


222    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

held  on  his  estate,  and  he  was  denounced  in  Parliament.  The 
week  that  the  Land  League  compelled  Lord  Kenmare  to 
discontinue  his  employment  to  labourers,  the  weekly  labour 
bill  was  ;^46o. 

There  is  no  need  to  trouble  readers  with  any  further 
correspondence  on  a  topic  on  which  no  one  could  answer  me 
except  by  abuse,  which  is  no  argument ;  nor  will  I  inflict  any 
of  the  letters  in  which  Mr.  Sexton  was  clearly  proved  in  the 
wrong  when  he  misrepresented  the  case  of  Pat  Murphy  of 
Rath. 

As  an  example  of  the  state  of  affairs,  in  Millstreet — a  mere 
village — there  were  thirty  cases  of  nocturnal  raid  in  the  month 
of  August  1881,  even  while  it  was  engaging  the  attention  of 
Mr.  T.  O.  Plunkett,  R.M.,  Mr.  French,  chief  of  the  detective 
department,  two  sub-inspectors,  thirty-five  constabulary,  and 
fifty  men  of  the  80th  Regiment. 

In  the  Daily  'Telegraphy  with  reference  to  the  murder  of 
Gallivan,  near  Castleisland,  this  remark  appeared  in  a  leader  : — 

'  Horror-stricken  humanity  demands  that  an  example  be 
speedily  made  of  the  truculent  and  merciless  ruffian  who 
perpetrated  this  outrage.' 

I  quoted  this  in  a  letter  the  editor  published,  adding : — 

'  A  few  weeks  after  that  occasion  an  old  man  named  Flynn 
was  shot  within  two  miles  of  the  place,  because  he  paid  his 
rent.     His  leg  has  since  been  amputated.' 

Then  I  gave  the  following  horrible  case  : — 

On  Sunday  night  the  Land  League  police  went  to  the 
house  of  a  man  named  Dan  Dooling,  who  lived  within  a  mile 
of  Gallivan's  house,  and  within  one  mile  of  Castleisland,  and 
because  he  paid  his  rent  on  getting  a  reduction  of  thirty  per 
cent.,  he  was  taken  out  and  shot  in  the  thigh.  His  wife,  who 
was  only  three  days  after  her  confinement,  pleaded  for  mercy 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME  223 

on  this  account,  but  these  lynch  law  authorities  were  deaf  to 
the  appeal  for  mercy,  and  she  did  not  recover  the  shock  of 
the  entry  of  these  '  moonlight '  Thugs.  This  man  could  have 
identified  his  assailants,  but  he  did  not  dare. 

A  good  fellow  called  M'Auliffe,  whose  arm  was  shot  ofF, 
could  have  done  the  same.  The  poor  chap  could  be  seen 
walking  about  with  one  arm,  deprived  of  the  means  of  earning 
his  bread,  and  no  doubt  moralising  over  the  state  of  the  law, 
which  would  compensate  him  for  the  loss  of  his  cow,  if  he  had 
one,  but  gave  him  nothing  for  the  loss  of  his  arm. 

On  Friday,  November  18,  188 1,  two  tenants,  named  Cronin 
and  one  O'Keefe,  holding  land  from  Lord  Kenmare,  came 
into  my  office  in  Killarney. 

O'Keefe,  an  old  man.  of  seventy,  was  the  spokesman,  and 
said : — 

*  If  you  plase,  sorr,  we  have  the  rint  in  our  pocket,  and 
would  be  glad  to  pay  it  if  it  were  not  for  the  fear  that  we 
have  of  being  shot.' 

To  my  lasting  regret,  I  replied  : — 

'  There  is  no  danger.     You  must  pay.' 

They  did,  and  on  the  Sunday  week  following,  a  band  of 
marauders,  headed  by  fife  and  drum,  went  to  the  houses  of 
these  men,  and  shot  them  in  the  presence  of  their  families. 
All  the  flesh  on  the  lower  part  of  O'Keefe's  legs  was  shot 
away,  one  of  the  Cronins  was  shot  in  the  knee,  but  the  other 
in  the  body. 

Everybody  in  the  neighbourhood  knew  the  perpetrators  of 
this  ghastly  outrage,  but  said  : — 

'  What  use  would  there  be  in  our  telling,  as  the  jury  would 
acquit  them,  and  we  should  be  shot .''  ' 

Then  came  this  announcement,  which  caused  great  excite- 
ment in  Killarney  : — 


2  24  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

'  In  consequence  of  the  difficulty  of  getting  his  rents,  the 
Earl  of  Kenmare  has  decided  to  leave  the  country  for  the 
present.  All  the  labourers  employed  on  the  estate  are 
discharged,  as  well  as  some  of  the  gamekeepers.' 

My  own  opinion  was  that  he  showed  great  wisdom  in 
abandoning  the  ungrateful  locality  where  only  man,  debased 
by  the  Land  League,  was  vile. 

Outside  my  own  folk,  I  found  the  people  stiffer  and  less 
affable  than  formerly  ;  but  at  no  time  had  I  any  difficulty  in 
obtaining  or  keeping  domestic  servants,  though  my  wife  got 
the  majority  from  the  neighbourhood  of  Edenburn. 

I  used  to  sit,  on  and  off,  on  the  bench  as  regularly  as  most 
of  the  other  magistrates,  whenever,  indeed,  my  business  per- 
mitted me  to  do  so,  and  to  my  face  no  one  ventured  to 
abuse  me. 

Quite  late  in  the  bad  times  when  I  wanted  a  decree  of 
ejectment  against  a  fellow,  the  chairman,  desiring  to  make 
peace,  explained  that  his  hesitation  was  entirely  on  my  account, 
to  save  me  from  danger, 

I  replied  that  I  had  not  quailed  all  those  years,  and  I  was 
too  old  to  begin  ;  so  I  had  my  decree,  and  that  fellow's  threats 
were  as  contemptuously  treated  as  all  the  rest. 

The  Bank  had  a  decree  against  a  tenant  of  mine,  and, 
having  sold  him  out,  entered  Into  possession  and  put  in  a 
caretaker. 

He  was  in  occupation  about  eight  hours,  when  he  grew  so 
frightened  that  he  ran  away.  The  tenant  then  went  back  into 
possession  as  a  caretaker,  whom  nobody  dared  dislodge,  and 
he  promptly  went  to  the  Tralee  Board  of  Guardians  to  obtain 
a  pound  a  week  as  an  evicted  tenant. 

At  that  time  two-thirds  of  the  poor-rate  was  paid  by  the 
landlord.     When  the  tenancy  was  over  £^  a  year,  they  had 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME  225 

to  allow  each  tenant  half  the  rate  he  paid  ;  when  it  was  under 
this  sum,  they  had  to  pay  the  whole  of  it,  and,  of  course,  all 
the  rates  for  land  in  their  own  occupation. 

Thus  the  Board  of  Guardians  were  utilising  the  money  of 
the  landlords  in  order  to  remunerate  the  men  who  were  robbing 
them  of  their  property. 

If  a  tenant — who  generally  had  some  money — was  evicted, 
a  notice  was  served  on  the  relieving  officer  to  provide  him 
with  a  conveyance,  in  which  he  was  taken  to  the  poorhouse  ; 
but  if  a  farmer  evicted  a  labourer — who  had,  perhaps,  nothing 
but  the  suit  of  clothes  in  which  he  stood  up — he  was  allowed 
to  walk  to  the  poorhouse  as  best  he  might,  and,  when  he  got 
there,  he  obtained  no  special  relief. 

It  is  true  that  the  passing  of  the  Habeas  Corpus  Suspension 
Act  offered  another  opportunity  to  the  Government  for  striking 
a  severe  blow,  but  it  was  frittered  away,  although,  before  it 
became  law,  many  of  the  leaders  of  disorder  left  the  country, 
dreading  its  provisions. 

Instead,  the  isolated  arrests  revealed  that  the  criminals 
were  provided  with  special  accommodation  and  superior  fare. 

A  district  officer,  asked  by  Lord  Spencer  for  his  views  on 
the  Coercion  Act,  replied  : — 

'  The  only  coercion  I  can  perceive,  your  Excellency,  is  that 
people  accustomed  to  live  on  potatoes  and  milk  are  forced  to 
feed  on  salmon  and  wine.' 

The  last  outrage  I  intend  to  mention  in  this  chapter  was  a 
very  remarkable  one. 

There  was  a  contest  for  the  chairmanship  of  the  Tralee 
Board  of  Guardians.  The  Land  League  put  forward  a  candi- 
date who  was  at  the  time  an  inmate  of  Kilmainham  gaol.  The 
landlords,  who  at  this  earlier  stage  still  had  some  power, 
conceived  that  the  residence  of  the  Home  Ruler  would  not 

p 


226    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

facilitate  his  control  over  the  Board,  and  chose  a  candidate 
whose  abode  was  not  only  more  adjacent,  but  whose 
movements  were  unfettered. 

The  voting  was  even,  until  Mr.  A.  E.  Herbert  came  into 
the  room  and  gave  his  casting  vote  against  the  involuntary 
tenant  of  the  Kilmainham  hostelry.  For  this  he  was  murdered 
three  days  later,  and  by  the  crime  they  hoped  to  ensure  that 
on  the  next  occasion  the  landlords  would  abstain  from  voting 
at  all. 

That  murder  of  Mr.  Arthur  Herbert  on  his  return  from 
Petty  Sessions  at  Castleisland  was  one  of  the  worst,  and  as  an 
exhibition  of  infernal  hatred  and  vengeance  it  transcended  the 
murders  of  Lord  Mountmorres  and  Lord  Leitrim.  It  cannot 
be  denied  that  Mr.  Herbert  committed  acts  of  a  harsh  and 
overbearing  character.  He  was  a  turbulent,  headstrong  man, 
brave  to  rashness  and  foolhardiness,  and  too  fond  of  pro- 
claiming his  contempt  for  the  people  by  whom  he  was 
surrounded.  As  a  magistrate,  sitting  at  Brosna  Petty  Sessions, 
he  expressed  his  regret  that  he  was  not  in  command  of  a  force 
when  a  riot  occurred  in  that  village,  when  he  would  have 
'  skivered  the  people  with  buckshot,'  language  brought 
under  the  notice  of  the  Lord  Chancellor  and  the  House  of 
Commons, 

He  was  the  son  of  a  clergyman,  and  lived  at  Killeentierna 
House  with  his  mother,  a  venerable  old  lady  over  eighty,  he 
being  himself  forty-five.  His  income  was  estimated  at  about 
four  hundred  a  year,  and  as  his  relations  with  tenantry  were  not 
harmonious,  he  never  went  out  without  a  six -chambered 
revolver  in  his  pocket.  Physically  he  was  very  robust — over 
five  feet  ten  in  height,  and  very  corpulent.  In  his  own 
neighbourhood  he  always  was  known  as  '  Mr.  Arthur.' 

Leaving  Castleisland  about  five  in  the  afternoon,  he  was 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME         227 

accompanied  for  about  a  mile  by  the  head  constable,  who  then 
turned  back.  Mr.  Herbert  had  not  proceeded  a  quarter  of  a 
mile  further  when  he  was  felled  by  the  assassins.  The  spot 
chosen  was  singularly  open,  no  shelter  being  visible  for  some 
distance.  Several  shots  were  heard  by  a  labourer  at  work  in  a 
quarry,  and  when  he  came  up  he  found  Mr.  Herbert  lying  on 
his  face  in  the  road,  quite  dead,  the  earth  about  him  being 
covered  with  pools  of  blood.  The  body  was  almost  riddled 
with  shot  and  bullets. 

That  night  a  further  illustration  of  the  vindictive  ferocity 
of  the  outrage  was  given.  The  lawn  in  front  of  Killeen- 
tierna  was  patrolled  regularly  by  some  of  the  large  body  of 
police  which  at  once  occupied  the  house.  On  this  lawn  eleven 
lambs  were  grazing.  At  half-past  two  these  were  seen  by  the 
police  to  be  all  right.  At  daybreak  the  eleven  were  found 
stabbed  with  pitchforks — nine  of  them  killed  outright,  and 
two  wounded  to  death.  This  act,  as  wretched  as  it  was 
daring,  added  a  new  horror  to  the  crime. 

Mr.  Herbert's  murder  was  received  with  such  exuberant 
delight  in  Kerry  that  my  steward  said  to  me  : — 

'  You  would  think,  sir,  that  rent  was  abolished  and  the  duty 
taken  off  whisky.' 

Constabulary  had  for  a  long  while  to  be  told  off  to  prevent 
his  grave  being  desecrated. 

That  is  a  pretty  tough  outrage  for  optimistic  philanthro- 
pists to  consider  when  they  are  addicted  to  announcing  how 
far  our  generations  have  progressed  from  barbarism. 

The  price  of  blood  in  Kerry  was  not  high.  For  example, 
the  men  that  murdered  FitzMaurice  were  paid  £^  for  the 
job,  and  they  had  never  seen  him  before.  His  family  had 
to  be  under  police  protection  for  five  years,  and  I  managed 
to  get  ;^iooo  subscribed  for  them  in  England,  Mr.  Froude 


228   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

taking  an  enthusiastic  and  generous  interest  in  a  very 
sad  case.  The  victim  left  two  daughters,  who  both  married 
policemen. 

One  young  and  cheery  Kerry  landlord  was  very  proud, 
about  1886,  at  the  price  of  forty  shillings  being  offered  for  his 
life  by  the  Land  League,  whereas  nearly  all  the  others  were 
only  valued  at  half  a  sovereign  apiece. 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  almost  any  one  could  have  been  shot 
at  Castleisland  if  a  sovereign  were  offered,  for  they  cared  no 
more  for  human  life  than  for  that  of  a  rat.  Parnell  himself 
would  have  been  shot  by  any  one  of  a  couple  of  dozen  fellows 
willing  to  earn  a  dishonest  living  if  a  five-pound  note  had  been 
locally  put  upon  his  head.  A  patriotic  philanthropist,  destitute 
of  the  bowels  of  compassion  and  of  every  dictate  of  humanity, 
might  have  saved  a  great  deal  of  undeserved  suffering  if  he 
had  made  this  donation  towards  his  '  removal ' — a  pretty 
euphemism  of  Land  League  coinage. 

Most  of  that  generation  are  dead,  in  gaol,  or  have  emigrated. 
It  would  take  the  deuce  of  a  big  sum  to  tempt  any  Castle- 
islander  to-day  to  commit  murder,  except  under  provocation, 
and  the  same  improvement  is  observable  all  over  Ireland.  I 
believe  a  hundred  pounds  might  be  put  on  the  head  of  the 
least  popular  agent  or  landlord,  and  he  might  walk  unscathed 
without  police  protection. 

All  that  has  been  set  forth  in  this  chapter  might  be  regarded 
as  a  heavy  indictment  of  crime  and  disorder,  but  I  cannot  avoid 
adding  one  confirmatory  piece  of  evidence,  as  eloquent  as  it  is 
accurate.  This  is  the  fearful  description  of  the  state  of  Kerry 
which  appears  in  Judge  O'Brien's  charge  to  the  Grand  Jury  at 
the  Assizes,  founded,  of  course,  on  the  report  of  outrages 
submitted  to  him.  It  is  impossible  to  guess  in  what  stronger 
words  his  opinions  would  have  been  expressed  if  the  total 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME  229 

number  of  outrages  committed  had  been  laid  before  him  ;  but 
it  is  well  known  that  only  a  few  of  those  committed  were  re- 
ported, as,  if  the  criminals  were  taken  up  and  identified,  the 
victims  would  be  likely  to  be  shot  in  revenge,  while  the  guilty 
persons,  tried  by  a  sympathising  jury,  would  obtain  acquittal 
and  popular  advertisement. 

The  charge  was  as  follows  : — 

*  Colonel  Crosbie  and  Gentlemen  of  the  Grand 
Jury  of  Kerry — I  requested  your  permission  to  defer  any 
observations  I  was  about  to  make  to  you,  in  order  that  I 
might  have  an  opportunity  of  examining  certain  returns  which 
had  been  made  to  me  containing  materials  for  forming  a 
judgment  upon  the  state  of  things  in  this  county  of  which  I 
was  put  in  possession  upon  my  arrival,  and  I  was  desirous  of 
being  afforded  an  opportunity  of  examining  these  materials  to 
try  if  I  could  discern  whether,  in  the  considerable  lapse  of 
time  that  has  happened  since  the  last  Assizes,  I  could  see  any 
reason  to  conclude  that  an  improvement  had  taken  place  in  the 
state  of  things  that  has  now  so  long  existed  in  the  County  of 
Kerry,  and  other  counties  in  the  south  of  Ireland,  to  try  if  I 
could  discern  whether  lapse  of  time  itself,  the  weariness  of  that 
state  of  things,  if  the  law  and  influences  that  lead  persons  to 
avoid  violations  of  the  law,  or  to  follow  the  pursuits  of  industry, 
had  led  in  the  end  to  any  favourable  change  in  the  state  of 
things  ;  but  I  grieve  to  say  that  it  is  not  in  my  power,  un- 
fortunately, to  announce  that  any  change  has  taken  place.  On 
the  contrary,  all  the  means  of  information  that  I  possess  lead 
to  the  unhappy  conclusion  that  there  is  no  improvement,  but 
that,  on  the  contrary,  there  exists,  even  at  this  moment,  a 
most  extraordinary  state  of  things — a  state  of  things  of  an 
unprecedented  description — nothing  short,  in  fact,  of  a  state 
of  open  war  with  all  forms  of  authority,  and  even,  I  may  say 


230  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

without  exaggeration,  with  the  necessary  institutions  of  civilised 
life. 

*  These  returns  present  a  picture  of  the  County  Kerry  such 
as  can  hardly  be  found  in  any  country  that  has  passed  the 
confines  of  natural  society  and  entered  upon  the  duties  and 
relations,  and  acknowledged  the  obligations,  of  civilised  life. 
The  law  is  defeated — perhaps  I  should  rather  say,  has  ceased 
to  exist !  Houses  are  attacked  by  night  and  day,  even  the 
midnight  terror  yielding  to  the  noonday  anxiety  of  crime  ! 
Person  and  life  are  assailed  !  The  terrified  inmates  are 
wholly  unable  to  do  anything  to  protect  themselves,  and  a 
state  of  terror  and  lawlessness  prevails  everywhere.  Even  some 
persons  who  possess  means  of  information  that  are  not  open  to 
me,  profess  to  discern  in  the  signs  of  public  feeling,  in  the 
views  of  some  hope  and  some  fear,  the  expectation  of  some- 
thing about  to  happen,  something  reaching  far  beyond  partial, 
or  local,  or  even  agrarian,  disturbance,  and  calculated  to  create 
a  greater  degree  of  alarm  than  anything  we  have  witnessed,  or 
anything  that  has  happened. 

'  When  I  come  to  compare  the  official  returns  of  crime 
with  those  of  the  preceding  period,  I  find  that  the  total  number 
of  offences  in  this  county  since  the  last  Assizes  is  somewhat 
less  in  number,  even  considerably  less  in  number,  than  in  the 
corresponding  or  the  preceding  period  of  the  former  years. 
But  the  diminution  of  number  affords  no  assurance  or  ground 
of  improvement  at  all,  because  I  find  that  the  diminution  is 
accounted  for  entirely  in  the  class  of  offences  that  acknowledges 
to  some  extent  the  power  and  influence  of  the  law,  namely,  in 
threatening  letters  and  notices,  while  the  amount  of  open  and 
actual  crime  is  greater  than  it  was  in  the  former  period,  show- 
ing that  there  is  an  increased  confidence  in  impunity,  and  that 
menace  has  given  place  to  the  deed.     Within  not  more  than 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME  231 

ten  days  from  the  time  that  I  am  now  speaking,  not  less  than 
four  examples  of  midnight  invasion  of  houses  in  this  county- 
have  occurred,  accompanied  with  all  the  usual  incidents  of  dis- 
guises and  arms,  and  the  firing  of  shots,  and  violence  threatened 
or  committed  ;  in  one  instance  the  outrage  having  been  com- 
mitted upon  the  residence  of  a  magistrate  of  this  county,  a 
man  living  with  his  family  in  his  home,  in  the  supposed 
delusive  security  of  domestic  life,  of  law,  and  respect  for 
social  station  ;  and  in  another  instance  committed  upon  a 
humble  man,  and  encountered,  I  am  glad  to  say,  in  that 
instance,  with  a  brave  resistance,  giving  an  example  of  courage 
which,  if  it  were  widely  imitated,  many  of  the  evils  that  this 
country  suffers  from  would  no  longer  exist. 

'  I  need  not  dwell  upon  the  most  aggravated  instance  of 
all  which  this  calendar  of  crime  presents — one  that  is  quite 
recent,  and  within  the  memory  of  you  all — the  murder  of 
Cornelius  Murphy,  a  humble  man,  but  one  enjoying 
apparently  the  confidence  and  respect  of  all  his  neighbours, 
who  had  done  no  harm  to  any  person,  who  was  not  conscious 
of  any  offence,  whose  house  was  invaded  at  a  still  early  hour 
of  the  evening,  and  before  the  daylight  had  departed,  by  a 
band  of  men  that  is  shown  to  have  traversed  a  considerable 
distance  of  country,  giving  opportunities  of  recognition  to 
many,  and  with  hardly  the  pretext  of  an  offence  on  his  part, 
and  in  reality  with  the  object  of  private  plunder  or  private 
hostility — one  of  those  motives  that  always  take  advantage  of 
a  state  of  disturbance  in  order  to  gratify  private  ends — slain  in 
his  own  house  in  the  presence  of  his  own  family.  Certain 
persons,  it  would  appear,  have  been  arrested  on  a  charge  of 
complicity  with  this  crime,  and  it  may  be  that  this  cruel  and 
wicked  crime  may  be  the  means  of  discovering  other  crimes, 
and  of  leading  in  the  end  to  the  detection,  if  not  to  the  con- 


232  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

viction,  of  persons  who  have  been  connected  in  them,  and 
those  who  rest  in  the  supposed  confidence  of  impunity  may 
find  the  spell  broken,  may  find  the  light  of  information  to 
reach  them,  and  may  find  in  the  end  that  the  law  will  be  able 
to  prevail;  because  it  must  be  in  the  experience  of  many  of 
you  that  it  is  unhappily  in  the  power  of  a  few  persons  who 
engage  in  this  system  of  nightly  invasion  of  houses  to  multiply 
themselves,  apparently  by  means  of  terror  and  intimidation, 
although  at  the  same  time  there  can  be  no  doubt  that,  on 
account  of  interval  of  distances,  and  for  many  such  reasons, 
there  must  be  many  such  combinations  in  this  country,  acting 
entirely  independent  of  each  other. 

'  No  person  can  be  at  a  loss  to  understand  the  misery  and 
suffering  that  arises  from  a  state  of  crime  ;  but  perhaps  all 
persons  in  the  community  do  not  equally  understand  one  form 
of  consequence  to  material  prosperity  that  results  from  it, 
I  have .  before  me  a  document  that  contains  most  terribly 
significant  evidence  of  mischief,  alike  to  all  classes  of  the 
community,  that  results  from  crime  and  a  state  of  social 
disturbance.  I  have  a  return  of  malicious  injuries  which 
form  the  subject  of  presentment  at  these  Assizes,  in  number, 
I  understand,  exceeding  all  former  precedent.  There  are  no 
less  than  eighty-six  presentments,  representing  all  forms  of 
wicked  outrage  upon  property,  a  tempest — I  might  say  with- 
out exaggeration,  a  tempest — of  violence  and  crime  that  has 
swept  over  a  considerable  portion  of  this  county.  The  claims 
amount  to  £i']00,  with  the  result  that  the  Grand  Jury  had 
presented  upon  a  certain  part  of  this  county  ^^1250,  exercising 
apparently  the  greatest  care  and  discrimination  in  reducing 
the  amount  of  the  claims,  and  this  ^1250  was  not  put  upon 
the  whole  county,  but  on  certain  parts  of  the  county,  and  the 
amount  at  the  very  least  aggravated  in  a  most  serious  degree 


MURDER,  OUTRAGE,  AND  CRIME  233 

the  weight  of  taxation  that  falls  upon  the  ratepayers  of  the 
County  Kerry,  deepening  the  difficulties  that  all  classes  alike 
must  experience  from  the  depression  of  the  times,  and  from 
the  other  burdens  they  have  to  meet  in  providing  against 
the  demands  that  are  made  upon  them. 

'  But,  of  course,  you  can  easily  understand  that  these  things 
do  not  at  all  give  you  any  idea  of  other  forms  of  material 
injury  that  arise  from  crime  and  disturbance,  in  the  loss  of 
employment  and  the  discouragement  of  capital,  the  injury  to 
trade,  and  the  multiplied  consequences  of  all  kinds  detrimental 
to  the  community  that  arise  from  insecurity  to  personal 
property  and  life.  And  to  all  those  evils  we  have  to  add 
another,  and  perhaps  the  worst  of  all — that  of  which  you  are 
all  conscious,  of  which  experience  and  observation  reaches  you 
every  day  in  all  the  forms  of  social  life — a  system  of  unseen 
terrorism,  a  system  of  terror  and  tyranny  that  the  well-disposed 
class  of  the  community  ought  to  detest  and  abhor,  and  in 
reference  to  which,  on  all  sides,  I  have  heard,  in  this  county 
and  other  counties,  one  universal  expression  of  desire — that 
some  means  should  be  found  to  put  an  end  to  it. 

'  I  possess  no  power  myself  to  effect  this  state  of  things, 
and  I  cannot  say  that  in  the  relation  to  the  law  which  you  fill 
as  members  of  the  Grand  Jury,  or  in  any  other  relation  to  the 
law,  you  possess  the  means  to  effect  it.  The  duty  of  pro- 
viding against  so  great  an  evil  existing  in  the  community — the 
duty  and  the  obligation  rests  with  others.  My  duty  is  simply 
confined  to  representing  to  you  the  state  of  things  that  exists, 
and,  indeed,  in  that  respect  I  know  that  I  am  doing  what 
is  entirely  unnecessary,  for  the  state  of  the  County  Kerry  now, 
and  for  a  period  of  five  or  six  years,  in  all  its  essential  features, 
is  known  far  beyond  the  limits  of  the  county,  to  every  single 
person  in  the  country.     I  will  merely  make  use  of  one  general 


234  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

observation — that  I  by  no  means  share  in  the  opinion  that  has 
been  expressed  as  to  the  inabiHty  to  deal  with  this  state  of 
things.  On  the  contrary,  I  entertain  the  most  perfect  con- 
fidence that  it  is  in  the  power  of  those  who  are  intrusted  with 
the  duty  of  maintaining  the  public  peace  to  re-establish  order 
and  law  and  peace  in  this  county.  And  as  my  duty  is  confined 
to  representing  that  state  of  things,  that  duty  does  not  carry  me 
to  indicate  to  those  on  whom  the  responsibility  rests  the  means 
to  attain  that  object.' 


CHAPTER    XX 


THE    EDENBURN    OUTRAGE 


In  the  early  part  of  the  winter  of  1884,  so  bad  did  the  state 
of  Kerry  become,  and  so  menacing  was  the  attitude  of  the 
Land  Leaguers  towards  myself,  that  I  felt  I  had  no  right  to 
endanger  the  lives  of  my  wife  and  daughters  by  any  longer 
permitting  them  to  reside  at  Edenburn. 

In  all  those  years,  from  1878  to  1884,  be  it  noted  that  I 
gave  more  employment  in  Kerry  than  any  one  man,  a  fact 
which  has  been  testified  to  by  different  parish  priests,  but  at 
the  same  time  I  was  agent  for  a  great  many  landlords,  and 
tried  my  level  best  to  get  in  rents  for  my  employers. 

For  this  cause  my  life  had  been  repeatedly  threatened, 
and  now,  in  November  1884,  dynamite  was  put  to  my  house, 
the  back  of  it  being  badly  blown  up.  There  were  sixteen 
individuals  in  the  house,  mostly  women  and  children,  and  an 
attempt  was  therefore  made  to  murder  them  all  in  the  effort 
to  take  the  life  of  one  individual  they  were  afraid  to  meet 
in  the  open. 

The  house  was  repaired  and  I  received  compensation  in 
due  course  from  the  County,  but  my  family  did  not  think 
after  what  had  occurred  that  Edenburn  was  a  desirable  place 
of  residence.  So  I  henceforth  resided  much  in  London,  and 
therefore  spent  a  great  deal  less  money  in  Kerry. 

Perhaps,  however,  I  had  better  be  a  little  more  diffuse 
about  what  was  known  all  over  the  British  Isles  as  the  Eden- 

235 


236  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

burn  Outrage,  but  the  bulk  of  this  chapter  will  be  drawn 
from  observations  by  members  of  my  family  and  newspaper 
accounts,  for  the  episode  left  considerably  less  impression  on 
my  mind  than  it  did  on  that  of  my  womenfolk,  and  indeed 
on  the  public,  at  the  time. 

To  show  how  matters  stood,  one  of  my  daughters  reminds 
me  that  I  gave  her  a  very  neat  revolver  as  a  present,  and 
that  whenever  she  came  back  from  school  she  always  slept 
with  it  under  her  pillow.  Moreover,  she  recollects  that 
the  customary  Sunday  afternoon  pursuit  was  to  have  revolver 
practice  at  the  garden  gate. 

There  had  been  several  episodes  of  an  ugly  nature  ;  for 
example,  one  of  my  sons  competing  in  some  sports  at  Tralee 
was  advised  to  make  an  excuse  and  to  go  home  separately 
from  the  womenfolk. 

He  took  the  hint,  and  my  wife  with  the  governess  and 
several  children  went  back  without  him  in  the  waggonette. 
About  a  mile  and  a  half  from  the  town,  just  where  the  horses 
had  to  walk  up  a  steep  hill,  a  number  of  men  with  bludgeons 
and  sticks  came  out  of  a  ditch,  peered  into  the  trap,  and 
seeing  it  contained  nothing  but  women  and  children  let  it 
pass  on  with  a  grunt  of  disgust,  whilst  they  trudged  back 
to  Tralee. 

One  of  my  daughters,  years  after,  on  being  taken  in  to 
dinner  in  London,  was  asked  by  her  companion  if  she  was 
any  relation  of  mine. 

She  having  confessed  the  fact — one  I  hope  in  no  way 
detrimental,  though  I  say  so,  perhaps,  who  should  not — 
he  mentioned  that  he  had  been  to  a  most  cheery  dance  at 
Edenburn,  which  had  made  a  great  impression  on  his  mind, 
because  for  seven  miles  along  the  road  by  which  he  and 
his    friends  drove   there    were  pickets    of   constabulary,    and 


THE  EDENBURN  OUTRAGE  237 

the  hall  table  was  piled  so  full  with  the  revolvers  brought  by 
the  guests,  that  all  the  hats  and  coats  had  to  be  taken  to  the 
smoking-room. 

It  may  be  as  well  to  again  mention  that  my  wife  during 
the  very  worst  periods  had  never  any  difficulty  in  keeping  or 
obtaining  domestic  servants.  No  doubt  the  maids  liked 
having  two  or  three  stalwart  constables  always  hanging  about 
the  place,  and  capital  odd  job  men  they  made. 

A  constable  neatly  humbugged  a  footman,  and  I  may  here 
mention  the  incident,  though  it  is  subsequent  to  the  episode 
of  this  chapter. 

One  house  we  took  in  London  was  in  Glendower  Place, 
and  when  the  servants  arrived,  my  wife  found  that  the  foot- 
man's face  was  covered  with  sticking-plaster.  He  was  a 
regular  gossoon,  though  shaped  like  a  fine  specimen  of  the 
pampered  menials  who  condescend  to  open  the  front  door  of 
large  mansions  to  their  betters. 

A  constable  had  hoaxed  him  into  believing  that  he  could 
never  walk  in  the  London  streets  without  using  firearms, 
and  having  advised  him  to  learn  to  do  so,  the  idiot  put  the 
weapon  against  his  cheek,  and  the  first  kick  had  knocked 
away  a  voluminous  portion  of  his  countenance. 

At  the  end  of  November  1884,  we  were  packing  up  to 
leave,  and  all  the  big  cases  were  in  the  stable-yard  ready  to 
be  carted  away.  There  were  five  policemen  at  the  time  in  the 
house,  and  two  of  them  were  on  sentry  duty  all  through  the 
night. 

None  of  us  had  had  good  nights  for  some  time  past,  but 
on  the  evening  of  November  29th  I  came  back  from  the 
meeting  of  the  Board  of  Guardians  at  Listowel,  and  said  to 
my  wife  as  we  sat  down  to  dinner  : — 

'  After  all,  we  are  starting  for  England  to-morrow  morning 


238   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

without  any  necessity,  for  I  do  believe  the  country  is  begin- 
ning to  settle  down.' 

This  is  the  only  occasion  on  which  I  ever  ventured  on  a 
cheerful  prophecy  since  Ireland  came  under  the  baneful  spell 
of  Mr.  Gladstone,  and  it  was  the  most  foolish  remark  I  ever 
made. 

That  night  came  the  explosion,  but  I  prefer  to  let  the 
press  tell  the  tale. 

The  Manchester  Guardian  relates  : — 

'  The  explosive  matter  was  placed  under  an  area  in  the 
basement  story,  dynamite  being  the  agent  employed  for  the 
outrage.  A  large  aperture  was  made  in  the  wall,  which  is 
three  feet  thick.  Several  large  rents  running  to  the  top  have 
been  made,  and  it  now  presents  a  most  dilapidated  appearance. 
The  ground-floor,  where  the  explosion  occurred,  was  used  as 
a  larder,  and  everything  in  it  was  smashed  to  pieces,  the  glass 
window-frames  and  shutters  being  shivered  into  atoms.  On 
the  three  stories  above  it,  the  explosion  produced  a  similar 
effect.  To  the  right  of  it,  one  of  Mr.  Hussey's  daughters 
was  sleeping,  and  the  window  of  her  room  was  entirely  de- 
stroyed. Mr.  J.  E.  Hussey,  J. P.,  slept  in  another  room 
about  thirty  feet  from  the  scene  of  the  explosion,  and  his 
window  and  room  fared  similarly.  The  butler  slept  in  a 
small  room  on  the  basement,  which  was  completely  wrecked, 
the  windows  being  shattered  to  pieces,  the  lamp  and  toilet 
broken,  and  the  greater  part  of  the  ceiling  thrown  on  him  in 
the  bed.  The  length  of  the  house  is  about  fifty  yards,  and 
the  windows  in  the  back,  numbering  twenty-six,  have  been 
altogether  destroyed.  Mr.  S.  M.  Hussey  and  his  wife  slept 
in  the  front,  and  they  were  much  affected  by  the  explosion. 
Three  policemen  who  had  been  stationed  in  the  house  for  the 
past  couple  of  years  slept  on  a  ground-floor  in  front.     The 


THE  EDENBURN  OUTRAGE  239 

coach-house  and  stables  near  the  house  were  considerably 
damaged.  In  the  garden  two  greenhouses,  one  about  120 
yards  away,  and  the  other  fully  150,  were  injured,  the  greater 
portion  of  the  glass  being  broken  and  the  roofs  shaken.  In 
several  houses  at  long  distances  the  shock  was  plainly  felt. 
The  dwelling-house  subsequently  presented  a  very  wrecked 
appearance.  On  looking  at  the  back  of  it,  there  are  several 
rents  or  cracks  to  be  seen  in  the  solid  masonry,  and  the 
slates  are  shaken  and  displaced.  Everything  shows  the  terrific 
force  of  the  explosion.  In  the  yard  a  large  slate-house  was 
much  damaged,  the  slates  being  displaced  and  the  roof  shaken 
and  cracked.  A  large  stone  was  found  here,  having  been 
blown  from  the  dwelling-house.' 

From  the  Times  may  be  culled  these  additional  particulars  : 
'  There  is  a  fissure  some  inches  wide  in  the  main  wall  from 
the  ground  to  the  roof,  and  a  little  more  force  would  have 
effected  the  evident  object  of  making  the  residence  of  the 
obnoxious  agent  a  heap  of  ruins.  The  damage  done  is 
estimated  at  from  £1000  to  ;^3000,  but  this  is  only  a  rough 
conjecture.' 

The  Cork  Constitutional  throws  further  light  in  a  some- 
what badly  expressed  article  : — 

'  The  most  extraordinary  circumstance  connected  with  the 
outrage  is  the  secrecy  and  stealth  which  must  have  been 
resorted  to  in  order  to  avoid  detection.  It  was  well  known 
in  the  neighbourhood  that  not  alone  were  three  policemen 
constantly  at  Edenburn  for  Mr.  Hussey's  protection,  but  that 
a  number  of  dogs  were  also  kept  on  the  premises,  and  it 
is,  therefore,  astonishing  the  care  and  caution  which  must  have 
been  resorted  to  in  order  to  successfully  lay  and  explode  the 
destructive  material.  Some  idea  of  the  force  of  the  explosion 
as  well  as  the  stability  of  the  building  which  resisted  it  in  a 


240  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

measure,  may  be  gathered  from  the  fact  that  it  was  distinctly- 
heard  in  the  town  of  Castleisland  four  miles  away.  Mr.  R. 
Roche,  J. P.,  who  lives  a  mile  from  Edenburn,  also  distinctly 
heard  the  explosion,  which  he  describes  as  resembling  in  sound 
that  caused  by  the  fall  of  a  huge  tree  in  close  proximity. 
Those  who  were  at  Edenburn  at  the  time  state  that  between 
four  and  half-past  four  a  low  rumbling  noise,  followed  by  a 
sharp  report,  was  heard.  The  house  trembled  and  shook  to 
its  foundations.  The  inmates,  some  of  whom  were  only 
awakened  by  the  shock,  were  seized  with  an  indescribable 
terror.  All  the  windows  were  smashed  to  atoms,  the  furni- 
ture and  fixtures  in  the  interior  were  rattled,  and  some  lighter 
articles  disturbed  from  their  position.  The  suddenness  of  the 
alarm,  and  the  darkness  of  the  night,  coupled  with  an  in- 
definite idea  as  to  the  nature  and  extent  of  the  explosion, 
made  the  occupants  of  the  house  afraid  to  stir,  and  it  was  not 
until  some  servants  living  adjacent  arrived  that  the  con- 
sternation caused  in  the  household  subsided  sufficiently  to 
enable  them  to  examine  the  house,  and  judge  of  the  narrow 
escape  they  had  had  from  a  violent  and  horrible  death.' 

The  consternation  most  decidedly  did  not  spread  to 
the  master  and  mistress  of  the  establishment.  The  Kerry 
Sentinel  quickly  had  an  allusion  to  '  a  report  that  Mr. 
Hussey  turned  into  bed  after  the  outrage  with  one  of  his 
laconic  jokes — that  he  should  be  called  when  the  next  ex- 
plosion occurred.' 

As  a  matter  of  fact  what  I  did  say  was  : — 

*  My  dear,  we  can  have  a  quiet  night  at  last,  for  the 
scoundrels  won't  bother  us  again  before  breakfast.' 

And  I  can  solemnly  testify  that  within  ten  minutes  of  that 
observation  I  was  fast  asleep,  and  never  woke  till  I  was 
called. 


THE  EDENBURN  OUTRAGE  241 

But  perhaps  the  best  impression  of  what  occurred  can  be 
obtained  from  the  recollection  of  my  daughter  Florence, 
now  Mrs.  Nicoll,  who  was  an  inmate  of  Edenburn  at  the 
time. 

'  I  was  awakened  by  a  terrific  noise,  which  to  my  sleepy 
wits  conveyed  the  impression  that  the  roof  had  fallen  in.  It 
was  then  between  three  and  four  in  the  morning.  I  lit  a 
candle  and  ran  out  into  the  passage  where  were  congregat- 
ing my  family  in  night  attire.  My  father  was  perfectly 
calm. 

'  "  Dynamite  and  badly  managed,"  was  his  laconic  explana- 
tion. We  all  asked  each  other  if  we  were  hurt,  and  began 
to  be  alarmed  about  my  brother  John,  who,  however,  put  in 
an  appearance  in  a  singularly  attenuated  nightshirt,  with  a 
candle  in  one  hand  and  a  revolver  in  the  other,  with  which 
he  was  rubbing  his  sleepy  eyes. 

*  "  Singular  time  of  night,  John,  to  try  chemical  experiments 
without  our  permission,  is  it  not  } "   said  my  father. 

'  Then  John  and  my  mother  went  downstairs  to  inspect 
the  premises  ;  of  the  back  windows,  thirty-four  in  number, 
there  was  not  a  bit  of  glass  as  big  as  a  threepenny  piece  left. 
Our  brougham  was  in  the  yard  ;  the  window  next  the  ex- 
plosion was  intact,  but  the  one  on  the  further  side  was  blown 
to  smithereens. 

'  The  servants  were  very  scared,  and  one  maid  having 
rushed  straight  to  a  sitting-room,  was  there  found  hysterically 
embracing  a  sofa  cushion. 

'  We  received  one  odd  claim  for  compensation.  An 
old  woman  living  half  a  mile  off  complained  that  the  force 
of  the  explosion  had  knocked  some  of  the  plaster  off 
the  wall,  and  that  it  had  fallen  into  a  pan  full  of  milk, 
spoiling  it. 

Q 


242  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

'  Whilst  we  were  all  chattering  about  the  outrage,  father 
said  : — 

'  "  Don't  be  uneasy  about  a  mere  dynamite  explosion  ;  it 's 
like  an  Irishman's  pig,  you  want  it  to  go  one  way  and  it 
invariably  goes  in  the  other." 

'  And  with  that  he  went  off  to  bed  again,  with  the  remark 
about  having  a  quiet  night  which  he  has  mentioned  earlier  in 
this  chapter. 

'  The  only  other  thing  which  I  now  recall  is,  that  a  detach- 
ment of  the  Buffs  in  the  neighbourhood  had  found  us  the 
only  people  to  entertain  them. 

*  On  being  told  that  Edenburn  had  been  blown  up,  one  of 
them  said  : — 

'  *'  They  were  the  only  neighbours  we  had  to  talk  to,  and 
the  brutes  would  not  leave  us  them  as  a  convenience." ' 

The  Cork  correspondent  of  the  Times  wrote  : — 

'  Among  the  general  body  of  the  people  of  Kerry,  the 
news  of  the  attempt  to  blow  up  Mr.  Hussey's  house  at 
Edenburn  caused  comparatively  little  excitement.  In  the 
County  Club  at  Tralee,  the  announcement  was  received  with 
something  like  a  panic.  Hitherto,  persons  who  considered 
themselves  in  danger  were  careful  to  be  within  their  homes 
before  darkness  had  set  in,  and  when  going  abroad  had  a 
following  of  police  for  their  protection.  Now  it  is  shown 
that  their  houses  may  prove  but  a  sorry  shelter,  even  when 
a  protective  force  of  police  is  about,  and  it  is  no  wonder  that, 
with  the  terrible  example  furnished  in  this  instance  of  the 
daring  of  those  who  commit  foul  crimes,  the  class  against 
whom  the  outrages  are  directed  should  be  filled  with  fears  for 
the  future.  The  people  generally  show  but  small  interest  in 
the  occurrence. 

'  The  attempt  to  blow  up  Mr.  Hussey's  dwelling  is  the 


THE  EDENBURN  OUTRAGE  243 

first  of  its  kind  in  Kerry,  and  the  third  that  has  been 
made  in  Ireland.  Within  the  past  few  years  the  districts 
of  Castleisland  and  Tralee  have  been  distinguished  for  the 
number  and  ferocity  of  the  outrages  that  were  committed 
there.' 

I  am  also  tempted  to  quote  from  the  '  Leader '  in  the 
Times  on  the  outrage  : — 

'  Mr.  Hussey  has  a  reputation,  not  confined  to  Ireland, 
as  an  able,  fearless,  and  vigorous  land  agent,  the  best  type  of 
a  much  abused  class  of  men  who  have  endured  contumely 
and  faced  dangers,  by  day  and  night,  in  order  to  protect  the 
rights  of  property  intrusted  to  them. 

*  It  appears  that,  owing  to  the  disturbed  state  of  the  locality, 
he  intended  to  leave  it  for  the  winter  ;  and  this  probably 
being  known  to  his  enemies,  they  made  an  effort  to  destroy 
him  before  he  got  beyond  their  reach.  He,  at  all  events, 
seems  to  have  been  under  the  spell  of  no  pleasing  illusion  as 
to  the  supposed  tranquillity  and  the  reign  of  order.  On  the 
contrary,  he  is  alleged  to  have  stated  that  more  outrages 
than  ever  are  committed,  and  that  but  for  the  deterrent  force 
employed  by  the  Government,  there  would  be  no  living  in 
the  country.  .  .  .  This  is  the  opinion  of  the  majority  of 
Englishmen.  They  are  not  all  satisfied  that  the  spirit  of 
lawlessness  and  disorder  is  rooted  out ;  and  they  will  find 
only  too  strong  confirmation  of  their  doubts  in  the  reckless 
violence  of  the  National  Press,  and  in  the  attempt — marked 
by  novel  features  of  atrocity — to  destroy  Mr.  Hussey's  house- 
hold.' 

As  for  the  National  Press,  it  indulged  in  an  ecstasy  of 
enthusiasm  over  the  perpetration,  combined  with  intense 
disgust  '  at  the  miscarriage  of  justice  '  of  my  having  escaped 
without  hurt  or  more    than    very  temporary  inconvenience. 


244  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

On  my  departure,  one  eloquent  writer  compared  me  to 
*  Macduff  taking  his  babes  and  bandboxes  to  England,'  a 
choice  simile  I  have  always  appreciated. 

The  United  Ireland  of  December  6,  1884,  i^  ^ 
characteristic  leaderette,  headed  '  A  very  suspicious  affair,' 
observes : — 

'  We  should  like  to  know  by  what  right  the  newspapers 
speak  of  the  affair  as  "  a  dynamite  outrage  "  ?  A  very  curious 
surmise  has  been  put  forward  locally,  namely,  that  the  house 
had  been  stricken  by  lightning.  The  shattering  of  a  building 
by  lightning  is  by  no  means  phenomenal,  and  the  absence  of 
all  trace  of  any  terrestrial  explosive  agency,  gives  colour  to 
the  hypothesis  that  the  destruction  was  due  to  meteorological 
causes.' 

With  one  last  quotation  I  cease  to  draw  upon  what  may  be 
termed  outside  contributions,  and  it  is  one  which  gratified  me 
at  the  time. 

It  is  taken  from  the  Cork  Examiner  of  December  12, 
1884:— 

'  Dear  Sir, — Authoritative  statements  having  been  made 
in  the  Press  and  elsewhere,  that  some  persons  living  in 
Mr.  Hussey's  immediate  neighbourhood  must  have  been 
the  perpetrators  of  the  horrible  outrage,  or,  at  least,  must 
have  given  active  and  guilty  assistance  to  the  principal  parties 
concerned  in  it  ;  now  we,  the  undersigned,  tenants  on  the 
property,  and  living  in  the  closest  proximity  to  Edenburn 
House  and  demesne,  take  this  opportunity  of  declaring  in 
the  most  public  and  solemn  manner  that  neither  directly  nor 
indirectly,  by  word  or  deed,  by  counsel  or  approval,  had  we 
any  participation  in  the  tragic  disaster  of  November  28. 
The  relations  hitherto  existing  between  Mr.  Hussey  and  us 
have  ever  been  of  the  most  friendly  character.     As  a  landlord. 


THE  EDENBURN  OUTRAGE  245 

his  dealings  with  us  were  such  as  gave  unqualified  satisfaction 
and  were  marked  by  justice,  impartiality,  and  very  great  in- 
dulgence. As  a  neighbour  he  was  extremely  kind  and 
obliging,  ready  whenever  applied  to,  to  help  us,  as  far  as 
he  was  able,  in  every  difficulty  or  trial  in  which  we  might 
be  placed.  The  bare  suspicion,  therefore,  of  being  ever  so 
remotely  connected  with  the  recent  explosion,  is,  to  us, 
a  source  of  the  deepest  pain,  a  suspicion  we  repudiate 
with  honest  indignation.  Furthermore,  the  singular  charity, 
benevolence,  and  amiability  of  Mrs.  Hussey  are  long  and 
intimately  known  to  us.  We  witness  almost  daily  her  bounti- 
ful treatment  of  the  poor,  and  tender  care  of  the  sick  and 
infirm.  Her  ears  never  refuse  to  listen  with  sympathy  to 
every  tale  of  distress,  nor  will  she  hesitate  with  her  own  hands 
to  wash  and  dress  the  festering  wounds  and  sores  of  those 
who  flock  to  her  from  all  the  surrounding  parishes.  With 
such  knowledge  as  this,  we  should  indeed  be  worse  than 
fiends  did  we  raise  a  hand  against  the  Hussey  family,  or 
engage  in  any  enterprise  that  would  necessitate  their  departure 
from  among  us  : — 

'  Richard  Fitzgerald.         Daniel  Neill. 

Denis  Daly.  John  Daly. 

John  Reynolds.  Thomas  Connor. 

Cornelius  Daly.  Jeremiah  Connor. 

William  Hogan.  Thomas  Shanahen. 

Darby  Leary.  Michael  Moynihar. 

John  Mason.  Widow  Aherne. 

Jeremiah  Dinan.  James  O'Sullivan. 

J.  O'Connell.  John  M'Elligott. 

John  Neligan.  Henry  Gentleman.' 

As   for  those   really  concerned,   people  tell   me   that   the 
three   implicated  in  the  dynamite   business  are  all    dead    in 


246  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

America,  and  if  the  information  is  accurate  no  local  person 
was  connected  with  the  explosion,  though  the  miscreants  were, 
of  course,  housed  in  the  immediate  vicinity. 

There  was  one  delicious  incident. 

The  local  branch  of  the  Land  League  at  Castleisland 
refused  to  pay  any  reward  to  the  dynamiters  because  we 
had  not  been  killed,  and  the  leading  miscreant  actually  fired 
at  the  treasurer.  Eventually  the  passages  to  America  of 
all  the  triumvirate  were  paid,  and  they  thought  it  discreet 
to  quit  the  country,  cursing  their  own  stingy  executive  even 
more  deeply  than  they  blasphemed  against  the  Law  and 
execrated  me. 

A  man  from  the  neighbourhood  subsequently  wrote  to 
me  from  London  that  he  could  tell  me  who  perpetrated 
the  Edenburn  outrage. 

I  told  him  to  call  on  me  at  the  Union  Club,  of  which 
I  was  then  a  member,  and  informed  him — his  name  was 
O'Brien — I  would  arrange  with  the  Home  Office,  in  the 
event  of  his  information  being  valuable,  that  he  should  get 
a  reward. 

He  replied  that  his  life  was  in  danger  in  London  from 
another  Fenian. 

I  went  to  the  Home  Office  and  saw  Mr.  Jenkinson  on 
the  subject.  He  asked  me  to  send  O'Brien  down  to  him 
and  he  would  settle  matters,  adding  that  he  had  reason  for 
believing  that  the  story  of  threats  from  another  scoundrel 
was  true. 

I  saw  O'Brien  and  told  him  to  call  on  Mr.  Jenkinson. 

He  answered  that  he  would  go,  but  he  never  did,  and 
Mr.  Jenkinson  subsequently  told  me  that  the  Land  League 
scented  he  was  going  to  prove  a  troublesome  informer,  so 
they  practically  outbid   the   Government  by  paying  O'Brien 


THE  EDENBURN  OUTRAGE  247 

a  large  sum,  which  was  handed  to  him  on  the  steamer  as  it 
was  starting  for  America. 

From  that  time,  until  I  have  been  recalling  the  incidents 
of  the  explosion  for  this  book,  I  have  never  given  a  thought 
to  the  affair  and  not  mentioned  it  half  a  dozen  times  in  the 
twenty  years  that  have  elapsed. 


CHAPTER    XXI 

MORE    ATROCITIES    AND    LAND    CRIMES 

I  BROUGHT  my  family  back  to  Kerry  in  the  following  summer, 
and  after  I  had  rebuilt  Edenburn  I  lived  there  until  I  gave  it 
to  my  elder  son,  who  has  it  to  this  day  and  resides  there  in 
peace. 

Matters  were  very  different  to  that  state  of  idyllic 
simplicity  in  the  critical  times  on  which  I  am  still  dwelling. 

One  night,  while  in  London,  I  was  at  the  House  of 
Commons,  and  the  London  correspondent  of  the  Freeman^ 
being  presumably  extremely  short  of  what  he  would  term 
*  copy,'  he  proceeded  to  make  observations  about  me  after 
this  fashion  : — 

'  Over  here  Mr.  Hussey  is  something  of  a  fish  out  of 
water.  It  would  be  hazardous  to  say  that  if  he  was  to  begin 
his  career  as  an  agent  again  he  would  eschew  the  system  that 
has  made  him  famous,  but  his  present  frame  of  mind  is 
unquestionably  one  of  doubt  as  to  whether,  after  all,  the 
game  was  worth  the  candle.' 

That  young  man  will  go  far  as  a  writer  of  fiction, 

I  received,  among  more  pleasant  welcomes  on  my  return 
to  my  native  land,  the  following  delightful  blast  of  vitupera- 
tion from  the  Irish  Citizen,  and  beg  to  tender  the  unknown 
author  my  profound  thanks  for  the  diversion  his  ink-slinging 
afforded  me  : — 

'  Here  is  something  about  a  man  who  ought  to  have  been 

248 


MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES     249 

murdered  any  day  since  1879 — indeed  we  don't  know  that  he 
should  have  been  let  live  even  up  to  that  date,  and  as  for  his 
family,  their  translation  to  the  upper  regions  by  means  of  a 
simple  charge  of  dynamite,  which  nobody  of  any  sense  or 
importance  would  even  think  of  condemning,  has  been  most 
unaccountably  deferred  to  the  present  year.  This  man  is 
Mr.  S.  M.  Hussey,  the  miasma  of  whose  breath,  according 
to  a  well-informed  murder  organ  in  Dublin,  poisons  one-half 
of  the  kingdom  of  Kerry.  Let  any  man  read  the  speeches 
delivered  in  Upper  Sackville  Street,  and  the  articles  in  United 
Ireland  against  Mr.  Hussey,  and  he  must  ask  why  the  fiend 
incarnate  has  not  been  murdered  long  since.  The  infamy 
of  persistently  turning  hatred  on  a  man  like  Mr.  Hussey, 
and  then  escaping  the  consequences  of  having  thereby  murdered 
him,  has  no  parallel  in  any  country  in  the  world.  Inciting 
to  murder  is  practically  reduced  to  a  science  in  Ireland. 
That  Mr.  Hussey  has  not  been  murdered  years  ago  is 
not  the  fault  of  the  scientist,  but  the  watchfulness  of  the 
police.' 

My  experience  while  in  England  had  been  that  few  people 
I  met  really  appreciated  what  boycotting  was  like,  so  how  are 
my  readers  of  twenty  years  afterwards  to  do  so  }  Yet  when 
I  went  back  to  Ireland,  it  seemed  to  me  even  more  cruel 
than  when  I  had  grown  comparatively  accustomed  by  sheer 
proximity  to  it. 

Mr.  Parnell  had  himself  given  the  order  in  a  public 
speech  : — 

'  Shun  the  man  who  bids  for  a  farm  from  which  a  tenant 
has  been  evicted,  shun  him  in  the  street,  in  the  shop,  in  the 
marketplace,  even  in  the  place  of  worship,  as  if  he  were  a 
leper  of  old.' 

This  was  done  with  the  thoroughness  which  characterises 


2  50  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Irishmen  when  back-sliding  into  unimaginable  cruelties. 
Should  a  boycotted  man  enter  chapel,  the  whole  congrega- 
tion rose  as  with  one  accord  and  left  him  alone  in  the 
building.  Considering  the  sensitive  and  pious  disposition 
of  the  average  Irishman,  such  ostracism  was  even  more 
poignant  than  it  would  be  to  an  Englishman. 

Only  two  families  in  Kerry,  possibly  in  Munster,  at 
Christmas  1885,  had  the  courage  to  resist  the  National 
League  police,  commonly  called  moonlighters.  These  two 
were  the  Curtins  and  the  Doyles.  The  Curtins  had  to  be 
under  constant  police  protection,  were  insulted  wherever  they 
went,  and  their  murdered  father  was  openly  called  '  the 
murderer.'  As  for  the  Doyles,  the  Board  of  Guardians 
was  urged  to  harass  his  unfortunate  children,  who  were  both 
deaf  and  dumb. 

The  same  Board  of  Guardians  was  most  lavish  in  its 
relief  to  any  man  evicted  for  declining  to  pay  his  rent. 
In  one  case  they  gave  a  man  fifteen  shillings  a  week — or 
treble  the  ordinary  out-of-door  relief — for  over  six  years. 

Sir  James  Stephen,  a  man  of  acute  discriminations,  who 
has  done  more  justice  to  the  Irish  problem  than  any  one  else, 
wrote  : — 

'The  great  difficulty  the  Land  League  and  the  National 
League  have  had  to  contend  with  is  that  of  hindering  the 
neighbouring  farmers,  peasants,  and  labourers  from  frustrating 
the  strike  against  rent  by  taking  up  vacant  farms,  however 
they  came  to  be  vacant.  Boycotting  never  succeeded  unless 
crime  was  at  its  back.  The  Crimes  Act  cut  the  ground  from 
under  the  feet  of  the  boycotters,  not  so  much  by  its  direct 
prohibitions  of  the  practice  as  by  making  it  unsafe  to  commit 
outrages  in  enforcing  the  law  of  the  League.  The  Land 
League  and  the  National  League  were  nothing  else  but  screens 


MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES    251 

for  secret  societies  whose  work  was  to  enforce  the  League 
decrees  by  outrage  and  murder.' 

Whenever  the  '  History  of  Modern  Ireland '  comes  to 
be  written,  that  glowing  outburst  of  truth  ought  to  be 
quoted. 

There  were  some  evictions  carried  out  at  Farranfore  on 
the  estate  of  Lord  Kenmare,  by  the  sub-sheriff,  Mr.  Harnett, 
and  a  force  of  military  and  police  numbering  about  one 
hundred  and  thirty. 

During  the  eviction  of  one  Daly,  horns  were  blown  and 
the  chapel  bell  set  ringing.  These  appeals  drew  about  three 
thousand  people  to  the  place,  who  groaned  and  threw  some 
stones,  besides  growing  so  menacing  that  the  Riot  Act  had  to 
be  read,  upon  which  the  whole  crowd  moved  off. 

This  brought  a  characteristic  effusion  from  United 
Ireland : — 

'  We  remember  the  time  when  Kerry  was  a  county  as 
quiet  as  the  grave,  when  its  member,  Henry  A.  Herbert, 
in  the  debate  on  the  Westminster  Act  of  1871,  was  able  to 
rise  in  his  place  and  boast  that  in  purely  Celtic  counties  like 
his  there  was  no  crime,  and  that  agrarian  outrages  was  con- 
fined to  districts  infused  with  English  blood,  like  Meath  and 
Tipperary.  What  has  changed  it  ^  Principally  the  mal- 
practices of  a  couple  of  agents  ruling  over  half  its  area, 
whose  bloated  rentals  grow  swollen  under  their  hands  with 
the  sweat  of  dumb  and  hopeless  possessors.' 

Whatever  else  he  possessed,  that  writer  had  not  one 
vestige  of  truth  with  which  to  cover  the  indecency  of  his 
misrepresentations. 

He  did  not  mention  that  Mr.  Matthew  Harris,  a  Member 
for  Galway,  had  publicly  observed  that  if  the  tenant  farmers 
of  Ireland   shot  down  landlords  as   partridges   are   shot   in 


252  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

the  month  of  September,  he  would  never  say  a  word  against 
them. 

It  is  a  fact  that  the  convulsion  of  horror  at  the  murder 
of  Lord  Frederick  Cavendish  alone  prevented  an  organised 
campaign  for  the  '  removal '  of  Irish  landlords  on  a  systematic 
and  wholesale  scale. 

By  the  way,  according  to  his  son,  it  was  quite  by  chance 
that  Professor  MahafFy — that  illustrious  ornament  of  Trinity 
College — was  not  also  murdered.  He  had  intended  to  walk 
over  with  poor  Mr.  Burke  after  the  entry  of  the  Viceroy  and 
Chief  Secretary,  but  he  was  detained  by  an  undergraduate 
and  so  found  it  too  late  to  catch  the  doomed  victim  before 
he  started.  Had  he  walked  with  them,  it  is  questionable  if 
the  murderers  would  have  attacked  three  men  :  on  the 
other  hand,  he  might,  of  course,  have  been  added  to  the 
slain. 

There  was  a  meeting  of  Lord  Kenmare's  and  Mr.  Herbert 
of  Muckross's  tenants  at  Killarney  addressed  by  Mr.  Sheehan, 
M.P.,  who  advised  them,  as  the  landlords  refused  70  per  cent, 
only  to  offer  50  per  cent.,  and  nothing  at  all  in  March  (1887), 
as  by  that  time  the  new  Irish  Parliament  would  have  allotted 
the  land  free  to  the  present  holders,  without  any  compensation 
to  the  landlords. 

Despite  the  efforts  of  traitors  on  both  sides  of  the  Channel, 
that  Irish  Parliament  has  not  yet  been  summoned. 

The  parish  priest,  Mr.  Sheehy,  stopped  the  Limerick 
hunting,  and  so  took  _^ 24,000  a  year  out  of  the  pockets  of 
the  very  poor.  That  man  did  more  harm  than  the  landlords, 
who  alone  gave  the  poor  work,  and  there  is  no  doubt  that 
many  of  the  worst  crimes  were  instigated  and  indirectly 
suggested  from  the  altar. 

At  this  point  I  want  to  interpose  with  one  word  to  the 


MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES    253 

reader  to  beg  him  not  to  regard  this  as  either  a  connected 
narrative  of  crime,  much  less  a  regular  essay  with  proper 
deductions — the  trimmings  to  the  joint — but  only  a  series  of 
observations  as  I  recall  events  which  impressed  me,  and  which 
I  think  may  come  home  with  some  force  to  a  happier  genera- 
tion that  knew  neither  Parnelhsm  nor  crime.  To  write  a 
consecutive  and  connected  history  of  these  atrocities  would  be 
to  compile  a  volume  of  horrors.  I  prefer  to  give  a  few 
recollections  of  outrages,  and  to  let  the  direct  simplicity  of 
these  terrible  reminiscences  impress  those  who  have  bowels  of 
compassion. 

A  gentleman  named  Nield  was  killed  in  Mayo,  simply 
because  he  was  mistaken  for  my  son  Maurice.  This  was  in 
broad  daylight,  in  the  town  of  Charlestown.  It  was  raining 
hard  at  the  time — a  thing  so  common  in  Ireland  that  no  one 
mentions  it  any  more  than  they  do  the  fact  of  the  daily  paper 
appearing  each  morning — and  the  unfortunate  victim  had  an 
umbrella  up,  so  the  mob  could  not  see  his  face.  They  shouted, 
'  Here  's  Hussey,'  and  tried  to  pull  him  off  the  car,  but  the 
parish  priest  stopped  this.  However,  before  he  could  reduce 
the  villains  to  the  fear  of  the  Church,  which  does  affect  them 
more  than  the  fear  of  the  Law,  they  gave  poor  Nield  a  blow 
on  the  head,  and,  though  he  lived  for  six  months,  he  never 
recovered. 

Another  time,  when  returning  to  his  house  in  Mayo  from 
Ballyhaunis,  on  a  dark  night,  my  son  Maurice  found  a  wall 
built,  about  eighteen  inches  high,  across  the  road,  for  the 
express  purpose  of  upsetting  him.  It  was  only  by  the  grace 
of  God — as  they  say  in  Kerry — and  his  own  careful  driving, 
that  he  was  preserved. 

In  those  same  Land  League  times,  my  son  was  a  prominent 
gentleman  rider.    At  Abbeyfeale  races  he  rode  in  a  green  jacket 


254  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

and  won  the  race,  which  produced  a  lot  of  enthusiasm,  the 
crowd  not  knowing  who  it  was  sporting  the  popular  colour. 
They  only  heard  it  was  my  son  after  he  had  left  the  course, 
whereupon  a  mob  rushed  to  the  station,  and  the  police  had 
to  stand  four  deep  outside  the  carriage  window  to  protect  him, 
to  say  nothing  of  an  extra  guard  at  the  station  gates. 

The  cordiality  of  my  fellow-countrymen  also  provided  me 
with  another  disturbed  night  at  Aghadoe,  which  I  had  leased 
from  Lord  Headley. 

To  quiet  the  apprehensions  of  my  family,  and  also  to 
relieve  the  mind  of  the  D.I,  from  anxiety  about  my  tough 
old  self,  there  were  always  five  police  in  the  house,  and  two 
on  sentry  duty  all  night. 

On  this  particular  date,  about  two  o'clock  in  the  morning, 
we  were  aroused  by  hearing  shots  fired  in  the  wood  below  the 
house,  the  plan  of  the  miscreants  being  to  draw  the  police  away 
from  the  house.  As  this  did  not  succeed,  a  second  party  began 
a  counter  demonstration  in  another  quarter.  The  theory  is 
that  a  third  party  wanted  to  approach  the  house  from  the  back 
in  the  temporary  absence  of  the  constabulary,  and  disseminate 
the  house,  its  contents,  and  the  inhabitants  into  the  air  and  the 
immediate  vicinity  by  the  gentle  and  persuasive  influence  of 
dynamite. 

However,  the  police  were  not  to  be  tricked,  and  soon  the 
fellows,  having  grown  apprehensive,  or  having  exhausted  all 
their  ammunition,  were  heard  driving  off.  Signs  of  blood 
were  found  on  the  road  towards  Beaufort  next  morning,  so 
the  attacking  force  suffered  some  inconvenience  in  return  for 
giving  us  a  bad  night. 

Lord  Morris,  among  a  group  of  acquaintances  in  Dublin, 
pointing  to  me,  said  : — 

'That's   the   Jack  Snipe  who    provided  winter   shootmg 


MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES    255 

for  the  whole  of  Kerry,  and  not  one  of  them  could  wing 
him.' 

'  Mighty  poor  sport  they  got  out  of  it,'  I  answered,  '  and 
I  have  an  even  worse  opinion  of  their  capacity  for  accurate 
aiming  than  I  have  of  their  benevolent  intentions.* 

Other  people  know  more  of  oneself  than  one  does,  and  I 
was  much  interested  to  hear  that,  in  this  year  of  grace,  the 
editor  of  the  Daily  'Telegraph  said  of  me  : — 

*  Sam  Hussey,  yes,  that 's  the  famous  Irishman  they  used 
to  call  "  Woodcock "  Hussey,  because  he  was  never  hit, 
though  often  shot  at.' 

I  always  thought  '  Woodcock '  Garden  had  the  monopoly 
of  the  epithet,  but  am  proud  to  find  I  infringed  his  patent. 

I  was  benevolently  commended  by  a  vituperative  ink- 
slinger,  Daniel  O'Shea,  in  his  letter  to  the  Sunday  democrat  in 
1886,  but  none  of  those  he  blackguarded  were  in  the  least 
inconvenienced  by  '  the  roll  of  his  tongue,'  as  the  saying  is  : — 

*  A  vast  number  of  the  Irish  have  been  heartlessly  per- 
secuted by  the  most  despotic  landlords  of  Ireland,  such  as 
Lord  Kenmare,  Herbert,  Headley,  Hussey,  Winn,  and  the 
Marquis  of  Lansdowne,  all  of  whom  are  EngUshmen  by  birth, 
and  consequently  aliens  in  heart,  despots  by  instinct,  absentees 
by  inclination,  and  always  in  direct  opposition  to  the  cause  of 
Ireland.  Poor-rate,  town-rate,  income-tax,  are  nothing  less 
than  wholesale  robbery,  and  is  it  any  wonder  that  some  of  the 
people  who  are  thus  oppressed  should  be  driven  to  desperation  } 
It  is  deplorable  to  learn  that  they  should  have  had  any  cause 
to  commit  what  are  called  "  agrarian  "  crimes.  Why  not  turn 
their  attention  to  these  landlords,  the  police,  the  travelling 
coercion  magistrates,  not  forgetting  the  emergency  men } 
These  are  the  people  to  whom  I  would  direct  the  attention  of 
the  men  of  Kerry.' 


256  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

I  have  given  a  number  of  examples  of  how  I  have  been 
genially  appreciated  in  the  hostile  Press,  but  my  family  are  of 
opinion  that  it  would  not  be  fair,  considering  how  many  kind 
things  were  published  in  loyal  journals,  not  to  render  some 
tribute  to  them  too.  I  was  sincerely  obliged  when  I  received 
a  good  word,  but,  frankly,  ;the  bad  ones  amused  me  much 
more.  However,  I  am  not  ungrateful,  and  I  have  specially 
prized  one  able  description  of  my  attitude  which  appeared  in 
the  Globe^  the  manly  strain  of  the  writing  of  which  is  in  healthy 
contrast  to  the  hysterical  effusions  tainted  with  adjectival 
mania  of  those  who  wanted  me  shot,  but  were  too  cowardly  to 
fire  at  me  themselves  : — 

'  Mr.  Hussey  is  admittedly  fair  and  just  in  his  deahngs 
with  his  own  tenants.  But  he  is  only  just  and  fair,  which,  in 
the  ethics  of  Irish  agrarianism,  is  equivalent  to  being  a  rack- 
renter  and  a  tyrant.  He  refuses  to  let  his  own  land  at  what- 
ever the  tenants  think  well  to  pay  for  it.  He  persists,  with 
exasperating  obstinacy,  in  refusing  to  sacrifice  the  interests  of 
the  landlords  for  whom  he  acts.  In  short,  Mr.  Hussey  is  one 
of  the  most  determined  and  formidable  obstacles  to  the  success 
of  the  Land  League.  While  such  men  have  the  courage  to 
face  the  agrarian  conspiracy,  that  grand  consummation  of 
patriotic  effort — the  rooting  out  of  landlordism — must  be  a 
somewhat  tough  and  tedious  business.  He  has  lived  in  the 
midst  of  enemies,  who  would  have  murdered  him  if  only  they 
had  the  opportunity.  His  life,  it  may  be  safely  said,  has  had 
no  stronger  security  than  his  own  ability  to  protect  it.' 

And  yet  some  one  ventured  to  call  Irish  land  agents 
'  popularity-hunting  scoundrels.' 

'  Popularity  and  getting  in  money  were  never  on  the  same 
bush,'  as  I  told  Lord  Kenmare,  and  if  I  had  stopped  to  think 
how  I  should  make  myself  popular,  I  should  have  bothered  my 


MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES     257 

head  about  what  I  did  not  care  twopence  for,  and  provided  an 
even  more  easy  target  for  firing  at  at  short  range. 

Drifting  from  a  man  who  paid  no  heed  to  scoundrels,  I 
am  led  to  allude  to  the  attitude  of  a  profession,  the  members  of 
which  profited  by  their  amenities — I,  of  course,  mean  solicitors 
— because  some  one  put  a  question  to  me  on  the  subject  only 
the  other  day. 

My  answer  is,  that  none  of  the  solicitors  were  in  the  Land 
League,  and  they  did  not  instigate  outrages ;  but  they  drew 
comfortable  fees  for  defending  the  perpetrators. 

Swindlers  and  murderers  never  agree,  for  they  practise 
distinct  professions. 

We  were  fighting  a  Land  War,  and  though  I  have  kept 
back  land  questions  as  much  as  I  can,  in  order  not  to  weary 
the  reader  with  what  never  wearies  me,  I  have  one  or  two 
examples  to  give  which  cannot  be  omitted  if  I  am  to  portray 
the  true  facts. 

My  firm  was  agent  for  an  estate  in  Castleisland,  the  rent  of 
which,  in  1841,  was  ^2300.  I  exhibited  the  rental,  showing 
only  three  quarters  in  arrear.  By  1886  it  was  cut  down  by  the 
Commissioners  to  ;^i8oo,  and  the  landlord  sold  it  for  ^30,000, 
for  which  the  tenants  used  to  pay  four  per  cent,  for  forty-nine 
years,  to  cover  principal  and  interest. 

There  was  a  tenant  on  that  estate  named  Dennis  Coffey. 
He  took  a  farm  at  ^105  a  year  ;  the  Commissioners  reduced 
that  rent  to  ;^8o.  He  purchased  it  for  ;^I440 — eighteen 
years'  purchase,  for  which  his  son  has  ^42  a  year  for  forty- 
nine  years.  The'father  had  purchased  a  farm  for  fee-simple 
of  equal  value  for  ^3000,  which  he  left  to  two  others  of  his 
sons.  So  that  one  son,  by  paying  half  what  he  had  covenanted 
to  pay,  and  which  he  could  pay,  gets  a  farm  equal  in  value  to 
what  his  father  paid  /I3000  in  hard  cash  for.     The  man  who 

R 


258  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

is  paying  rent  has  his  farm  well  stocked  ;  the  others  are 
paupers,  and  one  died  in  the  poorhouse. 

That  may  belong  to  to-day,  and  not  to  the  period  of  out- 
rage with  which  I  have  been  dealing  ;  but  it  duly  points  the 
moral,  and  is  the  outcome  of  those  times. 

At  the  Boyle  Board  of  Guardians  in  1887,  upon  a  discus- 
sion over  the  Kilronan  threatened  evictions,  Mr.  Stuart  said  : — 

'  There  was  one  of  these  men  arrested  by  the  police.  His 
rent  was  _^4,  12s.  6d.,  and,  when  arrested,  a  deposit-receipt 
for  £110  was  found  in  his  pocket.' 

This  case  had  been  freely  cited  at  home  and  in  America 
as  a  typical  instance  of  the  ruthless  tyranny  of  Irish  landlords. 

My  friend  and  neighbour,  Mr.  Arthur  Blennerhassett, 
addressed  the  following  letter  to  Mr.  W.  E.  Gladstone,  then 
Prime  Minister  : — 

<  Sir — I  beg  respectfully  to  call  your  attention  to  the 
following  statement.  In  1866,  Judge  Longfield  conveyed  to 
my  uncle,  under  what  was  called  an  indefeasible  title,  the 
lands  of  Inch  East,  Ardroe  and  Inch  Island,  and  previous  to 
the  sale,  Judge  Longfield  caused  them  to  be  valued  by  Messrs, 
Gadstone  and  Ellis,  and  in  the  face  of  the  rental,  he  certified 
that  the  fair  letting  value  of  Inch  East  and  Ardroe  was  £120, 
and  that  the  fair  letting  value  of  Inch  Island  was  £ys,  now  in 
hand.  On  the  strength  of  will,  my  uncle  purchased  the  lands 
valued  at  ;^305  for  ^^6200,  and  your  sub-Commissioners  have 
just  reduced  the  rental  of  Inch  East  and  Ardroe  at  the  rate  of 
from  ^230  to  ^170  a  year. 

I  therefore  request  you  will  be  pleased  to  take  some  steps 
to  recoup  me  for  the  £60  ^  year  I  have  lost  by  the  action  of 
the  Government,  and  I  may  say  this  can  be  partially  done  by 
abandoning  the  quit  rent  and  tithe  rent  charge,  amounting  to 


MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES     259 

^34,  5s.  4d.,  which  I  am  now  forced  by  the  Government  to 
pay  without  any  reduction.  A.  Blennerhassett.' 

The  Right  Honourable  W.  E.  Gladstone. 

The  oracle  of  Hawarden  was  as  dumb  to  this  as  to  my 
effusion  to  a  similar  purport  already  mentioned.  Not  even 
the  proverbial  postcard  was  sent  to  Tralee,  so  the  verbosity 
of  Mr.  Gladstone  was  strangely  checked  when  he  found  him- 
self pinned  down  to  facts  by  Irish  landlords. 

Whilst  landlords  and  their  families  were  literally  starving, 
and  agents  were  collecting  what  they  could  at  the  peril  of  their 
lives,  the  real  land-grabbers,  the  no-renters,  were  accumulating 
money,  and  investing  it  in  land. 

I  sent  the  following  series  of  sales  to  the  Times  to  show  the 
real  value  of  land  : — 

(i)  The  interest  on  Lord  Granard's  estate,  the  valuation 
of  which  was  five  guineas,  was  sold  for  ^280,  and  the  fee- 
simple  subsequently  bought  for  ^^80. 

(2)  On  one  of  his  own  farms  for  which  the  tenant  paid 
^65  annual  rent,  the  tenant's  interest  fetched  ^^750  and 
auction  fees. 

(3)  A  farm  at  Curraghila,  near  Tralee,  annual  rent  ^'jo. 
Poor  Law  valuation,  ^51,  los.,  area  stat.  73  acres.  The 
tenant's  interest  was  sold  for  ;i^700. 

(4)  Tenant's  interest  on  a  farm  in  County  Tipperary,  on 
Lord  Normanton's  estate,  at  yearly  rent  of  ;^30,  was  sold 
for  £6oOy  and  the  fee-simple  purchased  for  ;^450, 

(5)  Tenant's  interest  at  Breaing,  near  Castleisland,  held  at 
the  annual  rent  of  ^51,  los.,  was  sold  for  £S5'^- 

(6)  At  Abbeyfeale,  County  Kerry,  tenant  of  a  small  farm, 
at  annual  rent  of  twenty-four  shillings,  sold   his  interest  for 

£ss- 


2  6o  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

All  the  sales,  save  the  Tipperary  one,  were  in  a  district  in 
which,  prior  to  the  Land  Act  of  i  88 1,  tenant-right  was  unknown. 

Poetry  is  always  congenial  to  an  Irishman,  probably  because 
it  has  licences  almost  as  great  as  he  likes  to  take,  and  has  a 
vague,  irresponsible  way  of  putting  things,  much  akin  to  his 
own  methods. 

Here  are  some  lines  from  the  '  Irish  Tenant's  Song '  which 
express  a  good  deal  of  the  popular  emotion  : — 

Oh,  Parnell,  dear,  and  did  you  hear  the  news  that's  going  round  ? 

The  landlords  are  forbid  by  law  to  live  on  Irish  ground. 

No  more  their  rent-days  they  may  keep,  nor  agents  harsh  distrain, 

The  widow  need  no  longer  weep,  for  over  is  their  reign. 

I  met  with  mighty  Gladstone,  and  he  took  me  by  the  hand. 

And  he  said,  '  Hurrah  for  Ireland  !   'tis  now  the  happy  land. 

'Tis  a  most  delightful  country  that  I  for  you  have  made — 

You  may  shoot  the  landlord  through  the  head  who  asks  that  rent  be 

paid.' 
We  care  not  for  the  agent,  nor  do  we  care  for  those 
Who  come  upon  us  to  distrain — we  pay  them  back  in  blows. 
And  when  hopeless,  helpless,  ruined,  these  landlords  vile  shall  roam. 
We'll  hunt  and  hound  them  from  the  roofs  they've  held  so  long  as 

home. 

I  don't  say  that  was  sung  in  Castleisland,  but  it  might 
have  been  the  local  hymn  and  verbal  companion  to  the  brutal 
misdeeds  of  the  benighted  inhabitants. 

.  As  if  matters  were  not  bad  enough,  that  Apostle  of  out- 
rage Mr.  Michael  Davitt  came  to  Castleisland  on  February  2 1 , 
1886,  and  in  a  pestilential  speech,  inciting  to  crime,  he  showed 
that,  at  all  events,  he  appreciated  that  for  sheer  blackness  and 
turpitude  Kerry  was  bad  to  beat.     He  said  : — 

'  For  some  time  past  Kerry  has  attracted  more  attention 
for  the  occurrences  which  have  been  taking  place  here,  than 
the  whole  remainder  of  Ireland  put  together.  I  am  not 
without    hope   that   henceforth,    until    the    battle   with    land- 


MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES     261 

lordism  and  Dublin  Castle  is  triumphantly  over,  the  people 
of  Kerry  will  be  towers  of  strength  to  the  national  cause. 
The  hope  of  Irish  landlordism  is  now  centred  in  Kerry. 
Elsewhere  it  has  none,  it  is  a  social  rinderpest,  since  the 
National  League  was  started  1600  families  have  been  turned 
out  in  this  one  county.' 

Captain  M'Calmont  in  the  House  of  Commons,  three  weeks 
afterwards,  called  attention  to  Mr.  Baron  Dowse's  address  to 
the  Grand  Jury  of  the  County  of  Kerry  in  which  he  stated  : — 

'  That  this  county  is  in  a  very  much  worse  state  than  it 
has  been  for  years  :  that  there  are  no  less  than  three  hundred 
offences  specially  reported  to  the  constabulary  since  the  Assizes 
of  1885,  consisting  of  two  cases  of  murder,  eighteen  cases  of 
letters  threatening  to  murder,  thirty-nine  cases  of  cattle, 
horse,  and  sheep  stealing,  eleven  cases  of  arson,  eighteen  cases 
of  maiming  cattle,  fifty-two  cases  of  seizing  arms,  seventy- 
four  cases  of  sending  threatening  letters,  and  twenty-four 
cases  of  intimidation.' 

You  will  observe  that  this  is  the  same  picture  from  two 
different  points  of  view. 

Almost  the  worst  case  in  which  I  was  personally  interested, 
was  that  of  the  Cruickshank  family. 

The  father,  an  industrious,  respectable,  elderly  Scotsman, 
supported  his  family  at  Inch  by  the  proceeds  of  a  rabbit- 
warren  which  he  rented.  He  had  no  farm,  and  therefore 
might  expect  to  live  in  peace,  even  in  Kerry,  in  those  times  ; 
but,  as  he  was  a  Scotch  Protestant,  and  had  arms,  he  was  a 
marked  man. 

Having  been  threatened,  he  was  partially  guarded  by  the 
police  who  patrolled  the  district.  However,  in  April  1885, 
when  the  Prince  of  Wales  visited  Ireland,  and  the  constabulary 
from  country  districts  were  drafted  into  the  towns  through 


262  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

which  he  had  to  pass,  a  number  of  disguised  Nationalists 
entered  Cruickshank's  house  at  night.  They  gave  him  a 
frightful  beating,  even  breaking  a  gun  on  his  head,  which  was 
seriously  injured.  This  was  done  in  the  presence  of  his  wife 
and  daughters,  and  of  a  young  son  who,  with  one  of  his 
sisters,  went  off  in  the  night  to  a  police  station  four  miles 
distant,  to  obtain  assistance  for  his  father. 

Between  the  fight  and  the  chill  received  that  night,  the 
boy  fell  into  a  decline  of  which  he  died  in  May  1886.  One 
daughter,  not  strong  at  the  time  of  the  outrage,  became  a 
chronic  invalid.  The  father,  as  soon  as  he  was  able  to  move 
after  the  perpetration,  applied  for  compensation  under  the 
Crimes  Act,  but  as  it  was  then  to  expire  in  about  a  fortnight, 
the  Lord-Lieutenant  refused  to  consider  the  case.  The  poor 
fellow  continued  to  suffer  from  the  wounds  on  his  head,  and 
so  affected  was  he  by  the  shock  of  his  son's  death,  that 
he  became  insensible  and  only  survived  him  a  few  weeks, 
leaving  his  widow  and  three  daughters  without  any  means 
of  support. 

My  wife  and  the  former  Archdeacon  of  Ardfert  appealed 
for  subscriptions  and  obtained  ^120,  which  enabled  the  un- 
fortunate survivors  to  return  to  Scotland. 

That  was  the  settlement  of  the  land  question  that  suited 
the  Nationalists,  namely,  to  cause  the  death  of  the  head  of 
the  family,  and  to  get  the  rest  out  of  the  country.  It  did 
not  say  much  for  the  civilisation  of  the  nineteenth  century, 
but  after  the  brutalities  of  the  spring  of  187 1  in  Paris,  there 
can  be  no  doubt  how  thin  is  the  veneer  over  the  barbarity 
of  even  the  most  civilised  ;  those  deeds  were  perpetrated  in 
the  heart  of  the  European  capital  specially  devoted  to  amuse- 
ment :  what  I  describe  took  place  in  the  most  distant  portion 
of  Europe,  where  Nature  is  lovely  and  man,  alas,  the  creature 


MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES     263 

of  impulse,  the  prey  of  those  who  lead  him  into  the  worst 
temptations. 

Another  settlement  was  suggested  by  an  anonymous  writer 
who  concealed  his  identity  under  the  pseudonym  of  Saxon. 
He  observed  : — 

'Two  hundred  millions  of  English  money  are  now  (1886) 
to  be  spent  buying  out  Irish  landlords,  but  would  it  not  be 
surely  better  and  more  in  accordance  with  reason  and  justice 
to  buy  out  the  tenants?  At  a  very  low  calculation,  two 
hundred  millions  would  put  a  couple  of  hundred  pounds  in 
every  Irishman's  pocket,  and  there  is  not  one  of  them  that 
would  refuse  to  leave  his  beloved  country,  and  bless  America 
or  Australia  on  these  terms.  The  island  could  be  populated 
with  Scotch  and  English  settlers,  and  our  difficulties  be  at 
an  end.  The  Irish  must  not  have  their  own  loaf  and  ours  too. 
I  commend  this  scheme  to  Messrs.  Gladstone  and  Morley. 
It  is  quite  as  just,  quite  as  reasonable,  and  more  forcible  than 
their  own.' 

Hear,  hear  !  say  I,  but  our  grandchildren's  grandchildren 
when  grey  old  men  will  still  be  trying  to  settle  the  Irish 
question,  which  can  never  be  settled  until  there  arises  a  big 
man  strong  enough  to  force  his  will  on  the  Empire  and 
fortunate  enough  to  be  able  to  hand  over  the  reins  of  political 
dictatorship  to  an  equally  enlightened  and  powerful  successor. 

It  is  hopeless  to  expect  Irish  matters  to  go  well,  when 
the  balance  of  parties  in  the  House  of  Commons  is  held  by 
hirelings  and  traitors,  men  who  debase  patriotism  and  would 
to-day  encourage  outrage  as  much  as  they  did  in  1884,  if  it 
was  worth  their  mercenary  while. 

I  had  a  word  to  write  myself  a  year  later  to  Mr.  T. 
Harrington,  who  thought  he  could  tell  as  many  lies  about 
me  as  suited  his   own  purpose,  and  I    addressed  my  reply, 


264  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

published  on  August  29,   1887,  to  the  Editor  of  the  Times. 
It  ran  as  follows  : — 

'  Sir — I  have  just  read  the  speech  of  Mr.  T.  Harrington 
in  the  debate  on  Mr.  Gladstone's  motive  relating  to  the  pro- 
clamation of  the  National  League,  in  which  he  states  that  I 
invented  and  gave  to  Mr.  Balfour  the  particulars  of  the  boy- 
cotting of  Justin  M'Carthy,  I  beg  you  will  allow  me  to 
state  that  I  never  wrote  to  Mr.  Balfour,  or  to  any  member  of 
the  Government,  on  that  or  any  subject.  Had  I  supplied  the 
information,  I  would  have  mentioned  some  facts  which  Mr. 
Balfour  omitted,  for  instance,  that  a  man  named  Andrew 
Griffin  was  nearly  murdered  because  he  brought  provisions  to 
Justin  M'Carthy,  that  four  men  were  put  on  their  trial  for 
the  outrage,  but  notwithstanding  a  plain  charge  from  the 
judge,  the  jury,  fearing  the  vengeance  of  the  League,  acquitted 
the  prisoners.  I  would  also  mention  a  fact  that  would  seem 
almost  incredible  to  your  English  Catholic  readers,  that  the 
old  man  cannot  attend  his  place  of  worship  without  being 
hissed  at  in  the  church,  and  that  his  aged  wife,  while  partaking 
of  the  sacrament  of  the  Holy  Communion,  was  hissed  at  and 
jeered.  These  things  can  be  proved  on  oath,  and  are  not  to 
be  set  aside  by  frothy  declamation.  Neither  can  the  fact  be 
disproved  that  one  of  the  offences  for  which  Justin  M'Carthy 
has  suffered  was  that  he  purchased  his  farm  from  me  under 
Lord  Ashbourne's  Act,  a  proceeding  which  (as  it  is  likely  to 
settle  aown  the  country)  is  considered  a  deadly  crime  ;  and 
for  committing  the  same  offence  another  man  in  the  same 
barony  had  his  cows  stabbed. 

Your  obedient  servant, 

S.   M.   HUSSEY.' 

There  is  yet  another  case  I  cannot  forbear  from  handing 
on  to  a  generation  that  knows  no  outrages  nearer  home  than 


MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES     265 

Macedonia.  Six  ruffians,  having  their  faces  covered  with 
handkerchiefs,  and  armed  with  heavy  cudgels,  entered  the 
house  of  a  farmer  named  Lambe  and  began  to  beat  him.  To 
save  his  head  from  the  blows,  he  ran  the  upper  part  of  his 
body  up  the  chimney  and  held  on  by  the  cross-bar.  His  wife, 
on  coming  to  his  assistance,  was  beaten  so  severely  that  her 
skull  was  fractured,  while  an  aged  female — stated  to  be  in  her 
ninety-seventh  year — was  not  only  roughly  handled,  but  also 
beaten.  A  most  discreditable  episode  indeed,  in  a  land 
formerly  renowned  for  respect  for  womanhood,  and  for  the 
warm-hearted  generosity  of  her  sons. 

In  only  one  instance  in  Kerry  was  police  protection  being 
regarded  as  necessary  up  to  the  present  summer,  and  all  who 
know  the  contemporary  condition  of  affairs  will  at  once  re- 
collect that  Mrs.  Morrogh  Bernard  is  the  lady  in  question. 

The  late  Mr.  Edward  Morrogh  Bernard  of  Fahagh  Court, 
Bullybrack,  was  a  Roman  Catholic,  who  had  resided  in  Kerry 
all  his  life,  and  some  five-and-twenty  years  ago  he  built  on 
his  property  the  residence  in  which  he  died  in  the  spring  of 
1904.  He  and  his  wife,  an  English  lady,  who  was  jusdy 
beloved  for  her  wide  charity,  were  one  night,  after  dinner, 
sitting  in  their  drawing-room,  when  a  party  of  masked  moon- 
lighters walked  in.  One  of  them  held  a  pistol  to  her  head, 
and  told  her  not  to  scream  or  move,  else  he  would  shoot 
her.  Another  performed  the  same  kindly  office  for  Mr. 
Bernard,  whilst  the  rest  ransacked  the  house  for  arms  and 
money. 

Mrs.  Bernard  noticed  that  the  hands  of  the  man  who  was 
threatening  her  with  violence  were  not  those  of  an  agricultural 
labourer,  because  they  were  small  and  white.  On  the  strength 
of  this  clue,  the  police  arrested  a  little  tailor  in  the  village, 
and  she  courageously  identified  him  in   court,  though  every 


266  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

possible  pressure  was  brought  on  her  not  to  do  so.  He  was 
sentenced  to  several  years'  imprisonment,  and  his  friends 
vowed  they  would  make  it  hot  for  Mrs.  Bernard,  and  ever 
after  she  has  been  protected  by  two  or  three  constables. 
The  police  did  not  live  in  Fahagh  Court,  but  in  a  hut  specially 
built  for  them  a  few  yards  off,  and  at  night  they  always  came 
into  the  house.  To  the  very  last  days  of  Mr,  Bernard's  life 
whenever  he  and  she  went  to  pay  a  call  on  a  neighbour,  two 
policemen  followed  them  either  on  a  car  or  on  bicycles, 
and  I  have  never  heard  any  reasons  advanced  to  show  that 
these  precautions  were  superfluous. 

Meeting  this  little  party  on  the  highway  was  the  only 
thing  in  the  twentieth  century  which  brought  home  to  the 
British  tourist  the  terrible  deeds  which  blackened  Kerry  in 
the  eighties. 

I  have  always  looked  on  the  light  side  of  life,  even  when 
it  has  seemed  blackest,  and  so  I  will  not  close  this  chapter 
without  a  more  cheery  anecdote. 

There  was  a  good  deal  of  friction  among  Land  Leaguers 
over  the  amount  of  relief  money  and  other  remuneration 
doled  out  by  the  rebel  authorities.  This  seldom  reached  a 
more  droll  pitch  than  in  the  complaint  of  a  girl  at  Rossbeigh, 
who  wrote  to  a  prominent  member  of  Parliament  —  since 
deceased — that  another  girl  had  been  awarded  a  pound  for 
booing  at  a  sergeant,  '  while  I,  who  broke  a  policeman's  head, 
never  got  so  much  as  would  pay  for  a  candle  to  the  Blessed 
Virgin,' 

Sometimes  the  crafty  Paddy  utilised  the  agitation  for  his 
own  purposes,  as  the  following  example  will  prove. 

A  farmer's  house  was  fired  into,  but  no  one  could  tell  the 
reason  why,  for  he  had  not  paid  any  rent  and  was  a  good  Land 
Leaguer.    He  was  asked  if  he  could  account  for  it  himself,  and 


MORE  ATROCITIES  AND  LAND  CRIMES    267 

after  some  shuffling  under  promise  of  strict  secrecy,  made  the 
following  revelation. 

'  Well,  it  was  this  way,  I  married  a  dacent  girl  from  the 
North,  and  all  went  well  with  us  until  her  mother  came  along, 
and  she  had  the  divil's  own  tongue,  and  nothing  could  get 
her  out  of  the  house.  I  would  say  "the  North  has  fine  air, 
would  not  a  change  back  there  get  you  your  health? " 

'  To  which  the  old  Biddy  would  reply  : — 

' "  Where  would  I  live  except  with  my  only  daughter  and 
her  husband  .'' " 

'And  this  sort  of  thing  made  me  desperate,  and  I  promised 
the  "  bhoys  "  five  shillings  if  they  would  fire  round  the  house 
on  a  certain  night.  On  the  evening  that  had  been  agreed 
upon,  I  began  reading  on  the  paper  how  farms  in  Castleisland 
were  being  fired  into,  and  the  old  woman  said  that  if  these 
things  were  so,  County  Kerry  was  worse  than  County  Cork, 
and  I  thought  to  myself  "  maybe  you  '11  find  it  so,  you  ould 
divil." 

'  Well,  they  came  and  did  their  work  in  grand  style  after 
we  had  gone  to  bed,  and  there  was  the  mother-in-law  screech- 
ing and  bawling,  and  every  hour  too  long  for  her  until  daylight, 
when  I  put  her  in  the  cart  and  drove  her  to  the  station.' 

The  sequel  is  that  the  couple  left  to  themselves  lived 
happily  ever  after,  a  thing  more  likely  to  happen  to  people  in 
England  and  Ireland,  if  it  was  no  one's  business  to  make  bad 
blood  between  them. 


CHAPTER    XXII 


COMMISSIONS 


I  HAVE  probably  given  evidence  to  as  many  Commissions  as 
any  living  man,  for  I  have  been  before  seven,  and  never  once 
was  asked  a  question  that  posed  me. 

I  enjoyed  the  experience  of  being  asked  about  what  I 
knew  by  those  who  knew  nothing  on  the  subject,  and  if 
the  legal  mind  was  a  little  more  obtuse  than  the  civil,  well, 
it  was  only  the  choice  between  a  grey  donkey  and  a  black. 

The  earliest  Commission  I  gave  evidence  before  was  one 
on  Agriculture.  Professor  Bohnamy  Price  was  one  of  the 
Commissioners,  and  he  knew  what  he  was  talking  about, 
others  being  Lord  Carlingford,  the  Duke  of  Buccleuch,  and 
the  Duke  of  Richmond  and  Gordon,  who  presided.  The 
peers  were  all  used  to  big  parks,  obsequious  bailiffs,  and 
huge  demesnes.  I  think  they  metaphorically  picked  up 
their  coat  tails  and  stepped  carefully  away  from  the  Irish 
potato  patches  and  acres  of  turf. 

It  was  alleged  that  prosperity  of  nations  was  a  good  deal 
owing  to  tenant-right. 

'  I  do  not  think  so,'  said  I,  '  because  Donegal  and  Kerry 
have  approximately  the  same  value  and  area,  same  number  of 
miles  of  road  and  sea  frontage.  There  is  extreme  tenant- 
right  in  Donegal  and  none  in  Kerry,  yet  the  prosperity 
of  the  farmers  in  Kerry  is  extremely  superior  to  those  of 
Donegal.' 


268 


COMMISSIONS  269 

'  There  is  too  much  tenant-right  in  Donegal,'  said 
Mr.  Chichester  Fortescue,  who  was  examining  me. 

'  Not  if  it  is  a  good  thing,'  I  replied,  '  for  then  you  could 
not  have  too  much.' 

Mr.  Shaw  Lefevre's  Commission  on  the  housing  of  the 
working  classes  in  Ireland  was  very  uninteresting.  '  Oxen 
are  stalled,  pigs  are  styed  or  take  possession  of  the  cabin, 
but  what  is  done  for  the  Irish  labourers .? '  asked  a  passionate 
mob-orator,  and  in  many  cases  it  might  have  been  answered 
that  a  good  deal  more  has  been  done  for  them  than  the  idle 
ruffians  deserve.  I  had  no  difficulty  in  showing  that  landlords 
were  always  willing  to  give  assistance  in  housing  labourers,  and 
when  an  ex-mayor  of  Cork  on  the  Commission  seemed  to 
doubt  my  assertions,  I  might  have  retorted  that  though  he  was 
used  to  factory  hands,  yet  he  had  never  bothered  himself  how 
they  lived  out  of  work  time. 

The  Duke  of  Devonshire  was  on  this  board.  He  has 
obtained  his  great  and  honourable  reputation  by  conscientiously 
slumbering  through  many  duties.  His  tastes  are  for  racing 
and  shooting,  but  from  sheer  patriotism  he  has  devoted  himself 
to  politics  with  all  the  energy  of  his  lethargic  manner,  which 
successfully  conceals  abnormal  common-sense.  It  was  he,  more 
than  any  other  man,  who  saved  Ireland  from  Home  Rule, 
though  as  an  Irish  landlord  he  has  not  come  much  to  the  fore, 
because  his  vast  English  estates  are  immeasurably  more  im- 
portant than  those  situated  round  Lismore.  This  picturesque 
town  was  once  called  the  abode  of  saints,  but  only  antiquarians 
remember  that  its  university  was  once  so  important  that  Alfred 
the  Great  went  there  to  study,  and  that  in  the  old  castle 
Henry  11.  held  a  Parliament.  The  Cavendishs  rebuilt  the 
latter,  and  both  in  appearance  and  position  it  much  resembles 
Warwick  Castle.     It  has  not  very  many  bedrooms,  and  when 


270  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

the  King  was  first  expected,  among  various  extensive  altera- 
tions, a  bathroom  was  put  up.  The  Duke  has  generally  visited 
Lismore  twice  a  year,  and  has  never  stood  unduly  on  his  dignity, 
but  been  approachable  by  all,  and  reasonable  about  everything, 
which  has  also  been  characteristic  of  his  political  views. 

Lord  Bessborough  presided  over  a  Commission  on  Irish 
Land  Laws.  He  was  a  very  kind,  very  lean  man,  who  was 
wont  in  old  age  to  walk  about  London  wrapped  in  a  black 
cape,  and  was  idolised  at  Harrow,  where  twenty  generations 
of  boys  knew  him  and  his  brothers  and  valued  their  unabated 
interest  in  school  cricket.  Baron  Dowse,  a  judge  I  have 
already  mentioned,  the  O'Conor  Don,  and  Mr.  Shaw,  were 
the  members  who  put  questions  to  me.  I  remember  the 
O'Conor  Don  was  much  impressed  when  I  mentioned  I  had 
made  six  tours  in  Scotland,  and  had  been  in  Holland,  in 
Belgium,  in  France,  in  Germany,  in  Italy,  and  just  before 
in  Spain,  to  inquire  into  the  state  of  agriculture.  I  said 
that  if  a  man  persisted  in  farming  badly  I  would  serve  him 
with  notice  to  quit  even  if  he  paid  his  rent,  and  I  pointed 
out  that  there  were  three  hundred  thousand  occupiers  of  land 
in  Ireland  whose  holdings  were  under  ^^8  Poor  Law  valuation, 
and  these  occupiers,  when  their  potatoes  fail,  have  nothing  to 
fall  back  upon  but  relief  work,  starvation,  or  emigration,  and 
I  further  laid  before  the  Commission  a  purchase  scheme. 
There  would  be  twenty  years'  purchase-money  to  be  lent  by 
the  State,  two  years'  purchase  to  be  found  by  the  tenant  and 
two  years  more  at  the  end  of  ten  years.  Thus  the  landlord 
would  get  a  price  for  his  property  that  would  induce  him 
to  sell  (reductions  had  not  then  been  wholesale)  and  the 
tenant  would  get  a  lease  for  ever  with  abolition  of  rent  at 
the  end  of  thirty-five  years  by  paying  a  fine  of  two  years' 
rent  down  and  two  more  at  the  end  of  ten  years. 


COMMISSIONS  271 

They  would  not  have  it.  Who  ever  expected  that  Justice 
would  lift  the  bandage  from  her  eyes  for  the  sake  of  fair  play 
to  the  landlord  ? 

Lord  Salisbury  had  a  Commission  on  the  working  of  the 
Land  Act  of  188 1.  Lord  Dunraven,  Lord  Pembroke,  and 
Lord  Cairns  were  on  it,  the  latter  being  chairman.  He  was  so 
austere  that,  when  he  was  made  Lord  Chancellor,  it  was  said 
he  had  swallowed  the  mace  and  could  not  digest  it.  His  law 
may  have  been  profound,  but  it  was  never  relieved  by  a  gleam 
of  humour,  and  his  ecclesiastical  proclivities  were  of  the  lowest 
Church  type.  For  some  time  he  nominated  Tory  bishops, 
and  it  was  declared  he  was  so  evangelical  that  he  would  have 
suggested  any  clergyman  for  a  vacant  bishopric  who  promised 
to  forego  the  ecclesiastical  gaiters.  His  horror  of  Anthony 
Trollope's  novels  was  notorious,  especially  his  dislike  of 
Mrs.  Proudie  and  her  attendant  divines. 

I  said  the  working  of  the  Land  Act  was  ruin  to  Irish 
landlords,  and  cited  a  case.  A  Kerry  gentleman  had  an  estate 
of  j^  1 200  rent  roll,  with  a  mortgage  of  ^^ 8000  which  involved 
charges  of  ^400  a  year,  a  jointure  tithes  and  head  rent  took 
j^400  more.  The  Commissioners  by  so  cutting  down  the  rent 
by  ;^400  made  a  clean  sweep  of  what  that  landlord  had  to  live 
on.  Fortunately,  he  had  his  mother's  fortune  of  ^40,000, 
which  his  grandfather  had  wisely  provided  should  not  be  in- 
vested in  Irish  lands,  having,  in  fact,  established  a  contingency 
in  case  his  grandson  should  be  dispossessed  of  the  property 
he  had  held  for  generations,  by  a  Government  truckling  to 
blustering  '  no-renters.' 

Before  Lord  Cowper's  Commission  on  the  same  subject, 
I  said  much  the  same  thing  over  again  and  realised  that 
Royal  Commissions  are  most  valuable  for  the  purpose  of 
shelving   pregnant   topics.      The    only   good    derived    from 


272   REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

these  official  inquiries  is  that  the  witnesses  get  their  expenses 
and  the  Government  printers  have  a  lucrative  contract. 

There  is  a  story  told  of  a  witness  who  was  being  brought 
over  to  London  to  give  evidence. 

'  Patrick,'  said  the  priest,  '  you  '11  be  having  to  mind  what 
you  're  saying  over  there.  Perjury  won't  help  you  no  more 
than  I  can,  my  poor  fellow.' 

'  What  happens  if  I  get  a  bit  wide  of  the  truth  then, 
father  .? ' 

'  You  won't  get  your  expenses,  my  son.' 

'  Holy  Mother,  to  think  of  that !  I  '11  be  so  careful  that 
I  won't  know  how  many  legs  the  blessed  pig  has  that 's  round 
the  cabin  all  day  long.' 

Sir  Edward  Fry's  Commission  had  none  of  the  tinsel  of 
big  names  nor  the  tawdriness  of  aristocratic  apathy.  Sir 
Edward  meant  to  find  the  truth,  and  so  did  his  colleagues 
— all  practical  men.  What  they  did  was  to  strike  against 
the  hard  rock  of  party  government  which  was  too  adamant 
to  receive  the  evidence  sown  by  these  gardeners.  Dr.  Anthony 
Traill,  who  was  one  of  the  Commissioners,  has  in  this  very 
year  of  grace  been  made  Provost  of  Trinity,  and  from  what 
I  saw  of  him  I  am  certain  he  will  be  the  apostle  of  fair  play 
between  undergraduates  and  dons. 

I  answered  over  five  hundred  questions  and  rammed  home 
one  or  two  points.  For  instance,  I  expressed  my  disapproval 
of  a  system  by  which  a  man  who  is  a  sub-Commissioner  at  the 
hearing  on  the  first  term  may  become  the  Court  valuer  on 
the  next. 

In  valuation,  it  is  wrong  that  men  from  the  north  should 
be  sent  to  value  in  the  south,  or  vice  versa ^  and  to  prove  that 
I  cited  the  example  of  my  tenant,  Anne  Delane.  Her  rent 
was   fixed   first   term   in    1883    for  ;^34,    10s.     In   1896,   for 


COMMISSIONS  273 

second  term,  the  sub-Commissioner  fixed  it  at  ^^23,  los.,  and 
on  appeal  it  was  raised  to  ^25.  Mr.  O'Shaughnessy,  who  was 
one  of  the  sub-Commissioners  on  the  first  term,  acted  as  a 
Court  valuer  on  the  second.  On  the  first  time  he  allowed 
^^103,  6s.  gd.  for  drains  and  buildings,  and  on  the  second 
omitted  it. 

In  the  case  of  Hoffman,  who  held  a  farm  at  a  rent  of  ^30, 
I  reduced  it  to  ^20  in  188 1.  In  1896  he  went  into  court,  and 
the  County  Court  judge  reduced  it  to  ^^15,  and  on  appeal  he 
got  it  again  reduced  to  _^  1 3 . 

On  land  which  came  into  my  own  hands  after  1881, 
I  was  able  to  get  rents  over  50  per  cent,  in  excess  of  those 
fixed  by  the  sub-Commissioners.  In  the  case  of  Patrick 
Quill,  the  farm  on  which  the  rent  was  cut  down  from  ^20 
to  j^i6  was  sold  for  ;^300  with  a  charge  of  ^9  on  it. 

In  the  case  of  Michael  Callaghan,  Colonel  Hickson  ex- 
pended ;^300  and  Callaghan  ;^ioo  on  the  farm,  for  which  the 
rent  was  ;^70,  and  he  sold  his  interest  for  ;^700. 

This  perpetual  wrangling  and  litigation  is  ruinous,  for 
every  man  is  farming  down  his  land  and  letting  it  deteriorate 
as  fast  as  he  can  ;  and  there  is  a  most  marked  difference  in 
the  county  between  those  who  have  bought  their  land  and 
those  who  are  tenants.  When  a  judicial  rent  was  fixed  and 
a  tenant  came  into  Court  for  a  second  judicial  rent,  I 
think  the  landlord  should  have  been  at  liberty  to  stop  him 
by  tendering  the  farmer  twenty  years'  purchase  ;  that  would 
give  him  a  reduction  of  20  per  cent,  and  make  him  a 
proprietor  in  the  course  of  time. 

In  1850  at  Milltown  Fair,  yearlings  were  selling  for  30s. 
apiece.  The  same  cattle  now  are  selling  for  ^^5,  and  Kerry  is 
a  great  stock-breeding  country. 

It  is  very  hard  to  define  a  landlord,  and  you  will  hear 

s 


274  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

of  some  being  landlords  who  do  not  get  a  shilling  from  their 
estates.  Under  these  circumstances  they  would  be  like  the 
fox  in  iEsop's  fable  who  had  lost  his  own  tail. 

To  show  how  the  Land  Act  works,  on  the  Harenc  estate 
I  was  offered  twenty-seven  years'  purchase  before  the  Act  for 
a  holding,  and  at  the  time  of  the  Commission  they  offered  me 
sixteen  years'  purchase  on  two-thirds  of  the  rent. 

One  other  Commission  besides  that  of  the  Times  remains 
to  be  mentioned.  Lord  Balfour  of  Burleigh,  a  dour  Scot  with 
a  lot  of  gumption  in  his  head,  was  chairman  of  one  on  Imperial 
versus  local  taxation.  My  easy  task  was  to  show  the  excess  of 
the  latter  in  Kerry,  which  is  the  highest  taxed  county  in  the 
three  kingdoms. 

When  a  man  thinks  of  the  vast  amount  of  information 
buried  beyond  all  probable  excavation  in  the  Blue  Books  of 
the  last  fifty  years,  he  may  well  break  into  Carlyle-like 
diatribes  against  the  waste  of  the  whole  thing — which  is  paid 
for  out  of  the  taxpayer's  pocket. 

Alluding  to  all  these  Commissions  reminds  me  that  there 
were  three  Land  Commissioners — Mr.  Bewlay,  who  was  very 
deaf ;  Mr.  FitzGerald,  who  was  rather  hasty ;  and  Mr. 
Wrench,  who  consistently  absented  himself  to  attend  the 
Congested  Board. 

So  they  were  respectively,  though  not  respectfully,  called, 
'  The  judge  who  could  not  hear,  the  judge  who  would  not 
hear,  and  the  judge  who  is  not  here.'  This  was  one  of  the 
witticisms  of  my  clever  friend,  Mr.  Robert  Martin — 'Bally- 
hooley  ' — one  of  the  very  few  men  who  can  write  a  good  Irish 
song,  and  sing  it  well,  into  the  bargain. 

I  appeared  in  the  witness-box  in  the  case  of  O'Donnell 
V.  the  Times.  I  suppose  people  buy  newspapers  to  obtain 
information,   or  else  to  get  a  pennyworth  of   lies   to  induce 


COMMISSIONS  275 

equanimity  in  bearing  the  income-tax,  the  weather,  and  all 
other  ills  that  an  unnatural  Government  is  responsible  for  ; 
and  I  further  suppose  a  halfpenny  paper  has  to  condense  its 
inaccuracies,  and  serve  them  up  in  tabloid  form  for  mental 
indigestion.  However,  that  is  as  it  may  be  ;  anyhow,  I  had  a 
hearty  laugh  at  the  Star^  which  wrote : — 

'  A  look  round  the  Court  again  this  morning  brought  the 
strange  impression  which  one  now  always  feels  on  entering 
the  Court.  The  space  is  so  comparatively  small,  but  one 
feels  as  though  it  were  all  Ireland  in  microcosm.  You  see 
representatives  of  every  class  in  the  terrible  conflict  of  war,  of 
rival  passions,  hatred,  and  traditions.  This  man  with  the 
large  nose,  the  large  and  disfigured  face,  is  Mr.  Hussey,  and 
those  scars  that  you  see,  and  the  distortion  of  the  features,  are 
perchance  marks  left  by  some  desperate  and  homicidal  tenant 
avenging  his  wrongs.' 

That  '  perchance '  is  good,  considering  my  riding  mis- 
adventure in  County  Cork,  of  which  I  gave  an  account 
earlier. 

As  for  the  Parnell  Commission,  it  was  the  outcome  of 
superb  patriotism  on  the  part  of  the  Times.  That  great 
organ,  in  the  spirit  of  purest  devotion  to  the  best  interests 
of  England  and  Ireland,  honestly  attempted  to  expose 
treachery,  and  to  denounce  treason.  Hundreds  of  columns 
of  the  valuable  space  at  their  daily  disposal,  as  well  as 
thousands  of  pounds  earned  by  the  highest  journalism  of 
any  country,  were  freely  lavished  in  this  tremendous  denuncia- 
tion, known  as  '  Parnellism  and  Crime.'  The  crime  of  Pigott 
eventually  saved  Parnell  and  his  followers.  But  the  last  word 
on  that  has  not  yet  been  spoken.  Another  pen  than  mine 
may,  perchance  before  long,  tell  the  whole  truth  about  that 
tragic  episode,  and  explain  what  is  still  an  unsolved  riddle  in 


276  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

all  dispassionate  minds.  Without  challenging  and  exciting 
the  strongest  racial  prejudices,  it  will  be  impossible  to  lift  the 
veil,  and  I  have  no  intention  of  affording  even  the  slightest 
preliminary  peep  behind  the  scenes  of  tliat  dramatic  affair. 
The  wheels  of  God  grind  slowly,  and  they  ground  exceeding 
small  almost  before  the  absurd  exultation  of  Nationalist  relief 
over  the  Pigott  episode  had  abated.  It  is  almost  time  to  treat 
the  whole  affair  from  the  historical  point  of  view,  and  then  the 
idol  of  Home  Rule  will  be  pulverised.  However,  that  is 
another  story  in  which  I  have  no  chapter  to  write. 

My  own  share  in  the  Parnell  Commission  was  on  November 
29,  1888,  on  the  twenty-third  day.  I  was  examined  by  the 
Attorney-General,  the  present  Lord  Chief  Justice,  and  the 
most  popular  and  most  honourable  of  men.  At  that  very 
time,  I  have  heard,  he  sang  each  Sunday  in  the  surpliced  choir 
of  a  Kensington  church,  and  I  suppose  he  is  the  very  best 
chairman  of  a  committee  or  of  a  public  meeting  of  our  own  or 
any  other  time.  A  Parnellite  once  said  he  had  the  unctuous- 
ness  of  a  retired  grocer,  but  was  contradicted  by  a  more 
reverent  English  Radical,  who  said,  '  No,  he  has  the  unction 
of  grace,'  whereas,  the  truth  is,  he  has  the  platform  manner 
with  him  always. 

I  told  the  Court  I  had  been  a  Kerry  magistrate  for  the 
previous  thirty-seven  years,  and,  after  deposing  to  the  earlier 
state  of  my  property,  I  insisted  that  moonlighting  and  '  land- 
grabbing  '  were  unknown  terms  before  1 880.  My  examination 
under  the  Attorney-General  was,  in  fact,  too  practical  and 
useful  to  provide  amusement  for  latter  day  readers. 

My  cross-examination  was  begun  by  Sir  Charles  Russell, 
who  led  off  with  a  sneer  about  my  being  the  most  popular 
man  in  the  county,  and,  when  I  adhered  to  other  statements, 
he  added,  '  Well,  a  very  popular  man.     I  will  not  put  you  on 


COMMISSIONS  277 

too  high  a  pinnacle.'  (Laughter.)  Then  for  an  hour  and  a  half 
he  plied  me  with  the  best  balanced  statistical  questions  I  ever 
heard  put  in  a  hostile  spirit,  and  without  a  note  I  could  answer 
every  one.  After  considerable  hesitation  I  admitted  on  con- 
sideration that  there  was  in  Kerry  one  farmer  benefiting  by 
the  Act  of  1870.  I  have  never  heard  since  that  he  was  caught 
and  exhibited  as  the  solitary  outward  and  visible  sign  of  the 
inward  and  legal  benefit  of  the  legislative  force  of  Imperial 
Parliament. 

Mr.  Lockwood,  to  whom,  as  artist,  I  had  been  serving  as 
a  model,  evidently  preferred  to  handle  me  with  pencil  rather 
than  with  questions,  for  he  was  almost  as  brief  as  Mr.  Reid. 
It  is  my  view  that  they  both  had  consigned  me  to  petrification 
under  Sir  Charles  Russell,  and  finding  me  alive  and  kicking, 
thought  me  too  tough  to  expire  under  such  coups  de  grace  as 
they  could  inflict. 

We  came  to  banter  when  Mr.  Michael  Davitt  suggested 
that  the  young  men  of  Castleisland  took  part  in  nocturnal  raids 
because  there  was  no  such  social  inducement  to  keep  them  quiet, 
as  a  music-hall  or  a  theatre  ;  but  I  told  him  there  ought  to  have 
been  no  inducement  to  them  to  shoot  their  neighbours,  and 
that  Castleisland  was  past  redemption. 

He  blandly  alluded  to  my  popularity  with  the  tenants 
before  1880;  but  I  only  said  that  I  got  on  fairly  well 
with  them,  for  I  do  not  think  that  any  agent  was  ever  really 
popular. 

'  Relatively  ? '  insidiously. 

'  Yes.' 

Then  came  this  curious  question,  put  with  a  gentleness  that 
would  have  aroused  the  suspicion  of  a  babe  : — 

'  Did  you  ever  say,  in  reply  to  a  question  put  to  you  by 
Mr.  Townsend  Trench  as  to  why  you  were  not  shot,  that  you 


278  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

had  told  the  tenants  that  if  anything  happened  to  you  he  would 
succeed  you  as  agent  ? ' 

'  Yes,  I  did  say  so  ;  but  it  is  not  original,  because  it  is 
what  Charles  11.  said  to  James  11.' 

This  historic  reference,  which  elicited  laughter  in  Court, 
did  not  seem  intelligible  to  my  questioner,  but  some  better 
informed  person  probably  soon  quoted  it  to  him  : — 

'  Depend  on  it,  brother  James,  they  will  never  shoot  me  to 
make  you  king.' 

From  the  kid-glove  amenities  of  Mr.  Davitt  to  the  aggres- 
sive harshness  of  Mr.  Biggar  was  a  sharp  contrast.  He 
heckled  me  vigorously,  and  I  retorted  to  him  pretty  hotly. 
A  great  deal  had  been  expected  of  this  cross-examination,  but 
the  general  opinion  was  that  I  gave  rather  better  than  I 
received.  Coolness  is  the  despair  of  cross-examiners,  and 
I  think  mine  made  more  impression  on  the  Court  than  the 
impulsiveness  of  a  dozen  inaccurate  Nationalists. 

Mr.  Biggar  asked  : — 

'  You  said  you  were  popular  in  the  district  up  to  1880  .'' ' 

I  retorted  with  emphasis  : — 

*  I  never  had  a  serious  threat  until  you  mentioned  my 
name  in  Castleisland,  and  then  people  told  me,  'Get  police 
protection  at  once,  or  you  will  be  shot ! ' 

That  made  the  Court  laugh.  Mr.  Biggar  did  not 
appreciate  the  humour.  He  returned  to  the  charge 
viciously  : — 

'  Did  not  some  of  your  sympathisers  light  a  bonfire  in 
1878  at  Castleisland  on  account  of  the  triumphs  of  your 
buying  the  Harenc  estate  .-^  and  did  not  the  population  of 
Castleisland,  who  knew  your  character,  scatter  that  bonfire, 
and  put  it  out  ?  ' 

'  I   heard  they  had  a   row  over  it.     There  were  nine  bon- 


COMMISSIONS  279 

fires  lighted  in  Kerry  after  I  succeeded.  I  was  fairly  popular 
until  you  held  up  my  name  as  a  subject  for  murder  in  Castle- 
island.  You  said  Hussey  might  be  a  very  bad  man,  but  you 
would  take  care  of  one  thing — that  if  any  person  was  charged 
with  shooting  him,  or  any  other  agent,  they  would  be  defended, 
which  meant  they  would  be  paid.' 

Mr.  Biggar  did  not  appear  to  relish  the  line  he  was  on, 
and  shunted  to  another  topic  ;  but  he  could  not  shake  my 
view  that  the  rents  of  1880  were,  on  the  average,  twenty-five 
per  cent,  lower  than  in  1840. 

'  You  bought  the  Harenc  estate  over  the  heads  of  the 
tenants  ^ ' 

'  No,  I  did  not.' 

'  You  spoke  about  an  address  which  you  received  from  the 
tenants  when  you  were  a  candidate  for  Tralee  ? ' 

'  Yes.' 

Then,  with  the  snarl  of  a  wild  beast,  Mr.  Biggar  blurted 
out : — 

'  Have  you  any  idea  whether  this  was  got  up  by  the  bailiff^s 
on  your  property  ? ' 

'  I  am  quite  certain  it  was  not,  because  I  had  no  bailifis  on 
the  property.  I  gave  an  immense  deal  of  employment,  and  I 
believe  that  had  something  to  do  with  it.' 

Mr,  Biggar  presently  \sat  down,  having  made  less  of  me 
than  he  and  his  friends  hoped. 

On  re-examination,  the  Attorney-General  observed  : — 

'  You  say  one  of  the  bonfires,  lighted  when  you  succeeded, 
was  put  out.  I  suppose  the  Irish  people  are  not  very  averse 
to  a  row  at  times  .'' ' 

'  Oh  no.' 

'  And  bonfires  do  produce  rows  at  times  ? ' 

'  Certainly.' 


28o  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

*  Your  popularity  did  not  depend  on  one  bonfire  ? ' 

'No.' 

Nor  did  my  life,  fortunately,  depend  on  the  good  will 
of  Messrs.  Parnell,  Biggar,  and  their  associates. 

With  reference  to  my  freedom  in  telling  the  truth,  an 
application  was  made  against  me,  in  July  1891,  for  an 
attachment  of  the  Land  Court.  It  ended  abortively,  and 
permitted  me  to  continue  with  perfect  impunity  to  give  in 
letters  to  the  Times  evidence  I  was  debarred  from  giving  in 
Court. 

I  certainly  did  not  miss  a  chance  of  pointing  out  the 
proper  path  to  the  Commissioners,  and  I  have  taken  an  even 
affectionate  interest  in  every  department  of  the  Land  Com- 
mission. Sarcastically,  a  Home  Rule  paper  politely  christened 
me  as  the  fatherly  patron  of  the  Court,  and  informed  me  that 
my  own  conscience  had  given  up  communication  with  me,  in 
consequence  of  the  many  snubs  it  had  received. 

The  intimate  knowledge  of  my  most  private  affairs  that 
this  purports  to  represent  proves  the  empty-headedness  of  the 
writer,  and  when  he  added  that  the  strong  indictment  re- 
bounded off  my  hide  because  I  had  heard  myself  a  hundred 
times  denounced  in  language  equally  eloquent,  I  can  only  agree 
that  he  was  a  mere  lisping  babe  in  comparison  with  some 
adjectival  denunciators  who,  to  their  regret,  find  I  am  still 
alive  and  equal  to  them  all. 


CHAPTER   XXIII 


LATER    DAYS 


With  advancing  years  comes  a  change  in  the  point  of  view, 
for  anticipation  contracts  even  more  than  retrospect  expands. 
Associates  of  early  days  have  passed  away,  and  where  I  was 
once  one  of  a  battalion,  to-day  I  am  only  a  survivor  of  the  old 
guard.  This  is  not  a  cause  for  sadness,  but  an  incentive  to 
take  the  best  of  what  remains  of  life,  though  at  times  chills 
and  other  ills,  including  doctors,  drugs,  and  income-tax,  do 
their  best  to  depress  the  survivor.  It  has  been  said  to  be  a 
characteristic  of  Irish  humour  that  tears  are  very  near  the 
laughter,  and  sometimes  the  unshed  tears  over  lost  oppor- 
tunities must  be  the  chief  bitterness  of  age — one  which  I  have 
been  mercifully  spared. 

After  all,  youth  may  round  the  world  away,  as  Charles 
Kingsley  wrote  ;  but  when  the  wheels  are  run  down,  to  find  at 
home  the  face  I  loved  when  all  was  young  is  the  blessing  of 
life,  and  when,  at  our  golden  wedding,  our  children  called  us 
Darby  and  Joan,  I  am  sure  my  wife  and  I  were  quite  willing 
to  answer  to  the  names. 

This  was  happiness  very  different  to  that  of  George  iv,, 
who,  when  the  death  of  Napoleon  was  announced  to  him  in 
the  words : — 

'  Sir,  your  great  enemy  is  dead,'  exclaimed  : — 

'  Is  she .?     By  Gad  ! '  thinking  it  was  his  wife. 

I   remember   an   amusing   case   that  occurred  in  our  own 


281 


282  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

family.  One  of  my  kith  and  kin,  who  had  been  married  in 
the  year  of  the  battle  of  Waterloo,  died  at  the  ripe  old  age  of 
a  hundred  and  three. 

There  was  a  faithful  old  fellow  on  the  estate  who  was 
much  attached  to  her,  and  this  was  his  view,  just  before  her 
end  : — 

'  I  am  sorry  to  hear  the  old  mistress  is  dying,  very  sorry 
indeed,  for  she 's  been  a  good  mistress  to  us  all.  Maybe  if 
she  had  taken  snufF  she  'd  have  lived  to  a  good  old  age,'  which 
suggests  wonder  as  to  what  his  conception  of  longevity  really 
was.  Probably  the  famous  Countess  of  Desmond,  who  died 
from  the  effects  of  a  fall  from  a  cherry-tree  in  her  one  hundred 
and  fortieth  year,  would  have  satisfied  him. 

I  have  already  observed  that  much  of  my  later  years  has' 
been  spent,  much  against  my  will,  in  London,  and  no  portion 
of  this  period  was  so  satisfactory  to  me  as  my  friendship  with 
Mr.  J.  A.  Froude,  which  I  regard  as  one  of  the  privileges  of 
my  Hfe. 

My  first  acquaintance  with  him  was  in  consequence  of 
reading  his  English  in  Ireland^  which  I  found  so  accurate  and 
informative  that  I  wrote  to  ask  him  for  an  interview.  I  came 
to  like  him  very  much,  not  only  because  he  was  the  most 
gifted  writer  I  have  met,  but  also  because  he  understood 
Ireland  better  than  any  other  Englishman. 

My  first  conversation  with  him  was  in  his  house  in  Onslow 
Gardens,  and  there  I  very  frequently  sat  for  hours  with  him, 
and  he  also  presented  me  with  copies  of  all  his  books,  with  an 
autograph  letter  on  the  fly-leaf  of  each.  I  think  the  recent 
Land  Purchase  Act,  having  been  followed  by  increased  agitation 
for  Home  Rule  in  Ireland,  bears  out  what  he  said  about  the 
folly  of  trying  to  reconcile  the  irreconcilables,  and  also  bears 
out  what  Lord  Morris  called  the  'criminal  idiotcy'  of  attempting 


LATER  DAYS  283 

to  satisfy  eighty  Irish  members,  forty  of  whom  would  have  to 
starve  directly  they  were  satisfied. 

So  far  as  I  am  aware,  Mr.  Froude  never  contemplated 
standing  for  Parliament,  which  would  not  have  been  a  con- 
genial atmosphere  for  him,  though  I  am  convinced  he  would 
have  made  more  mark  at  Westminster  than  his  friend  Mr. 
Lecky,  whom  I  never  had  the  pleasure  of  meeting. 

People  to-day  seem  to  regard  Mr.  Froude  simply  as  the 
Boswell  of  Carlyle,  and,  forgetting  his  own  great  services  to  his- 
torical literature,  degrade  him  to  the  mere  chronicler  of  the 
bilious  sage  of  Chelsea.  This  is  absolutely  a  distortion  of  fact, 
and  one  calculated  to  do  injury  to  the  memory  of  both  these 
famous  men.  Therefore  it  may  be  of  real  utility  to  state  that 
during  my  long  and  very  intimate  acquaintance  with  Mr. 
Froude,  he  never  mentioned  the  name  of  Carlyle  to  me  but 
once,  and  that  was  to  describe  a  conversation  between  Lord 
Wolseley  and  Carlyle,  which  dealt  with  the  contemporary 
situation  in  Ireland.  There  was,  therefore,  nothing  to  show 
me  that  my  friend  '  was  utterly  absorbed  in  the  Carlyles,  and 
had  no  thought  for  any  one  else.'  On  the  contrary,  he  was  a 
man  full  of  keen  interests,  of  which  they  were  only  one,  and, 
as  far  as  I  saw,  an  entirely  subordinate  one.  He  was  a  broad- 
minded  man,  who  hated  petty  misconception  or  a  narrow  view 
of  anything,  and  he  would  have  been  horrified  at  the  prurient 
indecency  with  which  the  most  private  affairs  of  the  Carlyles 
have  been  exposed  and  distorted  to  please  a  public  which  really 
has  a  higher  moral  tone  than  is  possessed  by  those  who  have 
gibbeted  the  defenceless  dead. 

Mr.  Froude  was  not  addicted  to  talking  much  about  his 
own  works,  but  I  remember  his  telling  me  that  Oceana  had 
paid  him  best  of  them  all,  and  I  think  his  view  therein  that  the 
colonies  will   recede    from    England    when   they   are    strong 


284  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

enough,  following  the  example  of  the  United  States,  is 
accurate.  Just  tax  Canada  as  Ireland  has  been  taxed,  and  see 
how  long  the  Canadians  will  be  contented.  The  ministers  of 
George  iii.  tried  that  policy  on  the  United  States  with  the 
result  that,  before  many  years,  George  had  to  receive  the  Pleni- 
potentiary Minister  of  dominions  over  which  he  himself  had 
once  reigned.  It  is  absurd  to  compare  Ireland  with  Yorkshire, 
as  has  been  done,  for  Ireland  once  had  a  separate  Parliament,  and 
the  Union  was  a  matter  of  agreement,  the  outcome  of  which 
was  that  Mr.  Childers's  Commission  found  she  was  taxed  three 
millions  more  than  she  should  have  been.  The  colonies  are  on 
the  alert,  with  all  the  rather  irritable  uppishness  of  youth  on 
the  verge  of  manhood,  and  their  younger  generations  are  sure 
to  take  full  advantage  of  any  tactless  conduct  of  the  British 
Government.  Such  was  Froude's  view,  and  nothing  has 
happened  since  his  death  to  shake  its  inherent  probability. 
The  waves  of  Imperial  patriotism  in  war  time  go  for  very 
little,  for  Ireland  is  admittedly  disloyal,  and  yet  Irish  soldiers 
and  Irish  regiments  were  absolutely  the  most  successful  in 
South  Africa. 

When  the  Government  was  introducing  some  quack 
measure  into  Ireland,  Froude  wrote  to  me  : — 

'  I  see  they  are  putting  some  fresh  sticks  under  the  Irish 
pot,  so  it  will  soon  boil  over.' 

Which  it  did,  with  a  vengeance. 

To  the  end  of  his  days  Froude  was  a  great  reader,  but  his 
interest  in  Church  affairs  and  in  ecclesiastical  differences  had 
completely  died  away.  He  told  me  that  the  most  accurate 
man  of  business  of  any  period  was  Philip  of  Spain,  and 
that  his  notes  and  memoranda  were  a  marvel  of  practical 
aptitude.  He  derived  the  chief  information  for  his  History 
of  England  from    Spanish    despatches,    and    would    to-day 


LATER  DAYS  285 

have    benefited    considerably    by    the    translations    of   Major 
Martin  Hume. 

Personally  Froude  had  no  cranks ;  his  disposition  was  most 
urbane,  whilst  he  was  very  neat  in  his  appearance  and  also  in 
his  handwriting.  It  would  certainly  be  of  interest  to  give  a  few 
of  his  racy  letters,  too  often  undated,  which  I  have  preserved. 
Unfortunately,  his  executors  firmly  refuse  the  necessary  legal 
consent,  so  that  I  am  compelled  to  make  my  book  irreparably 
the  poorer  by  omitting  what  should  have  been  one  of  its  most 
attractive  contents.  In  justice  to  Froude's  memory,  I  ought 
to  add  that  there  was  nothing  in  his  correspondence  with  me 
that  would  have  diminished  his  high  repute.  I  mention  this 
because  otherwise  busybodies  might  have  misinterpreted  the 
arbitrary  action  of  his  executors  to  the  detriment  of  his  fame. 

A  later  friendship  than  that  with  Froude  also  must  have 
a  sincere  allusion  in  these  pages,  for  I  have  derived  much 
pleasure  from  my  association  with  Sir  Henry  Howorth,  a  ripe 
old  lawyer  of  Portuguese  extraction,  who  has  rendered  valuable 
political  service  by  his  polemical  letters  to  the  TimeSy  on  which 
I  can  pass  a  most  favourable  opinion.  His  histories  of  the 
Mongols,  the  Mammoth,  and  the  Flood  are  possibly  more 
permanent,  but  they  are  not  of  such  contemporary  note.  At 
any  rate,  I  respect  them  from  a  distance,  whilst  I  admire  the 
political  effusions  as  the  capital  work  of  a  comrade  under 
arms,  and  one  who  is  not  afraid  to  verbally  bludgeon  any 
formidable  contemporary  Hooligans. 

Sir  Henry  Howorth  occasionally  breaks  out  into  a  story, 
though  he  is  more  frequently  a  listener  to  mine.  This  is  one 
of  his  that  I  happen  to  recall : — 

The  Mayor  of  Richmond  gave  a  dinner,  at  which  a 
distinguished  Frenchman  sat  next  the  Mayor's  son,  and  on 
replying  for  the  guests  in  imperfect  English,  observed  : — 


286  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

'  I  am  vary  happy  to  be  here,  and  to  meet  my  young 
friend,  who  is  a  sheep  of  the  old  bloke,'  meaning,  of  course,  a 
chip  of  the  old  block. 

I  plead  guilty  to  have  materially  increased  the  interest 
felt  by  Sir  Henry  in  Irish  affairs,  which  is  not  diminished 
by  the  fact  that  a  niece  of  Lord  Ashbourne  is  married  to 
his  son. 

I  think  it  was  to  him  that  I  recommended  another  panacea 
for  the  evils  of  Ireland,  namely,  that  it  would  be  a  good  plan 
to  exchange  Ireland  for  Holland,  for  the  Dutch  would  reclaim 
Ireland,  and  the  Irish  would  neglect  the  banks  of  Holland, 
with  the  eventual  result  that  the  living  Irish  question  would 
be  washed  away. 

Just  now  I  alluded  to  a  mayor,  which  reminds  me  of  a 
story  about  an  Irish  mayoress.  As  his  Majesty  has  by  this 
time  been  entertained  at  several  Corporation  luncheons,  it  is 
not  invidious  to  give  the  tale. 

The  Mayoress,  who  was  the  heroine  of  the  festal  occasion 
in  question,  felt  completely  overpowered  by  the  royal  society 
in  which  she  found  herself,  and  when  seated  at  the  meal  next 
to  the  King,  was  absolutely  unable  to  articulate  any  reply  at 
all  to  the  observations  he  addressed  to  her,  so  eventually  he 
gave  her  up,  and  turned  his  colloquial  attentions  to  the  lady 
on  the  other  side. 

After  a  while,  fortified  by  the  champagne,  the  Mayoress 
grew  more  courageous,  and,  admiring  the  gentleman  in  full 
uniform  on  her  right,  said  to  him  : — 

*  Might  I  be  so  bowld  as  to  ask  whether  you  are  Lord 
Plunket.?' 

'  No,'  he  replied,  with  a  smile,  '  I  am  not.' 

'  Would  you  mind  telling  me  who  you  are,  for  I  'm  sure  I 
don't  know  ^ ' 


LATER  DAYS  287 

'  I  am  the  Duke  of  Connaught,'  complaisantly  replied  her 
neighbour,  upon  which  she  gasped : — 

*  Oh,  God  in  Heaven,  another  of  them  ! '  and  subsided  into 
unbroken  silence  for  the  rest  of  the  repast. 

Another  amusing  case  of  mistaken  identity  occurred  when 
Mr.  Gladstone  was  concocting  his  treasonable  Home  Rule  Bill. 
He  had  been  informed  that  Lord  Clonbrook  would  be  able  to 
give  him  invaluable  information,  so  he  told  his  wife  to  ask  him 
to  luncheon.  She,  however,  mistaking  the  name,  invited  the 
late  Lord  Clonmel,  a  jovial  sportsman  known  to  his  friends  by 
the  nickname  of  '  Old  Sherry.' 

Somewhat  surprised  at  being  thus  honoured,  Lord  Clonmel 
consulted  a  few  cronies,  who  all  advised  him  to  accept,  and  in 
due  course  he  proceeded  to  Downing  Street,  where  he  found 
the  French  Ambassador  was  the  only  other  guest.  It  is 
possible  that  Mr.  Gladstone  thought  him  a  little  odd  and 
his  attire  somewhat  demonstrative,  but  he  was  prepared  for 
any  eccentricity  in  an  Irish  peer,  and  hardly  noticed  how 
excellently  his  guest  was  doing  justice  to  the  meal,  whilst 
preserving  impenetrable  silence.  Directly  it  was  over,  the 
Prime  Minister  took  him  apart,  and  said : — 

'  Now  I  want  you,  privately  and  confidentially,  to  give  me 
your  view  of  the  exact  relation  between  landlord  and  tenant  in 
Ireland.' 

'  Absolute  hell,  my  dear  boy,  absolute  hell,'  was  the 
emphatic  reply  of  the  old  sportsman. 

That  confidential  conversation  went  no  further  ;  but  I 
have  never  been  sure  that  Lord  Clonmel  in  the  least  overstated 
the  case. 

This  renewed  allusion  to  the  lower  regions  that  appears  so 
closely  connected  with  Irish  aiFairs  reminds  me  of  an  amusing 
incident  which  took  place  in  a  Dublin  tram.     Two  members 


288  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

of  the  fair  sex  were  discussing  their  plans  for  the  summer  in 
the  interior  of  a  car,  and  one  of  them  in  a  mincing  brogue 
said  to  the  other  : — 

'  I  think  I  shall  go  to  England  this  summer  ;  it  is  so 
difficult  in  Ireland  to  get  away  from  the  vulgar  Irish.' 

'  Faix,'  screamed  in  much  indignation  an  old  Biddy  sitting 
opposite,  '  if  it 's  the  vulgar  Irish  you  want  to  avoid,  and  the 
English  you  want  to  be  meeting,  it 's  to  hell  you  must  go,  and 
you  'd  better  go  there  this  summer.' 

That 's  the  sort  of  quick  retort  which  a  Scotchman  calls 
Irish  insolence,  but  then,  who  expects  appreciation  of  real 
wit  from  any  one  canny  ^  Wit  is  irresponsible,  a  truly  Irish 
propensity. 

The  two  mincing  young  women  were  almost  as  much 
disgusted  as  another  old  lady  who  found  herself  opposite  a 
stalwart  working  man,  who  incensed  her  by  his  frequent 
expectoration.  Gathering  her  skirts  round  her  somewhat 
ample  form,  she  called  the  conductor  and  asked  : — 

'  Is  spitting  allowed  in  this  tram  ?  ' 

'  By  all  manes,  me  lady,'  was  the  gallant  reply,  '  shpit 
anywhere  you  like.' 

While  alluding  to  trams,  I  cannot  forbear  relating  one 
other  Dublin  tale,  which  Lord  Morris  picked  up  from  me 
and  was  fond  of  telling.     Its  brief  course  runs  thus  :-^ 

'  Would  you  tell  me,  if  you  plaze,  where  I  '11  find  the 
Blackrock  tram  .'' '  asked  a  fussy  little  old  woman  of  a  police- 
man, busily  engaging  in  manoeuvring  the  traffic  of  a  crowded 
street. 

'  In  wan  minute  you  '11  find  it  in  the  shmall  of  your  back,' 
was  the  laconic  reply. 

The  mere  allusion  to  a  query  suggests  how  the  British 
tourist  invariably  starts  trying  to  discuss  the  Irish  question 


LATER  DAYS  289 

directly  he  is  across  the  Channel,  and  the  insoluble  part 
to  any  Saxon  is  that  half  the  Irish  do  not  seem  to  desire  a 
solution  at  all. 

'  What  a  fine  country  this  would  be  if  it  were  peaceful,' 
observed  a  thoughtful  Britisher,  with  a  Cook's  ticket  in  his 
pocket,  on  Killarney  Lake. 

'  Peace  !  What  would  we  do  with  it .'' '  was  the  scornful 
reply  of  his  boatman,  surprised  for  once  into  ejaculating  the 
truth. 

Some  landlords  know  how  hopeless  it  is  to  attempt  to 
prevail  against  these  sons  of  our  epoch. 

'  It  has  been  of  no  use  to  hold  up  a  candle  to  the  hydra- 
headed  devil,'  said  one  landlord  to  me  about  his  tenants,  '  for 
affability  is  more  expensive  than  absenteeism.  If  I  say,  "  Good 
morning,  Tom,"  the  fellow  expects  twenty  per  cent,  off  the 
rent,  and  "  How  's  your  family  .?  "  is  considered  to  imply  forty 
per  cent,  abatement ' — and  that  cannot  be  called  putting  a 
premium  on  good  fellowship  from  the  landlord's  point  of 
view. 

I  have  not  said  much  about  the  way  in  which  the  Irish 
in  America  foster  insurrection,  because  it  does  not  come 
within  my  own  province.  But  I  have  before  me  the  type- 
written essay  on  the  subject  composed  by  a  Kerry  landlord, 
who,  in  his  lifetime,  had  exceptional  opportunities  of  judging 
of  this  in  New  York,  and  from  it  I  am  tempted  to  take  a 
few  sentences  as  the  manuscript  is  never  likely  to  see  the 
light  of  print. 

'  There  are  three  distinct  types  of  the  Irish- American 
Home  Ruler,  who  have  been  and  are  even  now  supporting 
with  their  dollars  or  their  eloquence,  the  "  Irish  Cause  "  as  it  is 
somewhat  vaguely  termed  throughout  the  United  States. 
They  can  be  distinguished  as  follows  : — 

T 


290  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

'  I .  The  American  -  born  Irishman  of  immediate  Irish 
descent. 

'  2.  The  native  Irishman  who  has  emigrated  from  Ireland. 

'  3.  The  American  Irish- American  of  long  American  descent, 
who,  though  not  inheriting  a  drop  of  Irish  blood,  is  yet  a 
vigorous  if  not  obstreperous  ally  of  the  Irish  party  in  America. 
This  last  is  the  most  striking  of  the  three,  as  on  the  face  of 
it,  he  would  not  appear  to  have  any  logical  raison  d'etre  as  a 
political  entity,  but  in  reality  exerts  a  powerful  influence  in 
favour  of  "  the  Cause." 

'  One  phase  of  the  methods  favoured  by  Irish-American 
Home  Rulers  is  the  ingenuity  with  which  cable  reports,  as 
printed  in  the  newspapers,  are  utilised  for  platform  purposes. 
Let  an  account  be  flashed  under  the  Atlantic  descriptive  of 
some  agrarian  demonstration  in  Ireland,  which  having  been 
declared  illegal,  is  dispersed  by  military.  Forthwith  the 
opportunity  is  seized,  and  on  some  public  platform  or  at 
some  big  banquet,  the  fervid  orator  poses  as  the  champion 
of  human  liberty.  "  Another  British  outrage  upon  the  Irish 
people  !  A  brutal  and  licentious  soldiery  let  loose  to  gag 
free  speech  and  prevent,  at  the  point  of  the  bayonet,  the 
exercise  of  the  rights  of  freeman.  Thank  God,  that  you  and 
I  my  Irish-American  fellow-citizens,  are  living  in  this  glorious 
republic,  where  such  things  are  impossible  !  " 

*  After  hearing  this  amazing  outburst,  it  is  well  to  recall 
actual  facts,  and  compare  the  methods  of  suppressing  riots  in 
the  United  States  and  the  United  Kingdom.  For  example, 
on  July  12,  1 87 1,  a  number  of  Orangemen  had  organised  a 
procession  through  the  principal  thoroughfares  of  New  York, 
which  was  resented  by  a  large  contingent  of  Catholic  Irish- 
men, and  on  a  violent  collision  ensuing,  the  State  militia  was 
called  out  to  restore  order,  a  task  they  most  effectually  accom- 


LATER  DAYS  291 

plished  by  firing  volleys  into  the  crowd  of  belligerents.  The 
citizen  soldiery  of  America  are  accustomed  to  adopt  summary 
measures  with  impunity.  They  possess  the  resolution  of  the 
Irish  constabulary  without  the  uncomfortable  vacillation  of 
Dublin  Castle  to  thwart  their  efforts.' 

In  the  past  the  Irish  vote  in  America  has  been  hostile  to 
England,  and  has  had  much  to  do  with  that  measure  of  ill- 
feeling  in  the  United  States  which  has  deterred  that  Union  of 
the  Anglo-Saxon  races  that  would  enable  them  to  lick  creation. 

An  example  may  be  cited  in  the  case  of  Egan.  This 
man  was  an  ex-Fenian  leader,  who  wielded  much  influence 
in  Nationalistic  circles  as  far  back  as  the  seventies,  and  when 
he  was  Treasurer  of  the  Land  League,  he  is  described  by  Mr. 
Michael  Davitt — who  ought  to  have  a  fine  capacity  for  dis- 
criminating degrees  of  scoundrelism — as  the  most  active  and 
able  of  the  Nationalist  leaders  in  Dublin.  Some  time  after 
the  Phoenix  Park  murders  he  settled  in  the  United  States, 
and  whilst  distinguishing  himself  by  the  exceptional  violence 
of  his  appeals  on  behalf  of  outrageous  Ireland,  he  was  actually 
sent  as  American  Minister  to  Chili.  This  would  not  have 
caused  me  to  notice  him  here  but  because  it  is  necessary  the 
community  should  be  warned  that,  unlike  a  good  many  of 
his  contemporaries  and  comrades,  he  is  not  an  extinct  volcano. 
On  March  10  of  this  current  year,  when  still  the  chief 
Nationalist  in  the  States,  he  had  a  long  interview  with  Count 
Cassini,  the  Russian  Minister  at  the  Russian  Embassy  at  Wash- 
ington, just  before  a  meeting  of  all  the  diplomatic  representa- 
tives, and  the  American  correspondent  of  the  Morning  Post 
does  not  hesitate  to  accuse  Russia  of  financially  assisting  the 
cause  which  Egan  fosters.  This  sort  of  thing  ought  not  to  be 
ignored  in  England.  As  an  international  action,  it  is  hitting 
below  the  belt,  and  when  bad  times  come  again  to  Ireland  the 


292  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

Nationalists  will  look  to  the  Ministers  of  the  Great  Bear  for 
funds,  and  are  not  likely  to  be  disappointed.  Still  it  is  curious 
that  a  Government  which,  at  home,  exiles  Nihilists  and  other 
bomb-throwers  should,  abroad,  give  contributions  to  the  cause 
that  instigated  the  blowing  up  of  my  house,  and  the  outrages 
which  rendered  Ireland  so  notorious. 

Not  many  years  ago  my  wife  was  once  more  seriously 
alarmed  at  Edenburn  by  the  formidable  proclivities  of  a  man 

P ,  who  sat  all  day  at  my  gate  with  a  gun,  which  he  said 

he  used  for  shooting  rabbits  :  but  we  all  knew  I  was  the  rabbit 
he  wanted  to  put  in  his  bag.  However,  he  has  gone  to 
another  sphere,  and  I  am  spending  the  present  summer  of 
1904  very  happily  in  the  same  county. 

A  couple  of  letters  addressed  there  showing  the  way  in 
which  an  old  widow  expresses  herself,  when  after  great  labour 
she  has  delivered  herself  of  an  epistle,  may  not  prove  un- 
diverting.  The  point  is  the  amount  she  can  obtain  from  her 
children. 

'  Samuel  Mr.  Hussey  Esq. 

Sir — I  hope  you  will  be  good  enough  to  speak  to 
Downing  to  give  me  Justice.  They  have  any  amount  of 
cattle,  2  horses,  and  my  son-in-law's  wife  carried  78  pounds 
book  account  before  Mr.  Downing  got  the  case  in  hands 
I  would  get  2  hundred  pounds.  I  think  it  little  for 
me  according  to  the  means  that  was  theirs.  Now  sir,  two 
daughtors  very  ritch  sir  minding  milk  and  butter  and  the  one 
taking  it  away  and  selling  it.  My  son  is  not  wright  in  his 
health  or  mind.  They  turned  him  against  me  and  he  is  more 
fooHsh  than  your  Honour  would  believe.  He  says  he  will 
give  his  uncle  that  ran  away  long  ago  to  America  mortgage, 
that  Mr.  Downing  gave  him  power  to  do  what  he  like  and 
those  two  daughters  are  very  well  off  and  they  will  not  allow 


LATER  DAYS  293 

me  to  do  anything.  Sir  I  am  shamed  of  the  way  they  are 
treating  me.  My  health  and  mind  is  very  good,  thanks  be 
to  God  and  to  you  two  Sir.  They  would  not  give  me  the 
price  of  the  habit  that  was  berried  with  their  father.  Sir  it 
would  not  pay  my  debts  and  support  me  long.  My  father 
lived  100  years.  The  Judge  said  I  would  live  longer.  Sir 
three  hundred  pounds  is  little  enough  for  me  according  to 
the  means  that  is  theirs.  If  I  went  into  the  workhouse  I 
would  not  take  what  they  wish  to  give  me.  £160  they 
are  giving  me  and  I  have  my  Confidence  in  God  and  in 
your  Honour's  charity  that  you  will  be  good  enough  to 
speak  for  me.  If  the  land  don't  sell  to  5  hundred 
pounds  I  will  give  it  back  to  the  attorney.  Will  your 
Honour  tell  them  and  I  '11  pray  to  God  sir  ever  to  bless 
you.  Faithfully, 

Mary  Lucy.' 

And  the  same  dame  favoured  me  with  this  further  effusion: 

'Mr.  Hussey  Esq. 

Sir — 100  pounds  was  offered  to  me  before  the  purchase, 
a  foolish  priest  making  little  of  me,  himself  trying  to  get  it 
for  his  friends.  The  Bishop,  Sir,  is  kind  to  me  always.  For 
he  knows  I  was  wronged  and  he  don't  like  the  foolish  priest, 
and  when  I  complain  of  him  he  is  very  good.  Sir  some  good 
people  tell  me  that  anyone  at  all  have  no  claim  but  myself  and 
I  wish  it  was  true  as  all  is  very  valuable.  Mr.  Connor  is 
very  truthful  and  nice  to  me  Sir  when  I  will  see  him  I  am 
very  sure  he  will  wish  me  well  and  all  the  good  Honourable 
Gentlemen  and  yourself  are  the  best  of  all  to  my  equals.  I 
know  it  very  well  and  I  will  for  ever  pray  to  God  in  Heaven 
for  you. 

Faithfully, 

Mary  Lucy.' 


294  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

So  a  landlord  and  agent,  even  in  1 904,  still  has  a  few  of 
the  patriarchal  attributes  in  the  eyes  of  the  tenants.  But  to 
sift  wheat  from  chaff  is  easier  than  to  sift  truth  from  the 
lying  blandishments  employed  on  such  occasions. 

The  reference  to  the  priest  shows  that  though  always 
feared,  when  the  land-passion  seizes  a  parishioner,  he  is  set  at 
as  much  defiance  as  possible,  should  he  be  moderate,  and  these 
are  the  only  occasions  when  they  venture  to  tell  their  con- 
fessor unpleasant  truths  to  his  face,  for  in  some  country 
districts  they  are  still  convinced  that  the  priests  have  power  to 
transform  them  into  frogs  and  mice. 

A  priest  once  threatened  a  bibulous  parishioner,  that  if  he 
did  not  become  more  sober  in  his  habits,  he  would  change 
him  into  a  mouse. 

'  Biddy,  me  jewel,  I  can't  believe  Father  Pat  would  have 
that  power  over  me,'  said  the  man  that  same  evening  as  the 
shadows  fell,  '  but  all  the  same  you  might  as  well  shut  up  the 
cat.' 

Over  elections  the  priests  have  paramount  influence  as  I 
have  already  shown,  but  may  cite  an  example  at  the  last  County 
election  in  Kerry,  when  three  candidates  stood.  Sir  Thomas 
Esmonde  (Anti-Parnellite),  Mr.  Harrington  (Parnellite),  and 
Mr.  Palmer  (Conservative).  The  last-named  out  of  a  poll  of 
six  thousand  obtained  seventy  votes.  One  of  them  was  given 
after  the  following  fashion. 

An  illiterate  voter  at  Killorglin  being  asked  in  the  polling 
booth  how  he  wished  to  vote,  replied  : — 

'  For  my  parish  priest.' 

'  But  he  is  not  a  candidate.  The  three  are  Esmonde, 
Palmer,  and  Harrington.  ' 

'  Well,  then,  I  '11  vote  for  Palmer,  because  it  is  more  like 
Father  Lawler  than  the  others.' 


LATER  DAYS  295 

Naturally  all  concerned  were  convulsed  with  laughter,  but 
the  vote  was  duly  recorded. 

It  is  no  uncommon  thing  to  see  priests  carefully  teaching 
illiterate  voters  the  appearance  of  the  name  of  the  candidate 
for  whom  they  are  to  poll,  and  also  giving  them  printed  cards 
merely  containing  his  name,  so  that  they  can  recognise  it  on 
the  voting-card. 

Of  course  an  Irishman  would  take  a  bribe  one  way  and 
calmly  vote  another.  But  even  this  diplomatic  tendency  is 
outwitted  by  the  priests,  for  nowadays,  when  they  have  any 
doubt  of  the  political  sincerity  of  a  man,  they  insist  on  his 
declaring  himself  an  illiterate  voter.  Then  the  whole  question 
of  who  is  to  be  voted  for  is  gone  through  audibly  and  verbally, 
so  that  the  honesty  of  the  voter  is  known  to  those  hanging 
round.  In  the  parish  of  Milltown,  the  education  is  as  com- 
plete as  in  any  in  Ireland,  but  at  the  last  election,  one  third  of 
the  voters  confessed  themselves  illiterate,  with  the  result  anti- 
cipated by  the  priest. 

If  the  priest  understands  his  parishioner — a  thing  which 
admits  of  no  possible  shadow  of  doubt — it  is  equally  certain 
that  the  Englishman  does  not,  as  is  shown  by  the  following 
frivolous  tale,  always  a  favourite  of  mine. 

*  Paddy,'  said  a  tourist  at  Killarney,  '  I  '11  give  you  sixpence 
if  you  '11  tell  me  the  biggest  lie  you  ever  told  in  your  life.' 

'  Begorra,    your    honour 's    a    gentleman  !      Give    me    the 
sixpence  !  ' 

No  one  would  have  thought  of  making  such  an  offer 
to  an  English  loafer,  and  no  English  loafer  would  have  had 
the  wit  to  so  neatly  earn  his  emolument. 

It  is  the  assumption  of  simplicity  that  does  the  trick, 
and  so  well  is  that  put  on  that  it  comes  close  to  the  real 
thing. 


296  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

The  other  day,  when  the  King  and  Queen  were  at  Punches- 
town,  a  Britisher  chartered  a  car  at  Naas  to  drive  out  to  the 
course,  and  on  the  way  remonstrated  with  the  carman  on 
the  starved  condition  of  his  horse,  whose  ribs  would  have 
served  for  an  anatomical  study. 

'  Well,  your  honour,'  the  jarvey  explained,  '  it 's  an 
unlucky  horse.' 

'  How  unlucky  ?  '  asked  the  Englishman. 

'  Well,  it 's  this  way,  your  honour.  Each  morning  I  toss 
with  that  horse  whether  he  shall  have  his  feed  of  oats  or  I  have 
my  glass  of  whisky,  and  would  your  honour  credit  it,  the  horse 
has  lost  these  ten  days  past.' 

I  am  reminded  of  the  reply  given  by  Lord  Derby  to  a 
gentleman  who  sent  him  a  dozen  of  very  light  claret,  which 
he  said  would  suit  his  gout.  Lord  Derby  subsequently 
thanked  him,  but  said  he  preferred  the  gout,  and  I  have  no 
doubt  that  that  horse,  had  he  been  able  to  give  tongue,  would 
have  been  an  ardent  upholder  of  teetotalism  when  it  ensured 
him  a  feed  of  oats. 

One  more  story  of  Lord  Derby,  as  I  have  just  mentioned 
his  name  : — 

A  worthy  trader  had  bothered  him  to  let  him  stand 
for  a  certain  borough  on  the  Tory  ticket,  but  the  Whig 
was  returned  unopposed  on  the  day  of  the  nomination,  and 
the  candidate  was  subsequently  attacked  by  Lord  Derby  for 
not  coming  forward  as  he  had  promised. 

The  man  was  almost  as  shaky  in  his  aspirates  as  in  his 
political  propensities,  and  his  reply  was  : — 

'  I  would  have  stood,  my  lord,  but  there  was  a  'itch  in 
the  way.' 

'  It  was  the  more  necessary  for  you  to  come  to  the  scratch,' 
was  the  immediate  retort. 


LATER  DAYS  297 

I  always  find  that  story  popular  at  the  Carlton,  where 
I  spend  my  afternoons  when  in  London.  I  was  proposed 
by  Mr,  James  Lowther  and  seconded  by  the  Duke  of 
Marlborough,  and  very  much  obliged  have  I  been  to  them 
both,  for  I  have  many  acquaintances  there,  and  it  has  all 
the  conveniences  of  a  comfortable  hotel,  without  having 
to  pay  extravagantly  for  the  privilege  of  looking  at  a 
waiter. 

In  the  intervals  of  reading  the  papers  and  listening  to 
other  people,  I  have  there,  as  elsewhere,  endeavoured  to 
impart  what  I  know  to  others  who  know  nothing  about 
Ireland.  They  know  much  more  about  China  or  the 
aboriginal  tribes  of  Australia,  in  London,  than  they  do  on 
the  topics  dearest  to  me. 

An  English  Radical  member,  after  a  long  chat  with  my 
son  Maurice,  observed  : — 

'  You  actually  mean  to  say  that  if  Home  Rule  were 
given  to  Ireland  you  would  not  be  allowed  to  reside 
there .? ' 

'  Certainly  not,'  replied  Maurice,  who  knew  what  he  was 
talking  about. 

The  member  replied  that  he  could  not  believe  him, 
but  that  if  he  had  known  that  that  was  the  real  nature  of 
the  Bill  he  would  never  have  voted  for  it. 

I  could  not  desire  a  better  example  of  English  wisdom 
on  this  subject — one  which  Lord  Rosebery  has  consigned 
to  a  distant  date  in  futurity,  foreseeing  that  if  the  Opposi- 
tion are  to  be  handicapped  with  Home  Rule  they  will  not 
stand  a  forty  to  one  chance  at  the  next  election. 

That  election  will,  of  course,  turn  on  Protection,  and 
I  am  therefore  tempted  to  quote  from  an  article  I  con- 
tributed to  Murray's  Magazine  in  July  1887,  entitled  'After 


298  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

the  Crimes  Bill,  What  Next  ? '  for  I  feel  my  forecast  of 
over  fourteen  years  ago  may  serve  a  useful  purpose  to-day. 
It  ran  thus : — 

'  In  my  next  suggestion  I  feel  that  I  am  treading  on 
dangerous  ground  ;  still,  having  undertaken  to  suggest  a 
remedy  for  Irish  discontent  and  anarchy,  I  must  not  shrink 
from  offending  the  prejudices  of  some  of  the  wise  men  of 
England. 

'  Ireland  is  an  agricultural  country.  There  are  in  Ulster, 
as  in  England  and  Scotland,  factories  which  support  the 
greater  portion  of  the  population,  and  cause  the  prosperity 
of  the  province ;  but  outside  of  Ulster,  cattle  and  butter 
are  the  staple  products.  And  how  does  Ireland  stand  in 
her  only  market,  England,  as  compared  with  other  nations  .'' 
She  enjoys  free  trade  in  butter,  no  doubt,  but  so  do  France 
and  Holland  ;  but  these  countries,  while  they  find  an  open 
market  in  England,  tax  all  English  and  Irish  productions, 
and  being  manufacturing  countries  themselves  they  can  afford 
to  sell  butter  at  so  cheap  a  rate  as  to  swamp  Ireland's  market. 
A  slight  protective  duty  on  foreign  butter  would  be  hailed 
with  gratitude  in  Ireland,  and  do  more  to  allay  discontent 
than  any  further  acts  of  so-called  "  generosity." 

'  Again,  the  great  thinly  peopled  countries  of  the  West 
find  in  England  a  free  market  for  cattle  and  flour,  and 
America  taxes  very  highly  all  English  goods.  Why  not 
place  Ireland  on  a  par  with  America,  by  levying  a  slight 
protective  duty  on  American  beef  and  flour  ^  Every  little 
village  in  Ireland  formerly  had  its  flour  mill,  which  worked 
up  the  corn  grown  in  the  country  as  well  as  imported  grain. 
These  mills  are  now  generally  idle  and  the  men  who  worked 
them  ruined.  A  small  duty  on  manufactured  flour  would 
restore  this  industry,  and   enable  men  with   some   capital  to 


LATER  DAYS  299 

give  employment  to  labour,  and  to  work  up  in  small  quantities 
for  the  farmer,  at  a  cheap  rate,  their  home-grown  corn,  as  well 
as  to  grind  imported  grain.  Our  own  colonies  may  have,  no 
doubt,  a  right  to  object  to  our  taxing  their  goods,  but  not  so 
foreign  countries. 

'  The  Free  Trade  system  of  England  would,  no  doubt,  have 
been  successful  if  reciprocated.  But  the  question  is  worth 
considering,  whether  the  English  people  do  not  now  lose 
more  by  taxation  resulting  from  the  chronic  state  of  rebellion 
in  Ireland  than  she  gains  by  bringing  in  American  beef  and 
flour,  and  foreign  butter  and  butterine,  free,  to  the  im- 
poverishment of  Ireland,  and  of  the  agricultural  portions  of 
England  and  Scotland  ?  "  Remedial  measures  "  for  an  agri- 
cultural country  are  certainly  not  those  which  spoil  its 
market.' 

Don't  dismiss  that  as  pre-Chamberlainese  Protection  for 
it  is  sheer  common-sense  on  a  matter  of  national  importance, 
and  what  I  wrote  in  1887,  ^^^er  many  years,  has  become 
part  of  the  political  convictions  of  a  great  and  an  increasing 
party. 

I  wonder  what  the  Protective  party  will  be  like  when 
it  eventually  comes  into  office.  Promises  out  of  office 
are  often  the  whale  which  only  produces  the  sprat  of  legis- 
lation when  the  time  of  fulfilment  arrives.  This  is  an 
impartial  opinion  on  most  Cabinets  of  the  last  fifty  years. 

One  of  the  few  occasions  on  which  a  recent  British 
Government  has  recently  shown  some  signs  of  appreciating 
a  really  keen  and  capable  man  was  when  they  made  Mr.  Ellison 
Macartney,  Master  of  the  Mint. 

I  wrote  and  congratulated  him,  observing  that  I  hoped 
he  would  never  be  short  of  money,  but  if  that  was  his  plight 
all  he  had  to  do  was  to  coin  it  for  himself. 


300  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

I  have  a  bad  recollection  for  faces,  and  one  day  in  Dublin 
his  father  came  up  to  me,  and  seeing  I  did  not  remember  him, 
recalled  a  story  with  which  I  had  amused  him  in  the  lobby  of 
the  House  of  Commons. 

It  was  to  this  effect,  and  may  prove  new  to  others  : — 

Coming  out  of  Glasgow  one  evening  two  Irishmen  way- 
laid a  Scotsman  for  the  sake  of  plunder.  He  was  nearly 
enough  for  them  both,  but  numbers  prevailed,  and  when  they 
had  mastered  him,  after  searching  his  pockets,  they  only  found 
three  halfpence. 

Said  one  Hibernian  to  the  other  : — 

'  Glory  be  to  the  Saints,  Mick,  what  a  fight  he  made  for 
three  halfpence.' 

*  Oh,'  replied  the  other,  '  it  was  the  mercy  of  the  Lord  he 
had  not  tuppence,  or  he  'd  have  killed  the  pair  of  us.' 

Killing  suggests  the  Kerry  militia,  the  corps  in  which 
no  one  dies  except  of  good  fellowship,  one  which  has  done 
a  good  deal  to  unite  the  divergent  interests  of  north  and 
south  Kerry,  and  which  provides  fine  physical  development 
for  soldiers  of  all  ranks. 

Last  year  the  militia  received  a  grant  of  £120  from 
Government  to  be  expended  on  route  marching  with  the 
band  through  the  county  in  order  to  promote  recruiting. 
The  net  haul  in  the  Milltown  district  was  the  village  idiot, 
who  promised  to  enlist  after  the  next  sessions  if  the  jailer 
did  not  take  him — he  being  apprehensive  of  committal  to 
prison. 

But  even  this  was  not  enough,  for  his  mother  came  to 
a  neighbouring  magistrate,  weeping  and  praying  for  his 
remission,  because — 

'  It  was  a  drunken  freak  on  Patrick,  for  if  the  lad  had 
kept  his  senses,  sure,  he  would  never  have  done  it.' 


LATER  DAYS  301 

Another  Kerry  man  being  asked  why  his  son  did  not 
enlist,  replied : — 

'  Ah,  Jamsie  was  not  a  big  enough  scamp  for  the  militia, 
because  you  have  to  be  a  great  blackguard  before  you  can 
get  in  there.' 

Which  shows  that  the  camel  and  needle's  eye  trick  is 
easier  to  perform  than  to  induce  a  country-bred  man  to 
enlist  in  the  King's  militia  ;  though  once  in,  every  fellow 
loves  it. 

This  intimation  of  an  army  suggests  an  anecdote  of  the 
past  war-time.  The  militia  was  being  embodied,  and  several 
landlords  who  held  commissions  were  going  under  canvas  with 
the  corps  at  Gosport.  One  of  his  tenants  stopped  a  popular 
landlord  on  the  road  and  asked : — 

'  What  do  you  want  to  go  to  be  shot  at  by  them  Boers 
for,  sir  ? ' 

'  To  be  sure,  Tim,  my  tenants  have  the  first  right  to  shoot 
me,  have  they  not? '  was  the  prompt  reply. 

The  fellow  roared  with  laughter  at  the  retort,  and  after 
shaking  hands,  wished  him  luck. 

It  was  also  characteristic  of  Irish  proclivities  for  a  soft- 
voiced  woman  on  the  estate  to  say  to  Miss  Leeson 
Marshall : — 

'  When  the  war  broke  out  first  we  were  all  praying  that 
the  English  might  be  beaten  out  of  South  Africa.  Then 
when  Mr.  Marshall  went  away  to  the  army,  we  thought  we 
should  not  like  his  side  to  lose,  so  we  changed  our  prayers 
round  by  the  blessing  of  God  and  His  Saints.' 

If  any  real  impression  has  been  given  in  these  pages  of 
the  inconsistent  Irish  character,  the  genuine  character  of  this 
sentiment  will  be  comprehensible.  It  has  been  said  that 
an  Irishman  will  tell  the  truth  about  everything  except  one 


302  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 

thing — that,  of  course,  is  a  horse.  When  not  engaged  in 
shooting  his  landlord,  the  tenant  is  by  no  means  disaffected 
to  him,  whilst  the  female  appurtenances,  mindful  of  all  the 
small  doles  they  obtain,  are  much  more  voluble  in  their  cordial 
protestations. 

Sometimes  the  women  are  enigmatical  :  one  does  not 
know  if  they  are  acting  out  of  kindness  or  from  duplicity. 
For  example,  not  so  long  ago  a  girl  came  up  to  one  of 
my  daughters  in  the  road  and  said  to  her  : — 

*For  the  love  of  God  tell  your  mother   to    order   your 
father's  coffin  for  he  '11  need  it,  the  Saints  preserve  us.' 

And  with  that  she  started  away  before  there  was  time  to 
reply. 

Nothing  came  of  it,  of  course  :  nothing  ever  has,  of  real 
importance. 

Nothing,  alas,  also  seems  so  often  to  be  the  verdict  on 
life  when  looking  back.  Mine,  however,  has  been  too  full 
a  one,  not  only  with  griefs  and  trials  but  also  with  happiness 
and  fun,  for  me  to  dismiss  it  thus.  There  has  been  so  much 
more  to  live  through  than  to  write  about,  and  yet,  in  these 
pages,  has  been  told  something  which  would  have  gone  for 
ever  untold  if  I  had  not  in  old  age  become  garrulous.  Things 
forgotten  have  been  recalled  to  my  mind  and  may  prove 
suggestive  to  other  people  who  read  them,  and  it  is  my 
hope,  in  concluding,  that  I  have  provided  diversion  and  a 
little  food  for  reflection. 

I  feel  that  a  critic  may  consider  too  much  that  has  been 
set  down  here  is  disconnected,  yet  if  he  will  let  a  gramophone 
record  an  animated  conversation,  he  will  find  that  it  ebbs  and 
flows  with  the  uncertain  babbling  of  a  brook — and  so  it  has 
been    with   me.      Only    the    other    day,    in    the    preface    to 


LATER  DAYS  303 

Camden's  History  of  the  British  Islands^  I  came  across  the 
phrase  : — 

'  bookes  receive  their  doome  according  to  the  reader's  capacitie,' 

and  that  alone  emboldens  me  to  hope  for  some  measure 
of  success  for  the  present  volume.  Readers  do  not  always 
want  serious  subjects,  and  it  is  in  an  hour  when  they  desire 
a  little  diversion  that  I  hope  my  reminiscences  may  commend 
themselves,  for  in  a  phrase  not  unknown  in  my  native  Kerry, 
this  book  consists  of '  little  things,  and  that  away.' 


THE    END 


INDEX 


Abbey  of  St.  Denis,  Paris,  79. 

Abbeyfeale,  253,  259. 
Abercorn,  Duke  of,  165. 
Aberdeen,  Earl  of,  167-168. 

Lady,  167-168. 

Acts — 

Arrears,  183,  184,  197. 

Crimes,  183,  262. 

Encumbered  Estate,  71. 

Habeas  Corpus  Suspension,  225. 

Irish  Church,  44,  180-18 1. 

Land,  see  under  Land. 

Riot,  251. 

Union,  of,  180. 

Westminster,  of  1871,  251. 
Adams,  Mr.  Gould,  of  Kilmachill,  207. 
Aghabey,  83. 
Aghadoe,  3,  95,  254. 
Agriculture,  Commission  on,  268. 
Albert,  Prince,  163. 
America,    Irish   dissatisfaction    fostered 

289;  Home  Rulers  in,  289-290. 
Anderson,  Rev.  J.  A.,  O.S.A.,  99. 
Ardfert,  3. 

Argyll,  Duke  of,  174. 
Ashbourne,  Lord,  286. 
Athenry,  171. 
Avonmore,  Lord,  12. 

Balfour,  Mr.  A.  J.,  Chief  Secretaryship 

172-174. 
Mr.    Gerald,    Chief   Secretaryship 

172-173. 

of  Burleigh,  Lord,  274. 

Ballincushlane,  121. 
Ballot,  effects  of  introduction,  1 94. 
Bally  M'ElJigott,  6. 
Ballybeggan,  4. 


m. 


Ballybunion,  90. 

BaJIyporeen,  Petty  Sessions  at,  164. 

Ballyvourney  parish,  71. 

Bandon,  Lord,  121. 

Bantry,  13,  39,  52. 

Barry,  Lord  Justice,  21-22,  216. 

Barter,  Dr.,  of  Cork,  147. 

Bartlett,  Sir  Ellis  Ashmead,  112. 

Batt,  Father,  123-124. 

Beaconsfield,  Earl  of,  122,  167. 

'  Beal-Bo,'  90-91. 

Beaufort,  fenianism  in,  254. 

Belfast,  population  of,  176. 

Bernard,  Mr.  Edward  Morrogh,  265-266. 

Mrs.  Morrogh,  265-266. 

Bessborough,  Earl  of,  270. 

Bewlay,  Mr.,  274. 

Bianconi,  Mr.  Charles,  78. 

Biggar,  Mr.,  Pamell   Commission   on,  278- 

280. 
Bishops,  nomination  of,  122. 
Blarney,  monument  at,  116. 
Blasquet  Islands,  Lord  Cork's  property  in,  200. 
Blennerhassett,  Mr.  Arthur,  258. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Robert,  3. 

Mr.  Roland,  K.C.,  95,  96. 

Bodkin,  Galway  family  of,  7. 

Bogs,  need  for  draining  of,  141-142. 

Bogue,  Farmer,  32-34,  no. 

Boycott,  Captain,  213. 

Boycotting,     213,     214,    249,    250;     Mr, 

Pamell  on,  216-217. 
Brady,  Lord  Chancellor,  75. 
Breaing,  value  of  land  at,  259. 
Bright  Clauses,  the,  82. 
Bright,  Mr.  Jacob,  177. 

Mr.  John,  177, 

Brown,  Valentine,  3-4. 


U 


3o6    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 


Buccleuch,  Duke  of,  268. 

Buller,  Sir  Redvers,  157. 

Burke,  Mr.  T.  H.,  252. 

Burns,  David,  steward  at  Ardrum,  107. 

Byrne,  Mr.,  89. 

Cadogan,  Earl  of,  169. 

Cahirciveen,  fenianism  at,   66,    1525   drink 

traffic  at,  113;  poverty  of,  214.. 
Cahimane,  sale  of,  by  Hussey  family,  5. 
Cairns,  Lord,  122,  271. 
Callaghan,  Michael,  273. 
Callinafercy  estate,  144,  159. 
Garden,  '  Woodcock,'  255. 
Carew  Manuscript,  the,  4. 
Carlingford,  Lord,  Mr.  Chichester  Fortescue, 

165,  169,  204,  268,  269. 
Carlisle,  Earl  of,  162-163. 
Carlton  Club,  117,  188,  297. 
Carlyle,  Mr.  Thomas,  283. 
Carnarvon,  Earl  of,  167. 
Cassini,  Count,  291. 

Castle  Gregory,  Walter  Hussey,  owned  by,  4. 
Castleisland,  opposition  to  Mr.   Hussey  at, 
84,  214,  215  ;  Mr.  Dease  assaulted  at,  95  j 
drink  traffic  at,  102,  103. 
Castle  of  Doon,  ruins  of,  91. 
Castle-Drum,  land  owned  by  Hussey  family 

at,  2. 
Castlerosse,  Lord,  153-154. 
Cattle,  outrages  on,  220-221. 
Cavanagh,  Mr.,  152. 

Mrs.,  152-153- 

Cavendish,  Lord  Frederick,  174,  252. 
Chamberlain,  Mr.  Joseph,  86,  165,  175. 
Characteristics  of  Irish  nature,  140-161. 
Charlestown,  Land  League  outrage  at,  253. 
Chatelherault,  dukedom  of,  claimed  by  Duke 

of  Abercorn,  165. 
Chief  Secretaries — 

Balfour,  Mr.  A.  J.,  172-173. 

Mr.  Gerald,  172-173. 

Forster,  Mr.  W.  E.,  170-173. 

Fortescue,  Mr.  Chichester  (Lord   Car- 
lingford), 169. 

Lowther,  Mr.  James,  172,  174. 

Morley,  Mr.  John,  175. 

Naas,  Lord,  169. 


Chief  Secretaries — continued — 

Peel,  Sir  Robert,  169,  170. 

Trevelyan,  Sir  George,  174-175. 
Childers, Mr., Royal  Commission, on,  181,284. 
Christian,  Lord  Justice,  83,  89. 
Clare,  Earl  of  (Col.  Fitzgibbon),  164. 
Clarendon,  Earl  of,  163. 
Clergy — 

Protestant,  120-122. 

Roman  Catholic,  11 5-1 20. 
Clonbrook,  Lord,  287. 
Clonmel,  Earl  of,  287. 
Cobbe,  Miss,  57,  177. 
Coffey,  Bishop,  119. 

Denis,  257. 

Colthurst,  Sir  George,  38,  49,  96;  Bally- 
voumey,  estate  of,  208  ;  Rathcole  estate, 
outrages  on,  212. 
Commissions  on  Land  Question,  Mr. 
Hussey's  evidence  before,  268-280;  Par- 
nell  case,  275-280. 
Connor,  Jeremiah,  245. 

Thomas,  245. 

Constabulary,  the,  127-132. 

Conway,  Captain,  3. 

Miss  Avis  (Mrs.  Robert  Blennerhassett), 

3- 
Corelli,  Miss  Marie^  98. 
Cork  and  Orrery,  Earl  of,  199,  200,  218. 
Cork    Constitutional,    Edenburn  outrage,   on 

the,  239-240. 

Examiner,  the,  96,  97,  244. 

Corkaquiny,  barony  of,  castles  of  the  Hussey 

family  in,  2. 
Corn  Law  question,  51. 
Corragun,  Sir  Dominic,  132. 
County  Club,  Cork,  49. 

Tralee,  97,  iii,  242. 


of,   on 


Cowen,  Mr.  Joseph,  204. 

Cowper,    Earl,    166  j     Commission 

Land  Act,  271-272. 
Cox,  Sir  William,  13. 
Creameries,  establishment  of,  161. 
Crime  in  Kerry,  Judge  CBrien  on,  229-234. 
Crosbie,  Bishop  John,  3. 

Colonel,  229. 

Cruickshank  family,  the,  261. 
Curraghila,  land  value  at,  259. 


INDEX 


307 


Daily  Telegraph,  the,  222,  255. 

Daly,  Cornelius,  Denis,  and  John,  245. 

Davitt,  Mr.  Michael,  202,  260,  277,  278, 
291. 

De  Bruce,  Edward,  13. 

De  Freyne  case,  118. 

De  Huse,  Herbert,  6. 

or  Hussy,  Nicholas,  6. 

De  la  Huse,  family  name  of  Hussey,  6. 

De  Lacy,  Hugh,  Earl  of  Ulster,  6. 

Dease,  Mr.,  assault  on,  95,  97. 

Sir  Gerald,  95. 

Deasy,  Lord  Justice,  83. 

Delane,  Anne,  272. 

Denny,  Edmund,  3. 

family,  8. 

Miss,  the  '  Princess  Royal,'  8. 

Mr.  Francis,  155. 

Derby,  Lord,  Land  League,  threats  from,  40  ; 
Archbishop  Magee,  opinion  of,  44 ;  anec- 
dote of,  296. 

Derrynane  Bay,  smuggling  at,  24. 

Desmond,  Countess  of,  282. 

Devonshire,  Duke  of,  269. 

Dillon,  Mr.,  79. 

Dillwyn,  Mr.,  94. 

Dinan,  Jeremiah,  245. 

Dingle,  Hussey  family  settled  at,  2  5  present 
day,  5,  6  j  yeomanry  corps  of,  14 ;  poverty 
of,  214. 

Dispensaries,  135-139. 

Doctors,  dispensary,  appointment  of,  132. 

Dolly's  Brae,  Orange  procession  at,  163. 

Don,  the  O'Conor,  270. 

Doneghan,  Mr.,  42-43. 

Donelly,  Mr.  William,  52. 

Donoughmore,  Lady,  8. 

Donovan,  Sir  Henry,  99. 

Douglas,  Mr.,  57. 

Downing,  Miss  Ellen,  *  Mary,'  63. 

Mr.,  292. 

Dowse,  Baron,  land  purchase,  opinion  on, 
205;  boycotting  on,  214;  Grand  Jury  of 
Kerry,  address  to,  261;  commission  on 
the  Land  Law,  on,  270. 

Doyle  family,  250. 

Drink,  prevalence  of,  101-114. 

Dublin,  population  of,  176. 


Dudley,  Lord,  169. 

DufFerin,  Lord,  185. 

Duffy,  Mr.  Charles  Gavan,  100. 

Dun,  Mr.  Finlay,  192-193,  207,  209. 

Dunraven,  Lord,  173,  271. 

Edenburn,  home  of  Mr.  Hussey  at,  73,  80- 

81 ;  outrage  at,  235-247. 
Egan,  Patrick,  291. 

Elections  in  Kerry,  description  of,  93-100. 
Emigration,  agents'  treatment  of  emigrants, 

57  ;  American  offer  to,  57-58. 
Emmett,  Robert,  156. 
Engineering  Surveyors'  Institution,  42. 
Erne,  Lord,  213. 
Esmonde,  Sir  Thomas,  294. 
Evictions,  number  of,  on  Lord   Kenmare's 

estate,  221. 

Faith,  Mr.  George,  46. 

Famine,  the,  50-59. 

Farms,  sub-divisions  of,  36. 

Farranfore,  evictions  at,  251. 

Fenianism,  60-70. 

FitzGerald,  family  of,  3. 

Lady  (Miss  Julia  Hussey),  16. 

Mr.,  member  of  Land  Commission,  274. 

Mrs.,  173. 

Mrs.  Robert  (Miss  Ellen  Hussey),  16. 

Richard,  245. 

Sir  Peter  (Knight  of  Kerry),  1 6. 

Fitzpatrick,  Sir  Denis,  189. 

FitzWalter,  Theobald,  6. 

Flaherty,  Tim,  48. 

Forster,  Mr.  Arnold,  171. 

Mr.  W.  E.,  Chief  Secretary,  163,  169, 

170-172;  criticism,  sensitiveness  to,  211; 
quoted,  216. 

Free  Trade,  51,  299. 

Freeman,  the,  96. 

French,  Mr.,  222. 

Froude,  Mr.  J.  A.,  Mr.  Hussey  and,  friend- 
ship between,  5,  177,  227,  282-285. 

Fry  Commission,  the,  185,  272. 

Sir  Edward,  272. 

Gadstone  and  Ellis,  Messrs.,  258. 
Generals,  famous  Irish,  156-157. 


3o8     REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 


Gentleman,  Mr.  Goodman,  82. 

Mr.  Henry,  245. 

Geraldine  family,  the,  192. 
Gladstone,  Mr. — 

Irish  emigration,  attitude  towards,  58. 

Legislation,  effects  of,   60-61,  67,  108, 
131,  179-193- 

Letter  to,  from   Mr.   Arthur  Blenner- 
hassett,  258-259. 

Mr.  Hussey  and,  84.,  177-178. 

Mr.  W.  E.  Forster  and,  170,  171. 

Nationalist  party,  attitude  towards,  195- 
196. 

Mrs.,  anecdotes  of,  45,  287. 

Glasgow,  morality  of,  36. 

Globe,  the,  256. 

Godfrey,  Dowager  Lady,  73. 

Sir  John,  154,  155. 

Gough,  Lord,  157. 
Granard,  Earl  of,  118,  259. 
Grant,  Mr.,  193. 
Granville,  Earl,  165. 
Graves,  Mr.,  48. 
Griffin,  Andrew,  264. 
Guest,  Sir  Ivor,  166. 
Guillamore,  Chief  Baron,  1 60. 
Gull,  Mr.,  132. 

Haggerty,  Jeremiah,  outrage  on,  217. 
Harenc  estate,  the,  bought  by  Mr.   Samuel 

Hussey,  82-92,  278  ;  Land  Act,  effect  on, 

274. 
Harenc,  Mr.,  death  of,  82. 
Harnett,  Mr.,  251. 
Harrington,  Mr.  T.,  263-264,  294. 
Harris,  Mr.  Matthew,  251. 
Headley,  Lord,  254,  255. 
Henry,  Mr.  Mitchell,  204. 
Herbert  family,  the,  5. 

Mr.  Charles,  3. 

Mr.  A.  E.,  252,  255  ;  murder  of,  226- 

227. 

Mr.  William,  3. 

Hewson,  Mr.,  84. 

Hickson,  Captain  John, '  Sovereign  of  Dingle,' 

anecdote  of,  13-14. 

Colonel,  273. 

Mr.,  79. 


Hickson,  Mr.  Robert,  13. 

Mrs.,  53. 

Mrs.  Judith,  15. 

Higgins,  Bishop,  119. 

Hitchcock,  Mr.,  6. 

Hoffman,  tenant  of  Mr.  Hussey,  case  of,  273. 

Hogan,  William,  245. 

Hogg,  Mr.,  21. 

Home  Rule  Bill,  282,  287,  297. 

Party,  the,  194-195- 

Rulers,  Irish- American,  289-290. 

Hore,  Mr.,  house  and  haggards  of,  burnt,  4. 
Houghton,  Lord,  168-169. 
Howorth,  Sir  Henry,  285-286. 
Huddard's  School  at  Dublin,  20-21. 
Huddleston,  Mr.  Henry,  house  of,  burnt,  4. 
Husse,  Sir  Hugh,  6. 
Hussey,  origin  of  name,  6. 

Colonel  Maurice,  5-6,  100. 

Miss  Anne,  19. 

Clarissa,  126. 

Mary,  16. 

Mr.  Edward,  16. 

James,  15-16,  19. 

John,  brother  of  Mr.  Samuel,  15. 

son  of  Mr.  Samuel,  16. 

Maurice,  16,  253,  297. 

Michael,  M.P.  for  Dingle,  7. 

'Red  Precipitate,'  10,  12,  15. 

Robert,  1 6. 

Samuel,  M.,  parentage  of,  10-12; 


early  life  and  education  of,  20-29;  farm- 
ing, 30-37  ;  land  agent  in  Cork,  38  ^/  seq. ; 
to  Colthurst  property,  7 1  ;  candidature  of, 
for  Parliament,  96,  98  ,•  Irish  Land  Act 
Commission,  evidence  before,  205-206, 
268-280;  press  criticisms  of,  209-210,  248, 
255,  256,  275;  Land  Leaguers,  threats 
from,  214,224,  235-247;  Edenburn  out- 
rage, 235-247;  'Woodcock,'  255;  land 
sales,  series  of,  letter  to  the  'Times  re- 
garding, 259;  Times,  letter  to,  re  Mr. 
Harrington,  263-264;  Parnell  Commission, 
evidence  before,  276-280;  Froude,  friend- 
ship with,  282-285  ;  Sir  Henry  Howorth, 
friendship  with,  285-286;  Protection, 
opinion  on,  297-299. 
Walter,  4. 


INDEX 


309 


Hussey,  Mrs.  (Miss  Mary  Hick  son),  53; 
descent  of,  12-13. 

Samuel  (Miss  Julia  Agnes  Hick- 
son),  13. 

Sir  John,  Earl  of  Galtrim,  6. 

Inch  East  and  Ardroe,  258. 

Island,  258. 

Industries,  142. 

Inniscarra,  38. 

Irish  Citizen,  the,  248 . 

Irish      Land     Commission,     Mr.     Hussey's 

evidence  before,  205,  270-275. 
Iveragh,  barony  of,  18. 

Jeffreys,  Mr.,  49. 
Jenkinson,  Mr.,  246. 
Jenner,  Mr.,  132. 
Johnson,  Judge,  83. 

Kanturk,  108. 

Keagh,  Judge,  anecdote  of,  87-88;  opinion 
of  Irishmen,  130. 

Kellegher,  Mr.  Jerry,  anecdotes  of,  10-12. 

Kellehers,  the,  88. 

Kelly,  Miss  Mary,  'Eva,'  63. 

Kenmare  family,  the,  3. 

Earl  of,  succession  to  title,  95;  ex- 
penditure on  estate  improvements,  152, 
196,  209,  221,-  anecdote  of,  153;  criti- 
cisms of,  209,  255;  House  of  Commons, 
debate  on  estate  of,  221  ;  departure  from 
Ireland,  224. 

district,  poverty  of,  214. 

Kerry,  population,  etc.,  of,  36-37;  clergy 
and  churches  in,  119 

Kerry  Sentinel,  Edenburn  outrage,  on  the, 
240. 

Kilcockan  parish,  land  value  in,  193. 

Kilcoleman,  woods  of,  155. 

Kildare  Street  Club,  49. 

Killarney,  crime  in,  66,  214. 

House,  home  of  Lord  Kenmare,  115, 

209. 

Killeentiema  House,  home  of  Mr.  A. 
Herbert,  226. 

parish,  church  revenue  of,  121. 


Killiney  parish,  property  of  Hussey  family 

in,  4. 
Killorglin,   Puck     Fair   at,    95,    104,    105 ; 

voting  at,  294. 
Kilmainham  gaol,  68. 
Kilronan,  evictions  at,  258. 
Kimberley,  Earl  of  (Lord  Wodehouse),  1 64, 

165. 
Kitchener,  Lord,  157. 

Laing,   Mr.,   M.P.    for   Orkney,   198-199, 

200. 
Land  Acts,  Wyndham,  the,  40,  41,  58,  187- 

188,     192;     Ashbourne,    the,    41,    264; 

Balfour's,   of   1896,    84;    Gladstone's,  of 

1870,   i8i,    185-186;  of  1881,   71,    181- 

189  ;  effects  of,  196-200,  274,  282. 
Land  League — 

Church  and,  118. 
Effects  of,  199-200,  202,  208. 
Outrages   of,   199,   212-222,   246,  248, 
267. 
Le  Fanu,  Mr.  W.  R.,  77. 

Mr.  Sheridan,  77. 

Leary,  Darby,  245. 

Lecky,  Mr.,  loo,  283. 

Leehys,  the,  feud  of,  88. 

Lefevre,  Mr.  Shaw,  Commission  of,  269. 

Lehunt,  Colonel,  4. 

Leinster,  Duchess  of,  169. 

Leitrim,  Lord,  226. 

Limerick,  Mr.  Hogg's  school  at,  21. 

Lismore,  famine   fever  at,    54;   agricultural 

depression    in,    193;    estate   of  Duke   of 

Devonshire  at,  269-270. 
Listowel,  crime  in,  87,  214. 
Lloyd,  Mr.  Clifford,  128. 
Lockwood,  Mr.  Frank,  277. 
Logue,  Dr.,  Archbishop  of  Armagh,  1 18. 
Lombard  and  Murphy,  Messrs.,  83. 
Londonderry,  Marquis  of,  168. 
Longfield,  Judge,  258. 
Longford,  clerical  help  for  Lord  Granard  in, 

118. 
Lord-Lieutenants — 

Abercorn,  Duke  of,  165. 
Aberdeen,  Earl  of,  167-168. 
Cadogan,  Earl  of,  169. 


3IO  REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 


Lord-Lieutenants — continued — 

Carlisle,  Earl  of,  162-163. 

Carnarvon,  Earl  of,  167. 

Clarendon,  Earl  of,  163. 

Cowper,  Earl,  166. 

Dudley,  Earl  of,  169. 

Houghton,  Lord,  168-169. 

Kimberley,  Earl  of,  164.. 

Londonderry,  Marquis  of,  168. 

Marlborough,  Duke  of,  165-166. 

Spencer,  Earl,  166-167. 

Zetland,  Earl  of,  168. 
Lower  Curryglass,  agricultural  depression  in, 

193. 
Lowther,  Mr.  James,  172,  174,  297. 
Lucy,  Mary,  letters  of,  to  Mr.  Hussey,  292- 

293. 
Luxnow,  83. 

Macaulay,  Dr.,  117. 

Macartney,  Mr.  Ellison,  299. 

MacCarthy,  Bishop,  119. 

Florence,  4. 

Mr.,  115. 

MacCarty,  Mr.  Daniel,  18. 

MacGregor,  Sir  Duncan,  128. 

Magee,  Archbishop,  35,  44-45. 

Magheries, the, owned  by  the  Hussey  family,4. 

Maguire,  Mr.,  M.P.  for  Cork,  43. 

MahafFy,  Prof.,  252. 

Manchester  Guardian  on  the  Edenburn  out- 
rage, 238-239. 

Marlborough,  Duchess  of,  206. 

Duke  of,  165-166,  297. 

Marriage  customs,  142-146. 

Marshall,  Miss  Leeson,  301. 

Mr.  Leeson,  144,  159,  2065  anecdote 

of,  301. 

Martin,  Miss,  books  of,  30. 

Mr.  Richard,  M.P.,  55. 

Mr.  Robert,  274. 

Mason,  John,  245. 

Matthew,  Father,  61,  101-102. 

Maynooth,  116,  118,  122,  180. 

M'Calmont,  Captain,  261. 

McCarthy,  Mr.  Justin,  264. 

M'Cowan,  Mr.,  of  Tralee,  220. 

M'Elligott,  John,  245. 


Merry,  Mr.  Andrew,  120. 
Milnes,  Mr.  Monckton,  168. 
Millstreet,  crime  in,  217,  222. 
Milltown,  voting  at,  295. 

Fair,  price  of  cattle  at,  273. 

Minard  Castle,  4. 

Minerals,  142. 

Mitchel,  Mr.  John,  55,  64. 

Monaghan,  Chief  Justice,  87. 

Monk,  Lord,  94. 

Monsell,  Hon.  Mrs.,  65. 

Moore,  Mr.  Crosbie,  164-165. 

Moriarty,  Dr.,  Bishop  of  Killarney,  66,  67, 

119. 
Morley,  Mr.,  170,  175-176,  177,  178. 
Morning  Post,  291. 
Morris,  Lord,  anecdotes  of,  69,  76,  87,  137, 

167-168,  170,  254-255,  288. 

Mr.  Edward,  111-112. 

Mountmorres,  Lord,  226. 

Moynihar,  Michael,  245. 

Muckross,  5,  166. 

Miiller,  Prof.  Max,  131. 

Mullins,  Miss,  8. 

Murder,  encouragement  of,  227-228. 

Murphy,  Cornelius,  murder  of,  231. 

Mr.,  88. 

Patrick,  of  Rath,  case  of,  222. 

Murray,  George,  13. 

Judith,  13. 

Mrs.  William  (Miss  Anne  Grainger), 

13- 

(Miss  Ann  Hornswell),  13. 

Sir  Walter,  Lord  of  Drumshegrat,  1 2. 

Mr.  William,  13. 

Murray" s  Magazine,  297. 

Naas,  Lord,  169. 

posting  arrangements  at,  31. 

Nagle,  Mr.,  46-47. 

Nason  family,  193. 

National  League  Police,  250. 

Nationalists,  the,  196. 

Neill,  Daniel,  245. 

Neligan,  John,  245. 

Ne-iv  York  Tablet,  the,  210. 

NicoU,  Mrs.,  241. 

Nield,  Mr.,  253. 


INDEX 


311 


Nolan,  Mr.,  of  Ballinderry,  55. 
Normanton,  Lord,  259. 

O'Brien,  Judge,  address  to  Grand  Jury  on 

state  of  Kerry,  228-234. 

Smith,  64-65. 

O'Connell,    Mr.    Daniel,   anecdotes   of,    10, 

160;  family  of,  24-25. 

(junior),  152. 

John,  25. 

Morgan,  24. 

Philip,  anecdote  of,  48. 

Mrs.,  78. 

Sir  James,  25-26. 

O'Connor,  Father  M.,  92. 

Fergus,  anecdote  of,  76. 

Mr.  T.  P.,  62. 

O'Conor  Don,  the,  270. 
O'Donnell  f .  the  Times,  274. 
O'Donoghue,  Rev.  Denis,  96. 

the,  221  ;  election  of,  98-99. 

O'Hagan,  Lord,  89. 
Oliver,  Colonel,  199. 
Ormsby,  Judge,  82,  83. 
O'Shaughnessy,  Mr.,  273. 
O'Shea,  Daniel,  210,  255. 
O'Sullivan,  James,  245. 

Palmer,  Mr.,  294. 

Parliament,  Irish  Members  of,  194  et  seq. 

Parnell  Commission,  68,  104,  275-280. 

Mr.,   fenian    leadership   of,    65,    1565 

Lord  Carnarvon  and,  167;  Land  League 
and,  195,  202,216;  speech  quoted  on 
boycotting,  249. 

Parnellism  and  crime,  275. 

Peel,  Sir  Robert,  51,  76. 

(the  younger),  169. 

Pembroke,  Earl  of,  271. 

Phoenix  Park  murder,  the,  252. 

Society,  the,  65. 

Pigott,  Richard,  275-276. 

Pitt,  Mr.  William,  180. 

Plunkett,  Mr.  T.  O.,  222. 

Sir  Horace^  161. 

Price,  Professor  Bohnamy,  268. 

Protection,  Mr.  Hussey  on,  297-299. 


Puck  Fair,  95,  104-105. 
Punchestown,  296. 

Quill,  Patrick,  273. 

Ray,  Mr.  Jack,  anecdote  of,  154-155. 
Regium  Donum,  Presbyterian  grant,  180. 
Reld,  Mr.,  277. 

Sir  Wemyss,  171,  211. 

Reynolds,  Alderman  John,  75-76. 

John,  245. 

Richmond  and  Gordon,  Duke  of,  204,  268. 

Roberts,  Earl,  157. 

Roche,  Mr.  R.,  240. 

Roden,  Lord,  163. 

Ronayne,  Mr.  Joseph,  M.P.  for  Cork,  46. 

Rosebery,  Earl  of,  171. 

Ross,  Judge,  41. 

Rossa,  O'Donovan,  65. 

Rossbeigh,  Land  League  at,  266. 

Royal  Commission  on  Agriculture,  204. 

Russell,  Lord  John,  51,  163. 

Sir  Charles,  276-277. 

Sadler,  Colonel,  4. 

Saint  Alban's,  Holborn,  Church  of,  122. 

Saint  Anne's,  Soho,  Church  of,  34. 

Saint  James's  Club,  57. 

Salisbury,  Lord,  Commission  on  Land  Act 

of  1881,  271. 
Sandes,  Mr.,  97. 

Savings  Banks,  increase  of  deposits,  191. 
Saxe,  Marshal,  anecdote  of,  62-63. 
Schoolmasters,  appointment  of,  133. 
Scottish  character,  35-36. 
Scully,  Mr.,  94. 
Sexton,  Mr.,  222. 
Shaftesbury,  Lord,  122. 
Shanahan,  Robert,  151. 

Thomas,  245. 

Shaw,  Mr.,  270. 

Sheehan,  Mr.,  252. 

Sheehy,  Father,  252. 

Shiel,  Sir  George,  122. 

Smerwick  Harbour,  2. 

Smith,  Mr.  Charles,  historian,  2,  6. 

Sidney,  136. 

Somerville,  Miss,  30. 


312    REMINISCENCES  OF  AN  IRISH  LAND  AGENT 


Spencer,  Lord,  anecdote  of,  166-167  ;  Land 
Act,  opinion  on,  203  ;  Coercion  Act, 
opinion  on,  225. 

Spiddal,  137. 

Standford,  Mr.,  99. 

Stansfield,  Lord,  204. 

Star  newspaper,  275. 

Stephen,  Sir  James,  quoted,  250-251. 

Stevens,  Captain,  no. 

Stephens,  James,  '  Number  One,'  65,  68,  156. 

Stuart,  Mr.,  258. 

SulHvan,  Sir  Edward,  166. 

Sunday  Democrat  newspaper,  255. 

Tanner,  Dr.,  112. 

Thackeray,  William  Makepeace,  78. 

Thorneycroft,  Colonel,  16. 

Times  newspaper,  the — 

Edenburn  outrage,  on  the,  239,  242-243. 

Encumbered  Estate  Act,  quoted  on,  71. 

Mr.  Hussey's  letter  to,  on  land  values, 
259  J  Lord  Kenmare's  estate,  221. 

O'Donnell  -v.,  274-275. 

Parnell  Commission,  Mr.  Hussey's  evi- 
dence before,  276-280. 
Traill,  Dr.  Anthony,  272. 
Tralee,  drink  traffic  in,  113. 

County  Club,  97,  in,  242. 

Trant  family,  the,  107. 

Trench,  Mr.   Steuart,  famine  described  by, 

50-51- 

Townshend,  17,  277. 

Trevelyan,  Sir  George,  174-175. 
Trinity  College,  Dublin,  117. 
Tucker,  Sir  Charles,  157. 


Tulla,  outrage  at,  171,  216. 
Tullamore,  Mr.  Forster's  speech  at,  216. 
Tweedmouth,  Lord,  167. 
Tynan,  'Number  One,'  65,  156. 

Union  Club,  246. 

United  Ireland  newsY>a.per,  244,  249,  251. 
University,    Roman    Catholic,    for   Ireland, 
Mr.  Hussey's  opinion  regarding,  116-117. 

Ventry  Harbour,  2,  4. 

Lady,  famine,  help  in,  53,  54. 

■  Lord,  46. 

Wallace,  Mr.  Paul,  48. 
Walsh,  Dr.,  Archbishop  of  Dublin,  118. 
Wellington,  Duke  of,  157,  163. 
White,  Mr.  Richard,  of  Inchiclogh,  55. 

Sir  George,  157. 

Whiteboys,  14,  61-62. 
Whiteside,  Chief  Justice,  89. 
Wilde,  Lady,  '  Speranza,'  63. 

Oscar,  63. 

Winn,  Mr.,  255. 

Wolseley,  Lord,  157,  283. 

Wrench,  Mr.,  274. 

Wright,  Mr.  Huntley,  quoted,  101. 

'  Wuffalo  Will,'  64. 

Wyndham,  Mr.,  58,  129. 

York,  Duke  of,  173. 
Youghal,  193. 
Young  Ireland  Party,  63. 
Mr.,  99. 

Zetland,  Earl  of,  168. 


Printed  by  T.  and  A.  Constablf,  Printers  to  His  Majesty 
at  the  Edinburgh  University  Press 


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